Struggles – Page 19 – Growing 4 Life

10 Things to Do (Instead of Watching TV)

5 Comments / October 21, 2013 October 21, 2013

Would you believe I let myself –once again– get caught up in a popular TV show? At first, it was excellent. The characters were deep, the dilemmas were real, and the plot, fascinating. The producers did an admirable job showing the real world without delving into the filth. Oh, the filth was there, under the surface, but they did a great job at keeping it real without glorifying or magnifying the reality of the filth.

But then, just like all of the other times I had let myself watch a popular show, I ended up being disappointed. You’d think I’d learn!

Call me crazy, but I actually believe the entertainment industry quite purposefully starts a new series quite benignly. We all get hooked into the plot and then, just when we are all loving the show and quite intrigued with the story line, the series starts to be more explicit and violent and ungodly. What an easy way to harden the hearts and change the morals of an entire society!

But, actually, it is okay with me. Do you know why? Because it is a great reminder that television is just a big waste of time, anyway. Yeah, yeah, I know there are some good educational shows. I get that. But most of us are not watching educational TV. We are watching cop shows, hospital dramas, and inane comedies. We are spending hours watching men play with a ball or throw each other down in rings.

What a waste of our God-given hours!

So, I got to thinking…

In this day and age, when we have become so reliant on our televisions for our evening entertainment–especially during the long winter evenings–what else could we be doing instead?

And I came up with this list. Of course, this list would be different for a home with young kids or an empty nester, but at least it gets us started thinking about turning the box off and turning our brains on.

Here are my 10 things to do instead of watching TV–

1. Play games! Since our kids have started dating, we have revived the game playing in our family. We enjoy lots of different games but here are a few of our favorites: Qwerkle (perhaps our all-time favorite!), Play Nine, Scattergories, CatchPhrase, Apple to Apples, Blokus, and Yahtzee. We like quick games that don’t take a ton of strategy. While we like to think a little, we are not real interested in thinking a lot! ;)

2. Find a new hobby. We live in a country with a million and one opportunities. Sure, we may be limited by our budgets, but even the most limited budgets can afford at least the cable bill per month. Cancel cable and invest that money into a new hobby. Think knitting, crocheting, baking, wood-working, sewing, digital scrap-booking, painting, making jewelry, building models, and photography. Start playing for an indoor sports league or take up strength-training or ice skating.

3. Take a class. Challenge yourself by enrolling in a class. There are affordable classes on just about anything–dance, accounting, computers, cooking, gardening, cake decorating, history, Bible, photography. Think of a subject you’d like to know more about and find a class that could help you learn.

4. Put a puzzle together. I know puzzles are old-fashioned entertainment. I get that. But buy a fun puzzle and start working on it. Watch your kids (no matter their age) come and sit down and start working on it with you. Or they may just sit next to you and start talking. When you are working on a puzzle, you are able to talk and laugh and discuss. It gives great opportunities to build relationships.

5. Organize something you have been meaning to organize for years. Perhaps it is files or photos on your computer. Or maybe it’s a drawer or a cabinet. These things do not take a lot of thought, so they are easy, mindless tasks to do when you are tired at the end of a long day. Put on a great podcast, like Grace to You, and you can learn something while you are working.

6. Read a book. You can probably guess that this is my favorite option. I love to get a nice steaming cup of peppermint tea sweetened with a little turbinado sugar and sit down with a good book. I often bemoan the fact that there are too many books and not enough time. I am usually reading several titles from different genres and will often enjoy reading quietly in the evenings. If you are one of those people that says “I hate to read” then I challenge you to give it a try. Train yourself to read and be amazed at how it changes you. I always love this quote by Dave Ramsey: In five years, you will be the same person except for the people you meet and the books you read.

7. Play an instrument. Perhaps you still have a saxophone or flute hidden away in a closet somewhere. Get it out and dust it off. Or maybe you used to play the piano and now the piano is only used for your kids’ lessons. Sit down and get to know that wonderful instrument once again. Pick up your daughter’s violin or your son’s trumpet and see if you remember anything. And if you’ve never played anything then learn now! We are never too old to stretch our brains and learn something new (and they say that learning new things is a way to keep Alzeimer’s at bay–just saying!)

8. Download a fun app on your iPad or Tablet. It is incredible just how many apps are available, isn’t it? You can edit photos, create photo collages, play games about the Bible, history, science, and geography. You can write a new song or pound out a familiar tune using one of the many music apps. There are apps to help you organize your home and garden and gift-giving. There are apps that will help you learn a new language or how to star gaze. Using your iPad or Tablet makes it so much easier to read online material, as well. Some of my favorite apps are Wonderful Days, FighterVerse, Pocket, Zinio, DuoLingo, PicCollage, Stack Countries, and Life.

Please note: Time spent on the iPad feels the same to your family as watching TV (i.e., you become distracted and uninterested in what’s going on around you), so I have discovered that it is in my family’s best interest to limit this time until after the kids are in bed (or busy elsewhere, in my case) and my husband is working on something else.

9. Do that thing you “never have time for“. Everyone does it. You ask them if they read such and such a book– “Oh, I don’t have time for that.” You ask them if they have kept in touch with so and so– “Oh, we are so busy, I don’t have time for that.” This is probably worthy of a whole post all on its own, but to bottom line it– we all have time for what we want to do. So take a moment and think about the things that you say you don’t have time for and see if any of those can fit into that slot in the evening when you are vegging out in front of the television.

10. Encourage someone. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Write an encouraging letter full of news from home to a missionary. Write a thank you note to your pastor or teacher. Send an e-mail to someone you haven’t seen since last Christmas. Send Get Well cards to the infirm on your church’s prayer list. Visit the elderly man or lady at the home that has no family. Do something nice for someone.

You have just read my “ideas” list for this winter. As I have been pondering this list the last few days, I have become excited about doing something besides watching that box this winter. I have plans to learn a new language, learn to knit (or at least give that one more try!), and write some letters. I hope to organize some pictures and put some Shutterfly albums together. With some perseverance and diligence, I can redeem the long winter evenings instead of waste them.

Anyone care to join me in this goal?

Why Do We Get So Angry?

Leave a Comment / October 15, 2013 October 15, 2013

I can get really angry. Some of the things that make me angry (or at least very irritated) are–

• drivers that go below the speed limit

• being interrupted while I am trying to concentrate

• kids who argue or show disprespect

• leaving the lights on and closet doors open

• twisting the truths of scripture

• not getting my way

Now before you judge or criticize me, stop and think about yourself for a moment. I am guessing that there are a few things that probably make your blood grow a little hot, as well.

Of course, all of us do not express anger the same way. Some of us yell and scream. Others sulk or get very quiet. Still others gossip or slander. Some people (hopefully not any of my readers) express their anger inappropriately by throwing things or hitting and kicking.

But, no matter how it manifests itself, anger is a part of all of our lives.

A sermon I listened to recently clarified the sinfulness of anger. It also made it clear how much I shrug off this sin. I rationalize that everyone gets angry once in awhile. So what? What’s the big deal?

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we have righteous anger, but it doesn’t take much honest introspection to come to the conclusion that most of our anger is about our own personal agenda and has nothing to do with an offense towards the Holy God we love.

In fact, when I started to think about this particular sin in my life, I was mortified at just how important I consider my agenda, my comfort and convenience, my desires, and my stuff.

After all, why would I get so very angry when someone crosses me if they weren’t so important to me?

{And suddenly I remember what I really am—a self-absorbed, pathetic sinner in desperate need of a Savior. For if anything can remind me of the wonder of salvation and the glory of the Gospel it is coming face to face with my own sin.}

So, if I am angry because someone is keeping me from my doing what I want to do or having what I want to have, what exactly does that mean? I believe that it means that something is more important to me than God at that moment. And that means that–at least for that moment– there is an idol in my life.

For example, let’s just say that I want a clean house and so I work hard to have one. An hour later my husband walks through the house with muddy boots. If I grow angry (and I usually do), then I am putting my desire for a clean house before pleasing the Lord with my tongue.

Another example comes to mind. Let’s say I am searching for a pair of earrings and can’t find them. I eventually figure out that one of my daughters borrowed (and lost) them. If I speak angry words in frustration (which is, quite honestly, normally how I respond) than–for that moment–my stuff has become more important than pleasing the Lord.

The sad thing is that this happens to me way, way too often.

You see, most of us like to blame our anger on something or someone else. We talk about our hormones, our misbehaved kids, or our demanding parents. We blame our husbands, our pastors, or our co-workers. They made us angry.

But, if we are honest, we really cannot shift the blame for our anger on to someone (or something) else. In each instance, whether we grow slightly frustrated or absolutely furious, we still hold the responsibility for that anger.

There are better ways to solve problems than anger. In fact, I would go so far as to say, anger compounds the problem rather than solving it. Think about the last time you got angry. Can you think of it? Now think about how you responded. Got it? So my question for you is this: Did your yelling and screaming help or hinder resolution? Did your sulkiness and sullenness bring peace or strife to the situation?

So, in a nutshell, our anger not only shows us that we are selfish to the core but it also hinders our relationships. If that is the case, then what is the right way to respond? And how do we get ourselves to respond in this right way?

Honestly, I am still working on that one. I am pretty certain that it has to do with devaluing and dethroning myself while I make pleasing God my most important priority in all aspects of my life. Some things that would probably help me in this are memorizing scripture, prayer, and having a response plan in place for the inevitable frustrating moments that will come.

What I do know, without a doubt, is that our spouses are more important than our desires, our children are more important than our stuff, and that God is more important than anything else. That leads me to believe that working on this problem of anger isn’t an option, but a necessity if we are going to grow in our faith.

Dodging the Land Mines

2 Comments / October 7, 2013 October 7, 2013

The other night we visited with some friends who had spent many years in a foreign country as missionaries. The husband talked about how dangerous his first few years were when he was there as a single missionary. The nationals had warned him of the deadly land mines and bombs that were still part of their daily existence. They cautioned him to beware of every piece of trash, tiny fragment of plastic, or piece of string on the street, asserting that the smallest thing could be a set-up. He would ride his motorbike trying to avoid anything that lay on the road, knowing that he could be blown to smithereens in a heartbeat.

I believe his experience may be likened to the Christian culture we find ourselves in.

It is like we are on a motorbike and everywhere we turn there is danger. We can never take anything at face value, because there may be something deadly beneath the surface.

For instance, I recently saw a Facebook status of a woman who was asking about “hypnobirthing”. I knew with a prefix like hypno it was probably not a good thing, so I did a little investigating. I found out that it is the process of self-hypnosis while giving birth. Imagine my surprise when all of the comments below her status were by women who were praising this method and even talked about how close to God they felt during the experience.

But wait a minute! Anything to do with hypnosis should be a problem for a Christian. Any type of hypnosis means giving up self control and putting control of your mind into the hands of another person or being. This practice is in direct opposition to Christianity. And yet here were well-meaning Christians promoting something that threatens a healthy walk with God.

They had unknowingly stepped on a spiritual land mine. Spiritual land mines do not kill us outright. No, they are instead like an insidious poison that seeps into our minds, doing great damage to our spiritual walks. And since we do not realize that we have been poisoned, we will, with well-meaning motives and enthusiasm, often infect others.

Here are a few other instances of spiritual landmines–

~A “Christian” book that completely and totally dismantles the gospel, piece by piece, that I see in the hands of a Christian friend.

~A suggestion to my daughter that she read a book that destroys the image of God as set forth in scripture, also labeled as a “Christian” book.

~Songs that are on the playlist on my Christian radio station that promote anti-biblical, new age themes.

~Statuses of sincere Christians, quoting mystics and false teachers, unaware that these people they admire have tainted and twisted the gospel beyond repair.

~Revered pastors and teachers using a version of the Bible that changes the meaning of entire passages of scripture.

If you are a genuine believer at this moment in time, then you and I are in this dangerous, deadly field of spiritual land mines together. There is no place that is safe, no place we can run and hide. While there may still be a few churches and ministries unaffected by false teaching they become rarer and rarer each day. We have to take every step carefully, always being aware of what we are reading, who we are listening to, and the preachers and authors we are promoting.

We have to be willing to turn away from something that looks promising or exciting or deeply spiritual, if it goes against what is taught in God’s Word.

Of course, as I have said maybe a million times before on this blog, we can only do so if we know God’s Word. We need to keep ourselves immersed in the Bible, studying and memorizing it.

We are in a spiritual war and the battle is growing more intense by the day. We can put our heads in the sand if we want to, but to do so not only puts our own spiritual health in danger, but also the spiritual lives of our families and friends.

Oh, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, we are in a very dangerous era. Worldly Christians will tell you otherwise, but don’t you believe them. We are walking through the land of spiritual landmines. We are not friends with this world. We are on a narrow path. And we are hated. But take heart! This world is not our home! The best is yet to come!

Meanwhile, let’s keep our eyes wide open and take our spiritual steps very cautiously. I Thessalonians 5:21 says it best: Test everything. Hold fast what is good.

Wednesday Wisdom: Six Reasons Not to Worry

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2013 October 2, 2013

This world is crazy, isn’t it? It is changing rapidly and it’s a little scary. Yesterday the government shut down. Our “normal” seems to hang in the balance, tossed about in the hands of a socialist leader. Meanwhile, we hear of other bad news, constantly bombarded with stories of violence and diseases and accidents, affecting strangers, as well as those we love dearly. We are constantly confronted with this fact: I control nothing in my life. This can cause some of us to worry. I heard this sermon yesterday and it seemed especially appropriate in light of the current climate of our country. I found it very helpful and I hope you will, too. It is based on Luke 12:22-34 and is by R.W. Glenn, pastor of Redeemer Bible Church. It’s fairly long, but please read through to the end, as he asks four questions that really get to the heart of why we worry.

The world is a dangerous place. Lots of things can happen. The present economy being what it is, you could lose your job. You could be mugged or raped. Your spouse could commit adultery. Or he or she could suddenly abandon you. Your teenage son could repudiate the faith. Your parents could die in a car accident. You could suffer a debilitating injury. You could contract a fatal illness. Your house could burn down. You could lose your life’s savings in bad investments.

And even less significant things could happen. Your car could fail to start. You could fail an exam. You could sprain your ankle. Your colleagues could misunderstand you. Your friend could break your favorite toy. Life is full of risks.

Along with the potential dangers, there are simply lots of things that need to get done. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and households to manage. There are quotas to meet and sales to close. There are meetings to give, budgets to meet, and moves to make. There are church, family, work, and personal responsibilities. There are vacations and weddings and socials and all manner of events to plan. There are sermons to prepare and Sunday school lessons to arrange. There is so much to do, and it seems, so little time in which to accomplish it.

And according to the ADAA, the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, an estimated 19 million adult Americans suffer from what they call anxiety disorders, including…

Generalized anxiety disorder
Agoraphobia
Social phobia
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Sexual aversion disorder
Sleep terror disorder
Avoidant personality
Persecutory delusions
Panic disorder
Paranoid schizophrenia
Other specific phobias
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Nightmare disorder
Paranoid personality
Separation anxiety disorder2

And in the background of these clinical diagnoses are quietly running (or not so quietly) all kinds of fears…

Fears for your safety and the safety of those you love.
Fears about how you will die: a progressively debilitating disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, being alone, being penniless.
Fears about what happens after death: being forgotten, being maligned, being judged, being extinct.
Fears about living a meaningless life.
Fears about being unloved or alone.
Fears about being in love and the high probability of being hurt.
Fears about what you might lose: your figure, boyfriend, girlfriend, hair, youth, mind, money, job, spouse, health, hobbies, purpose, faith.3

The point here is that anxiety is commonplace; Jesus assumes it and tells us that there are lots of reasons to worry. But then he heaps up six better reasons NOT to.

REASON #1: Your life is bigger than your worries – v. 23.

For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.

This is what happens when you’re anxious: you blow up your worry out of proportion to its size. And it becomes so big that it crowds out and takes over your life. It becomes the thing you think about all the time:

Your relational worries
Your work performance worries
Your personal appearance worries
Your financial worries

What you worry about becomes the center of your life, but here Jesus reminds us of a truth we can take to the bank: YOU WERE MADE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT.

“BUT,” you say, “I thought you just said that Jesus’ original audience wasn’t worrying about TRIVIA; their worries were a matter of life and death. So how is “your life is bigger than your worries” supposed to comfort me when I’m worrying about a life-and-death issue?”

TWO THINGS:

Jesus is talking about anything and everything you might worry about. By addressing life-and-death issues he’s including all the lesser worries leading up to it.
When Jesus says that your life is bigger than your life-and-death worries, he’s saying something more than “In the grand scheme of things, your worry is not that big a deal.” INSTEAD, he’s saying a Christian’s life doesn’t end with this life. The timeline of your life extends BEYOND death to RESURRECTION life – the time when everything sad becomes untrue.

SO, “your life is bigger than your worries” is meant to remind you that your life is WAY BIGGER than even your life-and-death worries. After this life, you’ve got eternity to go!

So, reason #1 not to worry: Your life is bigger than your worries.

REASON #2: The Lord takes care of CROWS – v 24.

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!

Crows are scavengers, the garbage men of the bird world, UNCLEAN birds according to the OT law – and yet God takes care of them. How much more are YOU.

REASON #3: Worrying accomplishes NOTHING – vv 25-26.

25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?

This is just a simple, logical reason. Do you ever really help your situation by worrying about it? No, of course not.

REASON #4: God puts clothes on the WEEDS – vv 27-28.

27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

This is similar logic to the logic of the crows: if he feeds crows, he’ll certainly take care of you. Only Jesus does one better. And you’re going to LOVE how David Powlison explains it…

This promise is far more than “God will take care of you.” This is “God will clothe you in nothing less than His radiant glory!” I promise you. “So why do you worry about the clothes you wear? I’ll dress you in My own glory! Why do you worry about your health? I’ll raise you from the dead to eternal life. Why do you worry about a few dollars? I’ll give you the whole earth as your inheritance. Why do you worry when someone doesn’t like you? I’ll make you live in the kingdom of My love!”4

So reason #4 – God clothes the WEEDS, and is going to clothe you with GLORY. So why worry.

REASON #5: Your loving father KNOWS what you need – v 30.

For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.

And when your dad happens to be the ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, SOVEREIGN GOD – you’re in good hands, aren’t you! And to say that he knows what you need means that he cares.

REASON #6: This is the most significant reason of ALL because “Jesus makes it as personal, intimate, and generous as possible.”5 YOUR LOVING FATHER IS HAPPY TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM – v 32.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

Let’s break that down:

“Fear not” – It’s a comfort command. It’s a command, so worry is a sin; but more than that, Jesus is saying you don’t have to worry.

“Little flock” – The shepherd of a little flock knows every sheep by name – EVERY DETAIL. He knows your situation. How you feel. What you’re facing.

“Your Father’s” – This is your dad we’re talking about. If yours was terrible, invert his terribleness and multiply it by infinity! If yours was great, skip the inversion, and STILL multiply it by infinity!

“good pleasure” – You don’t have to twist your father’s arm AT ALL. He’s full ofgenerosity toward you. It’s the same word that Luke uses earlier in Ch 3 (the only other time in the Gospel of Luke this used) to describe the Father’s pleasure with Jesus.

“to give you” – This gift-giving language. The language of GRACE. He doesn’t pay you the kingdom. He gives it to you as a GIFT.

“the kingdom” – The kingdom is both a present and future reality. In the future, the kingdom is God’s RULE when everything sad becomes untrue. When everything is set right in the world. When you can finally EXHALE and REST. Nothing left to fear. ALL the monsters have been destroyed.

In the present, receiving the kingdom means experiencing something of that rest in the here and now. Your dad is the most powerful person in the universe and he has nothing but love for you. So he’s going to give you his peace and joy and rest TODAY. How do we know that? He’s given you the King – King Jesus! How will he not with King Jesus freely give you EVERYTHING – that peace, that rest?

So then, six reasons – better than your reasons to worry – six reasons NOT to worry:

Your life is bigger than your worries.
God feeds CROWS.
Worrying accomplishes nothing!
Your loving father knows what you need.
God puts clothes on WEEDS.
Your loving father is happy to give you the kingdom.

Those are some good reasons!

STILL, as encouraged as you may be right now, you may be wondering how it is that Jesus’ teaching on anxiety is better than what you can find outside the church (the case we’re making in this series).

Well, to address that, I want to walk you through four questions – questions to ask yourself and especially others – that I hope will help you see how RELEVANT Jesus’ teaching really is.

QUESTION #1: What specifically do you worry about?

This can be extremely helpful because when you are really anxious it seems like there are a million things going on inside you. “Anxieties feel endless and infinite – but they are [actually] finite and specific.”6

So what is it for you? Talk it over with a friend to help you identify it. The act of naming what it is will be massively helpful to you.

QUESTION #2: How specifically do you express your anxiety?

Is it feelings of panic?
Is it tightness in your throat?
Is it through your dreams?
Is it repetitive/obsessive thoughts?
Is it anger (that’s a big one)?
Is it depression (another big one)?
Is it binging on Ben & Jerry’s?
Is it taking the edge off with a few martinis?
Is it cleaning your house?
Is it headaches?
Is it planning/strategizing?
Is it through superstitions?

This is a helpful question because it will ALERT you to the fact that anxiety is driving you at that moment.

So, question #2: How do you specifically express your anxiety? What does it look like when you’re worried? How do you behave?

QUESTION #3: This is the KEY QUESTION because it not only allows you to move beyond the anxiety to what motivates it, but it is the key question also because it shows why Jesus is the TRUE ANSWER to our struggles with worry (a better prescription than anything or anyone out there.) Question #3 is: WHY are you anxious?

Here in our passage Jesus gives three underlying reasons – all of which I’m sure will resonate with your own experience.

1. Anxiety is a TREASURE issue – v 34.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Worry is what happens when what you value is threatened. Do you know what it is you value? You value what you worry about and you worry about what you value. I’ll say that again: you value what you worry about and you worry when what you value is threatened.

So if you want to find out what you really value, what makes you tick, what you’re ten fingers and ten toes are committed to, look to what makes you anxious. Fear is an inverted desire. If I’m afraid of being seen as an idiot, then I value being seen as intelligent. If I’m afraid of my job’s insecurity, then I value job security. And on and on. The point is that if you want to find out what you really value, identify what you worry about. You value what you worry about.

But you also worry when what you value is threatened. If I value my children’s welfare, then I worry when they are in danger. If I value my livelihood, then I worry when there are company layoffs. If I value my reputation, then I worry when people think ill of me. Again, we could go on and on. The point here is that you worry when what you value is threatened.

Now because Jesus is the only thing TRULY and ULTIMATELY worth valuing, and because he is completely unassailable, if you value Jesus Christ, can anyone take Jesus Christ from you? No. That’s what Jesus is talking about when he says look, money is a good way of seeing what you value – v 33.

Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.

It’s unassailable. Your anxiety is a treasure issue – it’s about what you VALUE. And because deep down you know that any treasure other than Jesus Christ is weak, powerless, failing and futile, OF COURSE you’re worried.

Anxiety isn’t just a treasure issue.

2. Anxiety is a KINGDOM issue – v 31.

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

There are two kingdoms at war in every human being’s life – the kingdom of SELF and the kingdom of God. They are kingdoms in conflict.

If you could live perfectly for the right kingdom – the one ruled by King Jesus – you wouldn’t worry at all, ever because you know he’s got your life in his hands and promises ONLY to do good to you.

The worry comes because you are afraid that your will won’t be done, that you won’t get what you think you deserve. You’re afraid that somehow my project of building my own kingdom about me is threatened. So you worry…

“Do I have any real friends?”
“What if I don’t make the team? What if I forget my lines in the play? What if someone else gets picked for that committee?”
“Will I ever find a husband or wife?”
“If I do find one, will he or she be faithful to me?”
“Will I be able to have kids?”
“If I have kids, how will they turn out?”
“What about my health? Some of my friends are dying of cancer. It’s painful. Is that going to be for me? Will I be able to have the strength to go through that? What if I get Alzheimer’s? The thought of ending my life not even able to recognize the people I love: what about that?”

On and on and on, your health, your money, your relationships, your achievements.7

But in the END, it’s all about ME – my wants, my needs, my desires. Worry is focused INWARD. It is self-protective and self-reliant. It chooses kingdom of self over the kingdom of God. This is why Jesus is the only answer to worry – you need a new king. Only Jesus is a king sufficient to take away your worries.

SO anxiety is a KINGDOM issue.

3. Jesus says anxiety is a FAITH issue – v 28.

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

As Calvin has said, “Unbelief is the mother of every anxiety.” People who worry do not trust the true and living God. And in the absence of trusting God, we trust false gods. And, of course, this SHOULD make us anxious. Our false gods are powerless to help us when things go rough…because they’re not real. They are the figment of our imagination.

Oh, most of us don’t make dashboard idols that we give fruit and meats to – but we are idolaters nonetheless. The prophet Ezekiel talks about idols of the heart – the things we live for and long for – the things we seek above God – power, fame, sex, money, approval, intelligence, comfort, security – whatever.

Now whatever we live for other than God will only do two things: lower the boom or raise the bar (I owe this language to my friend Dick Kaufmann). If you fail to live up to the standard of your idol of choice, they lower the boom – make you feel terribly guilty so you’re always trying to live up to the standard your idol sets for you from fear of it lowering the boom. So you’re anxious!

On the other hand, if you DO live up to the standard of your idol, if you get what you crave, it only raises the bar. It says, “Not good enough. You need more.” And so you’re anxious, too, only this time, you’re not afraid as much you’re insecure. “Did I do enough?” When is enough, enough?”

But, of course, your idol of choice is simply yourself. We love to trust ourselves. And whenever you trust yourself, you cannot trust God at the same time. The moment your faith shifts from God to self, your faith in God lessens. It’s just the way it works. So when you worry, you are transferring your faith from God to self, and essentially telling God that you can run the universe better than he can, so you’ll take it from here!

No wonder you’re worried! Running the universe, with all its contingencies, is a BIG JOB.

But if you remember what Christ has done for you, if you trust that your Father’s good pleasure is to give you the kingdom, if you believe that you are valuable to God, then your worries begin to evaporate.

Anxiety is a FAITH issue. Trusting yourself is loaded with uncertainty and insecurity. Trusting God you can take to the BANK because he’s proved himself at the cross. He must love you and must be interested in what you’re going through, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent Jesus for you.

This is why the question “Why are you anxious?” is so important. Beneath your fears and worries are misplaced treasures, kingdoms in conflict, and unbelief in the gospel. No other strategy can get to the bottom of your anxiety.

NOT: (1) thoughtless optimism, a kind of carelessness. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” “Everything’s gonna be alright”; (2) logic and the statistical improbability of such-and-such a thing happening to you; (3) distraction – “You’ve gotta do something to get your mind off it.” (4) plan and scheme with the person to show them that they have things well enough under control; (5) tell them you’ll always be there for them (you won’t).

None of these things are real encouragements because none of them direct us to the gospel. Only Jesus is true treasure. Only Jesus is the true King. Only Jesus is trustworthy.

So then, question #3: Why specifically do you worry? What’s driving the bus for you?

QUESTION #4: What better reason has Jesus given you specifically not to worry?

Is it that your life is bigger than your worries? That you father feed CROWS or puts clothes on WEEDS? That your father knows (and cares about) what you need? Or is it that your loving Father is happy to give you the kingdom?

Some days it will be one of those. Some days it will be a combination. Some days it will be a couple of those. But what specifically are you bringing to bear?

What we need to do for each other is to make the connection of something specific in the gospel to something specific in others’ lives. We miss all the time! We are SO VAGUE. We just throw a verse out at a person! No wonder why people outside the church say that we don’t understand the nature of the human condition. We’re just throwing out a band-aid. You and I live our lives in DETAIL, in HD, so you and I need a gospel sensitive to the details – specific enough to make a difference.

So ask yourself and one another:

What specifically are you worried about?
How are the specific ways?
How specifically is your anxiety expressing itself?
Why specifically are you anxious?
What better reason does Jesus give you specifically not to worry?

And as you do that, remember, above all, this GOOD WORD of JESUS: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Amen.

The Cluttered Past

4 Comments / September 30, 2013 September 30, 2013

Let me first state here that I tend to be a Type A personality to a certain extent. I like my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed. I like a plan and I like life to go according to that plan.

Of course, God has been working on me in this area for a long time. Obviously, life doesn’t always–or even often– go according to plan. Sometimes things in life do not fit into a neat little box.

Take e-mail for instance.

Yes, e-mail.

Being inundated by e-mails is one of those modern-day issues that didn’t exist at all a mere 20 years ago. But now–in 2013–it is how businesses and stores and marketers and charities and, oftentimes, even family and friends communicate with us. That makes for a lot of e-mails.

Let me take you back a few years. Back to the day I decided to sign up for a g-mail account. As the e-mails started pouring in, I would go crazy trying to organize them. I would spend hours deleting, filing, and sorting e-mails.

Of course, the problem was that I would have to do it all over again the next day. The other problem was that I would inevitably delete something I would need weeks or months down the road. I was so frustrated and couldn’t figure out how to make it easier.

And then came the conversation.

I was having a conversation with a young twenty-something about my frustration with this. His response to me was simple: just leave them all there.

The internal dialogue started. What? Leave all of the e-mails in my box, cluttering cyberspace, not to mention my screen?? Why, I could never do that! It goes against all that is within me. It’s not even right.

But his suggestion made my wheels start turning and a day or two later, I started entertaining the idea. What if I did do that? Any e-mail I needed would be available with a quick search. Would it really be that big of a deal to let them just sit there? Perhaps it was a just a head thing that I was bothered by the screen full of e-mails? Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t have much to lose if I put his suggestion into practice for a day or two.

And so I decided to give it a temporary try. I forced myself to put my obsessive compulsion to have a clean inbox aside and let the messages sit there staring at me.

At first, it was hard. But, very gradually, over time, I got used to it. So much so that it became my normal.

Now, years later, I have thousands of messages in my g-mail account. If you e-mailed me last October, it is still there. If you e-mailed me three years ago, it is there. In fact, unless it was definitely junk with zero chance of ever needing to be recalled and therefore deleted, it is there.

And I bet you are thinking so what?

Well, I got to thinking about my life.

A few months ago, because of knee issues, I was told that I will never run again. I was and continue to be disappointed about this. No, I was never a marathon runner or even called myself an “official” runner. But I enjoyed running as a form of exercise. When I ran, I felt free and powerful. And now those days are over.

I have struggled to work through this. The typical thoughts —This isn’t fair! Why me? Now what do I do for exercise? — all raced through my mind.

But, no matter what, this experience is now part of who I am. It is woven into the fabric of my life. I cannot delete it. I cannot go back and edit it. I am now the woman with the arthritic left knee that can no longer run.

I am also the mother of four almost grown children.

I am a woman who has had a miscarriage.

I am the woman who drove a car into a barn (and no, I am not telling that whole story, so don’t ask!)

All of this stuff makes up my past. It is messy. Some of it is embarrassing. Some of it is painful. And some of it is wonderful. But all of it is what makes me who I am.

Sometimes, I just want to clear out my life “in-box” and be given a second chance. A second chance at being a wife (learning to be submissive in marriage has been painful for both me and my husband), a second chance at being a mother (all that yelling and frustration was pointless and hurtful). Even a second chance at being a church member, a co-worker, a daughter. Of course, this isn’t possible.

But I am not the same person I was then. I’ve grown in grace, in spiritual maturity, and in love. Oh, I have a long way to go yet, but, looking back, I can see that there has been some progress. And all of my experiences from my past were used by God to change me.

Instead of viewing the untidy mess of our past as a liability, let’s view it as a blessing. Oh, maybe not what we typically view as a blessing, but a blessing, nevertheless.

For we would not be who we are now, if it weren’t for what we went through then.

If you are a committed Christian, then God has used all of your circumstances to mold you to be more like Jesus.

And, just like my e-mails that sit somewhere in cyberspace, so the moments of our lives take space in the recesses of our mind, molding and making us into the person we have become.

And, while the current e-mails stare at me when I hop on g-mail, the ones written three years ago are hidden way deep in cyber space. I don’t look at them every day. I don’t search for them. Our memories should be a little like that, too. We shouldn’t be wallowing in despair and discouragement and regret over the past (unless there is something unresolved and unforgiven–a topic for another post on a different day).

And, unlike e-mail, our pasts come with baggage. And we have a decision to make. Will it make me a better person or will it make me a bitter person? Will I grow more like Christ from my past experiences or will I grow less like Christ?

That is the question.

If you are reading this right now can you look back and see how God has created beauty from the ashes of your life? Or have you been so wrapped up in despair and self-pity, that you haven’t been able to see any growth or change at all? Only you can answer that question.

The Choice to Trust

Leave a Comment / September 23, 2013 September 23, 2013

There are some stories in life you could not possibly make up. We experienced one of those stories this weekend. It all started with the sighting of a kitten.

It was Saturday morning and my husband had decided to clean the garage that morning. A few minutes after he got started, he walked into the house and announced that we had at least one kitten staying in our garage. A streak of black had rushed by his feet in the midst of moving things around but he couldn’t find it now.

I was more than a little dismayed because A) We have no official cats anymore, B) I was really looking forward to having birds around to feed this year, now that we have no official cat, and C) I’m not a real big cat lover and I knew the inevitable outcome of combining a motherless kitten with the nurturing 14-year-old that resides in our home.

*Sigh*

At any rate, thus began the search for the black kitten that had been spotted. The kids could not find it and at lunch the announcement was made that there was probably at least one more–maybe even more. Oh, great.

The kids enthusiastically renewed their efforts to find the kittens as soon as lunch was over. I cleaned up the lunch dishes and then went to check and see how the hunt was going. I saw my son, my oldest daughter’s boyfriend, and my 14 year old daughter all gathered around the back corner of the garage. Apparently they had found the kitten. But it wasn’t the black kitten. It was a gray kitten.

The poor animal had backed itself way back under the step and the kids were having a very difficult time getting it out. It was hissing and using its sharp claws to defend itself. The little thing was scared to death and had no way of knowing that we were not the enemy.

Finally, my son donned some work gloves and with the combination of a few long-handled tools and the gloves, they were able to pull it out.

At first, it threw a fit, clawing and biting, but surprisingly, it settled down into my son’s arms within a matter of minutes and lay there just as if she was used to people. She was really skinny and rather pathetic-looking but her striking gray eyes and gray fur led me to believe that she had the makings of becoming a very beautiful cat–and for me to say that is something, because I am not a huge cat fan (as already mentioned earlier). The one peculiar thing we noticed was that she did not have a tail.

Our daughter excitedly grabbed our prior cat’s crate and set up a little home for it. She googled kittens so that she could care for it properly and also googled “cats without tails” to try and solve the mystery of this lacking body part. (She came to the conclusion that it must be part manx cat. Who knew??)

As she carted that crate around the rest of the day, she and the other kids would search for the black kitten every so often. It had been last spotted headed up the attic steps in the back of the garage. There is no door to get to the upper level, so it was probably in a hiding spot among our Christmas decorations or boogie boards.

The kids would search but they just couldn’t find it.

After discussing it, we had finally made an educated guess as to how the kittens had come to be in our garage in the first place (although we will not truly ever know). Because we live next to our business with its large shop and various outbuildings, we do have cats around here. They are wild, mangy creatures who help control the mice population and forage in our dumpster. We co-exist peacefully –they keep their distance and we keep ours.

A few months ago, however, a black cat had started showing its face during the day and the office girls had named it Nevin. One day they watched it walk towards our house. It started making this journey several times each day until finally they concluded that Nevin must be a girl (Oops! Oh, well, they weren’t changing its name now!) with a litter of kittens somewhere in the vicinity of our home. And so we had gone searching for them. That had been at least a month ago and we never did find them. Until Saturday. It might be important to note here that Nevin has not been seen for the last few weeks, either, which would explain the kitten’s skinny, starving body.

Okay, now back to our ongoing search for the missing black kitten–

Sunday dawned as a lovely, cool autumn day. After church, Eric searched for the missing kitten once more but with no success. Meanwhile, the little gray one was just eating up all of the attention she was getting and had quietly settled into her {temporary} home.

Around 3pm, my oldest and youngest daughters decided to go on one last search for the missing kitten. I didn’t think too much of it as I sat reading on the sofa.

Until I heard an urgent voice calling my name.

Now what I expected to see was a mangy, sick kitten. I sat unresponsive for a nano-second, gearing myself up to save the kitten for the sake of my girls (wouldn’t be the first time) when, all of a sudden, I heard words I had never expected to hear.

“It hung itself.”

What?!?

“The poor thing hung itself on the volleyball net. It must have gotten so worked up and flustered that it just kept pulling the net tighter and tighter around itself until it choked itself to death.”

I felt sick to my stomach. Even though I am not a great lover of cats, I wouldn’t wish this on any animal. The poor, poor thing. If it would have just come out when we called to it. But instead it had cowered in fear and eventually grew so frightened that its manic, crazy actions had actually caused its own death.

I just couldn’t help but make a comparison. Do you see where I am headed?

Wow. It couldn’t be any clearer. The tiny gray kitten fought and scratched but eventually submitted its will to the girl who truly cared about her. She was able to find food and water and a warm bed, where before she had only known starvation and a cold concrete floor. But it’s tiny sibling was not so fortunate. He had lived a {very} short life of great fear and had ended up sacrificing his own life because of it.

We do the same thing, don’t we?

We don’t trust that God knows better than we do and we stay hunkered down in our corners, on the concrete floor or caught in a net, starving, dying…unwilling to let the God who loves us provide for us a much better life.

And, yet, if like that gray kitten, we would settle down and rest in the will of our Heavenly Father, we would be amazed at the love and joy and peace that would flood our existence.

Why can’t we see it?

Why couldn’t the black kitten see it?

I don’t know. I don’t know why some see and others don’t. That is a question only God can answer.

But what I do know is that submission to God leads to indescribable peace and joy and protection.

The safest place to be is living a life of submission and obedience to God and His Word. We need to trust Him wholly and completely. He knows best.

Tis’ so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His Word

Just to rest upon His promise

Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord”

A Letter to Young Moms

Leave a Comment / September 19, 2013 September 19, 2013

Dear Young Mom–

I know I seem a bit irrelevant and old-fashioned to you. You would probably much rather get your information from colorful parenting magazines or child education specialists. And, honestly, things have changed a lot in this world since my children were small. But, although some things have changed, many others have not. After all, many of the worries, frustrations, joys, and rewards that come with being a mom are timeless.

As I contemplate the struggles you must be having today, I can confidently let you know that I, and many other women like me, truly can understand what you are going through. We remember the sleepless nights, the potty-training frustrations, the cheerios on the floor, and tripping over toys. We remember going over and over math homework or phonics lessons that we just couldn’t get our child to grasp. We remember the loud car rides and the chaos of bedtime. We remember the craziness of getting ready to go to church and the {almost} impossibility of trying to cook a meal or vacuum a floor with a baby on our hips.

Honestly, it seems like a lifetime ago–and yet it seems like yesterday.

A family is a little like a flower arrangement. Stick with me here. I love flowers, so this example came naturally to mind. When you see flowers in an arrangement, they look perfect and beautiful. But, without exception, each of the flowers in that arrangement was grown in dirt. It was most likely sprayed for pests and diseases, and probably pruned. Sometimes I think we expect to have picture perfect families right at the get-go. But the honest truth is that it takes years of hard work to reap the fruit of what you are doing right now as a young mom.

So how do we, to the best of our abilities, end up with a beautiful flower arrangement instead of a wilted and broken mess?

If I could give you one piece of wisdom, drawn from my own experience, it would be make sure and determine your long-term goals for your children right now–while they are babies. You see, if you develop your goals now, then you can eliminate the things that are not moving you towards that goal and foster and grow the things that are.

For me, personally, my goal for my children was simple and was drawn from the words in Mark 12:30-31: And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

I figured if my kids learned to love God and others, then the rest–marriages, education, careers– would fall into place. Of course, I guess, by its very definition, this can’t really be a goal since I cannot control the outcome. But it was my first and most important priority in raising my kids–to teach them the truths of God from the Bible and to try to set a good example so that they would be, first and foremost, servants of God and secondly, that they would selflessly love others. Oh, I wasn’t very good at any of this some days and I have failed (and continue to fail) miserably sometimes. But this was my priority as a mom.

So, once we have set our goals (or priorities may be a better word) in place, how do we remember them in the midst of the daily chaos?

Here are a few helpful tips that I learned along the way–

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Bathroom accidents, muddy hands and feet, magic marker on the piano keys or the walls, locks of hair mistakenly cut off –all of these, when looking back now, are not as big of a deal as I made them. I know that now.

2. Keep your focus off of yourself. Whenever I was down or even angry as a young mom, I would eventually realize that it was often because my focus was on me. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to lose sleep or clean up that mess. Someone wasn’t treating me right. Poor little ole’ me. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. Because life isn’t really about me. It’s about glorifying God (Isaiah 43:7). And, if I am going to keep my priorities in order it is critical that I am not my focus!

As a side note, I want to mention here that, as moms, we are constantly barraged with this message: You deserve a break! You are a mom and you need time to yourself! And while I most definitely believe that is true, I also believe that breaks are to be enjoyed like a cool drink of water in the midst of a marathon. Motherhood isn’t about the cool drink, it’s about the marathon. It is important as moms that we keep our focus on the Lord and our families and not so much on ourselves. Sometimes, looking back, I am appalled at how self-centered I was (still at battle with this in my life…)

3. Find a happy balance in keeping your house. It is important to keep a neat and tidy house. Your husband feels loved and appreciated when you do. A household that is organized is a happier and more peaceful household. However, if your child cowers in fear if he spills his milk or you walk behind your children or husband cleaning up after them, you may not have found a balance in this area.

I will always remember one of the most encouraging things an older woman said to me when she visited my house one day amidst the toys and books and baby cups: “This is how a ‘lived-in’ home should look! I always feel sorry for kids who live in perfect houses because they can’t even be kids!” That made a huge impact on me as a young mom. I realized that it was okay for me not to have a picture-perfect house 24/7 (which was good because at that time I was also finding it impossible!)

We need to let our families “live” in our homes, but we also can’t throw our hands up in the air and stop working at keeping them clean and organized. Sometimes this can be a hard balance to find. I’d like to say this gets better –and it does in some ways–but now, instead of cheerios, I find chip bags, and instead of toys, I trip over size 11 boots, soccer cleats, and flip flops of all shapes and colors!

4. Keep your current priorities carefully. Review your goal(s). If your goal is for your child to be an Olympic gymnast then hours and hours spent at the gym make sense. Otherwise, they do not. But be very careful when setting any goals or priorities and consider the long-term, eternal ramifications of them. Is it really worth skipping church to go to an 8 year old’s sports event? Does that fit in with your long-term goal? Make sure your daily, current priorities match up with your long-term goals.

5. And, finally, don’t give up. Sometimes you probably feel like you just want to throw your hands up in the air and quit. Of course, as moms, we can’t do that. But if you are finding yourself amidst a really stressful, crazy time, see if Dad or Grandma will watch the kids and take one of those needed cool drinks of water. This is what they are for–high stress, difficult stages that come in waves all through life. Take a bath, go out with girlfriends, read a book, or–even better–spend some one-on-one time with God. You will come back refreshed and ready to tackle life head-on again.

I know that I have said this before, but I’ll say it again, anyway: You will blink and your babies will be all grown up. Life goes SO fast.

Spend the next few years loving the babies that have been entrusted to you. Discipline them, care for them, and nurture them. And then let the Master Arranger make a beautiful thing out of your family. He is faithful!

Lovingly,

A Mom Who Has Been There

The Mouse and The Camper

Leave a Comment / September 16, 2013 September 16, 2013

The tell-tale droppings were found in the most horrible of places — the silverware drawer.

“Oh, no, not again!” was my first thought.

It is first important for you to understand that we live in a home surrounded by fields. It is beautiful and I wouldn’t want it any other way, but along with the fields come the mice. The bothersome rodents always seem to find a way into the camper during the winter but this was mid-summer–August, in fact. What were they doing invading my space now? After checking all of their favorite places for evidence, I–once again– pulled everything out to wash and disinfect.

I expressed my frustration to my husband, who decided to set a few traps and put out some poison. I then doused cotton pads with peppermint oil and put them everywhere (supposedly mice hate the smell of peppermint oil).

A few days later, Eric went down to the camper to check his trap. And there it was! The tiny, gray creature that had caused me so much frustration. My husband disposed of it and we figured that was the end of the mice…at least for the summer.

Boy, were we wrong!

A few days later, as Eric pulled out one of the bagged chairs for a picnic, out fell three baby mice. The mouse had built a nest right in one of our chairs. Had we not found them we would have multiplied our mice trouble times three!

The things is, we can’t figure out how or where these annoying pests are entering our camper. They can get through the smallest space, so it is imperative that we seal even the most minuscule place of entry.

When we got this camper last year, my husband assured me that my mice troubles would be over as he was sure this model was sealed up tight, unlike our old one. How frustrating to realize that there is still some small way of entry.

I think we get ourselves into trouble with sin sometimes when we have that philosophy. Our pride leads us to believe that we are locked up tight against sin and we let our guards down.

When we see the tell-tale signs of a short temper or apathy or prayerlessness (to name a few), instead of finding the problem, we just “wash” the outside and keep going on.

But, just like the mice multiply, when we don’t find the sin and eradicate it, it just keeps growing and clean-up becomes messier and harder with each season.

We have to figure out what’s going on. What is causing the symptoms that are showing up in our lives?

Is it–

Greed? A lack of discernment? Anger? Pride? Disobedience? A rebellious heart? Fear? Doubt? Messed up priorities?

You see, until we can figure out the true reason of what’s going on in our lives and confess it and start working on it with the help of the Holy Spirit, we will continue to put out the numerous fires that are started because of it. We will continue to use our human efforts to wipe up the messes we leave behind but never solve the problem that caused the messes in the first place.

And just like we “accidentally” found those baby mice, if we pray with a heart that truly longs to know, then God will show us sin in areas we never even dreamed there was any.

Some of us leave many openings for sin to invade our souls. We have ungodly friends, we pour wretched, sin-filled entertainment into our minds, and we go to places and participate in activities that are full of worldly temptation.

Others of us work really hard to keep ourselves locked up as tight as possible from the sin that can destroy. And we do so by keeping ourselves in God’s Word. We pray. We discern. But we can never rest. Sin is like that mouse–there is almost always a way in. We can never let our guards down.

On our camping trip this past weekend, our camper was mouse-free. We are thankful, but we will not rest. We will continue to give our efforts to keeping our living space free of rodents and other creatures.

We need to give as much (or more) effort to keeping our lives sin-free.

Wednesday Wisdom: A Well in the Wilderness

2 Comments / August 28, 2013 August 28, 2013

I received a bit of bad news regarding my health last week. Oh, it could have been much worse, but it was certainly discouraging to say the least. As I have been processing the ramifications of the news, I shared my discouragement with my sister-in-law. She sent me this. It is written by Susannah Spurgeon, wife of the famous C.H. Spurgeon. After doing a little investigating, I found out that Susannah became an invalid around the age of 33. This is an amazing testimony of faith. May we all have this attitude in the midst of trials.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.”—Deut. xv. 18.

DEAR LORD, I have this morning lighted upon one of the secret springs of sweet waters; an ancient, hidden well in the wilderness, which Thy love, as it were, kept covered up and concealed, till my great need moved Thee to open my eyes to discover it. How precious has Thy thought been to me, Oh Lord! How strengthening and refreshing are these “cold waters to a thirsty soul,” which Thou hast thus made to break forth in a strange place! For I thought I was suffering a hard thing, Lord, in the dealings and discipline which Thou hast seen necessary for me; and, though Thy grace kept me from openly murmuring and complaining, my inner self constantly cried out, “This is hard, Lord, this is very hard.”

But now Thou sayest, “No, My child, it must not even seem hard unto thee. Thy trust in Me should be so perfect, thy faith in My love so strong, thy obedience to My will so complete, that nothing should seem grievous which I appoint, no trial that I send should affright or overwhelm thee. Have I not always been to thee ‘a very present help in trouble’? “Lord, my heart says, “Amen!” to Thy gracious words, and then trusts Thee to work all this loving obedience in me by Thine own mighty power.

“IT shall not seem hard unto thee.” The peculiar trial through which I may now be passing, is the very “it” which must not seem hard to me. God’s bow is never drawn at a venture; He makes no mistakes, either in telling the number of the stars, or in meting out to me the griefs which shall teach me to glorify Him. And, dear reader, if you would find comfort from the words which so comforted me, you must look upon your present trouble, whatever it may be, and say, “Lord, this shall not seem hard to me, for I have received so much bounty and blessing from Thee, I have known so much of Thy pity and pardoning love, that I dare not mistrust Thee, or question for a moment the Divine wisdom of Thy dealings with me.” Ah! our eyes are so dimmed by earth’s fogs and shadows that we cannot see clearly enough to distinguish good from evil and if left to ourselves, might embrace a curse rather than a blessing. Poor purblind mortals that we are, it is well for us that our Master should choose our trials for us, even though to our imperfect vision He seems sometimes to have appointed a hard thing.

III that God blesses turns to good,

While unblest good is ill,

And all is right that seems most wrong,

If it be His sweet will.”

Yes, it is in absolute and loving surrender to the will of the Lord that the secret of true rest and peace is found. This is the alchemy which turns earth’s sorrows into Heaven’s blessings; here is the antidote to every sting, the cure-all of each care, the unfailing remedy for all disquietude. Dear Lord, if I am Thy child, trusting, loving, obeying Thee, how can Thy will for me seem “hard”? Nay, rather, I should joyfully meet and welcome it, well knowing that Thy love to me could only send a message of peace, however dark might be the envelope which enwrapped it.

This comfort cannot apply to troubles which we make for ourselves, and which we sometimes glorify into spiritual hardships, when they are really selfish sins; these are not God’s will for us, but our own perverse way, and they bring nothing better than bitterness and tears. But a God-given burden or sorrow, carried out into the sunshine of His love, and laid at His blessed feet, immediately loses all its “hardness”, and is transformed into a blessing, for which our soul praises the Lord with tender thanksgiving.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.” Ah! dear Master, it must grievously pain Thy loving heart when we, Thine own redeemed ones, think any of Thy dealings with us harsh or stern. Thou hast loved us from everlasting, Thou didst not spare Thine own Son when a ransom was required for our souls, Thou hast led us, and fed us, and cared for us all our life long; can we be so wicked and ungrateful as to deem anything “hard” which Thy wisdom and love appoint?

“It shall not seem hard unto thee” Since this precious text rippled from the pages of God’s Word, like “a brook by the way,” I have been drinking of its waters with great joy! and when a trouble, great or small, oppresses my soul, and causes my heart to faint within me, I take another draught from this sweet spring, and soon am ready to say, ” ‘Tis no longer hard, Lord, for ‘I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.’ ”

Taking advantage of grace

2 Comments / August 19, 2013 August 19, 2013

It was a beautiful day to be at the art show. My eyes took in the creativity around me. There were simple folk-art items and detailed oil paintings. There were homemade handbags and clever metal sculptures. But it was the exquisitely crafted jewelry that caught my eye and drew me into the booths. I am always looking for the “perfect” pair of earrings. I never find them, but I keep looking. It was at just one such booth that I found myself having a pleasant conversation with the artist and her husband. Her work was beautiful but very expensive. I browsed with no intent to buy. I complimented her on her talent. The conversation went something like this–

Me: “Your work is beautiful.”

Artist: “Thank you!”

Man (with friendly smile): “You are welcome to try on any piece.”

Me (laughing): “Oh, my. Thank you but my husband would kill me if I spent that much on a piece of jewelry!” (I was slightly exaggerating with this statement).

Man (half-joking): “Well, you do know it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.”

Me (still laughing but very serious): “Not if you want a happy marriage.”

After a bit more banter, I walked away. But I couldn’t help thinking more on his joke about how to get my own way.

I could have bought a piece of that lovely jewelry. My husband, while he would have been a bit upset with me, would have quickly gotten over it. It would not have destroyed our marriage and probably would not have even destroyed our day. But I love him more than that. I want his permission and his blessing and I seek both before spending a large amount of money. He does the same with me. We do this because we love each other.

As I mulled this conversation over in my mind a few hours later, a light bulb came on in my head.

We do this with God all the time.

We want our own way. And, yet, we know in scripture that what we want is forbidden. We know God has either expressly forbidden the exact action or that He hates the sin that is associated with the particular activity we would like to participate in. But we go ahead and do it, anyway.

Because it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

We can get our own way, be forgiven, and we honestly believe that all is well.

But is it?

If I would have bought that necklace against my husband’s wishes, it would have symbolized that something is not quite right in our relationship. It would have been a sign that I consider my wants and desires more important than his. And I would have been taking advantage of the grace and forgiveness I knew that he would have extended under the circumstances.

This same principle can be applied to our relationship with Christ. When we involve ourselves in sin of any kind on purpose, we are telling Christ that we don’t care about his desires. We are saying that our desires are number one. And we are taking advantage of his grace and forgiveness.

But let’s not forget: True love does not take advantage.

You know, according to the modern church, many things fall under the “gray” area in the Christian life today. Movies, music, dancing, gambling, personal debt, and drinking are some of the many things that fall under the wide, expansive “gray” area that is “permissible for some Christians but not for others.”

But is there actually this big “gray” area or is there simply a church taking advantage of God’s grace? A bunch of people who say they love Christ with their mouths but it never quite reaches their hearts?

I am reminded of something I read the other day–

“It is amazing how clear lifestyle issues–often called gray areas by many believers–become when examined against the commitment to be thoroughly Christ-centered.” (Jim Berg)

Love and commitment truly do bring clarity to these areas of our lives. We either show our love for our Savior with our choices or we don’t. There isn’t much in between.

And if we all are honest with ourselves, we know whether or not the TV show we watched last night or the music that we listened to on the way to work or the book we finished last night was pleasing to God. We know if the words we spoke to our spouse before they left this morning or the way we handled the accidentally spilled juice last night was pleasing to Him. We know if what we ate, drank, and played yesterday was glorifying to God or it wasn’t.

Oh, we will never be sinless and we will constantly be confessing and asking for forgiveness. And God’s marvelous grace is available for those moments. But as we grow in Christ, our desire to willingly do something that we know will not please Him should grow weaker and weaker. Our desire for sin will diminish as our love for Him grows.

Our choices are the evidence of just how close our relationship is with the Savior. But most Christians today are not interested in hearing this. Instead, we want to do our own thing and be forgiven for it. We want to take advantage of grace. When you really stop to think about it, that is a pretty tragic thought.

Yes, it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission but that is not love.