Struggles – Page 19 – Growing 4 Life

The Very Easy Extremely Hard Way to Stand Out

2 Comments / February 17, 2014 February 17, 2014

When we Christians talk about standing out as salt and light in the world, many different things come to mind–

We need to love, for the world hates.

We need to be peacemakers, for the world is full of anger.

We need to love righteousness, for the world loves evil.

We need to be pure, for the world is dirty.

But God has been teaching me that there is another way that we need to stand out to the world around us. May I suggest that one easy {but extremely hard} way to stand out is to–

Rest calmly with a heart of gratitude in God’s sovereignty, for the world complains…and complains…and complains.

What a testimony this is to unbelievers.

And, if we are honest, how rare for Christians to do this.

Well, let me speak for myself. Maybe you have this down, but I certainly do not. For instance, when someone I know well asks me how I am today, it is very normal for me to begin a conversation by mentioning something that is wrong in my life right now. I try to put a positive spin on it, but it is still a thinly veiled complaint and I know it and God knows it.

I am reading through the Bible this year (yes, pleeease hold me accountable! I am determined to finish it! I would so appreciate an e-mail now and again asking me how I am doing!) and I have been very struck by how God handled the Israelites when they complained. In several incidents, the punishment was–get this–DEATH. They were struck down forever via plagues and fire and snakes because of a complaining spirit (Numbers 11:1-3; 21:4-6). Now there were times that they complained that God had mercy (Exodus 15-18) and supplied these whining people with their requests. But the Israelites seemed to make complaining a habit and it is obvious that God took this very seriously.

As I reflect on the seriousness of this sin, I wonder how often I complain without even realizing it? This winter, especially, I think there are many of us who are tired of the snow, tired of the cold, weary with being stuck inside, some of us caring for family members who are sick or perhaps we are fighting illnesses ourselves. If we aren’t careful, we may begin to believe that these kinds of moments in our lives give us the “right” to complain.

But if anyone had a right to complain, it would have been the Israelites. I don’t want to be too hard on them. Here I am in my warm, safe home with lots of variety to eat, modern medicine to help heal and comfort me, and technology to keep me entertained and I still complain. They were wandering in the hot desert and eating only manna and quail. I might have complained, too.

And, so, my conclusion is that we can truly stand out as a Christian if we do not complain. Instead, let us be motivated by a heart of gratitude. For it is impossible to speak a complaint and a thank you in the same breath. Let us be a light in this way to the very dark, incessantly complaining world around us. And, most importantly, let us remember that complaining is a very great offense to our Holy God.

Looking Back and Looking Forward

4 Comments / December 31, 2013 January 1, 2016

As another year draws to a close, I inevitably start looking to the new year. Budgets are again created for our household and business. I come up with personal goals having to do with my health, my home, and my walk with God. I suppose I am not alone in this past time. Many of us use this time to look forward and set goals. And while we don’t always get very far on our goals, budgets, and plans to lose weight, it is very important that we keep trying and working and praying. We can’t just give up.

One of the best starts to next year is first taking a few moments to reflect on last year. And so I decided to ask myself a few questions–

Am I closer to the Lord now than I was last year at this time?

What did I do that matters for eternity this past year?

Do I look more like Jesus right now than I did one year ago? Five years ago? Twenty years ago?

You may think I am a little obsessed with the spiritual side of things and I guess you would be right. As I get older, I can’t help but realize that it is really the only thing — long-term– that matters. And, quite honestly, out of my good spiritual health flows other good things–better relationships, self-control, joy.

But we can never manipulate God. And so it can never be our desire to have good spiritual health so that we can get what we want out of life. There is such a push to fulfill ourselves and find our purpose that we can sometimes forget that our purpose is to glorify God. As a believer, my desire is to please Him, not myself.

This takes me back to my goals for the new year. Am I creating these goals for me? Or do I have pleasing God in mind?

I can honestly say that –while there is an element of selfishness in them — more and more I become acutely aware of the fact that lack of self-control is a sin. And this is the main reason why I don’t stop trying to lose weight, to stick to a budget, and to stop wasting time.

God has given me (and you) some incredible resources. The three I specifically think of are our body, our time, and our money. If we don’t intentionally care for these resources they can be frittered away into nothingness (or in the case of our bodies — be enlarged into a great something!)

And this has been my experience on more occasions than I care to admit. And so I keep setting goals. But I try to set them in light of my spiritual health.

Because I want to serve and honor Jesus in this new year. And I cannot do that if I am lacking self-control in my life.

I know lots of people have given up on setting “New Year’s Resolutions”. But I want to encourage you to take a few minutes today for reflection. The new year is a great time to reflect on the past year and to set hopeful goals for the new year. But let’s set those goals with the Lord in mind. And let’s remember that Jesus is by our side as we fight against the sin and bad habits that so easily beset us, ready to strengthen and help us.

Isaiah 41:10

I Corinthians 10:13

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Psalm 46:1

Candy Crush Madness

2 Comments / December 15, 2013 December 15, 2013

It all started with an innocent question asked by a friend.

“Do you play Candy Crush?”

I don’t like to waste a lot of time playing iPad games, but I do enjoy a half hour in the evening to wind down and I was in need of something new and fresh. I thought I’d check into it.

At first, I sailed through the levels, enjoying the challenge of moving the little candies into rows of three. It reminded me of the original Bejeweled game, which I loved and no longer exists (to my knowledge). And so, about a week ago, Candy Crush became my game of choice.

As I moved up in levels, it became increasingly harder to pass. And if you failed so many times, a message would pop up, telling you that you would have to wait for so many minutes before playing again.

But, lo and behold, this could be avoided by paying for extra lives. Or extra treats to help beat the levels. Only $.99.

Now, I like to play games but I’ll be darned if I am paying anything to beat a level. That seems almost dumber than gambling. At least in gambling there is a slight chance to come away with more than what you put in. Apparently there are plenty of people who do pay, however. A website claims that Candy Crush makers rake in almost a million per day from people who pay to play.

So, if I wasn’t going to pay, how was I going to beat this thing? Well, at first I figured out that if I changed the date on my iPad, I could continue playing. It would fool the game into thinking that my “Life” stash was full again. Great. Now I could just play.

But, alas, I got to a very, very difficult level. I just kept playing and playing the same board, all the while telling myself how utterly ridiculous I was to waste time on this. But, finally, I passed that level and then went onto the next level. I passed that one after only a few tries.

And then I got to one that truly appeared impossible.

I kept playing and playing and the screen, offering the little treats for only $.99 became more and more appealing. Just once wouldn’t hurt, right?

Failed again.

Surely, I can get this. I continued to waste time trying to beat a level that I am still not sure it was even possible to beat without paying anything.

And then I realized something.

I had been fully sucked in. And I decided to escape while I still could. (How in the world would I explain Candy Crush charges to my husband??)

And, so I exited the game, deleted it from my iPad, and chose to move on with a more productive use of my time.

But my time spent on that game showed me one thing.

It showed me just how we get sucked in to sinful habits.

You see, at first it doesn’t cost much. There is a great deal of satisfaction and no payment–

~One cocktail or beer relaxes us and helps with our conversation skills.

~A few minutes looking or listening or thinking about something ungodly doesn’t seem to hurt a thing and gratifies something fleshly inside of us.

~A few minutes at a gaming table is all great fun.

~An evening spent playing video games is a fun evening with friends.

~Eating a pastry that is loaded with calories just melts in your mouth.

That first taste doesn’t cost us anything and the rewards are great. But, if we aren’t careful–if we aren’t self-controlled–we can get caught up in the rewards and we need more and more to yield the same feelings of satisfaction. That is what addiction is and it can happen with almost anything.

I think it is clear that there isn’t any sin in having a drink or a delicious pastry. There is no sin in spending the evening playing video games (if it is a video game that is not dishonoring to God in any way). But if we become compelled to have more and more, we will get caught in a web that becomes almost impossible to escape from.

Self-Control. A highly under-rated character trait that has almost disappeared from our world. I can tell you that it is one that I struggle with daily.

But if we don’t cultivate self-control in our lives–if we aren’t even aware of the battle– we will, at the very least, end up wasting our time on unimportant, trivial things, or, at the worst, end up destroying our family, our health, or our very lives.

And, so it is good-bye to Candy Crush for me. It is so not worth it. Glad I found out before I wasted too many of the few precious hours that make up my life. Now…to apply that same philosophy to a few other areas of my life that need some work!

The Missing Piece

6 Comments / December 8, 2013 December 8, 2013

So I realized something today. One of the reasons I have felt so uninspired in my blog post writing recently is because I have been so worried about offending people. I think I was, unconsiously, trying to gain a bigger readership and found myself avoiding subjects that would cause Christians to squirm. You see, I had become aware of the fact that my most popular posts were/are the “feel good” posts. The posts about God working and providing. The posts about love. The posts about missions and outreach and caring for others.

And don’t get me wrong. Those posts are important. But that is only half of the Christian life. And sometimes we have to hear the hard stuff.

And one of those hard things is something that, seemingly, no Christian wants to even talk about. It’s so much a part of our way of life these days that this has become a non-issue for many believers. And yet it is rendering many of us completely ineffective in our witnesses to the world.

So what is it?

Let me give you a hint: the main river of this flows from Hollywood.

Yep. You guessed it. It is what the world calls “Entertainment”.

The problem here isn’t really what the world is entertained by. Obviously, the world is not living by the same book we are.

No, the great worry for me is that Christians are watching it, enjoying it, and, even worse yet, not seeing anything wrong with it.

How incredibly grieved God must be.

This post is the result of a conversation I had with one of my children regarding a recent gathering she had with her friends. I do not want to give details because it is not my information to offer, but suffice it to say that these kids who are filling their heads with garbage are now starting to live it and see nothing wrong with it.

You think that filling your mind with pictures of adultery and fornication and naked, writhing bodies doesn’t affect you? You think seeing people shoot another human without blinking doesn’t affect you? You think that hearing God’s name in vain and the F-word a thousand times in one film doesn’t affect you?

Well, I think you’re naive.

It does affect you. I know this because of how hardened the hearts of Christians have become to sin, as evidenced by this group of “Christian” young people who have now started acting upon what they see and thinking it is all a big joke.

And my question is WHY? Why is this even a conversation among Christians? Why is the choice to practice discernment in this area so abnormal? Why do Christians get so much flack and criticism from other Christians when they choose to practice purity in this area of their lives?

We know FOR A FACT that God hates all sexual sin (I Corinthians 6:18), violence (Psalm 11:5), coarse and crude language, lying (Colossians 3:6-9), drunkenness, and witchcraft of any type (Galatians 5:19-21).

And, yet, on any given evening, many Christians are watching shows and movies that not only contain these things that grieve the heart of God, but are filled with them.

Oh, some of the plots are good — I’ll give you that. Satan is not stupid. Of course, they have to be good. It helps to draw you in. But is a good plot worth the sacrifice of grieving our heavenly father?

It’s just not.

So, I guess my question is this: How much do we really love God?

Do we love Him enough to sacrifice our favorite TV show?

Do we love Him enough to say no to a movie, even though all of our friends are going?

Do we love Him enough to pass by that very popular video game that is all about violence or that bestseller that is based on the principles of witchcraft?

Does our love run that deep for our Savior?

Yes, true Christianity is about love and caring for the needy. But it’s also about being different. It’s about being a light in a very, very dark world.

Maybe our addiction to worldly entertainment is the thing that has kept us from a close walk with the Lord. Maybe our decision to “join in the fun” drinking, partying, and living it up is what’s keeping our friend from knowing Jesus and having eternal life. Maybe our choice to fill our minds with things that grieve our God is the missing piece of the puzzle that keeps us from peace and joy in the Christian life.

Please, this is too important to ignore or to shrug off. If Satan can render you ineffective he has done his job. Don’t let that happen!

Keep Growing Up

Leave a Comment / November 21, 2013 November 21, 2013

The other day, as we were walking through a botanical garden, Eric pointed out a tree to me. This particular tree was about two or three feet in diameter and had obviously had some kind of terrible thing happen to it, for it was uprooted and the roots stuck out of the ground at one end.

But–for whatever reason– it had kept growing. It almost looked like an elbow or a knee joint, with half of the tree lying horizontally on the ground, but the other half somehow making a ninety degree angle and taking an incredible turn upwards towards the sky.

I don’t think either of us have ever seen anything quite like it (see my photo above). And, once again, we are awed by God’s creation and also its adaptability.

It made me think about humans and how adaptable some of us are. And also about how unadaptable some of us are.

Bad things–hard circumstances–toxic environments–difficult moments happen to us all. None of us are immune. And we have days or months–sometimes years– where we lie there with our roots sticking out all over the place, flat on the ground, catching our breath and trying to heal or maybe just survive.

But we all–just like that tree– should start growing upwards again. We shouldn’t just lie there forever.

Of course, part of that tree will always be lying flat against the ground. It has become part of what it is. It didn’t magically dig its roots back in the soil and lift up its entire trunk upwards. No, instead, very slowly, just a little each year, it started growing upwards.

We need to do that same thing. We can’t eliminate our scars. But we can make sure that we are growing the right direction. It will be a slow process– no doubt about that.

And it is a choice. A choice to think the right thoughts and do the right things. It is a choice to turn away from bitterness and unforgiveness and anger. It is a choice to forgive and to love so that you can start growing in the right direction again. And, most of all, it is the choice to yield our wills and desires to our heavenly Father’s, the One who knows everything.

We will all probably be knocked flat on our back at some time or other. The key is growing back in the right direction.

Impatience Is Not a Virtue

Leave a Comment / October 24, 2013 October 24, 2013

Inevitably, we run into the same problem every spring within our landscaping company. Everyone wants their patios and outdoor fireplaces and retaining walls built immediately. They are excited about the upcoming season and want to put their exciting plans for an outdoor living space in motion as soon as possible.

But here’s the problem: hardscaping is a job that requires skill and education, and so we only have a handful of men qualified in this company to take a job from start to finish. We have divided them into two crews. That means that we can only work on two projects at a time. As we are well-known and trusted in the area, we usually end up with a pretty long waiting list for installs. We try to tell people we are worth the wait, but, occasionally, some of them get impatient and won’t wait. I can understand their frustration. But that frustration can lead to a big mistake.

They call a guy who is just getting started (or an old guy who is starting a new business with a new name for the 5th time!) and hire him. These guys do not generally have a waiting list and can often start jobs immediately. Now, let me preface all of this by saying that a few of these guys are good, honest guys who do quality work to the best of their ability. But that is not the norm. Many of them are uneducated without proper insurance at best and complete shysters at worst.

As my husband always says: If someone can be there right away (or even in two weeks) in the springtime, they are probably not a very quality company.

Ironically, this decision has often ended up causing people great stress and, most times, even more frustration than they started with.

Take, for example, two recent situations where Eric was approached for a price to fix the shoddy work of these types of incompetent contractors. In both cases, the customers are also out quite a bit of money and one is looking at a lawsuit to try and retrieve at least some of it. These are not the first jobs that we have entered midstream because of this reason.

You see, patience sometimes is necessary in order to get a beautiful product that will last for a lifetime. There is so much more to hardscaping than throwing down pavers. There is great care needed in laying the proper base, great importance in using the right materials and tools, and careful precision needed in making the right cuts. Does the person you want to hire have specific training for this job and the proper insurances and equipment? These are critical questions before hiring a contractor.

So why am I writing about this on a devotional blog? Or do you already see the correlation?

We live in a world that wants everything right away. We do not want to wait for anything. And so we make mistakes.

Sometimes they are home-related –like hiring a shyster who can start right away instead of waiting for a respected and trust-worthy contractor.

Sometimes our mistakes are financial –like wasting hundreds of dollars at a casino or on lottery tickets trying to make quick, easy money instead of working hard and investing wisely.

Sometimes these mistakes are made by young singles –like marrying an unbeliever instead of waiting for a godly spouse.

And sometimes they are made as families –like settling for the first, comfortable {and compromising} church we visit rather than carrying out a thorough search for a church that is teaching sound biblical doctrine.

But all of these mistakes are also spiritual. How come?

I guess what I see as a common thread here is self-centeredness driven by feelings. When we aren’t willing to wait on an outcome, even though that outcome would be better and yield much higher dividends and rewards in the long run, then we are operating on feelings. And feelings are just never good things on which to base decisions.

Don’t get me wrong, feelings hold some weight. But when faced with a decision, it is best to look at all of the possible options with all of the possible outcomes. And then, pushing the impatient feelings aside, we make the wisest decision we can with the information we have.

There is no doubt that decision-making can be excruciatingly hard. But we should never base any decision on our feelings of impatience and frustration.

10 Things to Do (Instead of Watching TV)

5 Comments / October 21, 2013 October 21, 2013

Would you believe I let myself –once again– get caught up in a popular TV show? At first, it was excellent. The characters were deep, the dilemmas were real, and the plot, fascinating. The producers did an admirable job showing the real world without delving into the filth. Oh, the filth was there, under the surface, but they did a great job at keeping it real without glorifying or magnifying the reality of the filth.

But then, just like all of the other times I had let myself watch a popular show, I ended up being disappointed. You’d think I’d learn!

Call me crazy, but I actually believe the entertainment industry quite purposefully starts a new series quite benignly. We all get hooked into the plot and then, just when we are all loving the show and quite intrigued with the story line, the series starts to be more explicit and violent and ungodly. What an easy way to harden the hearts and change the morals of an entire society!

But, actually, it is okay with me. Do you know why? Because it is a great reminder that television is just a big waste of time, anyway. Yeah, yeah, I know there are some good educational shows. I get that. But most of us are not watching educational TV. We are watching cop shows, hospital dramas, and inane comedies. We are spending hours watching men play with a ball or throw each other down in rings.

What a waste of our God-given hours!

So, I got to thinking…

In this day and age, when we have become so reliant on our televisions for our evening entertainment–especially during the long winter evenings–what else could we be doing instead?

And I came up with this list. Of course, this list would be different for a home with young kids or an empty nester, but at least it gets us started thinking about turning the box off and turning our brains on.

Here are my 10 things to do instead of watching TV–

1. Play games! Since our kids have started dating, we have revived the game playing in our family. We enjoy lots of different games but here are a few of our favorites: Qwerkle (perhaps our all-time favorite!), Play Nine, Scattergories, CatchPhrase, Apple to Apples, Blokus, and Yahtzee. We like quick games that don’t take a ton of strategy. While we like to think a little, we are not real interested in thinking a lot! ;)

2. Find a new hobby. We live in a country with a million and one opportunities. Sure, we may be limited by our budgets, but even the most limited budgets can afford at least the cable bill per month. Cancel cable and invest that money into a new hobby. Think knitting, crocheting, baking, wood-working, sewing, digital scrap-booking, painting, making jewelry, building models, and photography. Start playing for an indoor sports league or take up strength-training or ice skating.

3. Take a class. Challenge yourself by enrolling in a class. There are affordable classes on just about anything–dance, accounting, computers, cooking, gardening, cake decorating, history, Bible, photography. Think of a subject you’d like to know more about and find a class that could help you learn.

4. Put a puzzle together. I know puzzles are old-fashioned entertainment. I get that. But buy a fun puzzle and start working on it. Watch your kids (no matter their age) come and sit down and start working on it with you. Or they may just sit next to you and start talking. When you are working on a puzzle, you are able to talk and laugh and discuss. It gives great opportunities to build relationships.

5. Organize something you have been meaning to organize for years. Perhaps it is files or photos on your computer. Or maybe it’s a drawer or a cabinet. These things do not take a lot of thought, so they are easy, mindless tasks to do when you are tired at the end of a long day. Put on a great podcast, like Grace to You, and you can learn something while you are working.

6. Read a book. You can probably guess that this is my favorite option. I love to get a nice steaming cup of peppermint tea sweetened with a little turbinado sugar and sit down with a good book. I often bemoan the fact that there are too many books and not enough time. I am usually reading several titles from different genres and will often enjoy reading quietly in the evenings. If you are one of those people that says “I hate to read” then I challenge you to give it a try. Train yourself to read and be amazed at how it changes you. I always love this quote by Dave Ramsey: In five years, you will be the same person except for the people you meet and the books you read.

7. Play an instrument. Perhaps you still have a saxophone or flute hidden away in a closet somewhere. Get it out and dust it off. Or maybe you used to play the piano and now the piano is only used for your kids’ lessons. Sit down and get to know that wonderful instrument once again. Pick up your daughter’s violin or your son’s trumpet and see if you remember anything. And if you’ve never played anything then learn now! We are never too old to stretch our brains and learn something new (and they say that learning new things is a way to keep Alzeimer’s at bay–just saying!)

8. Download a fun app on your iPad or Tablet. It is incredible just how many apps are available, isn’t it? You can edit photos, create photo collages, play games about the Bible, history, science, and geography. You can write a new song or pound out a familiar tune using one of the many music apps. There are apps to help you organize your home and garden and gift-giving. There are apps that will help you learn a new language or how to star gaze. Using your iPad or Tablet makes it so much easier to read online material, as well. Some of my favorite apps are Wonderful Days, FighterVerse, Pocket, Zinio, DuoLingo, PicCollage, Stack Countries, and Life.

Please note: Time spent on the iPad feels the same to your family as watching TV (i.e., you become distracted and uninterested in what’s going on around you), so I have discovered that it is in my family’s best interest to limit this time until after the kids are in bed (or busy elsewhere, in my case) and my husband is working on something else.

9. Do that thing you “never have time for“. Everyone does it. You ask them if they read such and such a book– “Oh, I don’t have time for that.” You ask them if they have kept in touch with so and so– “Oh, we are so busy, I don’t have time for that.” This is probably worthy of a whole post all on its own, but to bottom line it– we all have time for what we want to do. So take a moment and think about the things that you say you don’t have time for and see if any of those can fit into that slot in the evening when you are vegging out in front of the television.

10. Encourage someone. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Write an encouraging letter full of news from home to a missionary. Write a thank you note to your pastor or teacher. Send an e-mail to someone you haven’t seen since last Christmas. Send Get Well cards to the infirm on your church’s prayer list. Visit the elderly man or lady at the home that has no family. Do something nice for someone.

You have just read my “ideas” list for this winter. As I have been pondering this list the last few days, I have become excited about doing something besides watching that box this winter. I have plans to learn a new language, learn to knit (or at least give that one more try!), and write some letters. I hope to organize some pictures and put some Shutterfly albums together. With some perseverance and diligence, I can redeem the long winter evenings instead of waste them.

Anyone care to join me in this goal?

Why Do We Get So Angry?

Leave a Comment / October 15, 2013 October 15, 2013

I can get really angry. Some of the things that make me angry (or at least very irritated) are–

• drivers that go below the speed limit

• being interrupted while I am trying to concentrate

• kids who argue or show disprespect

• leaving the lights on and closet doors open

• twisting the truths of scripture

• not getting my way

Now before you judge or criticize me, stop and think about yourself for a moment. I am guessing that there are a few things that probably make your blood grow a little hot, as well.

Of course, all of us do not express anger the same way. Some of us yell and scream. Others sulk or get very quiet. Still others gossip or slander. Some people (hopefully not any of my readers) express their anger inappropriately by throwing things or hitting and kicking.

But, no matter how it manifests itself, anger is a part of all of our lives.

A sermon I listened to recently clarified the sinfulness of anger. It also made it clear how much I shrug off this sin. I rationalize that everyone gets angry once in awhile. So what? What’s the big deal?

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we have righteous anger, but it doesn’t take much honest introspection to come to the conclusion that most of our anger is about our own personal agenda and has nothing to do with an offense towards the Holy God we love.

In fact, when I started to think about this particular sin in my life, I was mortified at just how important I consider my agenda, my comfort and convenience, my desires, and my stuff.

After all, why would I get so very angry when someone crosses me if they weren’t so important to me?

{And suddenly I remember what I really am—a self-absorbed, pathetic sinner in desperate need of a Savior. For if anything can remind me of the wonder of salvation and the glory of the Gospel it is coming face to face with my own sin.}

So, if I am angry because someone is keeping me from my doing what I want to do or having what I want to have, what exactly does that mean? I believe that it means that something is more important to me than God at that moment. And that means that–at least for that moment– there is an idol in my life.

For example, let’s just say that I want a clean house and so I work hard to have one. An hour later my husband walks through the house with muddy boots. If I grow angry (and I usually do), then I am putting my desire for a clean house before pleasing the Lord with my tongue.

Another example comes to mind. Let’s say I am searching for a pair of earrings and can’t find them. I eventually figure out that one of my daughters borrowed (and lost) them. If I speak angry words in frustration (which is, quite honestly, normally how I respond) than–for that moment–my stuff has become more important than pleasing the Lord.

The sad thing is that this happens to me way, way too often.

You see, most of us like to blame our anger on something or someone else. We talk about our hormones, our misbehaved kids, or our demanding parents. We blame our husbands, our pastors, or our co-workers. They made us angry.

But, if we are honest, we really cannot shift the blame for our anger on to someone (or something) else. In each instance, whether we grow slightly frustrated or absolutely furious, we still hold the responsibility for that anger.

There are better ways to solve problems than anger. In fact, I would go so far as to say, anger compounds the problem rather than solving it. Think about the last time you got angry. Can you think of it? Now think about how you responded. Got it? So my question for you is this: Did your yelling and screaming help or hinder resolution? Did your sulkiness and sullenness bring peace or strife to the situation?

So, in a nutshell, our anger not only shows us that we are selfish to the core but it also hinders our relationships. If that is the case, then what is the right way to respond? And how do we get ourselves to respond in this right way?

Honestly, I am still working on that one. I am pretty certain that it has to do with devaluing and dethroning myself while I make pleasing God my most important priority in all aspects of my life. Some things that would probably help me in this are memorizing scripture, prayer, and having a response plan in place for the inevitable frustrating moments that will come.

What I do know, without a doubt, is that our spouses are more important than our desires, our children are more important than our stuff, and that God is more important than anything else. That leads me to believe that working on this problem of anger isn’t an option, but a necessity if we are going to grow in our faith.

Dodging the Land Mines

2 Comments / October 7, 2013 October 7, 2013

The other night we visited with some friends who had spent many years in a foreign country as missionaries. The husband talked about how dangerous his first few years were when he was there as a single missionary. The nationals had warned him of the deadly land mines and bombs that were still part of their daily existence. They cautioned him to beware of every piece of trash, tiny fragment of plastic, or piece of string on the street, asserting that the smallest thing could be a set-up. He would ride his motorbike trying to avoid anything that lay on the road, knowing that he could be blown to smithereens in a heartbeat.

I believe his experience may be likened to the Christian culture we find ourselves in.

It is like we are on a motorbike and everywhere we turn there is danger. We can never take anything at face value, because there may be something deadly beneath the surface.

For instance, I recently saw a Facebook status of a woman who was asking about “hypnobirthing”. I knew with a prefix like hypno it was probably not a good thing, so I did a little investigating. I found out that it is the process of self-hypnosis while giving birth. Imagine my surprise when all of the comments below her status were by women who were praising this method and even talked about how close to God they felt during the experience.

But wait a minute! Anything to do with hypnosis should be a problem for a Christian. Any type of hypnosis means giving up self control and putting control of your mind into the hands of another person or being. This practice is in direct opposition to Christianity. And yet here were well-meaning Christians promoting something that threatens a healthy walk with God.

They had unknowingly stepped on a spiritual land mine. Spiritual land mines do not kill us outright. No, they are instead like an insidious poison that seeps into our minds, doing great damage to our spiritual walks. And since we do not realize that we have been poisoned, we will, with well-meaning motives and enthusiasm, often infect others.

Here are a few other instances of spiritual landmines–

~A “Christian” book that completely and totally dismantles the gospel, piece by piece, that I see in the hands of a Christian friend.

~A suggestion to my daughter that she read a book that destroys the image of God as set forth in scripture, also labeled as a “Christian” book.

~Songs that are on the playlist on my Christian radio station that promote anti-biblical, new age themes.

~Statuses of sincere Christians, quoting mystics and false teachers, unaware that these people they admire have tainted and twisted the gospel beyond repair.

~Revered pastors and teachers using a version of the Bible that changes the meaning of entire passages of scripture.

If you are a genuine believer at this moment in time, then you and I are in this dangerous, deadly field of spiritual land mines together. There is no place that is safe, no place we can run and hide. While there may still be a few churches and ministries unaffected by false teaching they become rarer and rarer each day. We have to take every step carefully, always being aware of what we are reading, who we are listening to, and the preachers and authors we are promoting.

We have to be willing to turn away from something that looks promising or exciting or deeply spiritual, if it goes against what is taught in God’s Word.

Of course, as I have said maybe a million times before on this blog, we can only do so if we know God’s Word. We need to keep ourselves immersed in the Bible, studying and memorizing it.

We are in a spiritual war and the battle is growing more intense by the day. We can put our heads in the sand if we want to, but to do so not only puts our own spiritual health in danger, but also the spiritual lives of our families and friends.

Oh, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, we are in a very dangerous era. Worldly Christians will tell you otherwise, but don’t you believe them. We are walking through the land of spiritual landmines. We are not friends with this world. We are on a narrow path. And we are hated. But take heart! This world is not our home! The best is yet to come!

Meanwhile, let’s keep our eyes wide open and take our spiritual steps very cautiously. I Thessalonians 5:21 says it best: Test everything. Hold fast what is good.

Wednesday Wisdom: Six Reasons Not to Worry

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2013 October 2, 2013

This world is crazy, isn’t it? It is changing rapidly and it’s a little scary. Yesterday the government shut down. Our “normal” seems to hang in the balance, tossed about in the hands of a socialist leader. Meanwhile, we hear of other bad news, constantly bombarded with stories of violence and diseases and accidents, affecting strangers, as well as those we love dearly. We are constantly confronted with this fact: I control nothing in my life. This can cause some of us to worry. I heard this sermon yesterday and it seemed especially appropriate in light of the current climate of our country. I found it very helpful and I hope you will, too. It is based on Luke 12:22-34 and is by R.W. Glenn, pastor of Redeemer Bible Church. It’s fairly long, but please read through to the end, as he asks four questions that really get to the heart of why we worry.

The world is a dangerous place. Lots of things can happen. The present economy being what it is, you could lose your job. You could be mugged or raped. Your spouse could commit adultery. Or he or she could suddenly abandon you. Your teenage son could repudiate the faith. Your parents could die in a car accident. You could suffer a debilitating injury. You could contract a fatal illness. Your house could burn down. You could lose your life’s savings in bad investments.

And even less significant things could happen. Your car could fail to start. You could fail an exam. You could sprain your ankle. Your colleagues could misunderstand you. Your friend could break your favorite toy. Life is full of risks.

Along with the potential dangers, there are simply lots of things that need to get done. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and households to manage. There are quotas to meet and sales to close. There are meetings to give, budgets to meet, and moves to make. There are church, family, work, and personal responsibilities. There are vacations and weddings and socials and all manner of events to plan. There are sermons to prepare and Sunday school lessons to arrange. There is so much to do, and it seems, so little time in which to accomplish it.

And according to the ADAA, the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, an estimated 19 million adult Americans suffer from what they call anxiety disorders, including…

Generalized anxiety disorder
Agoraphobia
Social phobia
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Sexual aversion disorder
Sleep terror disorder
Avoidant personality
Persecutory delusions
Panic disorder
Paranoid schizophrenia
Other specific phobias
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Nightmare disorder
Paranoid personality
Separation anxiety disorder2

And in the background of these clinical diagnoses are quietly running (or not so quietly) all kinds of fears…

Fears for your safety and the safety of those you love.
Fears about how you will die: a progressively debilitating disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, being alone, being penniless.
Fears about what happens after death: being forgotten, being maligned, being judged, being extinct.
Fears about living a meaningless life.
Fears about being unloved or alone.
Fears about being in love and the high probability of being hurt.
Fears about what you might lose: your figure, boyfriend, girlfriend, hair, youth, mind, money, job, spouse, health, hobbies, purpose, faith.3

The point here is that anxiety is commonplace; Jesus assumes it and tells us that there are lots of reasons to worry. But then he heaps up six better reasons NOT to.

REASON #1: Your life is bigger than your worries – v. 23.

For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.

This is what happens when you’re anxious: you blow up your worry out of proportion to its size. And it becomes so big that it crowds out and takes over your life. It becomes the thing you think about all the time:

Your relational worries
Your work performance worries
Your personal appearance worries
Your financial worries

What you worry about becomes the center of your life, but here Jesus reminds us of a truth we can take to the bank: YOU WERE MADE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT.

“BUT,” you say, “I thought you just said that Jesus’ original audience wasn’t worrying about TRIVIA; their worries were a matter of life and death. So how is “your life is bigger than your worries” supposed to comfort me when I’m worrying about a life-and-death issue?”

TWO THINGS:

Jesus is talking about anything and everything you might worry about. By addressing life-and-death issues he’s including all the lesser worries leading up to it.
When Jesus says that your life is bigger than your life-and-death worries, he’s saying something more than “In the grand scheme of things, your worry is not that big a deal.” INSTEAD, he’s saying a Christian’s life doesn’t end with this life. The timeline of your life extends BEYOND death to RESURRECTION life – the time when everything sad becomes untrue.

SO, “your life is bigger than your worries” is meant to remind you that your life is WAY BIGGER than even your life-and-death worries. After this life, you’ve got eternity to go!

So, reason #1 not to worry: Your life is bigger than your worries.

REASON #2: The Lord takes care of CROWS – v 24.

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!

Crows are scavengers, the garbage men of the bird world, UNCLEAN birds according to the OT law – and yet God takes care of them. How much more are YOU.

REASON #3: Worrying accomplishes NOTHING – vv 25-26.

25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?

This is just a simple, logical reason. Do you ever really help your situation by worrying about it? No, of course not.

REASON #4: God puts clothes on the WEEDS – vv 27-28.

27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

This is similar logic to the logic of the crows: if he feeds crows, he’ll certainly take care of you. Only Jesus does one better. And you’re going to LOVE how David Powlison explains it…

This promise is far more than “God will take care of you.” This is “God will clothe you in nothing less than His radiant glory!” I promise you. “So why do you worry about the clothes you wear? I’ll dress you in My own glory! Why do you worry about your health? I’ll raise you from the dead to eternal life. Why do you worry about a few dollars? I’ll give you the whole earth as your inheritance. Why do you worry when someone doesn’t like you? I’ll make you live in the kingdom of My love!”4

So reason #4 – God clothes the WEEDS, and is going to clothe you with GLORY. So why worry.

REASON #5: Your loving father KNOWS what you need – v 30.

For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.

And when your dad happens to be the ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, SOVEREIGN GOD – you’re in good hands, aren’t you! And to say that he knows what you need means that he cares.

REASON #6: This is the most significant reason of ALL because “Jesus makes it as personal, intimate, and generous as possible.”5 YOUR LOVING FATHER IS HAPPY TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM – v 32.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

Let’s break that down:

“Fear not” – It’s a comfort command. It’s a command, so worry is a sin; but more than that, Jesus is saying you don’t have to worry.

“Little flock” – The shepherd of a little flock knows every sheep by name – EVERY DETAIL. He knows your situation. How you feel. What you’re facing.

“Your Father’s” – This is your dad we’re talking about. If yours was terrible, invert his terribleness and multiply it by infinity! If yours was great, skip the inversion, and STILL multiply it by infinity!

“good pleasure” – You don’t have to twist your father’s arm AT ALL. He’s full ofgenerosity toward you. It’s the same word that Luke uses earlier in Ch 3 (the only other time in the Gospel of Luke this used) to describe the Father’s pleasure with Jesus.

“to give you” – This gift-giving language. The language of GRACE. He doesn’t pay you the kingdom. He gives it to you as a GIFT.

“the kingdom” – The kingdom is both a present and future reality. In the future, the kingdom is God’s RULE when everything sad becomes untrue. When everything is set right in the world. When you can finally EXHALE and REST. Nothing left to fear. ALL the monsters have been destroyed.

In the present, receiving the kingdom means experiencing something of that rest in the here and now. Your dad is the most powerful person in the universe and he has nothing but love for you. So he’s going to give you his peace and joy and rest TODAY. How do we know that? He’s given you the King – King Jesus! How will he not with King Jesus freely give you EVERYTHING – that peace, that rest?

So then, six reasons – better than your reasons to worry – six reasons NOT to worry:

Your life is bigger than your worries.
God feeds CROWS.
Worrying accomplishes nothing!
Your loving father knows what you need.
God puts clothes on WEEDS.
Your loving father is happy to give you the kingdom.

Those are some good reasons!

STILL, as encouraged as you may be right now, you may be wondering how it is that Jesus’ teaching on anxiety is better than what you can find outside the church (the case we’re making in this series).

Well, to address that, I want to walk you through four questions – questions to ask yourself and especially others – that I hope will help you see how RELEVANT Jesus’ teaching really is.

QUESTION #1: What specifically do you worry about?

This can be extremely helpful because when you are really anxious it seems like there are a million things going on inside you. “Anxieties feel endless and infinite – but they are [actually] finite and specific.”6

So what is it for you? Talk it over with a friend to help you identify it. The act of naming what it is will be massively helpful to you.

QUESTION #2: How specifically do you express your anxiety?

Is it feelings of panic?
Is it tightness in your throat?
Is it through your dreams?
Is it repetitive/obsessive thoughts?
Is it anger (that’s a big one)?
Is it depression (another big one)?
Is it binging on Ben & Jerry’s?
Is it taking the edge off with a few martinis?
Is it cleaning your house?
Is it headaches?
Is it planning/strategizing?
Is it through superstitions?

This is a helpful question because it will ALERT you to the fact that anxiety is driving you at that moment.

So, question #2: How do you specifically express your anxiety? What does it look like when you’re worried? How do you behave?

QUESTION #3: This is the KEY QUESTION because it not only allows you to move beyond the anxiety to what motivates it, but it is the key question also because it shows why Jesus is the TRUE ANSWER to our struggles with worry (a better prescription than anything or anyone out there.) Question #3 is: WHY are you anxious?

Here in our passage Jesus gives three underlying reasons – all of which I’m sure will resonate with your own experience.

1. Anxiety is a TREASURE issue – v 34.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Worry is what happens when what you value is threatened. Do you know what it is you value? You value what you worry about and you worry about what you value. I’ll say that again: you value what you worry about and you worry when what you value is threatened.

So if you want to find out what you really value, what makes you tick, what you’re ten fingers and ten toes are committed to, look to what makes you anxious. Fear is an inverted desire. If I’m afraid of being seen as an idiot, then I value being seen as intelligent. If I’m afraid of my job’s insecurity, then I value job security. And on and on. The point is that if you want to find out what you really value, identify what you worry about. You value what you worry about.

But you also worry when what you value is threatened. If I value my children’s welfare, then I worry when they are in danger. If I value my livelihood, then I worry when there are company layoffs. If I value my reputation, then I worry when people think ill of me. Again, we could go on and on. The point here is that you worry when what you value is threatened.

Now because Jesus is the only thing TRULY and ULTIMATELY worth valuing, and because he is completely unassailable, if you value Jesus Christ, can anyone take Jesus Christ from you? No. That’s what Jesus is talking about when he says look, money is a good way of seeing what you value – v 33.

Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.

It’s unassailable. Your anxiety is a treasure issue – it’s about what you VALUE. And because deep down you know that any treasure other than Jesus Christ is weak, powerless, failing and futile, OF COURSE you’re worried.

Anxiety isn’t just a treasure issue.

2. Anxiety is a KINGDOM issue – v 31.

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

There are two kingdoms at war in every human being’s life – the kingdom of SELF and the kingdom of God. They are kingdoms in conflict.

If you could live perfectly for the right kingdom – the one ruled by King Jesus – you wouldn’t worry at all, ever because you know he’s got your life in his hands and promises ONLY to do good to you.

The worry comes because you are afraid that your will won’t be done, that you won’t get what you think you deserve. You’re afraid that somehow my project of building my own kingdom about me is threatened. So you worry…

“Do I have any real friends?”
“What if I don’t make the team? What if I forget my lines in the play? What if someone else gets picked for that committee?”
“Will I ever find a husband or wife?”
“If I do find one, will he or she be faithful to me?”
“Will I be able to have kids?”
“If I have kids, how will they turn out?”
“What about my health? Some of my friends are dying of cancer. It’s painful. Is that going to be for me? Will I be able to have the strength to go through that? What if I get Alzheimer’s? The thought of ending my life not even able to recognize the people I love: what about that?”

On and on and on, your health, your money, your relationships, your achievements.7

But in the END, it’s all about ME – my wants, my needs, my desires. Worry is focused INWARD. It is self-protective and self-reliant. It chooses kingdom of self over the kingdom of God. This is why Jesus is the only answer to worry – you need a new king. Only Jesus is a king sufficient to take away your worries.

SO anxiety is a KINGDOM issue.

3. Jesus says anxiety is a FAITH issue – v 28.

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

As Calvin has said, “Unbelief is the mother of every anxiety.” People who worry do not trust the true and living God. And in the absence of trusting God, we trust false gods. And, of course, this SHOULD make us anxious. Our false gods are powerless to help us when things go rough…because they’re not real. They are the figment of our imagination.

Oh, most of us don’t make dashboard idols that we give fruit and meats to – but we are idolaters nonetheless. The prophet Ezekiel talks about idols of the heart – the things we live for and long for – the things we seek above God – power, fame, sex, money, approval, intelligence, comfort, security – whatever.

Now whatever we live for other than God will only do two things: lower the boom or raise the bar (I owe this language to my friend Dick Kaufmann). If you fail to live up to the standard of your idol of choice, they lower the boom – make you feel terribly guilty so you’re always trying to live up to the standard your idol sets for you from fear of it lowering the boom. So you’re anxious!

On the other hand, if you DO live up to the standard of your idol, if you get what you crave, it only raises the bar. It says, “Not good enough. You need more.” And so you’re anxious, too, only this time, you’re not afraid as much you’re insecure. “Did I do enough?” When is enough, enough?”

But, of course, your idol of choice is simply yourself. We love to trust ourselves. And whenever you trust yourself, you cannot trust God at the same time. The moment your faith shifts from God to self, your faith in God lessens. It’s just the way it works. So when you worry, you are transferring your faith from God to self, and essentially telling God that you can run the universe better than he can, so you’ll take it from here!

No wonder you’re worried! Running the universe, with all its contingencies, is a BIG JOB.

But if you remember what Christ has done for you, if you trust that your Father’s good pleasure is to give you the kingdom, if you believe that you are valuable to God, then your worries begin to evaporate.

Anxiety is a FAITH issue. Trusting yourself is loaded with uncertainty and insecurity. Trusting God you can take to the BANK because he’s proved himself at the cross. He must love you and must be interested in what you’re going through, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent Jesus for you.

This is why the question “Why are you anxious?” is so important. Beneath your fears and worries are misplaced treasures, kingdoms in conflict, and unbelief in the gospel. No other strategy can get to the bottom of your anxiety.

NOT: (1) thoughtless optimism, a kind of carelessness. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” “Everything’s gonna be alright”; (2) logic and the statistical improbability of such-and-such a thing happening to you; (3) distraction – “You’ve gotta do something to get your mind off it.” (4) plan and scheme with the person to show them that they have things well enough under control; (5) tell them you’ll always be there for them (you won’t).

None of these things are real encouragements because none of them direct us to the gospel. Only Jesus is true treasure. Only Jesus is the true King. Only Jesus is trustworthy.

So then, question #3: Why specifically do you worry? What’s driving the bus for you?

QUESTION #4: What better reason has Jesus given you specifically not to worry?

Is it that your life is bigger than your worries? That you father feed CROWS or puts clothes on WEEDS? That your father knows (and cares about) what you need? Or is it that your loving Father is happy to give you the kingdom?

Some days it will be one of those. Some days it will be a combination. Some days it will be a couple of those. But what specifically are you bringing to bear?

What we need to do for each other is to make the connection of something specific in the gospel to something specific in others’ lives. We miss all the time! We are SO VAGUE. We just throw a verse out at a person! No wonder why people outside the church say that we don’t understand the nature of the human condition. We’re just throwing out a band-aid. You and I live our lives in DETAIL, in HD, so you and I need a gospel sensitive to the details – specific enough to make a difference.

So ask yourself and one another:

What specifically are you worried about?
How are the specific ways?
How specifically is your anxiety expressing itself?
Why specifically are you anxious?
What better reason does Jesus give you specifically not to worry?

And as you do that, remember, above all, this GOOD WORD of JESUS: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Amen.