Life – Page 29 – Growing 4 Life

The Story Behind the Trip

1 Comment / October 28, 2013 October 28, 2013

I am headed on a mission trip to Costa Rica in a few days. There, I will be serving orphans and widows, alongside two of my daughters, my sister-in-law, my niece, and a family friend. We will be part of a larger team that is made up of around eighteen people.

As you may remember, I went to Guatemala last November with one of my daughters. I had no plans for taking a mission trip this year whatsoever. While I love going on them, my husband and I already had a special anniversary trip planned in the month of November. However, God had a different plan.

So how did I end up going on this trip? I thought I would share the story here, as it is rather interesting. Let me begin–

Once upon a time, there were two cousins who wanted to do something for Jesus. With some counsel from their parents, they decided to raise money for Bibles. The thinking was that anyone–Christian or not–sees the need for clean drinking water, food, and clothing, but only a genuine believer sees the eternal value of God’s Word. And so that was decided. But how to raise the money?

After some more brain-storming, they decided to make bottlecap necklaces, key chains, and magnets. They decided on the name Hearts 4 the World for their charity. They raised several hundred dollars and bought their first Bibles in the language of Creole and sent them to Haiti. They continue this charity even now and you can find their website here.

And then Adventures in Odyssey (a part of Focus on the Family) announced a contest for their “Ambassador of the Year”. The winner would be determined by a video they entered, telling of their service to their family, community, and world. The girls excitedly talked about their bottlecap charity and how they could talk about that in their entry video. But there was a hitch: only one person per entry.

The two cousins talked and came up with a solution. One was a much bigger Adventures in Odyssey fan than the other. She could enter the contest and the other cousin, quite gifted at creating videos, would create and produce the video.

Us moms gave tolerant smiles as we watched them grow excited about this contest, trying to reign in their excitement just a bit, because, after all, their chances of winning were slim to none!

The day they were announcing the finalists came and went. We were actually spending the weekend with this family and the girls were anxiously awaiting news. When none came, they grew a bit down-hearted. And then the following morning, the e-mail came. We are considering your daughter for our top 24. We would like to call you.

A couple of days later, I found out that they had definitely made the top 24, if we could agree to the contest conditions and had a parent who could go along on the mission trip that was the prize. I had a moment of panic, as I realized our anniversary trip was scheduled for the same month, but was glad to find out that I would actually have five days in between, should she actually win this thing.

And then they posted the videos and the voting began. Suddenly, it was in our hands to get the message out to vote! I am sure I drove more than a few people crazy with my constant reminders to vote, but I knew just how important the contest was to my daughter and I was certainly going to do my part.

This lasted for fifteen days. And they had said they would announce the winner the following week.

Imagine my surprise, when on Monday around lunchtime, I received a phone call from Focus on the Family letting us know that our daughter had won! (see here for the official announcement.)

I was shocked, because, quite honestly, we are not really “contest winners” around here. We work for what we get and have very few free things thrown our way (not complaining, just stating the facts). You know how some people seem to have the Midas touch when it comes to winning things–always winning the big door prizes and the trip contests? Well, that isn’t us.

At any rate, that was when I realized that we were going to Costa Rica. After we found out the details, we made the decision to pay for our oldest daughter to join us (our other daughter is in college and, unfortunately, cannot join us). And then my sister-in-law and her husband made the decision to give this trip to their daughter as a birthday gift, since she was so instrumental in helping to win the contest.

And that is how we all ended up on this trip.

There is no spiritual lesson or deep truth here. Just a story that I thought you may enjoy. Thanks for reading!

p.s. With all of my upcoming travel these next few weeks, my posts may be a bit more sporadic than usual, but I will post as I can :)

Impatience Is Not a Virtue

Leave a Comment / October 24, 2013 October 24, 2013

Inevitably, we run into the same problem every spring within our landscaping company. Everyone wants their patios and outdoor fireplaces and retaining walls built immediately. They are excited about the upcoming season and want to put their exciting plans for an outdoor living space in motion as soon as possible.

But here’s the problem: hardscaping is a job that requires skill and education, and so we only have a handful of men qualified in this company to take a job from start to finish. We have divided them into two crews. That means that we can only work on two projects at a time. As we are well-known and trusted in the area, we usually end up with a pretty long waiting list for installs. We try to tell people we are worth the wait, but, occasionally, some of them get impatient and won’t wait. I can understand their frustration. But that frustration can lead to a big mistake.

They call a guy who is just getting started (or an old guy who is starting a new business with a new name for the 5th time!) and hire him. These guys do not generally have a waiting list and can often start jobs immediately. Now, let me preface all of this by saying that a few of these guys are good, honest guys who do quality work to the best of their ability. But that is not the norm. Many of them are uneducated without proper insurance at best and complete shysters at worst.

As my husband always says: If someone can be there right away (or even in two weeks) in the springtime, they are probably not a very quality company.

Ironically, this decision has often ended up causing people great stress and, most times, even more frustration than they started with.

Take, for example, two recent situations where Eric was approached for a price to fix the shoddy work of these types of incompetent contractors. In both cases, the customers are also out quite a bit of money and one is looking at a lawsuit to try and retrieve at least some of it. These are not the first jobs that we have entered midstream because of this reason.

You see, patience sometimes is necessary in order to get a beautiful product that will last for a lifetime. There is so much more to hardscaping than throwing down pavers. There is great care needed in laying the proper base, great importance in using the right materials and tools, and careful precision needed in making the right cuts. Does the person you want to hire have specific training for this job and the proper insurances and equipment? These are critical questions before hiring a contractor.

So why am I writing about this on a devotional blog? Or do you already see the correlation?

We live in a world that wants everything right away. We do not want to wait for anything. And so we make mistakes.

Sometimes they are home-related –like hiring a shyster who can start right away instead of waiting for a respected and trust-worthy contractor.

Sometimes our mistakes are financial –like wasting hundreds of dollars at a casino or on lottery tickets trying to make quick, easy money instead of working hard and investing wisely.

Sometimes these mistakes are made by young singles –like marrying an unbeliever instead of waiting for a godly spouse.

And sometimes they are made as families –like settling for the first, comfortable {and compromising} church we visit rather than carrying out a thorough search for a church that is teaching sound biblical doctrine.

But all of these mistakes are also spiritual. How come?

I guess what I see as a common thread here is self-centeredness driven by feelings. When we aren’t willing to wait on an outcome, even though that outcome would be better and yield much higher dividends and rewards in the long run, then we are operating on feelings. And feelings are just never good things on which to base decisions.

Don’t get me wrong, feelings hold some weight. But when faced with a decision, it is best to look at all of the possible options with all of the possible outcomes. And then, pushing the impatient feelings aside, we make the wisest decision we can with the information we have.

There is no doubt that decision-making can be excruciatingly hard. But we should never base any decision on our feelings of impatience and frustration.

10 Things to Do (Instead of Watching TV)

5 Comments / October 21, 2013 October 21, 2013

Would you believe I let myself –once again– get caught up in a popular TV show? At first, it was excellent. The characters were deep, the dilemmas were real, and the plot, fascinating. The producers did an admirable job showing the real world without delving into the filth. Oh, the filth was there, under the surface, but they did a great job at keeping it real without glorifying or magnifying the reality of the filth.

But then, just like all of the other times I had let myself watch a popular show, I ended up being disappointed. You’d think I’d learn!

Call me crazy, but I actually believe the entertainment industry quite purposefully starts a new series quite benignly. We all get hooked into the plot and then, just when we are all loving the show and quite intrigued with the story line, the series starts to be more explicit and violent and ungodly. What an easy way to harden the hearts and change the morals of an entire society!

But, actually, it is okay with me. Do you know why? Because it is a great reminder that television is just a big waste of time, anyway. Yeah, yeah, I know there are some good educational shows. I get that. But most of us are not watching educational TV. We are watching cop shows, hospital dramas, and inane comedies. We are spending hours watching men play with a ball or throw each other down in rings.

What a waste of our God-given hours!

So, I got to thinking…

In this day and age, when we have become so reliant on our televisions for our evening entertainment–especially during the long winter evenings–what else could we be doing instead?

And I came up with this list. Of course, this list would be different for a home with young kids or an empty nester, but at least it gets us started thinking about turning the box off and turning our brains on.

Here are my 10 things to do instead of watching TV–

1. Play games! Since our kids have started dating, we have revived the game playing in our family. We enjoy lots of different games but here are a few of our favorites: Qwerkle (perhaps our all-time favorite!), Play Nine, Scattergories, CatchPhrase, Apple to Apples, Blokus, and Yahtzee. We like quick games that don’t take a ton of strategy. While we like to think a little, we are not real interested in thinking a lot! ;)

2. Find a new hobby. We live in a country with a million and one opportunities. Sure, we may be limited by our budgets, but even the most limited budgets can afford at least the cable bill per month. Cancel cable and invest that money into a new hobby. Think knitting, crocheting, baking, wood-working, sewing, digital scrap-booking, painting, making jewelry, building models, and photography. Start playing for an indoor sports league or take up strength-training or ice skating.

3. Take a class. Challenge yourself by enrolling in a class. There are affordable classes on just about anything–dance, accounting, computers, cooking, gardening, cake decorating, history, Bible, photography. Think of a subject you’d like to know more about and find a class that could help you learn.

4. Put a puzzle together. I know puzzles are old-fashioned entertainment. I get that. But buy a fun puzzle and start working on it. Watch your kids (no matter their age) come and sit down and start working on it with you. Or they may just sit next to you and start talking. When you are working on a puzzle, you are able to talk and laugh and discuss. It gives great opportunities to build relationships.

5. Organize something you have been meaning to organize for years. Perhaps it is files or photos on your computer. Or maybe it’s a drawer or a cabinet. These things do not take a lot of thought, so they are easy, mindless tasks to do when you are tired at the end of a long day. Put on a great podcast, like Grace to You, and you can learn something while you are working.

6. Read a book. You can probably guess that this is my favorite option. I love to get a nice steaming cup of peppermint tea sweetened with a little turbinado sugar and sit down with a good book. I often bemoan the fact that there are too many books and not enough time. I am usually reading several titles from different genres and will often enjoy reading quietly in the evenings. If you are one of those people that says “I hate to read” then I challenge you to give it a try. Train yourself to read and be amazed at how it changes you. I always love this quote by Dave Ramsey: In five years, you will be the same person except for the people you meet and the books you read.

7. Play an instrument. Perhaps you still have a saxophone or flute hidden away in a closet somewhere. Get it out and dust it off. Or maybe you used to play the piano and now the piano is only used for your kids’ lessons. Sit down and get to know that wonderful instrument once again. Pick up your daughter’s violin or your son’s trumpet and see if you remember anything. And if you’ve never played anything then learn now! We are never too old to stretch our brains and learn something new (and they say that learning new things is a way to keep Alzeimer’s at bay–just saying!)

8. Download a fun app on your iPad or Tablet. It is incredible just how many apps are available, isn’t it? You can edit photos, create photo collages, play games about the Bible, history, science, and geography. You can write a new song or pound out a familiar tune using one of the many music apps. There are apps to help you organize your home and garden and gift-giving. There are apps that will help you learn a new language or how to star gaze. Using your iPad or Tablet makes it so much easier to read online material, as well. Some of my favorite apps are Wonderful Days, FighterVerse, Pocket, Zinio, DuoLingo, PicCollage, Stack Countries, and Life.

Please note: Time spent on the iPad feels the same to your family as watching TV (i.e., you become distracted and uninterested in what’s going on around you), so I have discovered that it is in my family’s best interest to limit this time until after the kids are in bed (or busy elsewhere, in my case) and my husband is working on something else.

9. Do that thing you “never have time for“. Everyone does it. You ask them if they read such and such a book– “Oh, I don’t have time for that.” You ask them if they have kept in touch with so and so– “Oh, we are so busy, I don’t have time for that.” This is probably worthy of a whole post all on its own, but to bottom line it– we all have time for what we want to do. So take a moment and think about the things that you say you don’t have time for and see if any of those can fit into that slot in the evening when you are vegging out in front of the television.

10. Encourage someone. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Write an encouraging letter full of news from home to a missionary. Write a thank you note to your pastor or teacher. Send an e-mail to someone you haven’t seen since last Christmas. Send Get Well cards to the infirm on your church’s prayer list. Visit the elderly man or lady at the home that has no family. Do something nice for someone.

You have just read my “ideas” list for this winter. As I have been pondering this list the last few days, I have become excited about doing something besides watching that box this winter. I have plans to learn a new language, learn to knit (or at least give that one more try!), and write some letters. I hope to organize some pictures and put some Shutterfly albums together. With some perseverance and diligence, I can redeem the long winter evenings instead of waste them.

Anyone care to join me in this goal?

Holy What??

7 Comments / October 17, 2013 October 17, 2013

Holy _____________. You fill in the blank.

Yes, this word can be followed by Spirit or Bible or God. But, most often, it is followed by crap (or crap’s crude counterpart) or cow or some other meaningless word. I hear this ALL. THE. TIME. I hear friends and family explode with these terms in surprise. I hear people I consider very godly use these terms. I even heard a pastor on the radio use one of these terms in a sermon.

For some reason I cannot fathom, Christians think this is perfectly okay to say.

So…why do I think it’s not okay? (And, trust me, I am well aware that I am probably the only Christian on the planet who finds offense when this is said.) But here’s why I believe these are terms better left unsaid–

A. The meaning of the word holy is is almost exclusively religious outside of it’s crude expression. There is no meaning apart from its sacred definition. While it doesn’t explicitly apply to Christianity, it does always have a religious meaning. It is most often applied to the Christian God and used in the Christian religion.

Find the definition for HOLY here. You will notice that only the 7th –7th!– definition has nothing specifically to do with God or religion. So when we speak the word holy, we are using a religious term.

B. God is made up of three persons –God, the Father, Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. We Christians are offended when we use the names God or Jesus as a swear word (well, some of us are, which I already addressed in a post here), but for some reason we can use part of the Holy Spirit’s name and not find offense.

These are the two reasons why I, personally, do not use these terms. It just doesn’t seem like the best thing to say. I am not making a judgment about your spirituality or godliness if you do use these terms. I am simply asking that we give some thought to this term.

Is it the best term to use? Or could we express our surprise and shock in a way that is more pleasing to God? It’s just something to think about.

Why Do We Get So Angry?

Leave a Comment / October 15, 2013 October 15, 2013

I can get really angry. Some of the things that make me angry (or at least very irritated) are–

• drivers that go below the speed limit

• being interrupted while I am trying to concentrate

• kids who argue or show disprespect

• leaving the lights on and closet doors open

• twisting the truths of scripture

• not getting my way

Now before you judge or criticize me, stop and think about yourself for a moment. I am guessing that there are a few things that probably make your blood grow a little hot, as well.

Of course, all of us do not express anger the same way. Some of us yell and scream. Others sulk or get very quiet. Still others gossip or slander. Some people (hopefully not any of my readers) express their anger inappropriately by throwing things or hitting and kicking.

But, no matter how it manifests itself, anger is a part of all of our lives.

A sermon I listened to recently clarified the sinfulness of anger. It also made it clear how much I shrug off this sin. I rationalize that everyone gets angry once in awhile. So what? What’s the big deal?

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we have righteous anger, but it doesn’t take much honest introspection to come to the conclusion that most of our anger is about our own personal agenda and has nothing to do with an offense towards the Holy God we love.

In fact, when I started to think about this particular sin in my life, I was mortified at just how important I consider my agenda, my comfort and convenience, my desires, and my stuff.

After all, why would I get so very angry when someone crosses me if they weren’t so important to me?

{And suddenly I remember what I really am—a self-absorbed, pathetic sinner in desperate need of a Savior. For if anything can remind me of the wonder of salvation and the glory of the Gospel it is coming face to face with my own sin.}

So, if I am angry because someone is keeping me from my doing what I want to do or having what I want to have, what exactly does that mean? I believe that it means that something is more important to me than God at that moment. And that means that–at least for that moment– there is an idol in my life.

For example, let’s just say that I want a clean house and so I work hard to have one. An hour later my husband walks through the house with muddy boots. If I grow angry (and I usually do), then I am putting my desire for a clean house before pleasing the Lord with my tongue.

Another example comes to mind. Let’s say I am searching for a pair of earrings and can’t find them. I eventually figure out that one of my daughters borrowed (and lost) them. If I speak angry words in frustration (which is, quite honestly, normally how I respond) than–for that moment–my stuff has become more important than pleasing the Lord.

The sad thing is that this happens to me way, way too often.

You see, most of us like to blame our anger on something or someone else. We talk about our hormones, our misbehaved kids, or our demanding parents. We blame our husbands, our pastors, or our co-workers. They made us angry.

But, if we are honest, we really cannot shift the blame for our anger on to someone (or something) else. In each instance, whether we grow slightly frustrated or absolutely furious, we still hold the responsibility for that anger.

There are better ways to solve problems than anger. In fact, I would go so far as to say, anger compounds the problem rather than solving it. Think about the last time you got angry. Can you think of it? Now think about how you responded. Got it? So my question for you is this: Did your yelling and screaming help or hinder resolution? Did your sulkiness and sullenness bring peace or strife to the situation?

So, in a nutshell, our anger not only shows us that we are selfish to the core but it also hinders our relationships. If that is the case, then what is the right way to respond? And how do we get ourselves to respond in this right way?

Honestly, I am still working on that one. I am pretty certain that it has to do with devaluing and dethroning myself while I make pleasing God my most important priority in all aspects of my life. Some things that would probably help me in this are memorizing scripture, prayer, and having a response plan in place for the inevitable frustrating moments that will come.

What I do know, without a doubt, is that our spouses are more important than our desires, our children are more important than our stuff, and that God is more important than anything else. That leads me to believe that working on this problem of anger isn’t an option, but a necessity if we are going to grow in our faith.

The Tie That Binds

Leave a Comment / October 10, 2013 November 7, 2023

Have you ever had the following experience? You start talking with someone. It may be a complete stranger at the mall or in a restaurant. It could be your insurance agent or your professor. As you converse, you find out that they, too, follow Christ. As you talk further you realize that they– just like you– are passionate about their faith. Immediately you feel this amazing bond that is beyond any human comprehension. It is quite different than finding someone who comes from the same city or does the same job. It is an awareness that you are related in the Lord. It is a wonderful experience.

I remember this happening twenty years ago. My husband and I were going to one of those special all-inclusive honeymoon places in The Poconos (anyone else remember those? The Poconos was the place to go before the Caribbean became the place to go). We were celebrating our 5th anniversary and by that time had a couple of kids. We were excited to spend a weekend alone.

When we arrived, we found out that we had to share a table with another couple at our meals. We were a bit hesitant as we headed to the resort’s restaurant. Who would we be seated with? A loud, obnoxious couple who loved to drink? A quiet couple who made it difficult to converse? An old couple? A young couple? We were anticipating complete awkwardness (keep in mind that we were really just kids at the time and especially hated to be put out of our comfort zone).

Imagine our surprise when we arrived at the dining room and were seated with a police officer and his wife from Brooklyn, NY. We quickly surmised from their accents that they had probably been born outside America and found out a few minutes into our dinner that they had immigrated from Nigeria. That certainly gave us something to talk about. We were relieved. Our dinner partners were pleasant enough and we knew we would be fine.

But as we chatted with them, we eventually realized that we were related in the Lord. And, after that, all our supposed differences fell away. As other couples drank and danced the night away, we stayed at the table, talking about raising kids, church, and life in light of our common faith. We talked about the difference between Nigeria and Brooklyn. I especially remember his conversation about Nigerian jails. FYI: You really want to avoid going to a Nigerian jail (and it was his opinion that American jails should be a little more like them!) We talked about our cultures and homes. But all of our conversation was infused with the knowledge that, although we had different skin colors and came from completely different countries and backgrounds, we were one in Christ.

And the knowledge of that was so sweet.

You see, when we meet a fellow brother or sister in the Lord it doesn’t really matter what color they are or what background they come from or what they are wearing or how much money they have. It doesn’t even matter if you can speak the same language.

One of my favorite things about mission trips is when we will go to a national church. Hearing the familiar tunes being sung in a different language is a reminder that the bond we have in Christ is strong and very special. It reminds me of the old hymn–

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

I didn’t really understand the words in this song when I was younger, but life has taught me about this Christian love that binds our hearts. Twenty years have passed since that time together around a table at a honeymoon resort in the mountains of Pennsylvania and yet I still clearly remember it. We thoroughly enjoyed their company and all four of us mused at how God had arranged for us to sit at the same table.

For true Christian love is a tie that binds us to our Christian brothers and sisters. And I thank the Lord for that.

Wednesday Wisdom: Stand and Be Counted

Leave a Comment / October 9, 2013 October 9, 2013

Have you ever heard this quote–

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” ?

This is generally attributed to JFK but no one really quite knows for sure. But whoever said it was right. It is not good enough to avoid evil. We also need to stand for what is right. It is really the heart of what this passage is talking about. If we are godly then we will want to be counted on the Lord’s side and stand with those who are proclaiming God’s Truth. I found this excerpt full of good food for thought–

Most of us will never run for political office, but each of us can use our influence to endorse someone who is stepping out and representing our concerns. We can put bumper stickers on our cars, display campaign signs in our yards, attend fundraising events, and help man the call center for our candidate.

In a similar manner, you may not be the point man for a righteous concern among your Christian friends or in your church because someone else has already spoken out against wrongdoing, but you can publicly endorse the person who is taking the right position. Unfortunately, when a pastor who is doing right gets resistance from church members, the only ones who speak up are those opposing him. They are quite ready to “plant yard signs” and volunteer to work “call centers” to get people on their side.

Godly believers will join with the roommate, the youth director, the student leader, the professor, or the parent who is taking the right position and will encourage him in his right cause. They will not let the opposition have the only voice. What a tragedy that those who agree with a righteous position remain silent! God’s people need to support righteousness whenever they see it and encourage the people who are sticking their necks out for what is right.

Paul told Titus to groom and deploy into church leadership men who would “be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers…they must be silenced…therefore, rebuke them sharply that they may be sound in the faith” (Titus 1:9-11, 13 ESV)

If no one else is speaking up, you may have to the be the David and be the first to oppose what is wrong. If someone already has, join him. Don’t let a David enter the battle against the Philistines alone. The godly man knows where God has drawn the line in the sand and gets on God’s side of the line.

From p. 109, Essential Virtues, Marks of the Christ-Centered Life by Jim Berg

Dodging the Land Mines

2 Comments / October 7, 2013 October 7, 2013

The other night we visited with some friends who had spent many years in a foreign country as missionaries. The husband talked about how dangerous his first few years were when he was there as a single missionary. The nationals had warned him of the deadly land mines and bombs that were still part of their daily existence. They cautioned him to beware of every piece of trash, tiny fragment of plastic, or piece of string on the street, asserting that the smallest thing could be a set-up. He would ride his motorbike trying to avoid anything that lay on the road, knowing that he could be blown to smithereens in a heartbeat.

I believe his experience may be likened to the Christian culture we find ourselves in.

It is like we are on a motorbike and everywhere we turn there is danger. We can never take anything at face value, because there may be something deadly beneath the surface.

For instance, I recently saw a Facebook status of a woman who was asking about “hypnobirthing”. I knew with a prefix like hypno it was probably not a good thing, so I did a little investigating. I found out that it is the process of self-hypnosis while giving birth. Imagine my surprise when all of the comments below her status were by women who were praising this method and even talked about how close to God they felt during the experience.

But wait a minute! Anything to do with hypnosis should be a problem for a Christian. Any type of hypnosis means giving up self control and putting control of your mind into the hands of another person or being. This practice is in direct opposition to Christianity. And yet here were well-meaning Christians promoting something that threatens a healthy walk with God.

They had unknowingly stepped on a spiritual land mine. Spiritual land mines do not kill us outright. No, they are instead like an insidious poison that seeps into our minds, doing great damage to our spiritual walks. And since we do not realize that we have been poisoned, we will, with well-meaning motives and enthusiasm, often infect others.

Here are a few other instances of spiritual landmines–

~A “Christian” book that completely and totally dismantles the gospel, piece by piece, that I see in the hands of a Christian friend.

~A suggestion to my daughter that she read a book that destroys the image of God as set forth in scripture, also labeled as a “Christian” book.

~Songs that are on the playlist on my Christian radio station that promote anti-biblical, new age themes.

~Statuses of sincere Christians, quoting mystics and false teachers, unaware that these people they admire have tainted and twisted the gospel beyond repair.

~Revered pastors and teachers using a version of the Bible that changes the meaning of entire passages of scripture.

If you are a genuine believer at this moment in time, then you and I are in this dangerous, deadly field of spiritual land mines together. There is no place that is safe, no place we can run and hide. While there may still be a few churches and ministries unaffected by false teaching they become rarer and rarer each day. We have to take every step carefully, always being aware of what we are reading, who we are listening to, and the preachers and authors we are promoting.

We have to be willing to turn away from something that looks promising or exciting or deeply spiritual, if it goes against what is taught in God’s Word.

Of course, as I have said maybe a million times before on this blog, we can only do so if we know God’s Word. We need to keep ourselves immersed in the Bible, studying and memorizing it.

We are in a spiritual war and the battle is growing more intense by the day. We can put our heads in the sand if we want to, but to do so not only puts our own spiritual health in danger, but also the spiritual lives of our families and friends.

Oh, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, we are in a very dangerous era. Worldly Christians will tell you otherwise, but don’t you believe them. We are walking through the land of spiritual landmines. We are not friends with this world. We are on a narrow path. And we are hated. But take heart! This world is not our home! The best is yet to come!

Meanwhile, let’s keep our eyes wide open and take our spiritual steps very cautiously. I Thessalonians 5:21 says it best: Test everything. Hold fast what is good.

Giving Up Without a Fight

4 Comments / October 3, 2013 October 3, 2013

The Cockatoo sat nonchalantly on its perch in the center of the giant metal cage. We spotted its white feathers as we walked towards it. It was a beautiful day to go to the zoo and we were enjoying it. We had just passed the parrots and were moving on to the beautiful white bird that is native to Indonesia.

At first our eyes took in the bird, but then movement at its food dish caught our eye. We laughed as we saw the squirrel chowing down on the cockatoo’s food. And then I took a picture–because I just knew there had to be a blog post in there somewhere.

We watched the squirrel eating for a few moments while the cockatoo sat indifferently and unmoving on its perch, and then we walked on to the next cage. But the sight had started my thoughts turning.

Why didn’t the cockatoo protect its food? It easily could have, using its loud squawk and large wingspan.

Was it frightened?

It didn’t really look like it.

Was it distracted?

Could have been, with all of those people walking by.

Was it satisfied and unthinking about the future?

Probably.

You may already know where I am going with this.

I think we often make the same mistake with our children. I watch parents let the world swoop down and steal their kids away, barely putting up a fight.

Did you know that Satan is after the souls of your children? He would like nothing more than to break the chain of your family’s Christian heritage and to render your child useless for God’s Kingdom.

And many of us fall prey to his schemes.

Are we frightened?

Some of us are very frightened. We are scared we will lose the hearts of our children and so we allow them to do anything they want, not realizing that doing so is almost a certain formula for the very outcome we are trying to avoid. We want to be the friends of our kids, instead of the parents that God designed us to be. We don’t want to step on any toes and so we set few boundaries and rarely discipline.

Are we distracted?

Many of us are very distracted. We are busy with careers and committees. We are busy with our girlfriends and our fantasy football leagues. We are busy at church and at school and at club. We lose sight of the battle for our kids’ hearts because we are distracted.

Are we satisfied and unthinking about the future?

Yes, I believe most of us are. Oh, don’t get me wrong–many of us think about the future, but our thoughts generally center around the choices of college and career. We think proudly of their straight A’s or their future basketball career, while we strive to get them the scholarships they deserve. But how often do we think about their walk with God in relation to the future? What kind of Christian do you want your child to be as a grown-up and what steps are you taking to help that happen?

What can we do to keep the “squirrels” from stealing our most precious possession?

1. Parent with courage. It takes courage to say no when every other parent is saying yes. It takes courage to have meaningful conversations about sex and alcohol and creationism and God. It takes courage to set a good example and do what’s right, even when no one is watching. It takes courage to lovingly and graciously tell the truth. If you must fear, then fear the consequences of your child’s heart turned to stone towards God. So many of us parent selfishly, desperately worried about our child’s opinion of us. We should probably be much more worried about our child’s opinion of God. For that, in the end, is what determines their eternal destiny.

The irony of all of this is that if we can parent with courage, most of us will reap wonderful benefits for ourselves. For if our kids love the Lord, then they will love us, too. If they love the Lord, then we will share a biblical worldview and a common purpose. There is nothing sweeter than this.

2. Make your kids a very important priority. There is nothing wrong with doing things outside the home. I think the problem comes in when we are not discriminatory with our choices. We can’t do everything and yet we try. But something has to give. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to spend time with your kids? It may even be one of their activities that has to go. Most kids would benefit much more from a game night with Mom and Dad than from a weekly dance lesson. We cannot allow the world to tell us what is important.

Many years ago, my husband was actively involved in a softball league. Baby J and I would spend many summer evenings watching the games. After a year or two of this, another baby came along and Eric became aware that he was going to have to make a choice. At the time, he was in the first years of starting a business and this occupied much of his time. He knew that in order for his kids to be a priority, he would have to quit softball. How thankful I am for a husband who made our kids a priority.

It sounds like a no-brainer. Of course, the kids are the priority. But, unfortunately, I see this isn’t true in the lives of many parents, and if I am being honest, especially fathers. Many fathers check out when it comes to spending time with their kids, disciplining their kids, and talking with their kids about the hard stuff. Dads, you are one of the most important factors in determining your child’s future relationship with God. Fight for their souls!

And one more thing here, for the grandparents who are reading this–the value of your support in helping your children raise their children is inestimable. You can have incredible influence in the lives of your grandchildren. Our children should not stop being a priority for us just because they have reached adulthood. You can really make a difference in the lives of your grandchildren.

3. Think of your child’s spiritual future. We would consider it irresponsible not to consider our child’s future education or vocation. And, yet, many of us do not think about our child’s future spiritual condition. We need to consider this in the conversations we have and the things we allow in our home and the places we allow them to go. We need to give this consideration as we choose which church to attend and the friendships we encourage our kids to develop. But, most importantly, we need to be who we want them to be. If we want them to be honest and kind and loving and courageous, then we need to be those things.

_______________________

I know that almost all of us love our children with our whole hearts. We’d do anything for them. But sometimes we lose sight of the world as it swoops down and steals the hearts of our children, while we sit, our eyes half-closed, on a perch nearby.

I say that it is time to open our eyes wide and parent with vigilance and abandon for the very short time we have them in our homes. We need to fight for the souls of our children!

Redeem the time and fight! For the heartache that comes with grown kids who aren’t following the Lord is a very real and painful thing.

Wednesday Wisdom: Six Reasons Not to Worry

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2013 October 2, 2013

This world is crazy, isn’t it? It is changing rapidly and it’s a little scary. Yesterday the government shut down. Our “normal” seems to hang in the balance, tossed about in the hands of a socialist leader. Meanwhile, we hear of other bad news, constantly bombarded with stories of violence and diseases and accidents, affecting strangers, as well as those we love dearly. We are constantly confronted with this fact: I control nothing in my life. This can cause some of us to worry. I heard this sermon yesterday and it seemed especially appropriate in light of the current climate of our country. I found it very helpful and I hope you will, too. It is based on Luke 12:22-34 and is by R.W. Glenn, pastor of Redeemer Bible Church. It’s fairly long, but please read through to the end, as he asks four questions that really get to the heart of why we worry.

The world is a dangerous place. Lots of things can happen. The present economy being what it is, you could lose your job. You could be mugged or raped. Your spouse could commit adultery. Or he or she could suddenly abandon you. Your teenage son could repudiate the faith. Your parents could die in a car accident. You could suffer a debilitating injury. You could contract a fatal illness. Your house could burn down. You could lose your life’s savings in bad investments.

And even less significant things could happen. Your car could fail to start. You could fail an exam. You could sprain your ankle. Your colleagues could misunderstand you. Your friend could break your favorite toy. Life is full of risks.

Along with the potential dangers, there are simply lots of things that need to get done. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and households to manage. There are quotas to meet and sales to close. There are meetings to give, budgets to meet, and moves to make. There are church, family, work, and personal responsibilities. There are vacations and weddings and socials and all manner of events to plan. There are sermons to prepare and Sunday school lessons to arrange. There is so much to do, and it seems, so little time in which to accomplish it.

And according to the ADAA, the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, an estimated 19 million adult Americans suffer from what they call anxiety disorders, including…

Generalized anxiety disorder
Agoraphobia
Social phobia
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Sexual aversion disorder
Sleep terror disorder
Avoidant personality
Persecutory delusions
Panic disorder
Paranoid schizophrenia
Other specific phobias
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Nightmare disorder
Paranoid personality
Separation anxiety disorder2

And in the background of these clinical diagnoses are quietly running (or not so quietly) all kinds of fears…

Fears for your safety and the safety of those you love.
Fears about how you will die: a progressively debilitating disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, being alone, being penniless.
Fears about what happens after death: being forgotten, being maligned, being judged, being extinct.
Fears about living a meaningless life.
Fears about being unloved or alone.
Fears about being in love and the high probability of being hurt.
Fears about what you might lose: your figure, boyfriend, girlfriend, hair, youth, mind, money, job, spouse, health, hobbies, purpose, faith.3

The point here is that anxiety is commonplace; Jesus assumes it and tells us that there are lots of reasons to worry. But then he heaps up six better reasons NOT to.

REASON #1: Your life is bigger than your worries – v. 23.

For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.

This is what happens when you’re anxious: you blow up your worry out of proportion to its size. And it becomes so big that it crowds out and takes over your life. It becomes the thing you think about all the time:

Your relational worries
Your work performance worries
Your personal appearance worries
Your financial worries

What you worry about becomes the center of your life, but here Jesus reminds us of a truth we can take to the bank: YOU WERE MADE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT.

“BUT,” you say, “I thought you just said that Jesus’ original audience wasn’t worrying about TRIVIA; their worries were a matter of life and death. So how is “your life is bigger than your worries” supposed to comfort me when I’m worrying about a life-and-death issue?”

TWO THINGS:

Jesus is talking about anything and everything you might worry about. By addressing life-and-death issues he’s including all the lesser worries leading up to it.
When Jesus says that your life is bigger than your life-and-death worries, he’s saying something more than “In the grand scheme of things, your worry is not that big a deal.” INSTEAD, he’s saying a Christian’s life doesn’t end with this life. The timeline of your life extends BEYOND death to RESURRECTION life – the time when everything sad becomes untrue.

SO, “your life is bigger than your worries” is meant to remind you that your life is WAY BIGGER than even your life-and-death worries. After this life, you’ve got eternity to go!

So, reason #1 not to worry: Your life is bigger than your worries.

REASON #2: The Lord takes care of CROWS – v 24.

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!

Crows are scavengers, the garbage men of the bird world, UNCLEAN birds according to the OT law – and yet God takes care of them. How much more are YOU.

REASON #3: Worrying accomplishes NOTHING – vv 25-26.

25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?

This is just a simple, logical reason. Do you ever really help your situation by worrying about it? No, of course not.

REASON #4: God puts clothes on the WEEDS – vv 27-28.

27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

This is similar logic to the logic of the crows: if he feeds crows, he’ll certainly take care of you. Only Jesus does one better. And you’re going to LOVE how David Powlison explains it…

This promise is far more than “God will take care of you.” This is “God will clothe you in nothing less than His radiant glory!” I promise you. “So why do you worry about the clothes you wear? I’ll dress you in My own glory! Why do you worry about your health? I’ll raise you from the dead to eternal life. Why do you worry about a few dollars? I’ll give you the whole earth as your inheritance. Why do you worry when someone doesn’t like you? I’ll make you live in the kingdom of My love!”4

So reason #4 – God clothes the WEEDS, and is going to clothe you with GLORY. So why worry.

REASON #5: Your loving father KNOWS what you need – v 30.

For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.

And when your dad happens to be the ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, SOVEREIGN GOD – you’re in good hands, aren’t you! And to say that he knows what you need means that he cares.

REASON #6: This is the most significant reason of ALL because “Jesus makes it as personal, intimate, and generous as possible.”5 YOUR LOVING FATHER IS HAPPY TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM – v 32.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

Let’s break that down:

“Fear not” – It’s a comfort command. It’s a command, so worry is a sin; but more than that, Jesus is saying you don’t have to worry.

“Little flock” – The shepherd of a little flock knows every sheep by name – EVERY DETAIL. He knows your situation. How you feel. What you’re facing.

“Your Father’s” – This is your dad we’re talking about. If yours was terrible, invert his terribleness and multiply it by infinity! If yours was great, skip the inversion, and STILL multiply it by infinity!

“good pleasure” – You don’t have to twist your father’s arm AT ALL. He’s full ofgenerosity toward you. It’s the same word that Luke uses earlier in Ch 3 (the only other time in the Gospel of Luke this used) to describe the Father’s pleasure with Jesus.

“to give you” – This gift-giving language. The language of GRACE. He doesn’t pay you the kingdom. He gives it to you as a GIFT.

“the kingdom” – The kingdom is both a present and future reality. In the future, the kingdom is God’s RULE when everything sad becomes untrue. When everything is set right in the world. When you can finally EXHALE and REST. Nothing left to fear. ALL the monsters have been destroyed.

In the present, receiving the kingdom means experiencing something of that rest in the here and now. Your dad is the most powerful person in the universe and he has nothing but love for you. So he’s going to give you his peace and joy and rest TODAY. How do we know that? He’s given you the King – King Jesus! How will he not with King Jesus freely give you EVERYTHING – that peace, that rest?

So then, six reasons – better than your reasons to worry – six reasons NOT to worry:

Your life is bigger than your worries.
God feeds CROWS.
Worrying accomplishes nothing!
Your loving father knows what you need.
God puts clothes on WEEDS.
Your loving father is happy to give you the kingdom.

Those are some good reasons!

STILL, as encouraged as you may be right now, you may be wondering how it is that Jesus’ teaching on anxiety is better than what you can find outside the church (the case we’re making in this series).

Well, to address that, I want to walk you through four questions – questions to ask yourself and especially others – that I hope will help you see how RELEVANT Jesus’ teaching really is.

QUESTION #1: What specifically do you worry about?

This can be extremely helpful because when you are really anxious it seems like there are a million things going on inside you. “Anxieties feel endless and infinite – but they are [actually] finite and specific.”6

So what is it for you? Talk it over with a friend to help you identify it. The act of naming what it is will be massively helpful to you.

QUESTION #2: How specifically do you express your anxiety?

Is it feelings of panic?
Is it tightness in your throat?
Is it through your dreams?
Is it repetitive/obsessive thoughts?
Is it anger (that’s a big one)?
Is it depression (another big one)?
Is it binging on Ben & Jerry’s?
Is it taking the edge off with a few martinis?
Is it cleaning your house?
Is it headaches?
Is it planning/strategizing?
Is it through superstitions?

This is a helpful question because it will ALERT you to the fact that anxiety is driving you at that moment.

So, question #2: How do you specifically express your anxiety? What does it look like when you’re worried? How do you behave?

QUESTION #3: This is the KEY QUESTION because it not only allows you to move beyond the anxiety to what motivates it, but it is the key question also because it shows why Jesus is the TRUE ANSWER to our struggles with worry (a better prescription than anything or anyone out there.) Question #3 is: WHY are you anxious?

Here in our passage Jesus gives three underlying reasons – all of which I’m sure will resonate with your own experience.

1. Anxiety is a TREASURE issue – v 34.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Worry is what happens when what you value is threatened. Do you know what it is you value? You value what you worry about and you worry about what you value. I’ll say that again: you value what you worry about and you worry when what you value is threatened.

So if you want to find out what you really value, what makes you tick, what you’re ten fingers and ten toes are committed to, look to what makes you anxious. Fear is an inverted desire. If I’m afraid of being seen as an idiot, then I value being seen as intelligent. If I’m afraid of my job’s insecurity, then I value job security. And on and on. The point is that if you want to find out what you really value, identify what you worry about. You value what you worry about.

But you also worry when what you value is threatened. If I value my children’s welfare, then I worry when they are in danger. If I value my livelihood, then I worry when there are company layoffs. If I value my reputation, then I worry when people think ill of me. Again, we could go on and on. The point here is that you worry when what you value is threatened.

Now because Jesus is the only thing TRULY and ULTIMATELY worth valuing, and because he is completely unassailable, if you value Jesus Christ, can anyone take Jesus Christ from you? No. That’s what Jesus is talking about when he says look, money is a good way of seeing what you value – v 33.

Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.

It’s unassailable. Your anxiety is a treasure issue – it’s about what you VALUE. And because deep down you know that any treasure other than Jesus Christ is weak, powerless, failing and futile, OF COURSE you’re worried.

Anxiety isn’t just a treasure issue.

2. Anxiety is a KINGDOM issue – v 31.

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

There are two kingdoms at war in every human being’s life – the kingdom of SELF and the kingdom of God. They are kingdoms in conflict.

If you could live perfectly for the right kingdom – the one ruled by King Jesus – you wouldn’t worry at all, ever because you know he’s got your life in his hands and promises ONLY to do good to you.

The worry comes because you are afraid that your will won’t be done, that you won’t get what you think you deserve. You’re afraid that somehow my project of building my own kingdom about me is threatened. So you worry…

“Do I have any real friends?”
“What if I don’t make the team? What if I forget my lines in the play? What if someone else gets picked for that committee?”
“Will I ever find a husband or wife?”
“If I do find one, will he or she be faithful to me?”
“Will I be able to have kids?”
“If I have kids, how will they turn out?”
“What about my health? Some of my friends are dying of cancer. It’s painful. Is that going to be for me? Will I be able to have the strength to go through that? What if I get Alzheimer’s? The thought of ending my life not even able to recognize the people I love: what about that?”

On and on and on, your health, your money, your relationships, your achievements.7

But in the END, it’s all about ME – my wants, my needs, my desires. Worry is focused INWARD. It is self-protective and self-reliant. It chooses kingdom of self over the kingdom of God. This is why Jesus is the only answer to worry – you need a new king. Only Jesus is a king sufficient to take away your worries.

SO anxiety is a KINGDOM issue.

3. Jesus says anxiety is a FAITH issue – v 28.

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

As Calvin has said, “Unbelief is the mother of every anxiety.” People who worry do not trust the true and living God. And in the absence of trusting God, we trust false gods. And, of course, this SHOULD make us anxious. Our false gods are powerless to help us when things go rough…because they’re not real. They are the figment of our imagination.

Oh, most of us don’t make dashboard idols that we give fruit and meats to – but we are idolaters nonetheless. The prophet Ezekiel talks about idols of the heart – the things we live for and long for – the things we seek above God – power, fame, sex, money, approval, intelligence, comfort, security – whatever.

Now whatever we live for other than God will only do two things: lower the boom or raise the bar (I owe this language to my friend Dick Kaufmann). If you fail to live up to the standard of your idol of choice, they lower the boom – make you feel terribly guilty so you’re always trying to live up to the standard your idol sets for you from fear of it lowering the boom. So you’re anxious!

On the other hand, if you DO live up to the standard of your idol, if you get what you crave, it only raises the bar. It says, “Not good enough. You need more.” And so you’re anxious, too, only this time, you’re not afraid as much you’re insecure. “Did I do enough?” When is enough, enough?”

But, of course, your idol of choice is simply yourself. We love to trust ourselves. And whenever you trust yourself, you cannot trust God at the same time. The moment your faith shifts from God to self, your faith in God lessens. It’s just the way it works. So when you worry, you are transferring your faith from God to self, and essentially telling God that you can run the universe better than he can, so you’ll take it from here!

No wonder you’re worried! Running the universe, with all its contingencies, is a BIG JOB.

But if you remember what Christ has done for you, if you trust that your Father’s good pleasure is to give you the kingdom, if you believe that you are valuable to God, then your worries begin to evaporate.

Anxiety is a FAITH issue. Trusting yourself is loaded with uncertainty and insecurity. Trusting God you can take to the BANK because he’s proved himself at the cross. He must love you and must be interested in what you’re going through, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent Jesus for you.

This is why the question “Why are you anxious?” is so important. Beneath your fears and worries are misplaced treasures, kingdoms in conflict, and unbelief in the gospel. No other strategy can get to the bottom of your anxiety.

NOT: (1) thoughtless optimism, a kind of carelessness. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” “Everything’s gonna be alright”; (2) logic and the statistical improbability of such-and-such a thing happening to you; (3) distraction – “You’ve gotta do something to get your mind off it.” (4) plan and scheme with the person to show them that they have things well enough under control; (5) tell them you’ll always be there for them (you won’t).

None of these things are real encouragements because none of them direct us to the gospel. Only Jesus is true treasure. Only Jesus is the true King. Only Jesus is trustworthy.

So then, question #3: Why specifically do you worry? What’s driving the bus for you?

QUESTION #4: What better reason has Jesus given you specifically not to worry?

Is it that your life is bigger than your worries? That you father feed CROWS or puts clothes on WEEDS? That your father knows (and cares about) what you need? Or is it that your loving Father is happy to give you the kingdom?

Some days it will be one of those. Some days it will be a combination. Some days it will be a couple of those. But what specifically are you bringing to bear?

What we need to do for each other is to make the connection of something specific in the gospel to something specific in others’ lives. We miss all the time! We are SO VAGUE. We just throw a verse out at a person! No wonder why people outside the church say that we don’t understand the nature of the human condition. We’re just throwing out a band-aid. You and I live our lives in DETAIL, in HD, so you and I need a gospel sensitive to the details – specific enough to make a difference.

So ask yourself and one another:

What specifically are you worried about?
How are the specific ways?
How specifically is your anxiety expressing itself?
Why specifically are you anxious?
What better reason does Jesus give you specifically not to worry?

And as you do that, remember, above all, this GOOD WORD of JESUS: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Amen.