Encouragement – Page 23 – Growing 4 Life

Thighs are jiggly in the real world

2 Comments / January 19, 2015 January 19, 2015

I saw a video on Facebook the other day that showed real women exercising. Their bodies weren’t perfect, their thighs jiggled, most had a little tummy, and they broke a real sweat. They looked like they were having a great time. It was a commercial put out by a foreign athletic company for the same reason that the Dove soap commercial came out a few years ago with Jamie Lee Curtis–to present the truth about women. And it was beautiful.

Sometimes I get so weary of trying to be perfect, don’t you? We are constantly barraged by photos on our computers, tablets, and smartphones that tell us we do not measure up. We’re not skinny enough, our houses aren’t beautiful enough, our kids aren’t perfect enough. There is always this elusive, impossible standard that hangs over our heads.

That standard didn’t really exist even 25 years ago. It was just starting to affect us. Now it can control us if we aren’t careful. A big problem in our pinterest-facebook-instagram world is the standards and expectations we set for ourselves because of the pictures we see.

It reminds me of a blog I landed on a few weeks ago. It was a young mom’s home and she had taken some holiday pictures of it that were gorgeous! She obviously has an eye for decorating and design. But even as I scrolled down through, I felt inadequate.

Now, don’t get me wrong– I don’t think there is anything necessarily wrong with posting beautiful pictures. Our world is a much more creative place now that the online world is filled with blogs and Pinterest. But, oh, how careful we need to be as we surf the online world.

Life is so much more than the pictures you see on social media. It’s full of jiggles and cellulite. It’s full of dirt and messes. It’s okay if our houses don’t look like they belong on a blog post. It’s okay if we have a little tummy pooch. Who in the world ever gave us the impression that’s it’s not? And why do we listen to them?

This post is not about losing weight or enjoying interior design but, instead, about trying to be someone we are not because of pictures we see. It’s about young, healthy moms who think they are overweight because they don’t look like the single girl they graduated with ten years ago. It’s about being discontent with our body shapes and our possessions. It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?

And if we get into that cycle of discontentment, all gratitude is gone. And without gratitude, we lose sight of our many blessings — a critical part of a healthy relationship with God.

We need to be careful of the subtle call of discontentment and view it for what it is and then take necessary steps to change it. Because life is just too short to try to be something we aren’t. Let’s instead live lives of joy and gratitude and turn to God’s Word for our standards of living. Because, in the end, the fruits of the spirit and a godly life will be so much more important than any external change we may have made.

I Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

Why Waiting Is Sometimes the Best Option

3 Comments / January 15, 2015 January 15, 2015

I think I may have done the same thing. It’s hard to know, isn’t it? But if my husband would have been promised heirs as numerous as the dust and I very obviously couldn’t have children, I may have tried to fix it, too. Because that’s what we humans do. We try to fix uncomfortable, inconvenient, unpleasant situations.

Only sometimes –many times– it backfires.

I couldn’t help but think of this as I read Genesis 16. If you are doing the Bible Challenge this year, you will have recently read (or will soon read) about Sarai giving her maid, Hagar, to Abram to bear children for her. In a culture like theirs we can’t conceive of giving our husband another woman, but that was a different time and place and Sarai was obviously desperate for a baby. So instead of waiting, she took matters into her own hands. As we read on, we see that her decision to do that not only caused heartache for her and her family, but caused strife and anguish for generations to come. She took matters into her own hands and many, many people suffered –and continue to suffer–because of it. For Ishmael is considered to be the ancestor of the Arab nation and this seems to be the birthplace of the historical strife between them and the Jews.

It is easy for me to sit back and point a finger at Sarai. How could she be so hasty and foolish to think she could fix a problem that only God could fix? And, yet, how often I am guilty of the same thing.

I have been known to rush in and try to “fix” my husband and my kids on many occasions. I have tried to fix situations at church and in my extended family. These efforts are usually not helpful and I have been slowly learning to back away and pray instead.

Of course, sometimes, God would lead us to confront someone (Matthew 1815-17) or to pull them from the fire (Jude 1:22-23) but this should only be done with much humility and after much prayer. There is a place for thinking outside of the box to solve problems and giving our energy to changing our own bad habits but human efforts should never be done impulsively or out of desperation. They should never take precedence over God’s will. And we should never, ever try to change someone else’s bad habits unless they ask for our help. Because I have learned that this is a completely fruitless and utterly hopeless task.

Of course, this is so easy to write about but much harder to put in place. For example–

The other day, I found myself growing extremely frustrated that once again my floor was filled with muddy footprints. I found myself in a bit of a panic, as Bible Study was going to be taking place in my home shortly and my family seemed to have no care about this, but continued to walk across my clean floor with their wet boots on. And so I took matters into my own hands and started yelling. Yeah, like that’s going to fix it. In my experience, yelling has never fixed anything. So why do I keep doing it?

Thankfully, this pathetic effort at trying to fix something in my life in the wrong way only humbled me and reminded me of my great sinfulness. I was absolutely mortified to be yelling at my family just before my friends walked in my house. And instead of fixing the situation, I had just made it worse.

Which is what usually happens when I try to fix something without praying and considering the ramifications beforehand.

And this was just a wrong response to a muddy floor– a tiny blip in the timeline of my life with no long-lasting consequences. I can’t imagine how Sarai must have felt after she tried to take matters in her own hands. A lifetime of strife would follow and she was to blame. Taking matters into our own hands can have minor consequences or they can have major ones, but there are always consequences.

And so perhaps we would be better off if we would wait quietly, taking time to consider and pray, bringing our baffling problems and unsolvable puzzles to the Lord instead of trying to impulsively fix them ourselves.

And the wonderful thing about doing this is that so many times, the Lord proves Himself so faithful in these situations! Even just recently, a friend shared how God worked in an absolutely astounding and surprising way to solve an impossible situation. For it’s only when we can’t solve it ourselves that we really see God work, just as He did in Sarai’s life by giving her baby Isaac. For, with God, nothing is impossible.

Helping your kids through a tough time

Leave a Comment / January 8, 2015 January 8, 2015

How well I remember that moment. I was peaking around the door to check on my oldest daughter. She was only two or three and was in Sunday School for the first time. As I watched, I saw a couple of little girls treat her unkindly. I saw the hurt look on her face and I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart.

That was the moment I realized that it hurts far worse to watch my kids experience hurt than for me to experience it personally.

Watching all that was going on from that door was rather torturous. But I knew to step in and try to fix the situation would only make it worse. And so I stood helplessly by, trying to comfort myself with the thought that I went through the same kind of snubs and survived.

Little did I know at that time just how often my kids would experience pain and hurt throughout their lives– no matter how much their father and I tried to protect them. Since that time I’ve grown older and, hopefully, wiser. And I’ve learned that there are some things we can do help our kids as they travel through those painful times.

But before we can help them, we need to understand a few things ourselves. First, we need to understand that we can’t– nor should– fix every little problem that comes up in our kids’ lives. As my oldest was going through terrible times with some friends in middle school it was all I could do to not to get involved, but, thankfully, I chose to heed my mother’s advice: do not get involved. I am so glad that I did now, although at that time it felt like I must do something.

I think we also need to understand that shielding our kids from hurt is actually hurting them in the long run. Let’s say that we were actually able to keep them from experiencing pain and hurt for the first eighteen years–can you imagine what would happen when they left our shelter and struck out on their own? What a cold and harsh introduction to a cold and harsh world. And not only that, but in our attempts to protect and shelter our kids from pain, they start believing that they are the center of the world. They become self-centered and self-absorbed and eventually end up hurting themselves (and us) in the long run.

And so we cannot think it is our duty to shield our kids from pain. It isn’t.

But just because we can’t keep them from feeling hurt, doesn’t mean we can’t help. There are some things we can do to help our kids–

1. Remind your child that they are not alone. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and keep them secure in that love. No matter what’s going on — whether bad grades, a broken heart, or not making the team– be by their side and encourage them. But, just as importantly, remind them of God’s love. Remind them that they will never be alone if they turn to God in their trials.

2. Talk about the Sovereignty of God in their life. Sovereignty is a big word, but basically we need to discuss with our kids how nothing happens outside of God’s Will and how whatever it is they are facing is something God is using to turn their hearts toward Him or to grow them spiritually. Nothing happens without a reason. Encourage them to have a humble and teachable spirit as they face trials and troubles and then follow those words up by having a humble and teachable spirit yourself when you face your own personal trials.

3. Think outside the box. So often we tend to throw our hands up in the air and say, “Oh, well, we just need to walk through this” and we put our heads down and trudge on. But sometimes– not always, of course– we can think outside the box and come up with a solution. Or we come up with a way to creatively deal with a situation. Talking and discussing in this way will help them with problem-solving later on. We never want to teach them to just “accept their fate” without first exploring all of the options. We never want to encourage them to dwell in a place of self-pity. But it is very important that we never have these discussions without prayer. Be in prayer with them and for them. God has answered and provided in many seemingly impossible situations in our family’s life– building much faith in the process.

4. And, finally, always help them to keep a proper perspective. When one of my kids and I were discussing something difficult that they were going through recently, it was so helpful to remember that this particular trial really wasn’t that much of a trial, in light of what so many others go through. It really does help to remember that it could be so much worse. At the very least, gently and lovingly turn their thoughts to how much gratitude they should have simply because they have a warm home, food to eat, and someone who loves them to take care of them.

As you have these discussions with your kids, you will see them start handling their own trials in this way. But, of course, most of our discussions with our kids will be utterly useless if we don’t respond to our own trials well. How true the old saying is: Much more is caught than taught. And so we need to be ever mindful of responding and reacting to our own trials by applying these same four principles.

Our kids are going to experience pain. It is the very nature of life. Instead of jumping in to shield and protect them, let’s do all we can to prepare them for the future, so that they will be ready to go out into the world as capable and unselfish adults who want to live for God’s glory.

Just 15 Minutes

Leave a Comment / December 29, 2014 December 29, 2014

How much time does it take to change your life? I think sometimes we drag our feet at putting any change in place, thinking that it will gobble up the precious free hours that we have. We honestly believe that we don’t have time to cook healthy meals or exercise or that we don’t have the time to organize, keep a budget, or read the Bible. Or perhaps we believe we will never have time to learn to play that instrument or learn how to use the computer or read that classic. And so I have a challenge for you (and for me, too!)

It’s simple, really.

15 minutes.

The challenge is to give 15 minutes per day this year to something that you really want to accomplish in your life. If a year seems overwhelming then start with a month.

There are 1440 minutes in each day. We spend about 480 of those minutes sleeping. That leaves 960 minutes to work and play. Surely, we can take just 15 of those 960 to start working on something that really matters to us?

For me, I have decided to take January and tackle some housecleaning jobs that have been neglected. I have made a checklist of small jobs that need to be done around the house that I never seem to get to. None of the jobs will require more than 30 minutes and most will be 15 minutes or less.

I share this here, because I wonder if sometimes we don’t move forward because it just seems so overwhelming. But what if it only took 15 minutes a day?

If we exercise for 15 minutes a day, isn’t that so much better than not at all?

If we focus on our budget for just 15 minutes (or even 5 minutes!) each day, wouldn’t that be so beneficial in tracking our finances?

If we would read our Bible for even 15 minutes per day, that would still add up to 5,475 minutes spent reading our Bibles. That’s over 91 hours spent reading our Bible in one year!

Perhaps change is within our grasp, after all.

A man names Charles Atlas says this: “15 Minutes a Day! Give me just this and I’ll prove I can make you a new man.”

I don’t know anything about Charles Atlas and I don’t know the context of this quote, but what I do know is that this is true. If we would dedicate just 15 minutes a day to something we really want to accomplish, we will accomplish it! Sure, the downside is that it will take us longer to get there, but let’s remember it was the slow and steady tortoise that finished the race in Aesop’s familiar fable.

Of course, I would be amiss if I didn’t mention here that there isn’t anything better you could spend your 15 minutes on than studying God’s Word this next year. I am sure by now you are tired of hearing about the Bible Challenge, but I truly hope you will consider joining me and other Growing 4 Life readers as we read through the Bible chronologically. Or, if not with us, that you will be in God’s Word with another group of friends or your church or even on your own. I am convinced that– while we can change our behavior and our habits–a changed heart can only be accomplished through the work of the Holy Spirit through the reading of God’s Word. There is power in this Book. There is nothing else that could possibly be of more value to you as you head into 2015.

But whatever you choose to spend your 15 minutes a day doing, I know you will feel a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the year (or month) because you stuck it out and have made a change– even if it’s a small one.

Anyone care to join me in the 15 minute challenge?

The Christmas Letter

Leave a Comment / December 19, 2014 December 19, 2014

Dear Friends and Family,

This year was great! Jack was valedictorian and is headed to the best university in the country with a full scholarship. Little Suzy was the top gymnast in her league and has hopes to reach the Olympics. We all went on a missions trip that was absolutely wonderful! At least a hundred people came to know the Lord while we were there. John received a promotion. Susan is the head of the PTA. Our dog is perfect, as is our home, our car, and everything about our family. See the lovely pictures and please envy our lives. Because we have it all together. And you don’t.

Love,

John and Susan

Okay, so I am being a little facetious, here. Obviously. But I think this challenge of sharing good news can sometimes come across like this letter. And it brings to mind a few things–

First — as a writer– it is pretty important that we don’t act like life is perfect. Because we all know it’s not. One of my biggest concerns with writing a Christmas letter or even posting pictures on Facebook is that people would believe this about me. My husband and I argue, just like any other couple. There are many times my kids don’t get along. And there are occasions where I would be downright embarrassed if you walked into my house. We struggle with being down and grumpy. We live out the consequences of sinful choices.

BUT, that being said, it is exciting to share the good news of our lives! So much of life is filled with hurt and difficulties and pain that we naturally want to celebrate the good! And so we should! As long as we can do so without giving the impression that we are somehow better than our neighbors or friends.

So let’s write and post and share the wonderful blessings of our lives with grace and kindness, doing our best to avoid giving the impression that somehow we have it all together.

And second– as a reader– let’s love our friends and family by being happy for them! Sometimes we can get a little resentful. Especially if we are going through a difficult season of our lives. We can’t understand why that person has so many blessings when we have been hit by trial after trial. And it all seems so unfair. But Romans 12:15 tells us that we are to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

If we can keep a proper view of God’s Sovereignty, we can follow this command so much more easily. You see, it is easy to grow jealous if we perceive our lives to be tougher than somebody else’s, but if we know that our lives, as well as the life of the person we envy, are under God’s Sovereignty and His holy plan, then it makes it not only possible but delightful to rejoice with them!

I add here, as well, that no matter what it looks like, you can be guaranteed that no life is perfect on this earth and trials and struggles abound in all lives — even the ones that look perfect.

This post is specifically about Christmas but is really applicable year round. I hope that you can truly enjoy the wonderful blessings and victories of your family members and friends because this is what leads to true fellowship.

What If I Don’t “Get” The Bible?

Leave a Comment / December 15, 2014 January 12, 2019

People will sometimes share their hesitation in reading scripture because they just find the Bible uninteresting or so hard to understand. Even if we don’t say it out loud, these thoughts often lurk in the back of our minds, casting a shadow over our best intentions to read the Word.

I’ve been there myself. I, too, have struggled with disinterest, lack of comprehension, and terrible guilt about not loving God’s Word as I ought to as a believer. My lack of love for God’s Word was a big shadow over my Christian life for many years.

And so I started praying about it–asking specifically that God would give me a love for His Word.

And He answered that prayer.

It wasn’t instant and sometimes I still struggle, but He truly has instilled in me a love for scripture. It is just one of the many ways God has proven Himself faithful to me. I am not special. If you ask Him, He will do the same thing for you. There are a few things we can do to prepare our hearts, though, to be receptive to the Word.

We first (and most importantly) need to recognize our sinfulness and be sure to have a humble and submissive spirit when we read. This can take some work in this world of “rights”, with the great focus always on “me”. It’s not how we have been trained to think. I have also found in my own life that it is a purposeful choice that I have to make almost daily. I have not found humility something that I master and then can move on. Pride and selfishness sneak their way in so subtly.

We also need to bring a spirit of obedience– being ready to obey even the things that make us uncomfortable or that may require sacrifice. This can be very difficult and I can truly understand why so many people struggle with this and may even stop reading. Stepping out of our comfort zone and giving up the things we love is never easy– for any reason. But if you are willing to do this, you will not walk away from your Bible reading unchanged. Slowly, but surely, God uses His Word to transform us and make us more Christlike.

I would also like to add here– and this is really important– I do not understand every passage I read in the Bible. There are many moments where I am scratching my head, really puzzled over what a particular passage is saying or why something happened the way it did.

I know at this point, skeptics and scoffers would call me naive and perhaps even ridiculous to keep reading. But here’s the thing–I am okay if I don’t understand everything about God. In fact, if I did understand everything, I would really be bringing Him down to my level– putting Him inside a box of my own finite and limited understanding. The fact that I can’t understand everything is okay with me because I understand enough. And, quite frankly, I have to agree with Mark Twain, who said–

“It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts I do understand.”

I agree. I think many times we are so disconcerted and uncomfortable about what we can understand, that we often use the excuse we can’t understand it as a reason to just give up.

And I will state right here– that is the easier choice. Yes, it is. It is easier to just say we can’t understand it and put it aside. At least it is easier if you are looking only at right now.

At this present moment.

But what I just wish I could help you understand is the great peace and joy and comfort that comes with submitting your life to Christ in all ways, first and foremost by spending time getting to know Him in the Word. I cannot even begin to tell you how God has used His Word in my life.

Again, let me just confirm once more — I am not anything special. I am just a middle-aged mom from Small-town, America. Let me also make sure you understand that I still fight sin and my selfish desires every single day. This is not about me but about what God is doing in me. He can do the same thing for you. I know He can. If you will submit and obey Him. And the first start to that is by getting into His Word.

I am going to pray that this is the year you are given the faith and the courage to pick up your Bible and read it. Really read and study it. If you do, I can promise you that you will never be the same.

Try a Growing4Life Challenge (see menu at the top of this page). All of the challenges can be used during any year. Or try a 2-year plan. Or an inductive study of a single book. Or just take a book of the Bible and read it for 30 days straight.

But do something. I can promise you that you will not be sorry.

Waiting for “Just Right”

Leave a Comment / December 8, 2014 December 8, 2014

I could feel the socks sinking further down into my boots with each step. About five minutes into my walk, my socks were big lumps underneath my feet. Great. I looked up and saw a bench in the distance and decided I would sit down and try to pull them up as tightly as you can pull ankle socks up, all the while reminding myself that this is exactly why you don’t wear ankle socks with boots.

I got them back to their original positions and tentatively took a few steps. I thought I should be good for a few minutes, but I quickly realized that I was wrong. They were back in their undesired position before I could walk even a half minute down the path.

At this point I had a decision to make. I had three options. I could–

A) Remove the sock.

B) Let them remain uncomfortably wadded at the bottom of my boots.

C) Just stay where I was for the remainder of my days.

Obviously, “C” was not a viable option– although many of us take this option in real-life scenarios, which I’ll explain if you’ll just stay with me a few more minutes here. But back to my options– I was left with A or B. The ground was wet and muddy, with nowhere to sit or lean in sight, making option A a bit perilous, so I settled for option B.

Interestingly enough, by the time I was approaching my house, I realized that I had totally forgotten about the discomfort. My thoughts had taken me elsewhere and I could enjoy the walk even with lumps in my boots.

And I realized that it’s ok. It is ok to walk and not have everything be “just right”.

I have brought this thought process with me to many challenges in my life. It has to be just right for me to work at losing weight, to write a book, to have my quiet time. We all do it. We won’t leave a miserable job until we are forced to, go to church until our spouse joins us, or stick to a budget until it feels like we have enough money. We are waiting for that person to apologize before we forgive, we are waiting for our families to be perfect, before we will change our own attitudes, and we are waiting for our kids to like us, before we will put discipline into place. The interesting thing is that the thing we are waiting to do is often something that would improve our life tremendously.

And I wonder. Is “just right” a trap to keep us from pleasing our heavenly father and living the best life possible while here on earth? Does it keep us stymied in a place of discontent and dissatisfaction, while we wait for our circumstances to come to a point where the thing we want to do will be easy?

How stuck we get in wrong thinking.

This is the time when many of us are starting to think of New Year’s Resolutions and beginning over again. If we are young we enthusiastically set new goals. If middle-age has set in we are, most likely, remembering the days when we used to do that and have caved in to the futility of goal-setting.

But perhaps this is the year. This could be the year that you lose the weight, develop a regular quiet time or read through the Bible (I can help with that here!) or change jobs. Perhaps this is the year that you will create a budget and stick to it. Or organize your photos. Or start cooking for your family. Or forgive.

I don’t know what you are waiting to do. But what I do know is that if you wait for “just right” it will never come. I know this because I’ve been waiting for it for a long time and just when one thing improves another thing rears its ugly head, demanding attention. That is the way of life. We cannot allow it to keep us from growing as a Christian or as a person. We cannot choose Option C, remaining where we are forever. We’d like to choose that because it is comfortable there. The other options take work and we don’t want to work. But Option C isn’t really an option, is it? Because there is no standing still in life. If we aren’t moving forward, then we are sliding backwards.

Perhaps Paul says it best–

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.

Here Paul is talking about moving forward in maturing in Christ Jesus. But many of our goals will help us do that, won’t they? Controlling our appetites, teaching our children to obey, forgiving, being organized or sticking to a budget (which shows that we are a good steward of our material possessions and time) are all good steps to take as we strive to grow as believers.

I think my walk helped me realize that I can still move forward with a goal, even if everything isn’t lined up just the way I think it should be. Sure, my goal or the change I want to make may require a little more creativity, but that’s okay! In fact, it may even be more rewarding that way. Let’s not give up trying to change. Let’s not swallow the lie that things will never change. With some perseverance, through the work of the Holy Spirit, we can change. So get busy making a few goals. Go. Do it now.

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Understanding Our Riches

Leave a Comment / November 28, 2014 May 30, 2017

I don’t know how old you have to be to remember the show “Beverly Hillbillies.” It is a silly show, tilled with innocent humor and pointless plots, telling the tale of a hillbilly family that struck it rich.

The first verse of the theme song goes like this–

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Jed and his family were actually very rich for a very long time before he even realized it, because there was oil underneath the ground where he and his family lived. His ignorance did not make his wealth any less valid or true.

I was reading in Ephesians this morning (Oh, how I love that little epistle!) and came across these verses–For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,^[c] ¹⁵from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, ¹⁶that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

²⁰Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, ²¹to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

And I was just struck by the knowledge that we have so much in Christ. And yet we live like we have so little. So often we are just like Jed, living as a spiritual pauper. We work our way through the swampy mess of our lives, relying on our own resources and strength. When that runs out we turn to worldly philosophies and counselors. And then when that doesn’t work, we often build walls and hide behind them. But these verses tell us that our strength and riches come from Jesus Christ. And that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think! This isn’t talking about selfish requests focused on material goods and a comfortable, pleasant life. Earlier in Ephesians Paul tells us–

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

When we are saved we are filled with the desire to please God. This isn’t a requirement, it’s just a fact. What doesn’t change is our fleshly desire to please ourselves. And so with salvation comes a huge battle and many of us are not prepared to fight it. We either cave to the temptation of our lusts or we fight it with earthly tactics and humanistic techniques.

And yet God tells us in Ephesians that God can accomplish greater things than we can ever imagine through His power in us. We can have victory! Oh, most times it doesn’t come easy and we have to work hard. While God miraculously changes sinful desires in some people, most times it is tiny step by tiny step forward.

But I think the thing I found encouraging is that if we are walking with the Lord in obedience, we can expect victory! Paul goes on in Ephesians to clearly explain what a truly saved and transformed life does and does not look like. If our lives are filled with the things that are of the flesh, we should not expect victory. We can’t live willfully in sin and expect God to work great things in us. That is why so many of us flounder as spiritual paupers, when, in truth, we are quite rich!

Today is a good day to examine your heart. I know that I had much confession to do this morning, as I read Ephesians and realized how I have been allowing some things to take a hold in my heart that shouldn’t be there. I don’t want to live as a spiritual pauper. I want to live as the spiritually rich and very loved person I am in Christ! If you are His, I am sure you want the same. May we all continue to fight the flesh that wars within us by the power of Christ in us! We are on the winning side. Victory is ours through Christ Jesus. Let’s not forget it!

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No Personality Transplant Required (for women only)

Leave a Comment / November 17, 2014 November 17, 2014

I usually try to write for any Christian. But today’s post is just for women. Of course, men can certainly read it, but I don’t think they will really get it. I heard something yesterday in church and felt like I just had to write about it, because I am thinking that it may not just be me that struggles with this particular concern.

We Christian women have been hearing the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit” forever. For years and years, I have felt so incredibly guilty because I am just. not.

Really, it has been one of the most discouraging things ever for me. I naturally tend to take charge (even when I’m not asked) and I can talk too much, if I’m not very careful. I am not gentle. Or quiet. And I struggle with being submissive, too. There. I said it. (You can click here for my post on submission. I won’t write much about that today).

I used to watch Christian women who were “gentle and quiet” — at least in how they portrayed themselves in public– and get a little jealous. Why couldn’t I be more like them? Dignified. Quiet. Even shy.

As I have gotten older, I have gained a much deeper understanding into this. I have seen “godly” women–quiet, shy ones– who years later are not exhibiting much fruit. Their kids have walked away from the Lord. They aren’t really ministering in any area of their lives. Or I have found out that they are pernicious gossips behind the scenes. Of course, there are many quiet, shy women who are truly lovely women of God. And that’s really the whole point. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself here.

So let’s go back to what I heard yesterday in church. We watched a video in our ladies’ Sunday School class that really brought this all together in my mind. At one point, Nancy Leigh DeMoss said something like she believed for a long time that she would need a personality transplant in order to be godly woman. She just knew she didn’t have a quiet and gentle spirit. I had never heard the struggle put that exact way before, but as soon as she said it, I could totally and completely relate. It struck something deep inside me.

In many ways, I have felt like I have left my Savior down, my family down, and my church down just by being me. I have felt like it is impossible to be a godly woman.

But here’s the thing–

Perhaps we haven’t defined the words correctly. I remember that when I wrote the Sermon on the Mount in a Nutshell post that I was surprised by the actual meaning of those verses in Matthew 5. All my life I had defined certain terms in that passage completely wrong–words like “mourn” and “meek.”. Perhaps the same thing has been true of these words “gentle” and “quiet”.

And logic would dictate that if we start with the wrong definition, we end up with the wrong conclusion.

So let’s define these words, using the specific Greek terms (keep in mind that I am no Greek scholar by any means)–

πραέως (praus): This difficult-to-translate root (pra-) means more than “meek.” Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness; humble.

[The English term “meek” often lacks this blend – i.e. of gentleness (reserve) and strength.]

ἡσυχίου (hescuchios): (an adjective derived from hēsyxos, “quiet, stillness”) – properly, quiet (still), i.e. steady (settled) due to a divinely-inspired inner calmness; (“calmly quiet”) describes being “appropriately tranquil” by not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).

As we read these definitions, we begin to understand that being gentle and quiet has absolutely nothing to do with our personality and everything to do with surrendering our will to God’s and living obediently, according to His Word.

You see, this verse is for all of us. As we mature, we should be cloaked in “divinely-inspired inner calmness”– whether we are an introvert or an extrovert. As we grow up in the Lord, we should be demonstrating humility.

And let’s keep in mind that being an extrovert does not mean one is filled with pride, just as being an introvert does not mean one is filled with humility. A quiet person can easily be more prideful than a talkative one. Sometimes we get a little confused on this.

NOW– all that being said– there are some things we need to face.

No matter what personality we have been given by God (Psalm 139:13), it can be used for God’s glory or for our own. Challenges abound for us, no matter what our natural bents are. The key is to recognize the area in which we struggle and, by the help of the Holy Spirit, to work at changing it.

For example, a strong personality may struggle with speaking words at the appropriate time while an introvert may struggle with developing the courage to speak words at all. One woman may struggle with responding with love and compassion, while another may struggle with enabling people in their struggles.

We need to recognize that God has uniquely designed (and blessed) us with the gifts, talents, and quirks that we have. And, along with that, we need to realize that each and every one of us– no matter what our personality is– has struggles and victories and needs and blessings.

No matter what personality we have been given, we have the glorious opportunity of using it to honor and glorify Christ. So let’s make sure that we grab that opportunity and, by God’s great grace and mercy, use it to the best of our ability.

If you have found this post helpful, I would sure appreciate if you would share it. Thank you!

Oswald Bunny and a Lesson Learned

Leave a Comment / November 13, 2014 November 13, 2014

We were exploring Hollywood Studios, Disney’s movie-themed park when everyone decided it was time to ride the Tower of Terror. I thought briefly about going along but then realized that I would enjoy wandering around the park by myself much more than standing in line for a ride I wasn’t even sure I’d like. And so I wished my family well and told them I’d meet up with them in an hour.

I first stopped at a little bookstore set back away from the crowd. I paged through a few books, especially enjoying the first few pages of a biography about Walt Disney. I made a note of the author and then moved on. I then came to the Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream attraction. I enjoyed seeing the journey of this man and his “empire”, from its humble beginnings to its present state. The one thing that really stuck with me was Oswald Bunny.

Oswald Bunny was a character that Walt had created in his early years. Around 1928, through a series of unfortunate and hurtful events, Oswald Bunny was stolen. Not only that, but Walt also lost many of his best employees through the fiasco. Was this the end of his dreams as an animated artist? Of course, we know it was not.

Instead of drowning in his sorrows and giving up, Walt went on that same year to come up with another original idea. As he was riding on a train with his wife, he told her his idea of a mouse he wanted to call Mortimer. She suggested the name “Mickey”, as the name “Mortimer” sounded too pretentious. And thus was born the famous Mickey Mouse. While Oswald the Bunny faded into obscurity, Mickey Mouse became the icon of all that is Disney.

Now why am I sharing this history?

Because the one thing I took from this particular event in Walt Disney’s life is his perseverance through hurt and trials. While I have no idea if Walt was a believer or not, I think we can definitely learn something from him about perseverance.

Perseverance: steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

So, how does this relate to our Christian walk specifically? In 2 Peter 1:5-9, we can see that, if we want to avoid spiritual blindness and stumbling, perseverance is a necessary trait. But perseverance can be quite challenging to develop in our own lives. It is so tempting to give up in the midst of trials or when we can’t see any success in the near future. This has probably gotten so much worse with the event of this age, where if things don’t work instantly, they are quickly abandoned.

So how do we develop godly perseverance in our own lives? I believe there are a few key ways–

1. Don’t compare yourself to others.

It is so easy to look at someone else’s success and just want to give up. But there will always be someone more successful than you are. We need to keep our eyes focused on the ministry, the spiritual growth, and the duties that God has set before us, instead of focusing on others.

2. Don’t measure your success by how much applause and praise you get from mere mortals.

As I write this, I think of some of the great missionaries who sacrificed all to go to pagan lands a hundred or more years ago. When they arrived in these foreign countries, the natives were not falling all over themselves to hear the gospel. Instead, these missionaries practiced much perseverance, receiving little praise or glory. The fruits of their perseverance are evident today, but they weren’t very evident during their ministry. They persevered, anyway.

By the way, If you haven’t read any missionary biographies, I highly recommend doing so. They are so interesting and so much more useful to our Christian growth than romance novels. Some of the most interesting and life-changing that I’ve read are the stories of Gladys Aylward, Isobel Kuhn, George Muller, Amy Carmichael, and Gracia Burnham.

3. Keep your eyes focused on the Lord.

Sometimes, when we receive no praise and glory and we see the successes of others, it is tempting to start relying on our own human deductions. Thoughts like “This isn’t worth it” or “I will never be able to get over this in my past” or “this ministry will never be successful” crowd our mind and we give up. Instead, we need to continue to trust the Lord, ask Him to guide and confirm that we are in His will, and then continue on. We need to turn away from the thoughts of discouragement that plague us and instead keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

4. Learn from our painful moments.

When we are most hurt or embarrassed or torn apart is when we are most vulnerable to the voice that tells us to give up. But instead of giving up, we need to turn to the Lord for comfort and guidance, asking the Lord specifically what He wants us to learn from this time and then be humble enough to learn it. Sometimes, we do need to give up a favorite project or ministry. The key is being able to discern when that is. And, of course, we are never to give up on growing more like Jesus. So that is never even an option.

5. Be careful how you define success.

In this day and age of social media and quickly rising stars, we have to be careful in how we define success as Christians. If you can help even one person understand salvation, is that not a great success for the Lord? The Bible says that the angels rejoice when even one sinner repents! (Luke 15:10)

Sometimes we rely a little too heavily on the numbers. You can even see so many pastors fall prey to this line of thinking, as they become obsessed over the attendance numbers instead of focused on growing the sheep that are already in their fold. But can we overestimate the value of even one soul coming to know the Lord or growing closer to Him through your ministry? If even one person is changed by your ministry, is that not worth it?

Perseverance is really not a popular concept these days, but may I encourage you (and myself, too!) to keep on keeping on. If you are discouraged– as a ministry worker, as a parent, as a pastor or pastor’s wife, or just simply as a believer– then turn your eyes to Jesus and keep your eyes focused on eternity.