Christianity

The Other Side of the Equation

On Monday I wrote about the “Tactless Art of Making People Feel Small”. In that post I shared how important it is that we treat others as we want to be treated instead of acting like we are better than they are. It was an important post because it’s an easy (and acceptable) sin to commit. I hope you will take the time to read it if you haven’t done so yet.

Ironically…

On Tuesday (the day after that post was written), I was planting flowers for a few of our customers. I actually don’t do a whole lot of on-the-job work for our landscaping company but planning and planting the flowers in the busy month of May is something my husband has asked me to do.

Our second job of the day took us to the house of a customer who has mastered the art of making others feel small. We just know that this is the case with him and I tried to prepare myself for his condescension and abrasive attitude. While we were there he came out of the house and got into this car that was parked in the driveway. I glanced over with a smile and a ready wave, but he completely and absolutely ignored my daughter and me planting flowers in his front yard as he drove away in his {very expensive} car. And, yes, I’m pretty sure he knew we were there. That’s just the kind of guy he is. This is not the first time this kind of thing has happened and I am sure it won’t be the last. Unfortunately.

But my reason for writing is not this customer’s treatment of me. Rather, it is about my very wrong reaction to his treatment of me.

I was actually rather surprised at the intensity of the feelings that stirred up in my heart against him. Who does he think he is? The smallness I felt was almost tangible and my first reaction was indignation and animosity towards him.

The Holy Spirit almost immediately convicted me as I realized that this man doesn’t know the Lord. He is lost in his sins and my sinful anger won’t help Him to know my Savior but, in fact –should he ever find out my bad attitude towards him–would serve to drive him away from Christ. This really had me thinking as I sat there digging holes in the dirt and planting pink supertunias.

You see, there is another side to this equation of making someone feel small and that is: How we respond when someone makes us feel small. Because I think we have all been there. Whether it’s a customer who thinks they are better than us, an arrogant co-worker or boss who is constantly demanding things from us, a friend who directs unkind, sarcastic remarks at us, or any other countless situations that remind us that there are those who think we just aren’t important, all of us have been there at one time or another.

And how do we respond? Actually, don’t answer that. If you are like me, you won’t be very proud of the answer.

So let’s, instead, go to the Bible and see how we should respond–

First, Jesus tells us to love our enemies in Matthew 5:44: But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

While this is talking specifically about those who hate us, I think we can safely say that if we are to love those who hate us, we should do the same for those who would make us feel small. It is easy to build a lot of resentment and bitterness towards someone who does this because it feels so very personal. But, instead, we must forgive and then forgive again. We must let the remarks roll off our backs without building up a mountain of anger inside that festers.

In fact, Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:21-22 that we are to continue to forgive someone, even if they continue to hurt us: Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

This can be hard to do with someone who is making us feel so incredibly unimportant and small.

(And if I may go down a quick bunny trail–I had to wonder why I was so angry about this as I stood in the front yard with my frozen smile on my face as I watched him drive away. And I realized it is that ugly old sin of pride cropping up yet again!! It revealed my own ugly self-importance that will probably plague me my whole life. And it makes me glad, once again, for a wonderful Savior who covers my sin and makes me right before God.)

And, second, I think it’s important we take it a step further as we respond to people like this by remembering that something is going on. While many of us struggle with making people feel small on occasion, there are those who do this to us all the time, which makes it harder to forgive. And yet, we have to understand that if someone is living in a pattern of this type of behavior, we can know that they are either lost and headed to hell in their arrogance and pride or they are saved but struggle with a deep-seated problem of insecurity and the only way to make themselves feel better is to make others feel small. Either way, they should be the recipients of our forgiving loving-kindness that would echo the same forgiveness and loving-kindness that God showed us– But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8).

If we need to wait for someone to treat us kindly before we treat them kindly, we are doing it all wrong. God can fill us with His love for someone like this, if we only just ask Him.

And, finally, we have to remember to put ourselves on the back seat and consider our ultimate objective–to save those who are lost and to draw believers to the Word of God and to walk closer with Him. What reaction will best further this goal? Instead of worrying about our foolish pride, we must toss it aside as the rubbish it is and turn our eyes towards eternal matters. What does it matter if someone thought they were better than us if they end up in hell?? It is sobering to think how often we let self  keep us from our ultimate objective.

Anyway, these are all the things I have been thinking about since that incident on Tuesday. I am sure that some of you do not struggle in the same way with that ugly root of pride, but for those of you that do, I hope that this post has encouraged you. God’s Word has the answers, it is just a matter of obeying it. Therein lies the real challenge.

 

The Tactless Art of Making People Feel Small

There is a way to instantly get on someone’s bad side. This builds walls between parents and children and creates barriers between friends. It can ruin ministries and destroy relationships.

I have seen it take place between adult children and their elderly parents. And between teenagers and their bewildered parents. I have seen it take place between teacher and student, pastor and congregation member, husband and wife, and clerk and customer.

It isn’t talked about a whole lot as a sin, but it is a very real (and accepted) sin for which we need to be on guard at all times.

So what is it, you may ask?

It is the art of making people feel small. The great art of condescension, which is defined as an attitude of patronizing superiority; disdain.

Have you ever been around someone who has done this to you?

How did this make you feel?

I can tell you how it makes me feel. It makes me feel unimportant and ridiculous. It makes me feel that I have no more value than a bug to be squashed on the sidewalk.

I know I have done this to others myself and I mourn over this. Do you feel the same way? Some of us are more prone to this than others.

I am especially heart-broken when I see this happen between adult children and their elderly parents. The rolling eyes, the patronizing attitude as I watch an adult child treat their parent with such disdain just fills me with sadness. Shouldn’t someone who raised us be worthy of our respect?

Now, first let me state that I have not been in the place of taking care of elderly parents yet. All four of our parents are still very independent so please know that I am not casting a pointing finger of judgement at any of you. I know there are real challenges in being a caregiver for someone who resists your care.

Rather, what I hope to do with this post is to gently encourage you to consider your communication with and attitude towards your elderly parents. And your children. Your co-workers and fellow believers and family members and friends. And clerks and bank tellers and landscapers and the people who pick up your trash.

Because there is little more to crush the spirit of another than to act like you know everything and they know nothing. Anger and frustration quickly build when someone gives the impression that they are way more important than the other person. There are few things that will as quickly create barriers between people than for one person to make another one feel stupid.

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum on this. I used to be condescending on a regular basis with my husband. It shames me to say it, but it’s true. I am thankful that he brought this to my attention and that God has worked in my heart but I am still so imperfect in this area (as well as so many others!) And, as lowly landscapers, we often feel condescension from those who would never choose a laborious job such as working with their hands and digging in the dirt. Quite thankfully, we have so many wonderful customers that make up for those that would treat us like dirt–no pun intended!! ;)

And, as is the case with all sin, the ugly root of this sin is pride. And, once again, we see clear evidence that–

Pride destroys and humility repairs

Pride builds walls and humility tears them down

Pride leads to dissension and humility leads to harmony

 

Another thing we need to keep in mind in regards to condescension is that it can be done with a big smile and sweet words. Have you ever run into one of those people that appear so sweet and kind but underneath it is hardened pride that keeps you from having any productive conversations with them? They are condescending but it is in the nicest way. In some ways this is the art of making people feel small at its finest. It can be done while still maintaining a godly and wholesome reputation.

So how do we keep ourselves from falling prey to this sin? What can we do to make sure we don’t patronize others? These are two things that I have found helpful, so I am passing them along–

1. Remember how Jesus treated others.

Jesus was never patronizing with people. We read of so many accounts he had with others–Zaccheus, the Samaritan Woman, Nicodemus, and others and condescension is never conveyed by even the slightest word or deed. Even when Jesus was angry with the Pharisees for their false teaching, He demonstrated that anger in clearly communicated words and not through snide and sarcastic condescension. Jesus’s sinless example is the one we want to follow as we reflect on how we should treat others.

2. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

Mark 12:31 says this: And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Love your neighbor as yourself. How would you want someone to tell you a hard truth? How would you want your adult child to treat you if you were the elderly parent losing your ability to do things independently and your dignity right along with it? Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes and really take to heart how you would want to be treated if you were them.

 

Remembering these two things will bring a big change in this area of condescension. Keeping these in mind will fill us with a special grace and thoughtfulness that will naturally yield an attitude of loving-kindness and gentleness towards others rather than an air of superiority and disdain.

So let’s discard the tactless art of making people feel small and develop the art of making people feel special! Let’s eliminate the destructive root of pride that yields a superior, patronizing disdain for others and, instead, develop godly humility that tears down barriers and builds relationships.

This is God’s will for all of us, so we know His Holy Spirit will guide and direct us as we seek to make changes. We know that this is a prayer that God will answer if we are seriously seeking to do what’s right. God will be with us all as we seek to build rather than to tear down and as we strive to make others feel important and loved rather than stupid and worthless.

 

 

 

The Sure Road to Happiness

What is the sure road to happiness? This is a worthwhile question because there seems to be so little true happiness in this world. Even church-goers and those who claim Christ do not seem to show any real happiness (as opposed to fleeting merriment).

In my last post I shared with you a portion from Home Truths by J.C. Ryle which was about the counterfeit shortcuts we often try to take to happiness. They are many and we are all–even us Christians–guilty of turning off onto one of these shortcuts on occasion. But Ryle, in the next chapter, tells us about the sure road to happiness.

What he writes may go against all that the world says. It may even go against what the mainstream church is teaching these days. But should we be surprised at that?

One of the things I have often marveled at is that true happiness and true sense of purpose comes from yielding our lives to the Lord. What we most dread doing and often live in rebellion against is the one thing that will give us peace. It is a wonderful thing that what most pleases the Lord is what brings us true happiness! How kind of the Lord to create us in this way. True, unhindered surrender, submission, and obedience brings a very real happiness that no man can take away. This is an amazing truth from God’s Word that is so little spoken of today.

But I am jumping ahead of Ryle. Let’s see what he has to say–

(In order to keep this post from being too long, I had to cut out a bit of it. To read the entire chapter–which I highly recommend–you can purchase the book here. I get no proceeds from any purchases but simply want to let you know where to find it in case you want to read it.)

There is a sure path which leads to happiness, if men will only take it. There never lived the person who travelled in that path, and missed the object that he sought to attain.

It is a path open to all. It needs neither wealth, nor rank, nor learning, in order to walk in it. It is for the servant as well as for the master. It is for the poor as well as for the rich. None are excluded but those who exclude themselves.

It is the one only path. All that have ever been happy since the days of Adam have journeyed on it. There is no royal road to happiness. Kings must be content to go side by side with their humblest subjects, if they would be happy.

Reader, where is this path?

Where is this road? Listen and you shall hear. The way to be happy is to be a real, thorough-going, true-hearted Christian. Scripture declares it. Experience proves it. The converted man, the believer in Christ, the child of God, he and he alone is the happy man. It sounds too simple to be true. It seems at first sight so plain a receipt that it is not believed. But the greatest truths are often the simplest. The secret which many of the wisest on earth have utterly failed to discover, is revealed to the humblest believer in Christ. I repeat it deliberately, and defy the world to disprove it. The true Christian is the only happy man.

What do I mean when I speak of a true Christian? Do I mean everybody who goes to church or chapel? Do I mean everybody who professes an orthodox creed, and bows his head at the belief? Do I mean everybody who professes to love the Gospel? No! indeed! I mean something very different. All are not Christians who are called Christians. The man I have in view is the Christian in heart and life. He who has been taught by the Spirit really to feel his sins—he who really rests all his hopes on the Lord Jesus Christ, and His atonement—he who has been born again, and really lives a spiritual, holy life—he whose religion is not a mere Sunday coat, but a mighty constraining principle, governing every day of his life—he is the man I mean, when I speak of a true Christian.

“What do I mean when I say the true Christian is happy? Has he no doubts and no fears? Has he no anxieties and no troubles? Has he no sorrows and no cares? Does he never feel pain and shed no tears? Far be it from me to say anything of the kind. He has a body weak and frail like other men. He has affections and passions like every one born of woman. He lives in a changeful world. But deep down in his heart he has a mine of solid peace and substantial joy which is never exhausted. This is true happiness.”

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Do I say that real true Christians are equally happy at all times? No! not for a moment. All have their ebbs and flows of comfort; some like the Mediterranean sea, almost insensibly—some like the tide at Chepstow, fifty or sixty feet at a time. Their bodily health is not always the same. Their earthly circumstances are not always the same. The souls of those they love fill them, at seasons, with special anxiety. They themselves are sometimes overtaken by a fault, and walk in darkness. They sometimes give way to inconsistencies and besetting sins, and lose their sense of pardon. But as a general rule, the true Christian has a deep pool of peace within him, which even at the lowest is never entirely dry.[2] The true Christian is the only happy man, because his conscience is at peace. That mysterious witness for God, which is so mercifully placed within us, is fully satisfied and at rest. It sees in the blood of Christ a complete cleansing away of all its guilt. It sees in the priesthood and mediation of Christ a complete answer to all its fears. It sees that, through the sacrifice and death of Christ, God can now be just, and yet be the justifier of the ungodly. It no longer bites and stings and makes its possessor afraid of himself. The Lord Jesus Christ has amply met all its requirements.

Conscience is no longer the enemy of the true Christian, but his friend and adviser. Therefore he is happy.

The true Christian is the only happy man, because he can sit down quietly and think about his soul. He can look behind him and before him, he can look within him and around him, and feel, “all is well.”—He can think calmly on his past life, and however many and great his sins, take comfort in the thought that they are all forgiven. The righteousness of Christ covers all, as Noah’s flood over-topped the highest hills—He can think calmly about things to come, and yet not be afraid. Sickness is painful. Death is solemn. The judgment day is an awful thing. But having Christ for him, he has nothing to fear—He can think calmly about the Holy God whose eyes are on all his ways, and feel “He is my Father, my reconciled Father in Christ Jesus. I am weak. I am unprofitable. Yet in Christ He regards me as His dear child, and is well pleased.” Oh! what a blessed privilege it is to be able to think, and not be afraid! I can well understand the mournful complaint of the prisoner in solitary confinement. He had warmth, and food, and clothing, and work, but he was not happy. And why? He said, “he was obliged to think.”

The true Christian is the only happy man, because he has sources of happiness entirely independent of this world. He has something which cannot be affected by sickness and by deaths, by private losses and by public calamities, the peace of God which passeth all understanding. He has a hope laid up for him in heaven. He has a treasure which moth and rust cannot corrupt.

He has a house which can never be taken down. His loving wife may die, and his heart feel rent in twain. His darling children may he taken from him, and he may he left alone in this cold world. His earthly plans may be crossed. His health may fail. But all this time he has a portion which nothing can hurt. He has one friend who never dies. He has possessions beyond the grave, of which nothing can deprive him. His nether springs may fail, but his upper springs are never dry. This is real happiness.

The true Christian is happy, because he is in his right position. All the powers of his being are directed to right ends. His affections are not set on things below, but on things above. His will is not bent on self-indulgence, but is submissive to the will of God. His mind is not absorbed in wretched perishable trifles. It desires useful employment. It enjoys the luxury of doing good—Who does not know the misery of disorder? Who has not tasted the discomfort of a house, where everything and everybody are in their wrong places, the last things first and the first things last? The heart of an unconverted man is just such a house. Grace puts everything in that heart in its right position. The things of the soul come first, and the things of the world come second. Anarchy and confusion cease. Unruly passions no longer do each one what is right in his eyes. Christ reigns over the whole man and each part of him does his proper work. The new heart is the only really light heart, for it is the only heart that is in order—The true Christian has found out his place. He has laid aside his pride and self-will. He sits at the feet of Jesus, and is in his right mind. He loves God and loves man, and so he is happy. In heaven all are happy, because all do God’s will perfectly. The nearer a man gets to this standard the happier he will be.

Ah! reader, the plain truth is, that without Christ there is no happiness in this world. He alone can give the Comforter who abideth for ever. He is the sun; without Him men never feel warm. He is the light; without Him men are always in the dark. He is the bread; without Him men are always starving. He is the living water; without Him men are always athirst. Give them what you like—place them where you please—surround them with all the. comforts you can imagine—it makes no difference. Separate from Christ, the Prince of Peace, a man cannot be happy.

Give a man a sensible interest in Christ, and he will be happy in spite of poverty. He will tell you that he wants nothing that is really good. He is provided for. He has riches in possession, and riches in reversion. He has meat to eat that the world knows not of. He has friends who never leave him nor forsake him. The Father and the Son come to him, and make their abode with him. The Lord Christ sups with him, and he with Christ. (Revelation 3:20) Give a man a sensible interest in Christ, and he will be happy in spite of sickness. His flesh may groan and his body be worn out with pain, but his heart will rest and be at peace. One of the happiest people I ever saw was a young woman, who had been hopelessly ill for many years with disease of the spine. She lay in a garret without a fire. The straw thatch was not two feet above her face. She had not the slightest hope of recovery: but she was always rejoicing in the Lord Jesus. The spirit triumphed mightily over the flesh. She was happy, because Christ was with her.[3]

Give a man a sensible interest in Christ, and he will be happy in spite of abounding public calamities. The government of his country may be thrown into confusion. Rebellion and disorder may turn everything upside down. Laws may be trampled under foot. Justice and equity may be outraged. Liberty may be cast down to the ground. Might may prevail over right. But still his heart will not fail. He will remember that the kingdom of Christ will one day be set up. He will say like the old Scotch minister who lived unmoved throughout the turmoil of the first French revolution: “It is all right: it shall be well with the righteous.”

Reader, I know well that Satan hates the doctrine which I am endeavouring to press upon you. I have no doubt he is filling your mind with objections and reasonings, and persuading you that I am wrong. I am not afraid to meet these objections face to face. Let us bring them forward and see what they are.

You may tell me that “you know many very religious people who are not happy at all.” You see them diligent in attending public worship. You know that they are never missing at the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper. But you see in them no marks of the peace which I have been describing.

But are you sure ‘ that these people you speak of are true believers in Christ? Are you sure that with all their appearance of religion they are born again and converted to God? Is it not very likely that they have nothing but the name of Christianity without the reality, and a form of godliness without the power? Alas! reader, you have yet to learn that people may do many religious acts and yet possess no saving religion. It is not a mere formal, ceremonial Christianity that will ever make people happy. We want something more than going to church, and going to sacrament to give us peace. There must be real vital union with Christ. It is not the formal Christian, but the true Christian, that is the happy man.

You may tell me, that “you, know really spiritually-minded and converted people who do not seem happy.” You have heard them frequently complaining of their own hearts, and groaning over their own corruption. They seem to you all doubts and anxieties and fears. And you want to know, where is the happiness in these people of which I have been saying so much?

I do not deny that there are many saints of God such as these whom you describe, and I am sorry for it. I allow that there are many believers who live far below their privileges, and seem to know nothing of joy and peace in believing. But did you ever ask any of these people, whether they would give up the position in religion they have reached, and go back to the world? Did you ever ask them, after all their groanings, and doublings, and fearings, whether they think they would be happier, if they ceased to follow hard after Christ? Did you ever ask these questions? I am ‘ certain if you did, that the weakest and lowest believers would all give you one answer. I am certain they would tell you that they would rather cling to their little scrap of hope in Christ, than possess the world. I am sure they would all answer, “Our faith is weak, if we have any—our grace is small, if we have any—our joy in Christ is next to nothing at all—but we cannot give up what we have got. Though the Lord slay us, we must cling to Him.” Ah! reader, the root of happiness lies deep in many a poor weak believer’s heart, when neither leaves nor blossoms are to be seen.

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{Now} let me offer a few hints to all true Christians for the increase and promotion of their happiness. I offer these hints with diffidence. I desire to apply them to my own conscience as well as to your’s. You have found Christ’s service happy. I have no doubt that you feel such sweetness in Christ’s peace, that you would fain know more of it. I am sure that these hints deserve attention.

Believers, if you would have an increase of happiness in Christ’s service, labour every year to grow in grace. Beware of standing still. The holiest men are always the happiest. Let your aim be every year to be more holy, to know more, to feel more, to see more of the fulness of Christ. Best not upon old grace. Do not be content with the degree of religion whereunto you have attained. Search the Scriptures more earnestly. Pray more fervently. Hate sin more. Mortify self-will more. Become more humble the nearer you draw to your end. Seek more direct personal communion with the Lord Jesus. Strive to he more like Enoch, daily walking with God. Keep your conscience clear of little sins. Grieve not the Spirit. Avoid wranglings and disputes about the lesser matters of religion. Lay more firm hold upon those great truths, without which no man can be saved. Remember and practise these things, and you will be more happy.

Believers, if you would have an increase of happiness in Christ’s service, labour every year to be more thankful. Pray that you may know more and more what it is to “rejoice in the Lord.” Learn to have a deeper sense of your own wretched sinfulness and corruption, and to be more deeply grateful, that by the grace of God you are what you are. Alas! there is too much complaining and too little thanksgiving among the people of God. There is too much murmuring and poring over the things that we have not. There is too little praising and blessing for the many undeserved mercies that we have. Oh! that God would pour out upon us a greater spirit of thankfulness and praise!

Believers, if you would have an increase of happiness in Christ’s service, labour every year to do more good. Look round the circle in which your lot is cast, and lay yourself out to be useful. Strive to be of the same character with God. He is not only good but “doeth good.” Alas! there is far too much selfishness among believers in the present day. There is far too much lazy sitting by the fire, nursing our own spiritual diseases, and croaking over the state of our own hearts. Up! and be useful in your day and generation! Is there no one in all the world that you can read to? Is there no one that you can speak to? Is there no one that you can write to? Is there literally nothing that you can do for the glory of God, and the benefit of your fellow men? Oh! I cannot think it, I cannot think it. There is much that you might do, if you had only the will. For your own happiness sake, arise and do it without delay. The bold, outspeaking, working Christians are always the happiest. The more you do for God the more God will do for you. Reader, I ask you to ponder the things I have been saying. May you never rest till you can give a satisfactory answer to my question, ARE YOU HAPPY?

Reader, if you are able to answer my question satisfactorily, I ask you never to forget that great decision in Christ’s service is the secret of great happiness. The compromising, lingering Christian must never expect to taste perfect peace. THE MOST DECIDED CHRISTIAN WILL ALWAYS BE THE HAPPIEST MAN.

 

 

Ryle, J.C. . Home Truths. E4 Group. Kindle Edition.

It’s Not Just a Book!

This probably isn’t going to be the most popular post I’ve ever written but it may be one of the most important. It won’t be the most popular–not because it is controversial or has a message people hate–but because this is something so many just don’t really care about. It’s rarely taught anymore and that’s probably because it’s something that doesn’t meet “felt needs” or provide any specific application.

But, oh, it is so critical we understand this as believers so that we can protect ourselves from the very real danger of false doctrine and from that self-centered religion that calls itself by the name of Christianity but looks nothing like it.

What is this, you may ask?

Well, it’s about the Bible. Understanding just what it is and being dedicated to interpreting it correctly. In other words: dividing it rightly. Officially it’s called Hermeneutics.

Hermeneutics is a big word, but it simply means this (according to dictionary.com): the science of interpretation, especially of the Scriptures.

I was listening to a powerful sermon yesterday entitled “Cutting it Straighter” by Dr. Abner Chou. He is a professor at the Masters University, so it was more like a lecture and there was a lot to take in because he talks pretty fast. But I was absolutely struck with just how important it is that we approach the scriptures with the right hermeneutics. Improper hermeneutics is the path to all false teaching.

Dr. Chou encouraged his listeners to first have a hermeneutic of surrender. We must be willing to bow our knee to what the scripture says. He went on to say how important it is that we know what the author intended to say.

Not what we want it to say. Not what it seems to say at first glance. Not some lesson we like that we can squeeze out of a particular passage. But what the author intended to say.

Have you ever thought of that before? This sermon was for pastors who are weekly expositing the Word before their congregations, but it is helpful for any of us who are in the Word on a regular basis.

For, you see, reading the Bible is only half of the equation. How we approach what we read is equally important.

Have you ever heard someone say that they read their Bible every day and yet they have no fruit to show for it? This is because they do not have a hermeneutic of surrender.

So just what is the Bible? Why does it matter? I thought it might be a good idea to just give an overview of this marvelous book to increase our awe of it and its contents. To give us the bigger picture of God’s plan. This will help us to remember that the Bible isn’t just about us in this minuscule bit of time and space. It will help us to understand that there is great value to all verses of the Bible–not just the ones that comfort and encourage us. And it will remind us of the Author, Who, behind the scenes, has woven all of scripture together and then preserved it so perfectly, that it can only be described as miraculous.

There are 66 books in the Bible. They were written over a period of 15 centuries by over 40 different authors. It is broken down into the Old Testament, which has 39 books and the New Testament, which has 27 books.

 

The Old Testament focuses on the history of Israel and the promise of the coming Savior.

The New Testament focuses on the person of Christ and the establishment of the Church.

 

The Old Testament is broken down into five categories–

1. The Law (5 books: Genesis – Deuteronomy)

2. History (12 books: Joshua – Esther)

3. Wisdom (5 books: Job – Song of Solomon)

4. Major Prophets (5 books: Isaiah – Daniel)

5. Minor Prophets (12 books: Hosea – Malachi)

 

There were then 400 years of silence that was broken by the arrival of John the Baptist announcing that the promised Savior had come.

 

The New Testament is broken down in this way–

1. The four Gospels record the birth, life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. Of special note: Matthew looks at Christ through the perspective of His Kingdom; Mark through the perspective of His servanthood; Luke through the perspective of His humanness; and John through the perspective of His deity.

2. Acts records the impact of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, which results in the establishment of the Church.

3. The 21 epistles are written to churches and individuals to explain the significance of the person and work of Jesus Christ.

4. Revelation which starts by recording the current church age and culminates with Christ’s return to establish His earthly kingdom.

 

Every portion of scripture–whether Old or New Testament– relates to one of these dominant themes–

1. The character and attributes of God.

2. The tragedy of sin and disobedience to God’s holy standard.

3. The blessedness of faith and obedience to God’s standard.

4. The need for a Savior by whose righteousness and substitution sinners can be forgiven, declared just, and transformed.

5. The coming glorious end of redemptive history in the Lord Savior’s earthly kingdom and the subsequent eternal reign and glory of God and Christ.

(The above is from Biblical Doctrine , pages 42-47, by John MacArthur and Richard Mayhue)

 

Answers in Genesis also provides a framework through which we can understand the overall themes of scripture. As Ken Ham and Stacia McKeever put it here in this article: Most people look at the Bible as a book that contains many interesting stories and theological teaching. While this is true, the Bible is so much more—it’s a history book that reveals the major events of history that are foundational to the Bible’s important messages.

They have come up with these 7 C’s that will help us to remember the Bible’s overall theme and message–

1. Creation (In the beginning…)

2. Corruption (Adam and Eve and original sin)

3. Catastrophe (The Great Flood)

4. Confusion (Tower of Babel)

5. Christ (The Coming of Jesus Christ to earth the first time)

6. Cross (Jesus’s death on the cross and sacrifice for sin brings hope to all)

7. Consummation (The second coming and final reign of Jesus Christ!)

 

Okay, so that is a lot of information. And even this is just touching the surface, quite honestly. So what is my purpose in giving it to you? I want you to see that the Bible is not just some book that is full of unrelated verses. It is not just a book that we should let lie around gathering dust while we read the fodder of modern man and their take on the Bible. No!

It is a book that we should pick up daily with reverence and awe. It is something that should be studied with diligence and a desire to know and understand the bigger picture. And it is something that should be approached with humility and surrender and a willingness to obey. It is critical for us to interpret in context and to be dedicated to using sound, biblical resources as we seek to understand what the Word says. We must use the proper hermeneutic and take care to divide it rightly. Because…

It’s not just a book!

 

What Does the Bible Say About… (Our Response to False Teachers)?

While many, many people minimize the Bible–or even discard it completely–as they try to live out their “Christian lives”, there are many who just don’t know what it says. This new series “What Does the Bible Say About…” is for those of you who just don’t know. While I can’t make someone care about what the Bible says, I can help those of you that truly desire to know the truth found in God’s Word. Whether you are a new believer or you are someone who has been deceived by false doctrine and God is now opening your eyes or you are simply filled with a fresh hunger to know God’s Word and what it says, this series is for you.

So few people know what the Bible teaches about things anymore that most conversations are simply about personal opinions. But personal opinions (including mine) do not matter. Only what God says matters and we can only find this in God’s written Word: the Holy Bible. It is my desire that this series will help you learn what God has to say about certain topics and that, in learning this, you will be better able to sort through all of the stuff that comes your way when these topics are brought up at church, at family gatherings, or at work.

I have a few ideas about topics, but if you have any you’d like me to cover, please email me at leslie {at} growing4life {dot} net. I will be happy to do some research and dig in the Word to find answers, as my time allows.

This first installment will focus on false teachers. What exactly does the Bible teach about false teachers and our response to them? This seems like a good topic, because I am regularly called to task for pointing out false teachers or errant doctrine. I am told that I am being unloving and unkind and should focus elsewhere. I know that this same thing happens to many of you, as well. But what does the Word say about false teachers? Because that is all we really need to know.

So let’s start off by taking a little quiz and then I will cover each question, one-by-one below.

Okay, so do you have your answers in your head? Time to see what scripture has to say…

1. FALSE. Jesus did publicly denounce both the Pharisses and the Sadducees in Matthew 16. He does so again in Matthew 23. In Matthew 15:12-14 Jesus warns his disciples to stay away from the Pharisees–

Then His disciples came and said to Him, “Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?”13 But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14 Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch.”

While Jesus was always extremely kind and loving to those who were lost (such as Zacchaeus and the Samaritan Woman), we know that He treated false teachers–those who would pervert truth–with harshness. He even drove out the money changers and upturned the tables in the temple in righteous anger because these evil men were offending God’s Holy name (Matthew 21:12-13).

It is really important that we know and understand the Jesus of the Bible, rather than get our information from people who claim to “hear personal messages from Him” and describe Jesus from a source from which we have no way of knowing to be true. While that “Jesus” may be more appealing, the Jesus we find in the Bible is the real Jesus. And the real Jesus did not hesitate to call out false teachers.

2. FALSE. Calling out false teachers and making others aware of false teaching is actually one of the most loving things we can do. Think of it like this: If someone is running at top speed towards a cliff, would you just let them fall off the edge without shouting out a warning? Warning of false teachers is no different. Spiritual danger and calamity abounds when we leave the solid ground of sound doctrine and fall off the cliff and on to the hard, jagged rocks of false teaching. True loves calls out a warning. Paul puts it like this in Ephesians 4:14-16:

that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

These verses make it clear that in order to have healthy growth in the body of Christ, we must hold truth in high esteem. Otherwise, we will be misguided and deceived by the trickery of men and carried away by false doctrine. This will lead to division and strife (which is exactly what we are seeing take place today).

And I John 3:18 confirms this, as well:

My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

Speaking the truth is how we show love. Another example would be this: Let’s say your best friend finds out that your husband is having an affair. What is the most loving thing for her to do? Simply ignore it and pretend it isn’t happening? Is this what a loving friend who cares about you would do? Of course not. True friends tell the truth because they care more about the long-term ramifications and devastating consequences that will affect their friend than they care about the short-term hurt feelings and unpleasantness that may result from speaking the truth.

And I Timothy 3:3-6 clarifies and confirms this even further–

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia—remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine, nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith. Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith, from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk, desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor the things which they affirm.

Real division and disputes are caused by those who bring in the false teaching. Not by those who lovingly confront it. How backwards and upside down the church has become. We have swallowed unbiblical, politically-correct thinking “hook, line, and sinker”.

3. TRUE. We have several examples of Paul naming names in scripture. See 2 Timothy 1:15 and 4:14. Another example is 2 Timothy 2:16-18–

And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort, 18 who have strayed concerning the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past; and they overthrow the faith of some.

We also see that John was unafraid to call out a false teacher in 3 John, verses 9-10:

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. 10 Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church.

If we have several examples of this in the scriptures from Jesus, Paul, and John, shouldn’t we naturally assume that it is not sinful to call out a false teacher? In fact, should we not consider it our duty? Let’s look at a few verses that command us to call out false teaching and false teachers–

Ephesians 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

Romans 16:17-18 Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. 18 For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus[d] Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.

Jude 3-4 Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God[b] and our Lord Jesus Christ.

4. FALSE. We are not to accept every wave of doctrine so that we can preserve unity. We can see this from the verses right above. We also know that Scripture teaches that true unity can only be protected by keeping our doctrine pure. I Timothy 6:3-5 says this:

If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.

From such withdraw yourself. Notice it does not say “unify with” or “compromise”. Instead it says we are to withdraw ourselves from those who do not teach the truth.

5. FALSE. We know that unity cannot be more important than truth, because Jesus Himself says this in Luke 12:49-53:

I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is accomplished! 51 Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division. 52 For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three. 53 Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

If unity were more important, He would never have said such a thing. But from these verses we can also realize that there are two paths that can never be unified. They are in complete opposition to one another and go two completely different directions. This is further confirmed in Matthew 7:13-14, where Jesus contrasts the narrow way with the broad way of destruction:

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because[a] narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

From these verses, we know that there is the path of truth and there is the path of falsehood and destruction and the two can never be unified. Therefore, truth will always have to trump the false unity that comes from compromising with unbiblical teaching. Compromised doctrine or teaching will automatically lead people to the broad road of destruction. Just as a drop of poison contaminates a clear glass of water, so even a drop of false teaching leads people away from the narrow path.

6. FALSE. I am not sure how so many passages on false teaching can be so intentionally ignored, but the Bible is clear in a number of places that false teaching is a very real thing and that we must be concerned about it–

I John 4:1-3 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that[a] Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.

2 Peter 2:1-3 But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed. By covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words; for a long time their judgment has not been idle, and their destruction does[a] not slumber.

2 Corinthians 11:12-15 But what I do, I will also continue to do, that I may cut off the opportunity from those who desire an opportunity to be regarded just as we are in the things of which they boast. 13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.

Matthew 7:15-20 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

I Thessalonians 5:21-22 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

7. TRUE. We do know that false teaching will continue to grow as we approach the last days, since the Bible makes this very clear–

Matthew 24:23-25 Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There!’ do not believe it. 24 For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. 25 See, I have told you beforehand.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Timothy 3:13-15 But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

 

This is not my normal kind of post. However, it is my prayer that this post will not only help those who honestly want to know what the Bible says about false teachers, but that it can also be bookmarked and used as a reference for those of you who are faced with accusations that you are being divisive and unkind and unloving when you call out a false teacher. The verses above should bolster and encourage us when we are ready to cave or to just be quiet. God’s Word reminds us that we are doing the right thing by calling out false teaching and false teachers.

More and more, people will throw accusations as you seek to protect and defend God and the truth of His Word. They will marginalize you, call you names, and be angry with you. But we must be like soldiers and put on our spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:13f). We must be filled with love and grace as we fight, but we cannot back down. It takes a great deal of courage but God is faithful and He will give us the strength and boldness we need. Keep up the good fight, dear readers. Keep up the good fight.

 

 

 

How Do I Respond to My Enemies?

So often Christians find themselves at odd with other Christians. There will be two true believers who just do not agree. Whether it’s a disagreement over something as simple as a remodeling project at church or it’s a deeper issue of how a certain scripture passage should be interpreted, we will always find someone that we will disagree with about something.

What keeps two people who disagree with each other from being enemies? What brings true Christian unity?

Please keep in mind that this post is referring to unity between true believers and not to the “fake” unity that warmly embraces all perversions of the Gospel and even religions that don’t adhere to the Gospel at all to be unified under the broad term of “Christianity”. We know that this kind of unity is not biblical, according to Galatians 1:9–

As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.

But there is something that is called true, Christian unity. This unity can only exist between brothers and sisters in Christ. This kind of unity keeps us moving toward the same goals and embracing the same purpose. This unity builds bridges instead of walls. It will fill Christians with loving concern for one another instead of filling them with grudges, resentment, and jealousy.

This sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it? But it is often hard to find. Why is this?

Why does someone decide they do not like someone?

Sometimes we don’t care for someone based on a shallow, silly thing. And then there are also better reasons, based on things like biblical error or a prideful, arrogant spirit that is consistently divisive.

But we have to ask ourselves: Are any of these reasons good enough? If you were to stand before God today and tell Him your reason for not liking a certain person, would He say, “Way to go, my child. I agree with you completely.” ??

Of course we know the answer, don’t we? Because we know that God is love. We shouldn’t view anyone as an enemy, much less a brother or sister in Christ.

Romans 12:8 puts it like this–

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

We should, to the best of our ability, work at being at peace with everyone, believer and non-believer. This verse naturally brings two thoughts to my mind.

First, what if someone won’t be at unity with me?

Of course, since we know that the world will hate us (John 15:19), we know that it isn’t always possible to be at peace with those in the world. But sometimes it is a fellow Christian who refuses to forgive us. Or perhaps they just don’t like us but won’t tell us why. What then? These kinds of situations are heart-breaking and lead to feelings of helplessness as we try to navigate the back-biting, the whispering, and the cold shoulders.

I have a friend who taught me an important lesson about this very thing. Our daughters were playing soccer together and something happened to her little girl that could have started some real drama on the team. And this was her advice to her daughter, “kill them with kindness”. I heard her say that so often when her daughter would feel slighted or frustrated about something. And then, following her example, I started to say this to my kids. Yes, this is what we are called to do.

In fact, Jesus takes it even further in Matthew 5:43-44, telling us to love them, bless them, do good to them, and to pray for them!–

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

This is a tall order, is it not? But there it is. Commanded by Jesus in the Holy Bible. Instead of gossiping, instead of returning the coldness, instead of resentment or anger, we love, we bless, we do good things, and we pray for them.

But we do this because it is right, not because it will necessarily change anything. Let’s go back to the beginning of Romans 12:18–

“if it is possible, as much as it depends on you”

We know from these words that Paul realized it isn’t always possible. It is part of living life as a sinner, alongside sinners, in a fallen world. Sometimes we just have to follow Jesus’s words and find contentment even when there is no resolution and no forgiveness. A hard thing, indeed. But, you know what? This is just another thing that God uses to grow us and to teach us that we must find our peace and joy in Him alone.

Second, we won’t be best friends with everyone.

Even among truly unified Christian brothers and sisters, there will be those who are “kindred spirits” and those who are not. And that’s okay. But so often special friendships between Christians are viewed with resentment or jealousy. As believers we should realize that we will be better friends with some than others. It is how God designed us. Remember David and Jonathan? If you read I Samuel 18, you will realize that their friendship was very special. Once in a while, God will bring these special Christian friends into our world. They are true treasures and, instead of feeling jealous, we should be glad for others if they have found a special friend.

If we are still longing for this type of friendship, then pray and ask God to bring you a friend. I remember as a young mom feeling the need for this type of friend and so, unbeknownst to me, my mom started praying. And within a year or so of her prayers, God led me to Deb. We realized we were kindred spirits as we sat in a group of women and chatted and, shortly after, became best friends. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer if you need a friend!

And then there are those fellow Christians in our lives who could never be a kindred spirit. In fact, some of them drive us a little crazy. We may feel guilty if we don’t appreciate a Christian brother or sister like we know we should. What then?

God made us all different and certain personalities may grate on us. We may find them hard to get along with or their mannerisms alone might irritate us. They may be boastful or arrogant.

But if we take a look at Philippians 2:1-2, we have to acknowledge that God doesn’t give us any caveat for difficult people–

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

We are to be like-minded with all Christians–as much as it depends on us. We obviously can’t control the other person.

So how do we do this? How can we be like-minded? These verses show us–we have the same love, the same accord, the same mind as our fellow Christians. This can only be done if we are diligently studying the scriptures together, submitting our desires and wills to God, joyfully obeying the commands we find there, while increasing our knowledge of God. When people are not getting along, it often goes back to this. Biblical illiteracy once again rears its ugly head in church matters.

And, along with knowing God’s Word, we find the oil that keeps things working together smoothly in Colossians 3:14–

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I Corinthians 13:4-6 gives us a description of this love that will break down barriers and bind Christians together in perfect unity–

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And I Peter 4:8 is further confirmation of this idea that love will bring unity–

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Even when we don’t particularly appreciate a fellow Christian, we can love them. We are commanded to love them. And we should thank the Lord for them, for they are helping us to grow in patience and self-control!

Enemies are just part of life. If we are going to take any stand at all on the things that matter, we will have enemies. We cannot control how they treat us, but we can control how we treat them. And let’s intentionally work at not having needless enemies. We must back away from the stuff that doesn’t matter. Will it matter in a hundred years what color carpet is used in the church? Is a slight difference in how someone interprets the book of Revelation really a cause for division? Let’s wisely and, oh so carefully, choose our battles. Most hills we choose to stand on are just not worth dying on. We don’t always have to be right. We don’t always have to have our way. So often it just doesn’t matter.

And most of all, when we find ourselves in the midst of a heated disagreement with a fellow Christian or facing a full-blown enemy, then let’s love them. Love them, bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. If you don’t remember anything else from this post, I hope you will remember these words of Jesus.

 

How Do You Listen to Gossip?

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you are talking about a TV show like it’s really happening? The people, the situations, the happenings? I had one of those the other day and as I walked away from that conversation, I realized that we often have more loyalty for and kindness and grace towards people on TV.

I know it seems silly to even compare the two, since we are obviously personally affected by real people so that makes all the difference in the world, but it does seem sad that we can keep so level-headed and impartial when discussing TV friends and completely lose that when discussing real people.

Of course, we shouldn’t really be discussing real people most of the time. Sure, there are instances where we need to work through a problem with a trusted, godly friend or mentor, but, overall, we should not be talking about people. Ephesians 4:29 says this: Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

But this is not a post about spreading or speaking gossip. It’s a post about listening to gossip and our subsequent actions after we’ve heard it.

So many of us hear will listen to someone talk about someone and, instead of defending them or kindly asking them to stop, we will just jump right in and join the conversation. Or we will listen without speaking while making assumptions that will change our friendship with the person being spoken about. There is no grace. No kindness. No loyalty.

Or perhaps someone will talk about someone behind their back, telling you terrible things that person said about you. What do you do? Do you do what you should?

This happened to friends of ours. But let me first give some background. We had made a really, really tough decision after much prayer and agony. Because of the nature of the decision, there were many rumors flying around about us and lies told. We know of at least three specific lies that were told about us that made their way to our ears “through the grapevine”.

But only one couple actually loved us enough to call us. The wife called and asked us specifically if we had said such-and-such about them. My heart sank when I realized that someone I had trusted had said such a vicious thing about us. But, even in my dismay, I realized that this couple–instead of believing the worst–loved us enough to confront us and ask us about it.

We lost a lot of friends through those swirls of rumors and accusations, but these two remain our friends to this day. They exemplified what true biblical love and friendship are. They didn’t believe the worst about us, as seems to be the natural thing to do, but they bravely went right to the source. They cared enough to ask.

So what do we do when we hear gossip? Do we automatically believe it? Do we jump on the bandwagon and join the fun? Do we internalize it and allow it to create a cool distance with the person who has absolutely no idea what was said behind their back?

We have to be oh, so careful of this, don’t we? So many of us who wouldn’t ever be caught gossiping just aren’t very good at listening to gossip.

So how should we listen to gossip? Let’s see what scripture says–

First, we should view them as innocent until proven guilty. If there is a personal accusation involved, ask them lovingly and kindly if the words spoken are true. If they aren’t, move on. If they are, forgive and move on. Life is just too short for grudges. It really is. (Of course, this is the “simplified model” of relationships and it doesn’t always work. Especially with those who have no evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.)

Colossians 3:12-14  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Second, we should not let it affect our relationship with them. Does it really matter? Does it affect you personally? If the answer is no (and most times it is) then just continue your relationship with that person. Remember that you don’t know any of the details at all. You don’t know the situations, the circumstances, the agony, the fear, the anxiety that was all part of that person’s journey to whatever choice they made. Unless it is something that is currently hurting you, them, or others around them, just forget you heard it. We all have done things in the past we aren’t proud of, am I right??

Luke 6:31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 

Third, if what you hear is about a Christian involved in sin (such as that person is involved in an affair or addicted to a substance), prayerfully consider speaking to them about it. Talk with a trusted leader in your church or some other godly person you know to ask for their advice.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Fourth, pray for that person. Instead of letting gossip fill your heart with disgust or anger or frustration, let it fill your heart with love and compassion that will remind you to pray. Oh, how often we accuse, examine, and talk about without ever lifting that person up before the throne of Grace.

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses[e] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Fifth, and when appropriate, steer the conversation a different way. You be the one to change the course of the discussion. Instead of joining, be the deflector. Instead of listening, be the one who changes the direction.

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

 

As always, I offer this post not as someone who has this nailed down but, instead, as a lowly servant of Jesus Christ who still struggles with all of this. As I write, I can see so many weaknesses in my own handling of gossip. God’s Word powerfully convicts you and me to grow in our faith and move beyond the status quo Christianity that so easily ensnares us.

I leave you with these beautiful verses from I Corinthians 13. We most often hear these spoken at weddings, as two people pledge their lives to one another. But perhaps we should read them every day. They remind us of not only the spirit with which we should listen to gossip, but also give us a pattern for how we should treat others in every other way, as well.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

 

The Chains of “Cool”

I am not sure what the latest word is that would describe someone who is dressed in the latest fashions and has the latest everything. We used to say they were “cool” and then “hip”. I am not sure what that word is now. (Yes, I know I am definitely showing my age here, but hopefully you will stick with me…)

When we were teens we were so driven by peer pressure. Can you remember those days? When I was in high school, the “in” thing to have was designer jeans. Jordache, Calvin Klein, and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were the thing to wear. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up but my mom took me school shopping late one summer and we found a good deal on Calvin Klein jeans. Wow, those jeans made me feel amazing! I finally looked “cool” (at least I thought I did–I’m not sure that anyone else thought that!)

We often think peer pressure is for young ones and goes away as we get older, but it really doesn’t. For some of us it does get better, but for many of us we continue to live driven by what people think of us.

Now, before we dig a little deeper into this subject of adult peer pressure, there is value in considering the thoughts and feelings of others. Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 8, where he is discussing things eaten to idols. In verse 9 he reminds us that we should think of others as we make choices that we have the freedom to make in Christ–

But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.

There are many other verses in the New Testament that would encourage us to think of and love others (check out Philippians 2:3-4, I Corinthians 13, and I John 3).

So, of course, we know we must consider the thoughts and feelings of others. But notice that these verses are always “others” centered. Every one of the verses above and any other verse you will find about how we treat others in the New Testament is based on minimizing self, while focusing our attention on the other person.

Contrast this thought to the chains of “cool” (as I call them), which are completely focused on self. They are an obsession with making sure that we are thought of highly, that people think we have it all. They bring a preoccupation with the world’s styles, trends, and happenings. These chains keep us from speaking up about God and from sharing the Gospel. They are often the driving force behind the laughs at dirty jokes and the silent participation in things we know God hates.

These chains become a prison from which no action can be done without first thinking of its affect on what people will think of us. Rather than God’s desires and looking to His Word, these chains become the driving force behind what we wear, what we watch, what we do.

They are really a tiresome and ugly taskmaster but no one seems to care all that much. Looking like everyone else around us can become such an ingrained idol, that we soon grow used to those chains, forgetting the wonderful freedom we have in Christ.

(You have to wonder what kind of role peer pressure has played in history. Was it part of how Hitler became the chancellor of Germany and convinced young people to take part in the genocide of Jews? Is it how he got the German Christians to ignore what was going on around them? It is a powerful, powerful tool in the hands of the wrong man.)

So how do we make sure that peer pressure isn’t what is driving us personally? How do we keep free from the bondage of those chains of “cool”?

The first place (and really only place) to look for answers is the Bible. It is a hard discussion to have because what the Bible teaches goes against all that the world and even the church is saying currently. The world is telling us we must be like them in order to have any respect at all. The world would have us give up all biblical convictions and cave on the most basic of principles in order to be liked by them. This has led to great compromise, as we watch more and more churches capitulate to the demands of the world. Meanwhile, the mainstream church is saying we must be like the world to win the world. The great sin of the day is irrelevance. One has to wonder how low the view of God must be for someone who perpetuates this viewpoint but it is incredibly popular. So much so that it is now woven into the thought patterns of most young people and many old ones, as well. But, as we will will see below, this is actually in opposition to what the Bible teaches.

Let’s unpack this a bit and look at what God has to say about these things.

First, let’s look at what our view of the world’s opinions should be. There are many verses that talk about how we should view the world, but I am going to share James 4:4, which makes it extremely clear–

Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

There is no ambiguity here. You cannot be friends with the world and with God at the same time. Think of a big river. The world is headed one way and the Christian is swimming upstream in the other direction, in complete opposition to the world. We cannot be swimming downstream and still claim to be God’s child. James couldn’t be any clearer on this point.

Practically speaking, this means that while there is nothing innately wrong with dressing stylishly or going to the movies or whatever, the driving force behind our choice should never be our desire to be like everyone else. Our choices shouldn’t be driven by our fear of the world’s derision, marginalization, and persecution.

Now, if you are being honest with yourself at this point, you will agree with me that this is much easier to write and read than to live out. We are naturally driven by our desire to fit in. It takes great intention and strength to stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of a crowd. It is not an easy path. But we know it is the path of the Christian. Jesus tells us this in John 15:19–

If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

And Paul confirms Jesus’s words in 2 Timothy 3:12–

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

These aren’t our favorite verses and I rather guess they are rarely chosen for Bible memory, and yet these are just two verses of many more that would remind us that we will not be loved by the world if we walk with Jesus Christ.

I don’t love to be reminded of this any more than you do, but it is the truth, according to the Bible.

Now, let’s look a bit at the church’s argument that we won’t win anyone to the Gospel without being like them. What does the Bible have to say about this?

The verse that always comes to mind when this discussion comes up is John 6:44–

No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.

In this verse, Jesus reminds us that it is the Father who draws man unto Himself. There is nothing we can do to make someone become saved.  Ephesians 1:3-6 further elaborates on this same theme–

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

These verses teach us that the salvation of those we love and care about is not based on what we do or do not do. Now, that being said, God does choose to use us to win souls for Him. But what we must remember is that He doesn’t need us. These verses shouldn’t keep us from sharing the Gospel but they should most definitely keep us from compromising our convictions and participating in sinful things under the guise of “winning people to Christ”. God chooses to use us but He doesn’t need our compromise and dalliances with the world to further His kingdom. In contrast, James would tell us to remain unspotted from the world (James 1:27). (And may I suggest that prayer would be a much better way to win those we love. God answers prayer! It is a much more effective tool than worldliness!)

I wish I could tell you that I have never worn the chains of “cool”. I really do. But, unfortunately, sometimes before I even realize it, I find myself in bondage to them once again. Thankfully, the Word is the key that unlocks the lock to those chains. When I get back into the Word, when I stay in the Word, that is when I am least vulnerable to these chains.

If you find yourself really driven by what other people think of you, I hope that you will get into the Word and dig deeper into this subject. There is so much there that I wasn’t able to include in this short post.

Let’s unlock that lock and shake off those chains, so that we can be vibrant, courageous, and unwavering testimonies for Christ.

Are You Treating God Like Your Personal Genie?

At the beginning of this year, I asked God to teach me how to pray. I have felt for a long time that this is an area of my life that is sorely lacking. It’s not that I haven’t been praying at all but I was keenly aware that when it came to the topic of prayer, I was just not what I was supposed to be.

God has been answering my prayer and He is teaching me a lot. One of the things He has been teaching me I’d like to share with you here today. We probably all know this already (I did), but sometimes a good reminder is just what is needed to get us back on the right path.

Somehow in 2018 we have landed in a world that is all about self. Self-advancement, Self-centeredness, Self-indulgence, Self-aggrandizement. All of life is all about self for most everyone. We can see this in our workplaces, restaurants, stores, sports fields, and even in our churches. We especially see this in families, where moms and dads are often off busy chasing their dreams while they leave their kids to be raised by strangers. This is probably worth a post itself but I really just needed this paragraph to remind us of how selfish we really have become as a whole in this current age.

And, as believers, while we know we are to be the opposite of all of the above, we can sometimes get caught up in this, as well. Sometimes without thinking. And I believe one of the ways this happens is in our prayer lives.

How often do we treat God like our personal genie? Asking only for the things we need and want personally? Asking (and maybe sometimes even demanding?) for the things that affect us in some way. And yet how often we never find the time to spend time praising and thanking God or to bring the requests of others before His throne.

As I was thinking about this a bit this morning, I thought of my relationship with my kids. If all they ever did was to ask for things from me or to use me and my resources to their advantage, I would not feel very loved. And I think we can say that this would be an indication that they don’t love me. At the very least, we can be sure that they love themselves more than they love me. This doesn’t really lead to a healthy relationship, does it?

James 4:3 describes a skewed prayer life by putting it like this: You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

When we ask out of wrong and selfish motives, we ask amiss. Sometimes we can fall into this pattern without thinking–trying to use our relationship with the Almighty, Omnipotent Creator to our own advantage. We can find ourselves always asking, always taking.

So how do we keep this from happening? What steps can we take to have a healthier prayer life? Here are five things that will help–

1. Spend the first few minutes of our prayer time in praise and adoration.

2. Spend some time thanking God for answered prayer requests. Thank Him for how He has worked in our life and for what He has already provided.

3. Spend time in His Word with a submissive and obedient heart, reading what He has to say to us with a willingness to live it out.

4. Submit our wills to God’s with all requests. Never demand, but ask with a heart that will take “No” for an answer without getting mopey or holding a grudge.

5. Live righteously before God, pleasing Him with our actions and obeying His commands, so that He knows we truly do love Him and we don’t just view Him as our magic genie in the sky.

Prayer is a tough thing, especially now that it has been hijacked. Satan has badly mangled it by bringing contemplative prayer to the scene, turning it into a self-centered (notice that word “self” yet again) time of experience and feelings. But prayer isn’t about what we can get. It’s about God and our relationship with Him. It is an opportunity for us to praise and worship God each and every day. It is an opportunity for us to submit our wills and lives to Him as a living sacrifice. AND it is also an opportunity to bring our requests before Him. Yes, we should do this. He wants us to do this. But let’s be careful that selfish requests aren’t the only thing we are bringing before Him, lest we fall into the trap of treating God like He is our personal genie, waiting to do our bidding.

 

P.S. If you want to know how to pray biblically, Jesus told us Himself in Matthew 6:9-13–

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.[a]
10 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,[b]
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread,[c]
12 and forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from evil.[d]

Notice that He doesn’t tell us to be silent before Him or to wait for Him to speak to us. If this was critical to our personal prayer time, I am quite sure Jesus would have mentioned that here where He is teaching His disciples how to pray. The fact that this type of prayer is never recommended in scripture anywhere should be enough to keep us far away from this type of mystical praying that comes straight from eastern religions and Catholic monasticism and has nothing to with biblical prayer.

 

The Essential Importance of the Cross

On Sunday we will celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God’s Son who died on a cruel cross on Calvary was raised again to give us victory over sin and death. We are saved by grace alone through faith alone. According to scripture, there is no other way for us to be saved (John 14:6; Ephesians 2:8-9).

Sadly, Satan has warped the message of the cross since….well, probably since Jesus died on it. We can see this in Paul’s letters to the churches. Already, Satan was busy warping the Gospel and deceiving believers as well as unbelievers (2 Corinthians 4:4; 2 Corinthians 11:13-14).

A Gospel that is changed even a little bit is not the true Gospel.

While Satan has always been busy eroding, attacking, and distorting the Gospel, I am not sure it’s ever been with such a push as now. It’s almost as if he knows his rule of this world is coming to a close.

He has always been busy convincing people that they must add works to the cross in order to be saved, such as in Roman Catholicism, Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and many other branches of “Christianity”–even including legalistic “Christians” who would add rules that need to be followed in order to be saved. This continues to be one of his main distortions but in the last forty years or so he has strengthened his efforts (and he has been by and large successful!) to unify the true church with those who would be following a works-based salvation.

He is convincing people to give lip service to the cross but to bypass it in practices like lectio divina and contemplative prayer, which are mystical practices that lead people to believe that they can be close to God without the cross. He has persuaded so many that it is impossible to be close to God without hearing personally from Him, without experiencing visions, without supernatural events, etc.. All of this removes the focus of our faith from Christ’s finished work on the cross to our personal experiences.

He whispers in the ears of others that there is some good in them (Romans 3:12 tells us otherwise) and that Jesus simply died to make them whole and to give them a better life.

He has also convinced many that God would never send anyone to hell. Because men don’t like to think of God in this way (in spite of what scripture teaches us in Matthew 10:28 and Mark 9:43), men turn away from it and fall for something called “universalism”–that Christ died for all and all are saved, no matter if they call on Jesus or not. This is clearly denounced in scripture in many places but especially in John 14:6.

And, of course, Satan loves to convince people that their biggest mission is to make this world a better place. Called by the name of the social gospel, it is all about fixing the temporal problems of this world and yet rarely, if ever, includes sharing the Gospel with those to whom they are ministering. Sparing them physical hardship, they fail to given them the opportunity to be spared eternal damnation.

These warped views of the Gospel have invaded almost every nook and cranny of Christianity today. For many, they are in your own churches in the form of seminars, curriculum, books, or special speakers. They come by way of blog posts and emails from friends or family members. And they are promoted by even some of the most trusted, religious leaders of our day.

When anything comes our way, we must ask ourselves–is this taking the focus off of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross? Is it adding something I must do in order to be reconciled with God?

The cross has been and will always be the central doctrine of true Christianity. Christ died to satisfy God’s wrath against man (Romans 3:23-26). Our only hope to be reconciled to God is to repent of our sins and to place our faith in Christ (Romans 5:1). There are no works we can do or any special program we can follow to skip this step (Ephesians 2:8-9). The pure, unadulterated Gospel is the only Gospel that saves.

As we approach Resurrection Sunday, I want to encourage you to really think about all that is going on around you in the “Christian” world. What “gospel” is being preached? Compare everything to scripture, for it is only there that we find truth. It is our only anchor. And as the world around us grows more and more treacherous, our need for that anchor will increase.

In reading Jude yesterday, I was struck by its final verses–

How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts. 19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.

22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:23 And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

By these verses, we can see that in the last days it will continue to get worse and worse. Our instructions are found in verses 20-21– we are to build ourselves up in the holy faith (which can only be done by faithfully being in the Word), prayer, and by keeping ourselves in the love of God, all while looking for the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. If we skip down to verse 24, we see that it is God who will keep us from falling during this time. He Who will present us faultless before the presence of His glory has complete power and absolute sovereignty over all that is happening. We must turn to Him in this time.

Jesus Christ died on the cross to save us from our sins. There is no other “interpretation” or any works that must be added to His finished work to save men from their sins. God, who is infinite and omnipotent, has made a way for us to be reconciled to Him and it is only through the death and resurrection of His Son. Praise God!

 

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