I’m Back (and Where I Was)

For those of you that follow Growing4Life only through social media or some other online avenue, you may have wondered where I disappeared to. A couple of weeks ago I wrote an email to my subscribers, explaining what happened to me. I don’t plan to give the same detail here that I shared with them, as it really isn’t necessary. However, I do feel like I owe you all a bit of an explanation before I start writing again.

Early in July, I entered into a major battle with fear and anxiety. What was going on in the world started to get to me and, instead of trusting the Lord, I fell into a pit of despair.

Needless to say, the last six weeks have been difficult. And interesting. And stretching.

You’d think, as a believer, you wouldn’t battle something like this. And yet, suddenly I found myself in a fierce battle. I had written about this topic so often. But Satan had found my weak point and he wasn’t giving up without a fight!

When I was in my darkest time and felt like God just wasn’t hearing my prayers, my mom reminded me that when I would look back on this later, I would see God’s mercies throughout this time.

God is already opening my eyes to some of the ways He has been caring for me so tenderly during this time. Some of His mercies came through some of you readers. I want to thank each of you that have been praying for me. I have no doubt that God has used your prayers to start me on to the path of healing. I also want to express my deepest gratitude to the blog subscribers who took the time to respond to my personal letter to you. Your emails of promised prayer, support, and encouraging words were a much needed and unexpected balm at a very dark period of time.

To be sure, my battle is definitely not over. The valley is not traversed. But at the end of last week, I began to see just a small glimmer of light in the distance. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I can think again. Like I can concentrate enough to write again.

I don’t know if I’ll fall back in the pit. Perhaps I am taking a risk to start up writing again. Let me tell you why I have decided to take that risk.

One of my greatest regrets during these past few weeks is the time I was wasting by not continuing the ministry here. So much is happening in the world and I knew I was letting so many of you down. I wasn’t encouraging you, informing you, or pointing you to God’s Word during this strange, confusing time in our world.

Not that you need me. And God certainly doesn’t need me. But I knew that my fear and anxiety were keeping me from serving God and from encouraging my readers and that deeply saddened me.

And so it is with that in mind that I am stepping out in faith to begin writing again here at the blog.

Some day I may share my journey with you. But, at this point, it is too fresh, too recent, and the journey incomplete. This is not the time.

Again, I deeply thank those of you who have walked alongside me during this unexpected and unpleasant journey. I am so incredibly blessed with a supportive family, wonderful and loving friends, and so many kind, prayerful on-line brothers and sisters in Christ (I can’t wait to meet you all in Heaven! I feel like I am friends with so many of you already!)

One of the biggest blessings during this time is being reminded of how much people care.

And, so, here we go. I am back and I have some work ahead of me. I want to tackle some tough subjects. There is much going on, not only in the world, but also in the church. If you’ve been praying, I’d appreciate your continued prayer. Thank you so much, dear friends!

 

18 thoughts on “I’m Back (and Where I Was)”

  1. Praise God for answered prayer. I save your blogs for when my busy day has come to an end and it is like a letter from an old friend, the encouragement to my soul is such a blessing. Satan will attack anyone that helps so many people in their daily walk.

  2. I’m so glad you’re back, Leslie! I have been praying for you during this time of difficulty you’ve been going through and will continue to do so. You’re such a blessing to me…

  3. Appreciate your honesty. So often writers don’t let others see the human side of them that their life don’t have any problems. Love your ministry. May the Lord bless you, your family and keep you strong during tough times.

    1. Thank you, Randi! I am so glad you commented. I think you were one of the first to send me a kind and encouraging email, which I lost and couldn’t seem to find anywhere in my inbox. I wanted you to know that I so appreciated your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write a response :)

  4. So thankful you are beginning to feel better and you are writing again. I have been battling fear, anxiety and depression and so ashamed as a Christian but through many prayers feeling better. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thank you! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but it is comforting to know I am not alone! I believe prayer has been a huge part of starting me on the road to healing. Glad you, too are headed the right direction. :)

  5. I’m very glad to see this post. I’ve learned that sometimes it helps me endure dark times if I minister to others. The apostle Paul wrote his powerful letter to the Philippians from a prison cell. And he wrote 2 Timothy just before his execution.

    Leslie, you may not be Paul, but you have an important ministry to women. Most women bloggers write fluff, usually distorting Scripture to feed egos. You are one of the few who handles God’s Word properly and uses it to guide women towards His truth. We DO need you! We need more women bloggers like you who model and teach Biblical discernment at a time when so many Christians lack discernment. Thank you for your courage to come back! I pray that the Lord will encourage you to keep serving Him.

    1. Thank you, Deb! You are such an encouragement to me! I plan to respond to your email today. God really used it to get me moving in the right direction and I so appreciate you!

  6. Aren’t we all affected by what’s happening to the world? I try to always keep the faith,( but it is really hard), so that Jesus won’t tell me “oh you of little faith!” . Glad you are back!

  7. Dear Leslie I don’t think any true Christian has not suffered in the throws of depression and been heart sickened over the evil which seems so prevail, none. Even Jesus was called a”man of sorrows” He took time to weep over the state of His chosen nation and the trials and judgement they faced. We too are right to take the time to weep, fast, pray, cry out to the Lord, groan without words, and beg God to change what we know is coming and then we “must rise up and go”. These things are to reveal the glory, might and right of God’s own character and the opposing selfish evil of human nature.
    “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be glory for your steadfast love and faithfulness.
    Why should the nation’s say where is their God?
    Our God is in the heavens and He does all that He pleases.” Ps. 115
    Thank you for sharing your life and love of God and His Word helping to bear us up. You are an encouragement even in your own distress. In our thials the light is defected from us to Him.

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