Faith – Page 38 – Growing 4 Life

Invisible Pain

Leave a Comment / August 23, 2012 November 1, 2012

All of us will have times in our lives where we suffer pain that is very obvious to those around us – the illness or death of a loved one, a fire that destroys our possessions, a wayward child, or a divorce. But then there are the times that we suffer very invisibly.

Everything looks like it should be okay from the outside looking in. And no one could guess that we are falling apart on the inside. Invisible pain may be due to a chronic illness that we choose not to discuss. It may be due to a marriage that is falling apart inside the home, but maintains its perfect picture to those outside of it. It may be the betrayal of a friend or family member. Or it may be a high stress job where we are called to compromise our faith or perhaps we are even living under the threat of losing a job. Many times it is as simple as there isn’t enough money to pay the bills and it’s causing great turmoil in our home. It may even be struggling through the consequences of past sin that only we know about – an abortion, a child put up for adoption, an affair. Whatever it is, it is personal and private and only those closest to us realize we are suffering. And maybe we haven’t told another soul…maybe only God knows.

There is one certain thing about invisible pain: it is a lonely place to be. Whether we are watching a soccer game, working at our job , or shopping for groceries, the invisible pain follows us. It is constantly just a thought away in our minds. And yet we remain silent.

This has happened to me several times throughout my life. I was suffering deeply and to the rest of the world everything looked perfect. I have learned from those experiences that looks can be deceiving. I can’t automatically assume that all is perfect in someone else’s world just because it looks like it is to me. It makes me think of one of those bright, shiny, red apples. It looks perfectly delicious. You can’t imagine it being anything other than fresh and crunchy inside. And then you take that first bite. The apple is tasteless and sandy. Just because everything looks perfect on the outside, doesn’t mean it is perfect on the inside.

We may not be in the position to know what is going on in their life, but it is important to have a realistic view of people. All people struggle through tough times. There is no one alive – whether they live in a 45,000 square foot mansion in Hollywood or a hut in Haiti– who doesn’t face tough times at one time or another. We all do. And many of our struggles are not noticeable to the rest of the world. We can never assume that someone who looks put together on the outside feels the same way on the inside.

So let’s be kind and considerate in our relationships with each other, always edifying and encouraging. And if we find out that someone is struggling silently, let’s come along side and offer our love and support instead of gossip and malicious words behind their back. Let’s share the love of Jesus, so that we will never be filled with regret in how we treated someone. It is likely that you will run into someone who is struggling through incredible, invisible pain today. Brighten their day with a warm smile and an encouraging word. And let’s be careful not to make assumptions about others.

I Thessalonians 5: 14-15 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.

P.S. I can’t help think, as I write this, about my run-in with the old man at the mall this week. I wish I would have responded differently. I actually wrote this blog post before that happened, and I am finding myself filled with regret at not handling that with a smile and kind words. Just because I can write good things, doesn’t mean I always live them. Please…never hold me up as any kind of perfect model. I wish I was, but alas, I am just a woman who loves the Lord and likes to write.

Wednesday Wisdom: Empty Me

3 Comments / August 22, 2012 August 22, 2012

Yesterday, I sent my daughters to get a head start in a clothing store, while I made a quick stop at the AT&T store. As I crossed the aisle to find my daughters, I saw a tall, thin, older man walking with purpose. He had a thick head of grayish white hair parted to the side and big, dark-rimmed glasses and looked quite dignified. I hesitated, thinking he may let me step in front of him, but not wanting to assume anything.

He barreled towards me and as he got close, he glared at me and said in a hard voice, “you’re wrong if you think I’m moving” and continued walking past me. I don’t think I have ever been so surprised in my life! To be so rudely treated was surprising but for it to be by someone so dignified-looking, well, I think you could have knocked me over with a feather. Well, at least after I yelled after him that he was quite a gentleman! (probably shouldn’t have done that…)

This world is so full of people who only care about their agenda, their purposes, and their lives. And the scary thing is– if I am not careful, I can quickly become one of them. It is so easy to get caught up in my own selfish world.

A few years ago, a young man named Chris Sligh sang the following song. I can never listen to this song without feeling convicted of my selfishness. I think how true it is that selfish ambitions are vain and that pride is like a poison and then I sing along with Chris, “empty me of me, so I can be filled with You”.

EMTPY ME

I’ve had just enough of the spotlight
When it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood
And I’ve tasted my share
Of the sweet life
And the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough

I know how i can stray
And how fast my heart could change

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you

I’ve seen just enough of the quick buys
Of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away

I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you

‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you
Compared to you
‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you
So I surrender all

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride

Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you.
Filled with you
Empty me

You can listen to this song here.

Constant Gardener

3 Comments / August 13, 2012 August 13, 2012

Big mistake. Big, big mistake. At least when it comes to the world of gardening. I remembered looking through the seed catalog several years ago. It is always one of my favorite winter activities –poring over the colorful garden catalogs. That particular year I made the fateful choice to buy a packet of seeds labeled “Grandpa Otto’s Morning Glory”. Oh, if only I would have known. If I had had even an inkling of what was to come, I would never have bought that seed packet.

This past Saturday night, I spent the evening, yet again, ripping out morning glory plants that had grown up all through my square foot garden boxes. What has made this summer so much more frustrating is that this spring we had built new boxes. We had laid down a weed barrier and then had dumped layers of fresh, virgin, seedless soil in them. There shouldn’t have been a morning glory seed anywhere around my boxes.

When I saw the first heart-shaped leaf early this summer my heart sank. No! You have to be kidding me. That stupid, invasive, beautiful plant was back. As I became busier in the month of July and didn’t have as much time to keep after the garden, the morning glories saw their chance and grew with a vengeance until they had climbed up through the sweet peas and raspberries. Their tendrils wrapping around and choking my peppers and my strawberries. What had started out as an innocent act of planting a tiny packet of seeds years earlier had turned into a gardening nightmare that would never go away.

Of course, many of you have probably already guessed where I am going with this. You see, sin is so much like that packet of seeds. It looks so beautiful, so small. It looks way too innocent to ever cause much grief. But the seed of a little sin, just like those annoying morning glories, grows and grows and then blossoms and eventually it sets fruit. And then the seeds start spilling out from the fruit and we find the sin multiplying on every side of us.

Some people just give up and let the sin continue to grow and multiply. They decide to just try to survive the jungle growing around them the best they can.

But, as Christians, we don’t have this option, do we? And, so we are called to be very careful about what seeds we plant. Are we planting good seeds or bad seeds? Galatians 6:7 tells us: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. We fool ourselves if we think we can plant just a bit of evil in our lives.

Of course, most of us make the mistake of planting the wrong packet of seeds a time or two. I can look back in my life and see many times where I planted the wrong thing and I am still paying for that today. It is frustrating and discouraging to see the wrong fruit growing in the garden of our life. Especially when it seems to be over-taking the good fruit.

And, so, as Christians, we become the Constant Gardener. We have the responsibility to constantly be searching and pulling the sin and the fruits of that sin from our lives and nurturing and growing the fruits of the Spirit. But, by doing so, we experience the immense joy of living a life that is hopeful and fruitful, instead of muddling through the jungle.

I guess we should all spend a little time gardening today!

Trading for the Trivial

Leave a Comment / August 9, 2012 August 9, 2012

Do you remember Esau? Yes, the guy in the Bible. He was the older twin brother of Jacob. One day he came in from the field weary and hungry. His brother was in the midst of making a delicious red stew. When Esau asked for some, Jacob saw his opportunity. He told him that he would give him some stew in exchange for his birthright. In those days, this was a big deal. The older son was much more privileged than the younger son and by trading his birthright for a bowl of stew, he was giving up his inheritance. You can read this story for yourself in Genesis 25.

I have always thought of Esau as very foolish! What man in his right mind would exchange something so important for a bowl of food? And then it hit me. I do that almost everyday. I am in the habit of regularly exchanging self-control and a healthy body for a bowl of ice cream or a serving of french fries. When I think about it like this, I realize that I am not all that different than Esau.

We also do the same thing when we trade:

–our financial well-being for a car we can’t afford

–our spiritual well-being for 2 hours of ungodly entertainment

–a healthy marriage for a moment of griping and complaining about something trivial

–our children’s well-being for the temporary moment of peace that comes when we don’t discipline them

–our Christian testimony for a glass of beer or an hour at the gambling table

–our integrity for a few bucks on a tax form

–a healthy body for an hour of laziness and tv-watching

Most of us are trading what is most important for what is trivial almost every day. We wile away our entire lives on the unimportant, never realizing the great sacrifices we are making to do so.

Quite frankly, I can’t even relate to what Esau did because it is not part of our culture. We couldn’t trade a birthright in our culture, even if we tried. And so this story has always remained rather an enigma to me. And, then the other day, as I was reading it once again, it was made so clear to me. I can see how I am just like an American style Esau. Trading what is most important to me almost every day for something really stupid.

Some of the things I am trading aren’t even sinful in and of themselves. A bowl of ice cream or an order of fries isn’t sinful. Buying a new car isn’t sinful. But it is the attitude. It is the habit. It is the lack of self-control. It is the desire of self-gratification over the desire for doing what is right.

I don’t know about you, but I will never read that story in the Bible the same way again.

The mouse, the hibiscus, and a lesson in resilience

Leave a Comment / August 6, 2012 August 6, 2012

Late this spring I purchased two beautiful hibiscus trees at Sam’s Club to replace the ones that had died in our greenhouse last winter. They were covered with bright reddish-orange flowers. But when I brought them home the weather was still too cold to put them outside permanently. My husband decided to slide them into the garage for protection until we could put them outside. I would peek in at them once in awhile to see how they were doing and one day I noticed the one tree drooping considerably. I gave it a good drink of water. It continued to droop and started to look like it was dying. And then one day I found it outside our garage. Eric had noticed the drooping tree, as well, and had investigated. What he figured out was a surprise to both of us! The roots of this poor tree had been eaten away by our resident mice. We knew they were there and had been working to be rid of them. But who knew that mice liked to eat hibiscus roots?

We considered the tree a goner. So little of the root system was left that it would topple over at just the slightest provocation. Ironically, the mice had not attacked the other plant and that one was doing just fine. We removed both of them to a safe place and we waited. And we watered. And we watched.

And then one day we saw the struggling tree push forth a bloom. And then another one. Until it rivaled its partner. The hibiscus tree had a spectacular recovery even when it was attacked at its very life system…its very core.

I have seen people like this, too. They have been terribly abused or devastated — hurt in the very core of their being. While others curl up and die inside, filling their lives with bad choices and even worse consequences, they are the resilient ones. The ones who refuse to let someone else destroy their life. And so they limp along trying to live life, bleeding and bruised, turning to the Lord in their grief and pain, until one day they send forth a bloom. And then another one. Until we can see that they have defied the odds and are living an amazing life that is truly blessed, because of one simple decision: they refused to give in to bitterness and fear.

When we submit ourselves to God and release our anger and unforgiving spirit, no matter what the situation – abuse, betrayal, death, disease — we give ourselves the opportunity to bloom again. If we hang on to it, we will stay closed up and dormant, eventually dying inside. I know a lady like this. It breaks my heart. She went through a terrible tragedy many years ago. All of these years later, she is still often in tears and bitter words spew from her mouth. She has chosen not to move on. I feel for her children. They live with a mom who lives in the past. Her world is still so incredibly dark. But I don’t judge her – who knows what I would do in her situation? There, but for the grace of God, go I. I just feel so sorry for her.

As I think of the two contrasts — those who move on and those who don’t — it isn’t hard to see that how we respond to difficulty can absolutely change the outcome of our lives. I don’t know what you’ve been through and you don’t know what I’ve been through. May we provide each other with much grace and Christian love as we all work through the tough stuff in life. But, most importantly, may we grab onto the grace and mercy of Jesus and let go of the bitterness and anger. Only then will we live a life that brings glory to God.

Aging with Grace

Leave a Comment / October 5, 2010 July 11, 2014

I am forty-four years old. 44! When I was in college I thought 40-somethings were OLD and, I guess if I were honest, somewhat irrelevant to my life. I was young and excited about the future before me. The last 20 years have flown by in a blur–so filled with activity and new experiences and busyness. And now much of what I was looking forward to is in my past, to some extent. Things like falling in love and getting married, having babies, and buying a home. I feel blessed beyond measure to have experienced each of these things. Some of you have had other dreams–maybe it was traveling the world or being a missionary or owning your own company. Many of us, by this time in our lives, have seen the fruition of some of our dearest and most important dreams. So now what?

Now what do we look forward to? Age spots? Wrinkles? Gray hair? Eyes that can’t see as well? Should my priority be to make myself look as young as possible? I can use all kinds of powders and gels and creams and I can eat right and exercise–and they may delay the process of growing old–but they will not stop the process of my body aging. We cannot stop the clock.

In this culture, where physical beauty and youth are so highly valued, it is sometimes easy to feel very irrelevant. We feel like we have little of value to offer young people. They seem like they know it all. But, if I think back on those days, I know two things without a shadow of a doubt–

One (and, by far, the most important): I didn’t know it all, I only thought I did.

And two: The adults who influenced me–the ones I would listen to–were the ones who cared deeply about me.

The Bible says:

Job 12:12 Wisdom is with aged men, and with length of days, understanding.

Proverbs 16:31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.

Proverbs 20:29 The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.

There is a natural occurrence of getting wiser as you get older. Yes, there are some exceptions to this. I am sure we can all think of at least one. But most of us, as we experience joy, devastation, even endless days of routine, will be learning. Learning to grow in a deeper walk with God, to trust Him, and to walk by faith. Over the course of the last 20 years, I have learned that I do not have all of the answers. And I have learned that I still have much growing to do on this journey.

But I have also learned how to handle some things in a godly way. And I am learning how to react and respond to the things I cannot change. And, as this learning process occurs, whether we are 22 or 52 or 91, we have learned something that could help a person coming behind us in this journey of life.

May we care deeply about those coming after us. May we share the wisdom that God has granted us through our experiences of living life. And may we continue to look to Him and His word as our final authority. We must remember that it is not our opinions that matter, but what God says. If we live that and speak that and share that, maybe God will use us to help a younger person in need of guidance. Let’s turn our eyes outward and use these years to glorify God and help others along their way!