Christianity – Page 66 – Growing 4 Life

Sympathy isn’t a Substitution for Service

2 Comments / March 1, 2012 March 1, 2012

This quote caught my eye yesterday. Sympathy isn’t a substitution for service. All around us, every single day, we hear of horrifying circumstances in which people find themselves. Oftentimes, they occur in other countries but on occasion, they happen to our neighbors. Sometimes, there is literally nothing we can do but pray, and other times we know the person well, but just don’t know what to do. And so we do nothing but feel sympathy for the situation. And then we forget and our thoughts turn back to our own little worlds. But wait! Is this what God has called us to? Is this how we are to respond to those who are suffering through trials and tragedies around us?

I know when I read that quote, I immediately was ashamed. Natural catastrophes have horrified me. I have been brought to tears over the heartbreak others are enduring because of illness, death, and accidents. And, yet, in reading that quote, I realized that was not enough. Feeling sad for someone accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Most of us do not have the funds or the connections to hop on a plane and help with disaster relief in a foreign country. But there are some ways we can serve others in need– right here and right now:

14 Practical Ways to Serve Others

1. Tell someone who is going through a trial that you will pray for them and then remember to actually do it!

2. Sponsor a child in a foreign country.

3. Prepare a meal or buy a gift card from a restaurant for a struggling mom.

4. Offer to run an errand or drive to an appointment for someone without transportation.

5. Take a homemade goodie or flowers to someone who is facing a rough time.

6. Use Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to let someone know you have been thinking of them.

7. Ask someone about their trial (instead of ignoring it) and truly listen to them if they want to talk.

8. Write an encouraging hand-written note and send it the old-fashioned way.

9. Support, E-mail, or otherwise encourage a Missionary.

10. Find a lonely, elderly person who doesn’t have family and visit them regularly.

11. Offer to babysit the children of a young couple who are struggling financially and do not have family living close by to help out.

12. Learn the specific places (towns and villages) and perhaps even some names of people where horrendous tragedy has struck, so we can pray intelligently for the situations for which we truly cannot offer any physical help.

13. Recruit the whole family to collect money sacrificially and then give the funds to a trustworthy organization who is doing some real good in places we don’t have access to.

14. Use the internet to find out practical ways you can help, such as collecting clothing, blankets, or shoes.

This is just a short list of possible ways to serve. I would love to hear your ideas! I hope this encourages all of us to think outside of our own little world today. Just imagine what would happen if each one of us did just a couple of things on this list. Together we could, as the true church of Jesus Christ, make a real difference.

Matthew 25: 37-40 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? ³⁸When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clotheYou? ³⁹Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

The S Word

7 Comments / February 27, 2012 February 27, 2012

If you are a Christian woman, you are very familiar with this word. You may have chosen to ignore it, you may refuse to do it, or you may struggle with it every day of your life. I am referring to the word submission. This is one of the hardest words for Christian women to come to terms with…or is it just me?

I do not even feel qualified to write about this. This is a constant struggle for me. But I guess if I only wrote about the things in life I have perfected, I would never write anything!

Whether we like it or not, the concept of a wife submitting to her husband is biblical (Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3). If you are a woman with leadership skills and a strong personality this directive is especially challenging.

Many of us are women who naturally take charge. We don’t mean to portray anything negative or unkind. Lots of times we don’t even realize we are taking control from our husbands. We are often so busy organizing and controlling our children that we just start trying to do the same with our husbands.

In our home, this leads to some fireworks! Thankfully, my husband isn’t going to tolerate me taking over his role as leader and so we have had to deal with this word on a frequent basis. I have truly had to give some contemplation to this word and what it means for me and my role in my marriage.

The other day while I was reading Galatians 3:28, which is the verse about how we are all one in Christ Jesus, my eyes slid down to the MacArthur notes at the bottom. And something caught my eye. It was about submission:

Nor is this spiritual equality incompatible with the God-ordained roles of headship and submission in the church, society, and at home. Jesus Christ, though fully equal with the Father, assumed a submissive role during his incarnation.

I don’t know why, but I had never thought of that before. And I realized that Jesus is our perfect model for submission. On the night before his crucifixion, when He prayed “Not My will, but Yours, be done,” He was submitting to the Father, someone who was His equal.

I think perhaps that is where I get messed up. In our culture, submission means inferiority. The lesser person submits to the powerful, greater person. But when the Bible talks about submission it is never about the issue of inferiority. It is hard for us to work through that, isn’t it? Submission feels like inferiority. But if we are practicing biblical submission and our husbands are practicing biblical love, then we are experiencing God’s perfect design for marriage. And it is good.

On this day, we all find ourselves in different places. You may be like me and have lots of fireworks in your home as you work through this issue. You may have this down because you are naturally a follower. You may be struggling because you have a husband who refuses to lead. Or you may have a husband who is unloving and unkind in his leadership. But, somehow or other, we Christian women all need to deal with this word. What a comfort to see Jesus’ example of this as He went to the cross to die for us.

May we be women who never give up trying to grow in this area of our lives, no matter how our husbands choose to play their role as leader. And by growing, may we set a good example for our daughters and the young girls who are watching us.

Starting with the Right Account

5 Comments / February 23, 2012 February 23, 2012

I glared at my computer. Why wasn’t this balancing? I glanced down over the screen, trying to spot something that may have been entered wrong. I was in the midst of trying to balance one of my business accounts and it just wasn’t working. Have you ever had that problem? You work and work to figure out why you are a few dollars off? Only this time it was about $65 and I was determined to figure out the discrepancy. There were only a few transactions for the whole month, so this should have been a piece of cake. And then it hit me! I was balancing the wrong account. We have two accounts that happen to have very similar balances and I had accidentally brought up the wrong account. I could have worked all day but it would never have balanced.

After I had scolded myself about making such a stupid mistake and wasting some valuable minutes, I couldn’t help but apply this to life. You see, so many of us start at the wrong point with our Christianity. We want to start with ourselves instead of with God. We come to God so He will meet our needs. We want to find our purpose. We want to experience God’s blessings. We desire for all to go well with us. We believe that God wants us to be “happy” and so we pursue happiness instead of godliness. We praise God for finding us beautiful (which I still just can’t seem to find a verse to support) and we sing songs of worship that are ME-centered instead of God-centered.

We start with the wrong account of “me” and because of it, we can never seem to balance our Christianity. I know this isn’t a popular thing to say but here it is: True Christianity is about repentance of sin, self-denial, holiness, and glorifying God alone. We need to repent of the sin that makes us unacceptable to God and come to Him with humility and a grateful heart for the gift of salvation He has graciously provided through His Son’s death and resurrection. Upon salvation, we should start living for Jesus, instead of ourselves.

John 3:30 says: He must increase, but I must decrease. Matthew 16:24 says: Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.

Did you catch that? We are to decrease. We are to think less and less of ourselves the more mature we grow in Christ, so that people are seeing more and more of Christ. We are to deny ourselves our own personal desires for the sake of God’s Kingdom. For some, it may mean going to prison or dying for Christ. Others endure ruined reputations, ugly rumors, and broken relationships because of their dedication to Christ. But we are to glory in this persecution, because Christ’s purposes are supreme! (Matthew 5:11-12)

Because Christianity has become so ME-centered, it has rendered many of us useless for the sake of God’s Kingdom. We dedicate so much time to finding our personal purposes and “helping” God to bless us materially, that we aren’t even concerned about the souls of the lost. We become so wrapped up in declaring our “rights” and “personal freedoms” that we step all over weaker brothers and sisters, not caring for their fledgling walks with Christ. We rationalize our behaviors and choices, all the while hurting the Kingdom of God. We seek personal pleasure and justify it under the banner of the “freedom we have in Christ”. It is absolutely tragic.

We need to start with the right account! We need to start with God, instead of ourselves. Ironically, it is only when this happens, that we will find the joy, blessing, and peace that our souls long for.

What does the Bible say about OMG?

149 Comments / February 20, 2012 May 1, 2017

I was sitting at a sporting event, when the lovely, Christian lady beside me shouted, “Oh, my God!” as her child made a mistake. I cringed inside. And then I wondered, “does she know?” Does she know that the Bible tells us not to use God’s name in vain?

And honestly, this is not unusual. I hear Christians do this all of the time. Many are wonderful people who obviously love the Lord. Is it because we just don’t hear this called sin anymore? Are we so hardened to the use of His name due to the company we keep and the entertainment that we fill our minds with, that we just didn’t notice when we started doing it, too?

Exodus 20 is where we find the ten commandments. The third commandment is “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”

We are not to use God’s name as a curse word. We are not to use His name lightly. If we study who God is, we understand a bit more why this is such a grave sin. God is holy, sovereign, unchangeable, omnipotent, omniscient, faithful, patient, and merciful. This is just a short list of the adjectives that could be used to describe God, the One who made a way for us to be reconciled to Him through His son, Jesus Christ. If He is so awesome and so wonderful (and He is!), then we can understand why it is so important for us not to use His name when we are angry or surprised.

I am not writing this to point a finger or to make you feel guilty. Quite honestly, I have personally believed for a long time, that I probably shouldn’t even say “Oh, my gosh!” It is obviously a sadly disguised copy of the original. And yet, I still struggle with it. You will still hear that come out of my mouth on occasion. Language is a hard thing to change. When we grow angry or are surprised, we tend to forget our speech in the heat of the moment.

My desire in writing, as always, is to make us think. We need to think about the words that come out of our mouths. If we are a redeemed soul saved by grace, then all of life should be lived intentionally to please our heavenly Father. May we recognize that taking God’s name in vain in any form is offensive to the Holy God who saved us. And let’s start today anew using our tongues to glorify God’s name instead of curse it!

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Saving the Hemlocks

Leave a Comment / February 16, 2012 February 16, 2012

The other day one of our employees told me about a customer who blamed us for her dying hemlocks last season. Oh, she wasn’t blaming us for harming the trees. She was blaming us for not noticing them. This customer was annoyed because the men who mow her lawn had not spotted the infected hemlocks and therefore, it was our company’s fault that her hemlocks were dying.

Now, I am not here to defend our company. Perhaps we need to train our employees to be more observant. However, what I really want to focus on is this shift in our culture to blame anything bad that happens to us on someone or something else.

We don’t want to take responsibility and so we offer up all kinds of excuses. If we are overweight, we blame it on our metabolism. If we are angry, we blame it on the person who “made” us angry. If our kids aren’t doing well in school, we blame the teacher. If our children aren’t growing in Christ, we blame the church. If we are addicted to anything, it is someone else’s fault – certainly not ours!

But there are consequences for our actions and even for our ” inaction”. If we choose to ignore the health of our trees and shrubs, disease may sneak in and kill them. If we choose to ignore our children’s entertainment habits, Satan may sneak in and spiritually destroy them. If we choose to eat whatever we want and never exercise, we will not only weigh more, but may even suffer from high blood pressure or diabetes because of it. If we do not require our children to study, they will probably not do well in school. And when these things happen, it won’t be anyone’s fault but our own!

Instead of languishing in the land of self-pity and blame, we need to take responsibility and, with much prayer and biblical counsel, start moving forward out of the morass we find ourselves in. We have all made mistakes. We have all chosen the wrong path at times. But if we acknowledge our sin, repent of it, and change our direction, the Lord will be there to strengthen and guide us!

Unfortunately, hemlocks often die if we wait too long to treat them. Thankfully, we serve a big God and it is never too late to repent, turn to God for help, and move forward.

Psalm 25:9 The humble He guides in justice, And the humble He teaches His way.

10 Thoughts on Building a Healthy Marriage

Leave a Comment / February 13, 2012 May 31, 2015

It seems only appropriate to talk about marriage as we approach Valentine’s Day. What exactly defines a good marriage? How do a man and a woman not only stay together but actually stay best friends for life? I have a few ideas gleaned from my own 25 years of marriage to my husband, Eric. We have also had the blessing of observing the marriages of both sets of parents and other Christian couples who have set such wonderful examples. Some of the suggestions I have listed here are still very much in progress in our marriage, so please don’t think we have it all together! Here are a few thoughts on the topic of marriage, in no particular order:

1. Have common goals. It is so very hard to be best friends with someone who has totally different goals than you do. Whether it is how to handle finances or where to live or how to raise the kids, it is important that we be unified in most areas. If we cannot come to an agreement about some issue, it is important to come to some kind of compromise, so that we can live in harmony before the children. Of course, Biblical Truth cannot be compromised, but, if we are honest, we will admit that most of our arguments are based on our own selfish desires and have nothing to do with Biblical Truth. Nothing is more disruptive to a marriage than two people going two different directions.

2. A willingness on both parts to admit wrongdoing. This is so very basic– and so very necessary. Just this week, in separate incidents, both my husband and myself had to admit ways in which we messed up. Instead of sweeping them under the carpet, we thought about the sin we had committed and then apologized. I have to honestly admit that this is very difficult for me. My personality is such that I have a really difficult time doing this and it will often take me a few hours or even a few days until the Holy Spirit has convicted me to humble myself and admit my wrongdoing.

3. A willingness for both spouses to forgive and extend grace. Sometimes our spouse isn’t even aware that they hurt us. We need to forgive each other always. If we don’t, then eventually a volcano of bitterness, hurt, and anger will spill over. Some offenses are much easier to forgive than others. But, according to Scripture (Matthew 18:21-22) we are required to forgive each other–again and again. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness go a very long way in preserving a marriage.

4. Don’t allow our expectations to control our responses and reactions. We expect our husbands to read our minds. We expect our wives to have a clean house and hot meal waiting at home, regardless of her day. We expect our husbands to romance us. We expect our wives to understand our need for solitude. And when our spouses do not understand these things, we are offended. But, perhaps, instead of growing hurt and offended and angry, we should communicate our expectations and then determine what is realistically possible? I know when I was homeschooling, my husband had an expectation that I would keep a clean house. This caused a temporary rift in our marriage because I found this to be almost impossible. My husband had an expectation and I was having a very hard time meeting it. Most of us have some unrealistic expectations for our spouse that, if we are not careful, can build a wall between us. Years later, I now feel like it is a realistic expectation for me to keep the house tidy–at least for the few hours the kids are at school!

5. Appreciate each other. Sure, all of us have plenty to complain about, but we all have lots to be thankful for, too. And we need to make sure that appreciation moves beyond just our thoughts and to our mouths. We need to tell our spouse how much we appreciate them generally and specifically. We need to share with our children how much we appreciate their dad or mom. And we should talk positively about our husband or wife when we are in public.

6. Give God first place in our lives. I feel like this is so fundamental that it hardly needs to be said. However, so many of us forget the importance of this in our busy lives. I just heard John Piper say in one of his sermons that he has always encouraged his children to read their Bible in the morning – even before breakfast. In fact, if there is no Bible, there should be no breakfast…the implication being that it is more important to eat spiritual food than physical food. If we are in the Word and confessing and praying and continually examining ourselves, we will be a much easier person to be married to. If our spouse is doing the same thing, it will be doubly helpful to the marriage. The Lord blesses those who live in obedience to Him.

7. Keep our marriage in second place. Not the kids. Not the job. Not the shopping or the sports or the church. We have a responsibility to keep the needs of our spouse of primary importance. I have really struggled with this and continue to struggle with this. Through the years I have found myself in a place where I would meet the many needs of my four children and let my husband fend for himself. I still find myself doing this, as my husband would loudly confirm were he given the opportunity. But we all– whether we are husbands or wives–need to be thinking about our spouse’s needs. We need to be serving them, loving them, and keeping them a priority in our lives.

8. Surprise each other now and again. Okay, so maybe this isn’t as profound or deep as you were expecting but I can honestly say that some of the best times in my life have been when my husband has surprised me. Taken me outside of the ordinary. We live so many of our days in the ordinary that somehow it is so romantic and fun to do something or to receive something unexpected. Last week, Eric walked in the door with a beautiful magenta orchid in his hand. Just because. It wasn’t a holiday or a special occasion. I love those moments! It is fun and healthy for us to break up the commonplace once in awhile with a surprise.

9. Stick with God’s pattern for how a husband and wife are supposed to work together. Women, whether we like it or not, God has set the husband up to be the Spiritual leader. We are to submit to and respect our husbands. Men, whether you want to or not, you are called to be the spiritual leader in your home. You are held responsible before God to love and protect your wife and family and to guide them with Biblical wisdom. This is a responsibility that I see so many women taking by default and many Christian families are affected negatively because of it. God’s design is always perfect. We may not like it, but it is right there in Scripture (Ephesians 5:22-25).

10. No secrets! I can’t think of one on this list that is more important than this. Be honest with each other. In our marriage, we have made the decision to keep our computers, our phones, and any financial accounts open and available to be seen at any time. We talk honestly about our feelings on almost all topics. When communication is not going on, it is the beginning of misunderstandings, bitterness, and fear. Suspicion and distance and walls grow out of keeping secrets. But light shines on a relationship that makes honesty a priority.

All marriages go through ups and downs. We all hit rough times that we just need to toil our way through. But we can never give up. And one final thought – PRAY for your husband or wife. Pray for your marriage. God is faithful!

So, there are some suggestions. This is certainly not an exhaustive list and I am sure I left out some really important points. I would love to hear some of your suggestions and thoughts about this topic. What has really helped to make your marriage work?

Moving Forward

Leave a Comment / February 9, 2012 January 21, 2015

Last week, I found myself murmuring and complaining about a life-changing situation that my family is in. Oh, I wasn’t complaining on the outside. I was still saying all of the platitudes that an “older, wiser, middle-aged” person should say to anyone who would ask me about it, but on the inside I was frustrated and sad and perhaps even growing a little bitter.

God, in His Providence, led me to think on the life of Joseph, through a series of podcasted sermons by *Alistair Begg. This boy was hated and beaten by his brothers, thrown in a pit and sold as a slave to passing merchants. He was seduced by his new boss’s wife, and then framed when he didn’t jump into bed with her. This part of his life concluded by him being thrown into prison for a crime he did not commit. Do you see the potential for bitterness in any of those circumstances? And yet, through it all, he kept his testimony upright and pure and blameless. And because of this, God went on to use Joseph in a mighty way.

My thoughts turned towards the many friends and acquaintances I have known who have been through some really tough times. Some of them could never move beyond their tragic circumstances. They ended up caught in a mire from which they could not extricate themselves because, instead of trusting in God’s Sovereignty and moving forward, they dwelled on the circumstance and grew angry and bitter and stayed broken. In contrast, I thought on those who, by the grace of God and with an admirable determination, chose to move forward and use the trial as an opportunity to give God glory and to share the Gospel. I have seen both examples and I knew which one I wanted to be.

Illnesses and deaths of loved ones, distressed and broken marriages, and financial struggles happen every day. Broken relationships and failing bodies are a painful part of our world. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you just wanted to scream, “But this isn’t how I wanted my life to be!” ? I certainly have.

You see, it really comes down to submitting ourselves to the will of God. Instead, we often find ourselves dwelling on the could haves, the should haves, and the might haves. But we need to stop and say “It is what it is.”

It is what it is.

We aren’t able to turn back the clock and we are given no “do-overs”. So for God’s glory and for our own spiritual health and testimony, we need to stop dwelling on the past and move forward in humble submission, no matter what God has allowed in our lives.

May we be like Joseph, strong and sure in faith, obedient and upright in action, and determined to move forward, no matter what life may bring.

*Below is the link to the first part of the series on Joseph by Alistair Begg. The MP3s are free of charge. If you find yourself in a situation where you are having a hard time trusting God, this series of sermons will be a great encouragement and challenge to you.

http://www.truthforlife.org/resources/sermon/new-coat-big-dreams-deep-pit/

Avoiding Catastrophe

2 Comments / February 6, 2012 April 8, 2014

Yesterday, my husband asked our teen-aged son to start a fire in the wood stove in our shop. We were blissfully having lunch at our neighbors’ house (who also happen to be my in-laws) unaware of the excitement taking place next door.

Apparently, our son had started the fire, watched it for a bit, and then decided to head back into the house to watch a little ice hockey while the fire got going. A little while later, he decided he’d better go check on it.

What he found was a raging fire! Cardboard boxes, unbeknownst to him, were laying too close to the stove and were now in flames. I am so proud of what he did next. Clear-headed and calm, although I am sure with a heart beating so fast it may have hurt, he grabbed the fire extinguisher and found out that those things really do work! He then threw the boxes out onto the pavement to smolder and cool down.

I am here to tell you that had he not gone to check on that fire at just the right time or had he not had the presence of mind to respond to that emergency, we would probably not have a shop today.

Sin is a little like that fire in the wood stove, isn’t it? We start nursing a secret habit or sin and we think it will stay contained and just affect us. But what we don’t realize is that there are almost always “cardboard boxes” laying nearby–they are usually in the shape of our spouse and children, or perhaps our parents, or even our friends. And like a fire, sin will consume anything that gets too close.

Many of our families have been consumed by our sins of selfishness, our lack of discernment, and our pride. They have been consumed by our materialism, our wrong priorities, and our sharp words.

And this is one of the reasons why self-examination is so very important (2 Corinthians 13:5 says Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.) If we are in step, on a daily basis, with God, reading and studying His Word, dedicating time to prayer, we will know that many things we view as innocent personality traits or harmless activities or attitudes are sinful. And these sins become like fires that are going to damage, if not destroy, those around us.

We can’t afford to go watch hockey while our fire is burning. We have to watch our fires constantly, or better yet, not even start them. But, as we all are sinners, we all have hot ashes that are just waiting for a little kindling to start a roaring fire, don’t we? We can never let down our guard. Never.

I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to spare our shop. I don’t know why. But I am so thankful He nudged our son to go check on that fire at just the right moment. May we not even leave any fires of sin burning unattended, and if we make the mistake of doing so, may our minds be filled with God’s Word, so that we recognize the danger and douse that thing as soon as it gets started.

As a Lab longeth for its food, so my soul…

Leave a Comment / February 2, 2012 February 2, 2012

My chocolate Lab, Macy, is consumed by the thought of food. As soon as I get up, she hops up from beside my bed and wags her tail expectantly. She knows that she needs to go do her “business” outside before I will feed her, so sometimes she will do nothing but make a token circle around the patio, and then beg to be let back in. As soon as she is inside, she bounces around my feet and keeps trying to move me in the direction of the room where we feed her. Once fed, she lays contentedly at my feet, sated and ready for another day.

The interesting thing is– she know who feeds her. Anyone else can get up in my house before I do, and she will just lay there. She knows that I am the one who feeds her and she will normally wait for me. And, so, as irritating as it can be sometimes, I have somehow ended up as her “master” and I am the one that not only feeds her, but the one she follows everywhere. Literally. Whatever room I am in, I can be sure she is laying somewhere close by.

Her attachment to food and to the one who feeds her is pretty amazing. Her loyalty is not divided. Oh, she loves the others in this house very much and will play with them and even climb on their beds for an occasional night’s sleep (probably because she is not allowed to be on the bed in my room). But I am the one she follows. I am the one she trusts.

As I thought of all of this just this morning, it made me think of how hungry I should be for God’s Word. And how attached I should be to the God who provided it for me. Do I long to feed on God’s Word every morning –so much so that I can’t settle into my day before I have fed myself? Do I trust and follow, without hesitation, the God who provided that food for me?

Sadly, I know that it isn’t so. Oftentimes, I get started on my day and realize at the end of the day that I have never spent time in the Word. Or perhaps it was a day when I sat down with good intentions and then got interrupted. But, you know, Macy would never allow herself to be interrupted while eating. I have tried it. Even if I offer to pet her (her second favorite thing in the world), she will give a cursory glance at me and then turn her head back towards her food bowl.

Perhaps she knows what is important. Perhaps she knows that she needs to eat and have her tummy filled before she can even enjoy being petted. Who knows? But, we should know that as humans, shouldn’t we? We should know that we need to be filled with God’s Word before we can go on to live our day fully to the praise and glory of God. Otherwise, we are stumbling on in our own power, relying on our own strength.

If you happen to have a Lab, then you probably can relate to this post. If you have a different type of dog, then probably not. Our other dog, Belle, a small, white Cavachon, likes to eat, but not with any kind of passion. She will only get passionate about her food when she is really hungry.

I want to be like my Lab in my single-mindedness to fill my mind with God’s Word. I want to have an insatiable appetite and a one track mind each morning. And I want to lay at my Master’s feet the rest of the day, trusting in him implicitly to lead me through each moment.

Job 23:12 I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth More than my necessary food.

Psalm 42:1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God.

Be a Blessing not a Burden

Leave a Comment / January 30, 2012 April 19, 2016

From the time my kids were small I sent them off with these words: “Be a Blessing; not a Burden.” I am not sure where I came up with it. I think I just made it up. But whether they were headed to Grandma’s, a friend’s house, or a soccer game, those were often my last words to them. Did they always listen to me? I highly doubt it. But, hopefully, it got them thinking about others.

I still say it every once in awhile. And it is actually good to say to myself, as well. Because if we are concentrating on being a blessing to others and making an effort at not being a burden to them, it changes how we interact with others completely.

For instance, if I want to be a blessing, I will be looking for ways to encourage those around me. When conversing with them, I will want to find out how they are, I will ask questions, and I will genuinely care. If I want to be a burden, I will only talk about myself – my opinions, my problems, my issues– and not let the other person get a word in edgewise.

If I want to be a blessing, when I see the other person rushing to be first in line, I will slow my gait instead of speeding up to beat them to the line. Or if someone is holding one item to check out and I have a cart full of groceries, it means allowing them to go ahead of me.

Sometimes being a blessing means just not saying something that might be true. Many of us do this frequently. Whether it be directly to someone or it be about them, we say lots of words that just don’t need to be said. Who cares how her hair looks? Or what shirt she is wearing? Why not pray for their obvious budget or job problems instead of talk about them in a negative way? And sometimes it is not so much that we talk about it (how can we work together to help them financially at this time?) but how we talk about it (isn’t that the third time she’s worn that blouse this week? Can’t they afford anything else?)

Being a burden happens when I think only of myself. If I just scurry around in my day thinking only about me, then I won’t stop to ask someone how their weekend was, care about what they think about my “great” idea, or if they have any thoughts on the new plan I am putting in place. I won’t care if my kids believe they are the center of the universe and act like it on the soccer field. I will stand for my personal rights at all times and never back down. I will buy what I want, wear what I want, go where I want, eat what I want. “No one can tell me what to do,” will be my mantra.

In contrast, being a blessing is thinking about others. It includes things like: Asking those who will be affected how they feel about my new plan before just putting it into place; offering a drink to someone working hard in or outside my home; making my home a haven for anyone who visits; realizing my kids have faults, admitting it, and dealing with it; talking it over with my spouse before buying a large item; saying please and thank you – instead of acting like I am entitled; giving in on the things that truly do not matter in the scope of life. The list could go on and on.

As I write this, my husband is blessing me by taking my girls to the school bus. This is the time of year he gets to sleep in- he works really hard and is up by 5 am most of the year- but he blesses me oftentimes in the winter by getting up early enough to take them, so I don’t have to go out into the cold, icy air. It is a great start to my day and I am always so very thankful for his kindness.

And I wonder how I can be a blessing to someone today? How about you? Who can you bless today?

Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.