We all have idols. You. Me. Your friend at church. Your neighbor. Your parents. Your kids. All of us.

Most of the time we do not really think about this. I’d say a majority of the time we aren’t even aware of these idols.

But they change everything.

What is an idol?

The best definition of an idol for a believer is that it is something that takes the place of God in our hearts; it’s something that becomes more important than God to us.

There are many idols. Things we may have not ever considered as idols: Children, family, friends, personal health and fitness, education, reputation, science (so-called), love for the things of this world, popularity, money, pride, celebrities, professionals (therapists, counselors, life coaches, etc.)

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the importance of biblical interpretation. I mentioned I would write a second post as to why I believe people are being so loosey-goosey with their approach to scripture. I’ve been reflecting on this much over the past month or so. Before I even wrote the first post.

I think this is the answer: Idols.

Let me give a few examples—

—A parent says they believe in the historical interpretation of the Word of God and teaches their child this very thing. But this child grows up to choose a different lifestyle. A lifestyle that the Bible clearly deems as sinful. At this point, the parent has a choice to make. Will they continue to stand on their belief in the historical understanding of scripture or will they believe that all Christians throughout history got the whole thing all wrong and go with a “new”, liberal, twisted interpretation of these clear scriptural passages?

Many parents have decided to go with the thing that is less painful (i.e. it isn’t sin and it doesn’t matter) rather than to believe the truth as it is stated in God’s Word. With a little twisting here and there by a celebrity pastor or author, combined with the belief that there can be more than one interpretation and that none of us can really know, well, you can see where it can land you.

This person’s idol is their child. And they have clearly chosen which is most important to them in this scenario.

—Worldly Science declares a lot of things about this world. Things that go clearly against the Word of God. But to believe differently than what the world believes in this area is to be viewed as unintellectual and even stupid. And so many will try to combine the truth of God’s Word with what the world teaches. Or they will just believe what the world teaches, ignoring clear scriptures that say something completely different.

This person’s idol is science.

—A person wants to live like the world. They want to watch what the world watches; listen to what the world listens to; dress like the world dresses; and talk like the world talks. But, in order to do this, one must reject the traditional understanding of worldliness. And so this “you can interpret the Bible in any old way” comes in handy, yes? Suddenly, “remove obscene talk from your mouth” doesn’t mean foul language but it can mean something totally unrelated. Modesty can be talked around; filthy entertainment is “never spoken of” in scripture, etc etc. This person loves the world and wants what they want and will twist scripture in whatever way they want.

This person’s idol is the things of this world.

—A person is struggling to find their way in life. For whatever reason. Something has them upset and they decide to seek counsel. And so they find a “Christian” Counselor. This counselor, as most of them do, tries to marry modern psychology with the Bible by taking verses out of context and twisting scripture. But because these two things cannot be combined, as they are at complete odds with one another, this counselor leads them away from the Bible and towards worldly thinking. At this point, if the person stays with that counselor, they are idolizing their counselor or perhaps the wisdom of the world. They are, in essence, saying they believe this counselor and their worldly ideas will help them more than God’s Word.

This person’s idol is a professional.

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There are so many more examples we could list. It seems there are as many idols as there are people.

But I guess what I’ve been mostly thinking about is this: What is MY idol?

I am not immune from this approach to scripture. What do I hold so dear that it colors my interpretation of scripture? What verses do I conveniently ignore because I don’t want to obey them.

What are the things that “ruffle my feathers” when they come up in a discussion about the Bible and what it teaches, simply because I am unwilling to relinquish my grip on it or to move towards change?

Mark Twain once said this: “It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it’s the parts that I do understand.”

I don’t believe Twain was a Christian, but he puts into words the plain old truth of the matter for us all, doesn’t he?

Because, at the end of the day, we can understand so much. But we don’t always like what we read in the Bible. And we certainly don’t always want to obey what it says.

And so to claim that interpretation is up for grabs and that the Bible can be interpreted any old way really works for us. It releases us from the obedience God calls for. Because we all get to decide what we need to obey. What you need to obey may not be what I need to obey.

It sounds so silly. And that’s because it is. And yet this is the “intellectual” thinking that is out there. Man thinks he can determine what is true for HIM. There are no absolutes.

We saw this kind of thinking coming years ago—no absolute truth— and now this has even weaved its way into the way church-goers think—even those who would consider themselves “evangelical Christians”.

Idols blind us so fully that we can’t even see that we have relinquished the absolute truth of scripture so that we can keep our hold on our precious idol.

I believe the first step to change is prayer. Let’s pray that God will show us what we are idolizing over and above Him and His Word. Let’s pray for humility and a willingness to SEE. Yes, it’s a painful process but spiritual growth often is painful. May we not let that stop us.

Oh, that we may cast aside our idols and believe scripture for what it simply says.

No, this is NOT easy to do. But it is So VERY CRITICAL. It always has been but perhaps never more so than in the midst of this confusing, chaotic “Christianity” we find ourselves living in.

I grew up in the era of The Waltons. And, in fact, ended up living near the real “Walton’s Mountain” in Virginia for a short period of my life as Earl Hamner, the creator of the show, was from a town near where we lived. His series about his growing up years that took place there in the 1930s was quite popular back in the 70s. The Waltons was viewed as a wholesome show the whole family could watch together. And I guess, overall, it was that.

Last night I came into our bedroom to find my husband watching an old episode of The Waltons to wind down a bit before sleeping. On the TV was Grandma helping her grandson, John Boy, learn how to preach. He had been asked to fill in for the preacher and was quite nervous about it. Grandma was pounding her fist and taking the hellfire and brimstone passages and speaking them in a loud, angry voice. Of course, you can imagine how Hollywood handled that. And you would be right.

In the next scene, John Boy is on a mountain and his Grandpa comes up to him and starts talking about how Grandma has her own style of religion but he worships God in “his own fashion”. He and God have an “understanding.” As he continued to talk about his god, it was quite easy to tell he wasn’t talking about the One True God of the Bible. He not only worshipped in his own fashion but he worshiped a god he had fashioned on his own.

In the final scene we watched, we find John Boy in his room at his desk, surrounded by several big books, presumably commentaries. He is frustrated about this sermon he is supposed to preach. His father walks in and gives him counsel: “Just stop listening to everyone around you and put those books away and look inside you. What do you want?”

As we turned it off, John Boy was listening to his father and doing just that.

I found that fifteen minutes rather fascinating. For it was a foretelling of what most professing Christians would believe fifty years later.

Most professing Christians ignore or even despise sermons that speak the plain truth of the Word—particularly the unpleasant truths, such as sin and hell (like they ignored/wrote off Grandma Walton).

They fashion an idol of their own making that suits their own desires and call it “God” (like Grandpa Walton shared). But this isn’t God. The Bible is either true or it isn’t. And if the Bible is true, then God has quite a bit to say about Himself and we’d better pay attention.

And most professing Christians these days—even preachers— look in their own hearts for ideas and to other men for counsel without any consideration for what the Bible has to say at all (like John Boy).

Fifty-plus years ago, Hollywood was already spewing out garbage about God and His Word. And we ignored it. We rationalized it away. We just thought it was a nice show “except for…”.

If we look back, we can see this dynamic with a number of TV shows. They very deliberately shift the beliefs and morality of the culture.

The Waltons normalized not only a wrong view of the Word but also normalized women as the spiritual leaders of the household instead of men; The Cosby Show normalized career-oriented moms (purporting the lie that you can have it all and nothing will suffer); Three’s Company normalized adults living together outside of marriage and opened the door for homosexuality; Murphy Brown normalized babies out of wedlock; Love Boat normalized infidelity; Star Wars normalized new age philosophy, and Lord of the Rings, Narnia, and Harry Potter normalized witchcraft and sorcery.

There are so many other examples. All these years later, these things aren’t only accepted by the world, many of them are even accepted by many Christians.

It’s actually pretty amazing how Hollywood has wormed its way into our homes and minds through that box that sits in our family rooms.

I am not saying don’t watch TV. That’s between you and the Lord. I still watch some. But perhaps we need to pay closer attention to what is being suggested to our brains through this medium. We like to turn off our brains when we watch TV but I am realizing more and more that we just can’t do this. Entertainment (even if it’s labeled “Christian”) is never just entertainment and we need to be vigilant and watchful, understanding that entertainment is one of Satan’s greatest tools in shifting a culture a specific direction.

I was planning to write the sequel to last week’s post this week, but I’ll try to do that next week. This was fresh in my mind and seemed more important for this week.

Oh, that we may remember that we have an enemy that seeks to devour us and he will use all methods and means to do so. Let us be sober and vigilant…even when—perhaps especially when—we are watching TV.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. (I Peter 5:8)

I was looking up another passage this morning when a couple of other verses caught my eye. The verses were in Ephesians six, where Paul talks to servants about how they should treat their earthly masters (vs. 5-8). As I read it, I thought about how much more so this should describe our service for God. Paul also gives similar encouragement to his readers at the end of Colossians, chapter three (vs. 22-24).

You will note the verses above are from this third chapter of Colossians. I remember coming across these verses as a young woman and they have had a profound impact on me as I’ve struggled through apathy, discouragement, and disappointment through the years. They remind me that it matters how I do the work that God has given me to do—whether it be at home, here on the blog, or in the landscaping company that we own. Our attitudes, our work ethic, our motives…they matter to God. They also remind me that I am God’s servant and it is His pleasure I seek.

Do you, like me, sometimes get caught up in pleasing people rather than in pleasing God?

It is so wonderful when we can do both—please God while we please people. That’s why being loving and nice is such an easy thing to do—it makes everyone happy. God and people love when we do nice things to others. That’s an easy way to please our Heavenly Father.

But if we want to follow God and His Word with our whole hearts, then we realize that sometimes pleasing our Heavenly Father won’t always feel so good. And it certainly won’t always make others happy.

We have to do hard things and stand up for unpopular truths. We have to speak light to people who love darkness. We have to do something that we know is right when the people around us do not understand.

It is in these moments that we must remember that it is God we are seeking to please. If we can remember this (these verses are a good reminder!) then we will be much more apt to do what is right, whether we please others or we don’t.

The interesting component to this whole conversation is that when we are pleasing people, we are often doing it for selfish reasons. We don’t speak the truth in love to someone because we just don’t want the hassle. And we don’t want to be labeled a troublemaker. We go somewhere we shouldn’t go or do something we know is wrong because we don’t want the ridicule and antagonism. We go along with the crowd because…well, it’s just easier.

Oh, that we may all grow in this area of pleasing God over pleasing others and over pleasing self. We will never do this perfectly but we are, hopefully, growing just a bit more in this area with each passing year.

I am not sure how long ago I met my dear friend, Lisa. I remember hearing about this recovering drug addict that was attending my church but I never really had opportunity to talk with her. And then one year, she began to attend the Bible Study I held in my home. She came with another friend from our church. And thus began a wonderful friendship.

It seems quite fitting that I share Lisa’s story this week, as on Saturday it will be ten years since she repented of her sins and turned to Christ as her Savior. It has been awesome to watch her grow and change. Her thirst for biblical truth is a wonderful example for any believer who comes in contact with her. She loves the Word and wants to live by it.

We come from two totally different backgrounds and, yet, in the Lord, we have become the dearest of friends. She reminds me of the reality of all that I write and talk about in regards to scripture. She brings a fresh joy and vibrancy to our Bible Study, especially for those of us who grew up in Christian homes and never experienced a radical life change. God really DOES change lives. And, sometimes, in a radical way!

I know that there are some of you out there who have children who are caught up in drug addiction. You feel so hopeless, like things will never change. I hope that this shines just a bit of light into the darkness you are experiencing. Truly, with God, nothing is impossible. As Lisa shows so clearly with her testimony. SO without further ado, here is Lisa’s testimony, a testimony she has had the opportunity to share with recovering addicts on many occasions. May God be praised!

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I was born in Williamsport, PA, held by my birth mother, then my birth father, and immediately taken away to be put into the system of adoption. I wasn’t adopted until I was almost two because I was born with a rash all over my body and poor motor skills which was a concern for those searching for their perfect baby. But God knew and He gave me a very loving, caring parents who thought I could do no wrong. Something I realize now was not so good. Although their unconditional love did show me what it felt like to be loved so very very deeply. This now, in turn, helps me understand God’s love for me.

Growing up as a child was happy. Playing outside with my brother and the five boys next door until supper time and going to the pool every beautiful summer day with my mom all seemed perfect. But as far as church, I only recall Easter bonnets and candle lighting at Christmas. My parents never really talked about God or explained anything about Him. My dad was a Mason and my mom involved in the Easter Star, so only now do I realize why.

In junior high I met a friend and every day after school we went to her house where her parents smoked. We, thinking we were cool, went into their ashtrays and lighted the leftover cigarettes, which gave me a little buzz. This was the beginning of my interest for a bigger high leading to my path into drug use.

I was a drug addict for 38 long years. I started with weed and hash which led me to cocaine, then meth, and any pills I could find. I drank to get drunk for years, I smoked crack for some of the later years. At one point my gas stove was my source of heat during the cold winter months. With drug use comes the total dishonoring of my body. The choice of men left me used and abused often. My nose has been broken, my wrist fractured, I’ve been spit on, and shoved, and used way too many times for me to even want to remember. It was so dark and I was so sad that I hung by head so low that I needed a back brace to hold my shoulders back to try to pull my head up.

I remember actually praying to God to change me–help me! How long was this going to continue? But if this was God reaching for me, I was too deep into addiction to recognize it. I turned my back and fell even deeper. On two occasions, I mixed two lethal drugs together, almost dying. I was found naked in a fetal position in the corner of my house. Once driving, I was fading in and out. I opened my eyes in the middle of a 360, veering off the road, and stopping within inches of a tree. God had plans for me.

I’ve been in handcuffs countless times and finally sentenced to six months in jail for “intent to deliver”, which makes me a felon forever. I went to church in there, promising if I got through this, I was done. I feel it was God reaching for me, never giving up, trying again and again. Yet within one week of my release, I turned away from His open arms and back into my wayward wants into the dark world of addiction yet again.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I held my dad as he took his last breath of life. For the next year, I slipped further and further into addiction and depression. I continued with many pills and found my way to other unspeakable methods of getting high, staying up for days on end until finally, I overdosed! My nephew found me with no other option than to call 911. I do not remember the paramedics slicing up through my clothing to paddle me to bring be back, nor do I remember the ride to the hospital. The first thing I do remember is coming to and the nurses asking me my birth date and name. I had no answer because I had no idea who I was. This was it: I had hit bottom. Yet God was not done with me, He had plans for me!!

I went home and knew I wanted no more of this life. I had called for rehab but the upfront costs of $42,000 just wasn’t doable for me because I wasted $40,000 of the money my father had left me. I thought to myself, I cannot do this on my own. I am going to ask God, the only One I somehow knew could help me.

I had a friend who I worked with who attended a local Bible church. About a year earlier, I let him talk me into attending, but at that point, I wasn’t ready. I went back to him and told him I’m ready to change my path in life. I said I would try this church thing. So one particular Sunday I went and let me tell you, I cried and cried, feeling as if the pastor was talking directly to me. The songs, as well, were relating directly to my life and I was like, wow, what is happening??

The next two weeks my friend would text me, checking on me, asking if I was saved. Oh yes, I believe in God, for sure! He said, no, are you saved? Oh, yes, I was baptized as a baby, I have a picture if you’d like to see it! No, he said again, are you SAVED? I said, well, then no, because I have no idea what you are talking about!

The very next Sunday, at the end of the sermon, the pastor asked for anyone who wanted to accept Jesus as their Savior to come up to the front of the sanctuary, but I was too afraid. So afterwards, I went to him and said I wasn’t saved and needed to talk to him. That very same day, January 25, 2015, I went to his office along with his wife and accepted Christ as my Savior. The following Sunday the pastor said if anyone is sure and confident of their choice, they should come up front and I’m thinking, “hmmmm?” Since he preached about hell that day, I just about ran up front and proved to myself and the public that I meant business.

It hasn’t been easy, I relapsed twice during the next four months but I continued to come to church and plug myself into any Bible study and prayer meetings available. The congregation caught wind of my story and began embracing and encouraging me, as well. God was not going to let go of me this time because now the Holy Spirit was living in me. I didn’t completely understand what that meant, but I knew I was different. I quit swearing and smoking, something I never thought possible.

But with God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

I have since been baptized, telling my story to over 300 people. It has been, and continues to be, almost unreal at times. God has pulled back my shoulders and lifted my head up as I continue to seek Him. I no longer need that back brace anymore. He continues to perform miracles in my life. I trust the Lord with all my heart. I do not lean on my own understanding. I acknowledge Him in all I do. And He has made straight my paths. (Proverbs 3:4-6).

(Find the rest of the inspiring Changed Lives series here.)

Last night, I saw a reel where a man was asking couples he saw on the street: “What is the secret to a long and happy marriage?” He interviewed three couples and each man gave basically the same answer: Listen to your wife; what she says goes.

This is actually how many couples make marriage work. The wife leads and the husband follows like a puppy dog. Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear.

But what does God have to say about marriage? Does God care who leads? When I was younger, there was a lot of biblical teaching on this subject. I am unsure that this is still the case in most churches.

As always, our first step is to go to the Word. What does it say in the Bible about marriage? Ephesians 5:22-25 is one place we can go to to see God’s opinion about marriage and what it should look like–

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

I think one of the reasons the church stopped talking about this is because women stopped wanting to hear it. Worldly feminist ideals took root in the hearts of those claiming to love Christ and a disdain and antagonism for this pattern of marriage was a result.

It is rare to hear someone clearly state the truth about marriage anymore: God designed the husband to lead and the woman to joyfully submit to his loving leadership.

Do we see potential issues with this design when carried out by sinners? Of course. Many men do not lovingly lead. They are harsh and unkind and prideful. But that, too, is not God’s design. The husband is sinning if he leads in this manner. And many women do not submit. They want control. They want to be the one who makes the decisions.

I am currently reading through Genesis and this book has many examples of wives usurping their husband’s leadership roles, husbands allowing this, and the two of them together leading their families into the consequences of this departure from God’s design.

Sarai (Sarah) is one example (Genesis 16). She told her husband to lie with her handmaiden so that she could have a child. Abram (Abraham) should have stood up against his wife’s trying to manipulate their future and do God’s job but instead he said, “yes, dear”, and the rest is history. This is an extreme example, as we continue to see the ramifications of his lack of leadership in that decision still today.

I do not know why God designed things the way He did, but I know that God’s way is always best. The husband is responsible before God for his family. I think that is a big responsibility and, frankly, I am glad it is not mine, as a woman. But most men relegate this responsibility to their wives. Sometimes wives don’t even want it. Especially in regards to children.

Another thing that has really challenged the family is the worldly philosophy that our children are the boss. And so we see toddlers telling their parents what they will or will not do. We see kids making demands and running the show. This, too, is a great aberration of God’s design for the family.

Teaching our children to obey and respect us, as their God-given authority, is what will lay the groundwork for their obedience to and respect for God as they grow into adulthood. If we allow rebellion and disobedience when they are two, we can’t expect they are going to just somehow become respectful and obedient as they grow older.

The husband is the leader, the wife is his valuable partner, and the children are a blessing from the Lord and we are to teach them according to scripture. God has such a wonderful plan for families it we’d but follow it.

How important it is that we recognize God’s design for the family and do our best, as genuine believers, to live by it.

Of course, let’s be honest… this is not always easy. Personality can make this a real challenge. Some men aren’t natural leaders and they need to really work at this. Some women are born leaders and so they naturally want to take charge. And some children have extremely strong wills and they can make teaching obedience and submission to authority more than a little challenging!

But, through it all, we need to remember God’s ideal and keep working towards it. We will never do it perfectly (if you’ve learned the secret of how to do this perfectly please let me know!! lol!) but we must keep working at it, no matter what the circumstances or what our personalities.

And there’s no end to this, right? As we get older and move into our empty nest and senior years, the temptation can be to grow lazy in how we live out our faith in the everyday grind. We settle into “what always was”, rather than trying to continue to grow in the area of marriage.

This plays into how we raise our children, as well. We have to do what is best for them, which won’t always feel very good at all. But if we parent by our feelings, we are loving ourselves more than we are loving our children. Such a tough truth.

Let’s be honest, shall we? Satan would like nothing more then to destroy marriages and families, for he knows that a healthy family is the building block of a healthy society. More importantly, I believe he realizes that broken homes and moving away from God’s pattern leads to many issues that keep Christians distracted and depressed and in despair, which keeps them from building God’s Kingdom.

We can clearly see that Satan has experienced spectacular success in destroying the family unit.

While we can’t control society as a whole, we can do what we can to have a biblical marriage and family in our own home. God’s way is best. He didn’t give these “rules” to make our lives miserable. He gave these guidelines because He knows what will actually bring about a happy marriage and successful kids. We obey God because it is right and we don’t follow His guidelines for our own worldly gain but…amazingly, what is best for God is best for us! We are so blessed when we obey God’s commands and follow His will.

I know what I have written here is not the most popular perspective on the topic of marriage and family these days. But popularity isn’t our goal, is it? As a redeemed child of God, our question is: How do I live my life to please God? And we find that answer, little by little, as we search the scriptures. May we all continue, no matter how old we are, to seek after God and desire to please Him in all areas of our lives.

There is a phrase used three times in the New Testament that we give little thought to these days. It is the phrase “born again”. Instead we’d rather talk about “accepting Jesus” or “say a prayer”. But what is this phrase?

This idea of being born again means we have new life! Our old heart of stone is turned to flesh (Ezekiel 36:26) and we are a new creature in Christ; old things are passed away, behold all things become new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

But if we are honest, there is something called “cultural Christianity” and it is without any power at all. And, in fact, this false religion inoculates people against true, biblical Christianity and deceives them into believing they have that golden ticket to heaven and can go on living however they want.

I.W. Charlton puts it like this—

“There is a strong tendency to look upon the Atonement of Christ as possessing some quality by virtue of which God can excuse and overlook sin in the Christian, a readiness to look upon sinning as the inevitable accompaniment of human nature ‘until death do us part,’ and to look upon Christianity as a substitute for rather than a cause of personal holiness of life.”

Oh, how true this is! How many do we know who claim to be a “Christian” and yet show no interest in holy living or pleasing the Lord. Instead, they create a god of their own devices, a god who is all love and no judgement. A god who has provided a way for them to continue on in their sin and their worldliness. The only thing this god requires is that you love others and be a nice person.

That is NOT the God of the Bible.

I am currently reading a book by Amy Carmichael called “Things as They Are”. In this book she shares the very real challenges of being a missionary in the late 1800s/early 1900s India. They are countless and they are beyond difficult. I had no idea.

But the one chapter I did not expect to read was about the nominal Christians of the country. Apparently there was a group of nominal “Christians” but they weren’t alive in Christ.

They had no interest in Jesus Christ or His commands. They were content to live in their deception. They were always nice and polite. And totally disinterested in the truth.

Amy writes this about this group of people in India—

I have told you how much we need your help for the work among the heathen; but often we feel we need it almost as much for the work among the Christians. Over and over again it is told, but still it is hardly understood, that the Christians need to be converted; that the vast majority are not converted; that statistics may mislead, and do not stand for Eternity work; that many a pastor, catechist, teacher, has a name to live, but is dead; that the Church is very dead as a whole—thank God for every exception. We do not say this thoughtlessly; the words are a grief to write. We humble ourselves that it is so, and take to ourselves the blame. It is true that the corpse of the dead Church is dressed, just as it is at home, only here it is even more dressed; and because the spirit of the land is intensely religious, its grave-clothes are vestments. But dressed death is still death.

Dressed death is still death. People can use all the right words and phrases; they can be the nicest people in the world; they can serve in their churches and communities; but dressed death is still death.

I read her words and I realized she is describing the American church. And that this isn’t a new problem. There has been this lie in the church for a long, long time. This lie that I can be as worldly as I want; that I can continue in my sin…and, this, because God loves me and forgives me.

The scripture passages about forsaking our sin and the world are conveniently ignored. The passages about denying ourselves and taking up our cross in order to be a true follower of Christ are ignored. They want a one-sided, selfish religion where God gives everything.

But this isn’t true Christianity. When God changes us, He gives us a new heart and He changes our desires. We no longer want to sin or to love the world. And we begin our journey in turning away from these things. Some do this slowly and others change seemingly overnight, but all who have been truly redeemed love God and His Word and, deep down, we desire to obey Him—even if we don’t always “feel like it”.

I, along with Amy, do not write these things thoughtlessly. I write them with much grief. But I also write them because they are true. And if it leads just one of you to have a hard conversation with someone about their soul or to start praying fervently for someone who claims Christ but has no fruit, then I know it will have not been in vain.

While we can’t judge the salvation of another person, God plainly gives us, in His Word, the description of a true follower of Christ. If someone does not match that description in any way, then we have reason to pray for them and to have those hard conversations born out of our deep love for someone. And that none of us enjoy.

I know Amy took a lot of grief for writing the truth about the mission field. And, in fact, she talks in the book how the people didn’t want to hear the truth of the mission field but just wanted all the happy stories. And yet Amy had the courage to write the truth because it was the truth.

This love for happy, positive stories has grown until people can hardly bear to read anything negative. And, in fact, those who dare to speak the negative are demonized.

And, yet, the truth is still the truth. Dressed death is still death.

Life is made up of wonderful truths and hard truths. The Bible is filled with wonderful truths and also hard truths. May we have the courage to speak both. And, in so doing, may God use our lives for His honor and glory.

2025 is here. Isn’t that hard to believe? Time just keeps going…and going…and going…

Last week I heard a sermon about the small verse we find in John 3:

He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30)

The context for this tiny, convicting verse is found in earlier verses, where we find John the Baptist explaining that he is not the Christ. John the Baptist made this declaration about his own ministry and it was written down for us to read in God’s Word.

The question from the sermon was simply: How will Christ increase in my life in 2025?

I’ve been thinking about this question ever since.

In looking up the Greek words, we can know that the translations are pretty straightforward—Increase: to augment or grow greater; Decrease: to make less or inferior.

The natural tendency for all of us is to increase ourselves. We want to grow stronger and better and have an easier life. Our natural inclination is to worry about ourselves and how things are going to affect us.

It goes against all that is in us to NOT do this.

That’s where Jesus Christ comes in. Truly. We can’t think of Christ first and foremost if we aren’t saved. This is impossible.

But for those of us who are saved, it’s still hard, isn’t it? At least it is for me. Our love for self doesn’t disappear after we are saved and we continue to naturally be drawn to what is best for ourselves.

Loving ourselves looks so different for each one of us. Some of us are obvious about it. Others of us are not. Selfishness comes in all kinds of ways and it’s a temptation for every single one of us. Saved or unsaved.

The difference is that, as believers, we know that this little verse should be describing us, too. Christ should be increasing in our lives and we should be decreasing.

Let’s think about a few changes or resolutions that people generally make for the new year—things like losing weight, drinking less alcohol, keeping to a budget, and others.

Why do people make these resolutions? We make them because we want to have a better life. It’s mostly about ourselves and our experience here on earth.

And there’s nothing wrong with improving ourselves. Losing weight is a good thing, having self control when we spend money is a good thing, drinking less (or not at all) is a great thing.

My question for myself is: Is what God wants more important than what I want? Is what I want a biblical desire or is it a selfish desire? WHY do I want what I want?

The other night, we were talking about how entertainment has changed our culture. Most of us can’t remember the culture without the black box in our home, filling and gobbling up our precious minutes. And it’s grown and grown, until the culture is utterly consumed by technology. Handheld devices have irrevocably changed the culture and, overall, it is not for the better. Stop and think for a moment how it’s all changed in your lifetime.

How is this relevant to our topic of Christ increasing and me decreasing?

It’s because we never allow ourselves time to think anymore. We don’t pray. We don’t reflect. That little device dings and flashes and we become its slave. Oh, I know this doesn’t describe us all. But, as a whole, this is the culture.

How do we experience conviction on how the Lord wants us to grow and change if we never give ourselves time to think? How does Christ increase in our lives when we are only concerned with the here and now? How do we be the believer that God wants us to be when our attention span is just a few short minutes long and then we lose concentration? How do we learn to think if we can’t even give another person our attention but instead choose to watch a game on TV or look at our phones at a family gathering?

Mediating on God’s Word and discussing the things of the Lord with like-minded believers… do we do this? These are the things that motivate us towards living a life where Christ increases and we decrease.

Last night someone asked me a question. It was a question about whether or not something is right or wrong. It doesn’t matter what the question was. As we discussed it, we had all kinds of opinions.

At one point, my youngest daughter said this: The key is that we are willing to surrender this to God, if we believe it’s wrong.

We never did come to a conclusion about the question but her point was an excellent one.

This is so often our problem, isn’t it? The things that would increase Christ in our lives and decrease ourselves are not things we want to give up. They are wrapped about with our own strong desires and sometimes with deep sentiment and precious memories.

For example, Disney was a hard one for me personally. We had many precious memories as a family that surrounded Disney. I wanted to take my grandchildren to Disney World. When I came face to face with the fact that Mr. Disney was not the nice man everyone says he was and that, in fact, his movies and places promote things that are clearly against scripture, I balked. I rationalized. I denied. I ignored. Honestly, it took much prayer and quite a bit of time to finally remove this from my life. This has been a few years now, and I am not sorry. I have no regrets.

But when we are in the midst of something, we can’t imagine our lives without it. And so we just ignore the conviction that niggles in the back of our brains.

Listen, I am right with you in this. God has made me aware of some real weaknesses in my life that must change if He is to increase in my life.

We can’t do it alone. It’s why our time in prayer and the Word is so important. It is when we are convicted about something that God, through His Holy Spirit, gives us strength and paves the way to change. HE makes it possible. No amount of self-discipline or hutzpa will bring spiritual transformation. It is just a bit like riding an electric bicycle: We need to pedal, but God is the motor. He is what makes peddling up that impossibly steep hill possible.

Thankfully, we aren’t required to change everything instantly. But, little by little, we take small steps towards looking more like Jesus.

I know this is not a “feel good” New Year’s message. But at the, end of the day, as my middle daughter told me yesterday: feelings are irrelevant. And so they are. Feeling good rarely yields biblical fruit.

As we head into 2025, I want to decrease and I want Christ to increase. Will you join me in purposefully setting aside time to pray and be in the Word faithfully? In being more intentional to make time for reflection instead of always gravitating towards something to fill my mind? (Phones, tvs, people)

I am not sure where you are in all of this, but I know how far I have to go. May we grow together, through God’s Word and the power of His Holy Spirit, and look more like Christ this time next year!

Today I present the ending of this year’s story. I hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Merry Christmas! (You can find the rest of the story here at this link.)

  I waited in my car at the airport cell lot, Christmas music playing merrily in the background. Matt’s plane was due to arrive any minute and then, together, we’d drive the remainder of the way to Grandpa and Grandma’s house in Frosty Falls. I was only there for about ten minutes when my brother texted that his plane had arrived.
     Soon, I was parked in front of the Arrivals door of the small airport, anxiously looking for Matt, who I had not seen since our time together with Mom. I got out of the car as soon as I saw his tall, lanky frame walk through the door.
     “Oh, I am so glad you came,” I said as I hugged him.
     “Me, too!” He said with a smile.
     We were soon on the road and spent the next two hours catching up on life. He told me about his new girlfriend who sounded perfect for him. Seattle seemed to suit him well and I rather guessed he’d stay there permanently.
     The two hours passed quickly and soon we were pulling alongside the little house on Fir Street. The flowers from summer had all faded away and now the white fence held a number of wreaths all along its length, their twinkling white lights lighting up the dreary day.
     Grandma must’ve been watching for us out the window because as soon as I put the car in park, she was out the door and opening the gate, running towards us with open arms. Grandpa wasn’t far behind.
     “Oh my goodness!” Grandma cried, “this can’t be Matthew!”
     They had never met my brother, as he had been born in Florida, and they were both so thrilled. After giving us both warm hugs, they helped us take our luggage into the house.
     “I am so sorry, Matt, but I only have one guest room. I hope you don’t mind that I set up a little cot for you in Grandpa’s study,” she told him to follow her, and I tagged along. She went back the hallway and stopped at the tiny room that held a small desk and an easy chair with a small hassock in front of it. Along one wall, in front of a bookcase, stood a comfortable looking cot.
     “Oh, this will work just fine,” said my brother agreeably. I knew his feet would stick off the end of that cot and I was proud of my little brother for his good attitude.
     As my brother got settled, I went to the guest room that had served as my room last summer. It felt so perfect being there and I settled in with a contented sigh.

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     On the Sunday before Christmas we went to church with Grandpa and Grandma and then we went to Uncle Randy’s for the family Christmas. It was a wonderful day with family. Matt loved meeting all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins and especially hit it off with his cousin, Luke, who was a few years older than him and also an engineer.
     That evening, Matt and I talked with Grandpa and Grandma about how much we had missed growing up. There was real sadness in this realization.
     Grandpa, also feeling regretful at his part in the broken relationship, mourned the past, “your mom didn’t want anything to do with your daddy’s family and so we stopped trying. But I can see now that we should have tried harder,” he turned to Grandma at this last phrase with a tear in his eye but then he reminded us all to be thankful, “Well, we are all here together now and that’s what matters! I hope we can spend many happy Christmases together in the future.”
     We all agreed and headed to bed.
     Christmas Eve dawned bright and sunny. Grandpa said he was going to take us to see Frosty Falls, which was in its winter glory. Grandma was going to stay home and cook, as she had in mind to make my brother and me a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner. Some of the family would stop by on Christmas Day but tonight it would just be the four of us.
     Frosty Falls did not disappoint. It was amazing in all of its frozen splendor, as the sun turned the icicles into sparkly gems. Grandpa gave us some of its history and shared a memory or two from his own childhood about the falls. And then he started talking about his boys.
     “We’d come here every year as a family to look at the falls and then go for hot cocoa to Glenda’s Diner in town,” he said softy as he remembered and then he looked up with a twinkle in his eye, “Why don’t we go to Glenda’s for hot cocoa now? I haven’t done that for years!”
     Soon we found ourselves seated in a little old-fashioned booth of the homey diner. Glenda’s daughter, a plump and smiling middle-aged woman, greeted us. Soon there were mugs of steaming hot cocoa and pieces of homemade pie on the Formica tabletop in front of us.
     As we sipped on the hot chocolate and enjoyed the pie, Grandpa recalled some of the antics of my dad and his brothers in their growing up years.
     My brother and I laughed a lot as we listened. Suddenly, my Grandpa grew quiet.
     “I haven’t seen your dad since we went to visit him last summer, Tara,” he said seriously, “I thought for sure he’d come around at some point, but we are still waiting and we are still praying.”
     “Me, too, Grandpa. Me, too,” I said sadly.
     Matt, who could hardly even remember Dad, just quietly listened to us. Most of his life had been lived without a dad and he was absolutely loving this time with Grandpa. I suspected that Grandpa was filling a need in Matt’s heart that he hadn’t even realized he had.
     “Well, let’s go see how your grandma is making out,” said Grandpa as he got up to pay the bill.
     As it turns out, Grandma was having a bit of trouble, “I cannot get this oven to turn on, all of a sudden. It was working perfectly fine this morning,” she bemoaned. The warm delicious-looking pies sitting on the counter confirmed this truth. A big beef roast sat in its roasting pan on top of the stove, prepared for its turn in the oven.
     For the next forty-five minutes, Grandpa and Matt worked together to fix the oven. As I watched the two of them, I could see how great it was for Matt to be here. I was so glad he had agreed to come.
     They were successful and around 6:45pm, just a little later than the original plan, we sat down to eat a feast of roast beef, mashed potatoes, baked corn, green bean casserole, and stuffing. We filled our plates and enjoyed a wonderful time of fellowship together, laughing and talking like we had known each other our whole lives.
     We were just finishing up dinner when we heard a small sound coming from the front of the house.
     “Was that the door?” My grandpa asked. We all grew quiet and waited.
     Soon we heard it again. It sounded like a soft knock at the door. Grandpa got out of his chair and went to get the door.
     He came back to the kitchen and who should be following him but Dad!
     “Look what the cat dragged in!” Grandpa joked awkwardly and happily.
     Dad gave a hesitant smile and stood uncomfortably by the kitchen entrance.
     “Raymond!” my grandma cried, “come in, come in! Let me fix you a plate of food!” She bustled around getting all of dad’s favorites and putting them on a plate. Meanwhile, Grandpa grabbed an extra chair and set it right between my brother and me.
     My brother gave me a rather distressed look as he slid his chair over to make room.
     “Hi, Dad,” I said evenly, trying to be friendly despite my uneasiness.
     “Hi kids,” said my dad nervously.
     I’d like to say that was the best Christmas Eve ever. Instead, it was actually kind of strange and awkward.
     But it was the first step that my dad took to heal his relationship with his family. And that was enough.

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     After spending a couple of awkward hours with us that Christmas Eve, Dad went back to his cabin. But we did see him a few more times over the course of our week and it grew less awkward to be together. And, while he was still a bit antagonistic towards any mention of God, it did seem as if his heart was softening just a bit.
     A week later, my brother flew back to Seattle and I drove back to Florida. But, this time, I was going back to pack up my things. My grandparents had invited me to live with them and I had decided to accept their offer. I had nothing keeping me in Florida and I longed to spend time with my grandparents and the rest of the family I was just getting to know.
     And so it was with a merry heart that I drove back to Florida, said good-bye to my friends, and packed up that little cabin by the lake. It held many precious memories of Mom and my growing up years but it was time for me to move on.
     And so just three weeks later, I found myself pulling up alongside that little house with the white fence for the third time that had become home to me. I didn’t know if I’d ever really get to know my dad or if he’d ever come to know the Lord. These were still big question marks. But what I did know was that I was unconditionally loved by my grandparents and, for now, that was enough. God had given me a family when I needed it most.