(If you’d like to read the rest of this Christmas story, you will find it here)

     Martin had opened up the store and restocked a few shelves and then he turned to Linda, “I think I’ll go check on the kids now,” he said, putting on his heavy coat and thick fur-lined boots.
     “Great,” said Linda as she looked worriedly out the window. It had snowed a few inches yesterday and, while the snow had stopped during the night, it was so cold and windy. She would feel very relieved when Martin had checked to make sure they were okay.
     Martin put Linda’s brown and tan hand-knitted scarf around his neck and put on his gloves and then said “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” and walked out the door.
     Linda sighed as she watched him trudge through the snow up the street. Thankfully, it didn’t sound like the children lived too far away but she really hated that he had to go out in this weather. She hoped the bright winter sun would warm him up as he walked.
     Meanwhile, Martin walked through the snow singing his favorite hymn. “A Mighty Fortress is our God” rang out in the winter sunshine as he walked as quickly as he could through the fresh snow. Soon he was standing before the door of the rundown cabin. He lifted his hand to knock.
     After a moment, Joey opened the door. He looked fearful and Martin realized he didn’t recognize him.
     “Hi, son. I am Mrs. Bell’s husband. You can call me Mr. Martin,” he smiled warmly and reached his hand out to the boy.
     Joey’s face filled with relief. In fact, the relief seemed so great, Martin began to wonder if something else was going on.
     “Is everything okay here? We wanted to make sure you both have what you need.”
     Joey’s shoulders slumped under the heavy load he had been carrying on his young shoulders.
      “Actually, sir, it’s not okay. My sister woke up all hot this morning. First, she’s hot and then she’s cold. I can’t get her to eat or drink anything. I just don’t know what to do,” he wrung his hands in despair and his eyes were filled with fright.
     Martin was wonderfully calm in any situation. He asked if he could check on June and Joey moved aside to let him in.
     He glanced around the cold, drafty cabin as he entered. This was no place for children to be by themselves. He shook his head in frustration at the mother who would leave her children all by themselves in a place like this and without provisions.
     When he saw June lying there, he grew alarmed. He reached his arm out to feel her hot forehead. His expression was sober as he said kindly to Joey, “I wonder if you and your sister might be willing to spend a few days with Mrs. Bell and me? That way we could keep an eye on her and help her feel better.”
     Joey’s heart started beating faster as he considered going to the home of strangers. He was going to say “no, thank you,” but just as he was forming the words, his sister groaned on the sofa. He knew she needed help that he couldn’t give.
     “Okay,” he said softly.
     He quickly gathered a few things and tucked them in an old bag. Martin wrapped the small girl in the warmest blanket he could find and, picking her up gently in his arms, they were soon on their way out the door. Suddenly he stopped and looked at Joey’s feet.
     “Son, do you have some boots?”
     “I don’t,” he said simply.
     “Well, then, we will have to be sure to warm up those feet when we get to my house,” Martin gave him a friendly grin and together they started the walk to town.          

     Linda heard the bell and looked up from the counter, where she stood going over some accounts. When she saw Martin carrying the little girl, her heart sank. Something was wrong.
     She rushed over to him and he said quietly, “Can you hold her for a moment while I take my boots off? And then we will take her upstairs,” and then turning to Joey, who stood shivering, “why don’t we take our shoes off here at the door and then we will go upstairs and warm up,” he smiled.
     “Martin, we need the doctor.”
     “Yes, I plan to go get him as soon as I get the children settled. I’ll stop at Martha’s on my way to see if she can watch the store for a few hours as we sort things out here.” Martha was a lady who had helped Mr. Lambert out before he sold the store and had continued to help them when they needed it.
     Martin and Linda took the children upstairs and made them comfortable. June was laid gently on the sofa, while Joey was given a comfortable arm chair with a hot water bottle for his feet. Linda went to the spare bedroom and was soon back with an armful of cozy quilts. She tucked two around June and gave another one to Joey.
     Soon Martin was out the door and Linda sank down next to June on the sofa. She laid the girl’s head in her lap and turned to Joey, “when did her fever come on?”
     Joey sighed, “this morning. She seemed fine yesterday,” and then he stopped as he remembered something, “although now that I think about it, she didn’t want any supper.”
     “Hmmm… well, I’d guess she just came down with some type of flu. It’s going around, you know,” noticing the growing fear in Joey’s eyes, she quickly added, “most people recover quite nicely from the flu.”
     “My grandma died from the flu,” the boy said quietly.
     A tear ran down the left side of his face as he finally sat in a safe and warm place with adults to care for him. He had not felt this safe or warm or cared about since his grandma had passed on.
     Linda seemed to sense this and, looking tenderly at the young man, said, “don’t worry, Joey, we will do everything we can to help June. And you.”
     As Linda gently rubbed June’s head, her restlessness decreased and her breathing evened out. Soon she was sleeping peacefully.
     As the three sat there in silence, Linda prayed for the children. She asked the Lord to show Martin and her how to best help them. Love was quickly growing in her heart for these two precious souls.

I can remember, a few years back, when I friended someone on Facebook who had some interesting things to say regarding this world. I didn’t know this guy but he was recommended by a friend. He flat-out rejected my friend request based on the fact that I celebrated Christmas, according to my Facebook page. He thought that celebrating Christmas is wrong and wanted no parts with anyone who gave any attention to this day. I’ve run into that many times in the opposite direction. Being in a public kind of position with a blog and Facebook page, many people have rejected me because they don’t like something I write. I know that I have done this, as well. Particularly when I was young, so very passionate about my opinions, and severely lacking in grace. It is tempting to write people off if they don’t agree with us. But, oh, how ungodly and…well, wrong. I am not sure what made me think of this today, but it seems like something to think about as we move into the holiday season with all of the gatherings.

Our culture is such a paradox. On one hand, we say we should never judge people. Just love, love, love. But, on the other hand, as soon as an opinion is expressed that someone doesn’t agree with, judgement comes immediately through cold silence or even breaking off friendship. So which is it?

I guess we don’t really care which the world chooses. The world will choose what it will. Our concern is scripture. How do we respond to those we don’t agree with, according to scripture?

Grace Lived Out. What does it look like?

There are so many verses we could turn to, but let’s just turn to a few verses from Colossians, chapter 3–

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;¹³ Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.¹⁴ And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15)

So, in light of these verses, how do we respond to someone who we don’t agree with? Let’s break it down.

First, Paul instructs us, through the Holy Spirit, that we are to be filled with mercy for one another, we are to be kind, humble, meek (endure with patience and without resentment), and longsuffering. Now let’s think of these things in light of how we tend to treat someone we don’t agree with.

In fact, many of us often do the opposite. The words impatience, unkind, pride, and short-tempered come to mind (even if we never speak a word!)

People say things in the heat of the moment. We are all tempted to frustration and anger when we feel passionately about something and someone disagrees with us. But if we desire to obey scripture, then we need to intentionally turn from our fleshly desires and, instead, bring kindness and humility to these disagreements. Even in our thoughts. Many of us will choose not to say much but we will not have very kind or humble thoughts about the person. Sin starts in our mind.

Another thing we can learn from these verses is that we are to forgive. This means we don’t reject someone or unfriend them or give them a cold shoulder because they said something we don’t like. If someone has a quarrel with us, we forgive them, plain and simple. We don’t make the quarrel worse. Instead, as Romans 12:18, instructs we, “as much as it is up to us, leave peaceably with all men.” We do what we can to keep things peaceful.

We are also instructed in these verses to put on charity (another word for love). A genuine love for others will smooth many things over. Loving others as we love ourselves (we all love ourselves quite naturally) will change everything. Christ has shown us so much love and grace and this alone should give us motivation to do the same for those around us.

And, finally, we are to allow God’s peace to rule in our hearts. When we lack grace for someone, God’s peace is not ruling. When we are mad at someone for a stance they have taken, God’s peace is not ruling. When we reject someone because we don’t agree with them, God’s peace is not ruling.

The entire passage ends with “and be thankful”. A grateful heart alters how we look at most things. When we are grateful, envy melts away; we can focus on what is good about someone, instead of what frustrates us; we approach life with a different perspective.

Now, what about arguments or debates about doctrine? About things that are clearly taught in scripture? We cannot deny that God tells us to mark and avoid certain people. We are told not to let them even enter our doors. What about when it is something that is heretical?

Well, these are big deals. We are to be very careful about false teaching. And, so in these cases, much prayer is needed. But scripture makes it clear that the answer is never in quarreling and debating. These two things are born out of pride and never from a humble heart of love. Discussion is not wrong if conducted with the right heart attitude. But when we are tempted to debate or argue over a clear truth of scripture, let’s instead pray. Pray for the person’s blind eyes to be opened. Pray for humility and kindness. Pray that God would give opportunity to have an open and honest discussion with them, rather than a heated debate that does no one any good at all and taints the name of Jesus.

God has shown us incredible love and amazing grace. In that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). That deserves an exclamation point. Christ died for us! We need Christ to save us because we are sinners (I Corinthians 15:3-4). We are all sinners (Romans 3:10). Do we think we are better than someone else because they don’t agree with us?

Oh, that we may all bring mercy, kindness, forgiveness, and love to our family gatherings. To our Christmas parties with co-workers and friends. To our get-togethers with church family. May we live grace out.

It is Friday and time for Part 2 of this year’s story. If you’d like to read part 1, you will find the link here (along with links for all of the Christmas stories).

      As Joey and June walked to town, it began to snow. Although they both gazed at the big wet flakes with delight, they shivered in their threadbare coats and began to walk faster. Joey looked up at the overcast sky, “I wonder how much it’s fixing to snow? We’d better get to the store and right back home again,” he said to his sister.
      June remained quiet at his side, her short legs trying to keep up with her brother’s quickening pace. Soon they were at Lambert’s General Store. A little bell jingled over their heads as they opened the door to notify Mr. Lambert of entering customers.
      But it wasn’t reticent Mr. Lambert who greeted them. Instead, they saw a woman they had never seen before. She was pleasantly round with graying chestnut-colored hair held in a loose bun. Her warm brown eyes lit up as she offered a friendly smile to the children as they walked through the door.
     “Good morning, children! Welcome to our store,” and she proceeded to tell them a detailed story about how she and her husband had recently purchased the store from Mr. Lambert who had gone to live with his daughter in a different state. She finished her story with, “my name is Mrs. Bell. What are your names?”
      Joey was about to answer, when June piped up, “I’m June and this is my big brother, Joey.”
      “Well, so nice to meet you, June and Joey,” she said, smiling, “and what can I get for you today?”
      “We need some food,” June stated matter-of-factly. And then she continued before her brother could stop her, “our mom left us a few weeks back and we haven’t seen her since. And now we are out of food. But we found some money in the cabin so we came here to buy food. Joey says we will have to be very careful so that the food lasts for a long time because …” At this point Joey gave his sister a small kick and, looking at him with surprise, she stopped talking abruptly.
      At June’s confession, Linda Bell’s face grew more and more concerned, “your mom hasn’t been back? And it’s been how long?”
      Joey finally spoke up and told an outright lie, “we are just fine, ma’am. She will come back soon. Maybe even tomorrow. She went looking for work and didn’t need two kids tagging along. We just need a little food to get by.”
      “Hmmmm,” Linda looked doubtful, “your dad? Where is he?”
     “He left right after I was born. I haven’t even met him,” said June. Joey’s face grew red and his discomfort grew as his sister so readily gave this stranger such personal information.
     Linda’s face looked thoughtful, “well, would you mind telling me where you live? Sometimes we get clothing donations at the church and I could keep my eye out for your sizes. We are always looking for good places for that clothing to go to. And it would just be for now, you know. ‘Til your mama returns,” Linda had a way of making it feel like they were helping her instead of the other way around.
      She quickly scribbled down the information on a piece of scrap paper as the children turned to look around the store. She helped them gather some food items that would last a while. As she placed their selections in a bag, she tucked in a few extra items and told them that the cost “was just exactly what they had”.
     As the children walked out the door, arms full, Linda was already deliberating on ways she could help them. She also wanted to confirm that the children’s mother did return. And she just might give her a piece of her mind, if she did! Why, the nerve of a woman leaving her children all alone in the winter without ample food or money. Some people, she thought with disgust. God was already answering the simple but heartfelt prayer of the children for help through the kind-hearted store owner.
     As the bell rang upon the children’s departure from the store Linda’s husband, Martin, returned from the storage room, “Who was that?”
     Linda gave a troubled sigh as she shared as much as she knew. Their conversation was cut short as the door jangled again and another customer entered.

     A few hours later the two of them sat in the spacious, homey rooms above the store talking and enjoying hot tea and biscuits covered with jam.
     “I just cannot get those children out of my mind,” said Linda.
     “Well, there’s not a whole lot we can do,” said her practical but kind-hearted husband, “we don’t really know their situation and we don’t want to put our noses where they don’t belong,” he continued, winking at her. His wife did have a tendency to do that and it had gotten them into trouble a time or two.
     “Oh, I know,” she said softly. But when she went to bed that night, her thoughts were on the children who had no mother to care for them and little food. She listened to the howling wind outside and wondered if they were staying warm.
     The following morning, the children continued to be on her mind and she couldn’t stop talking about them to Martin as the two ate breakfast.
     Martin just sat and listened, but as they finished eating, he stood up and looked fondly at his wife, “let’s open the store and then later on this morning, I’ll go check on them.”
     Linda face broke out into a huge smile of gratitude, “you’d do that?”
     “Of course I would. I want to make sure those kids are okay and I want to keep you happy,” he said with a teasing grin.
     “Oh, you…” she laughed and then her face grew serious, “but thank you.”

The other day I was walking through an unfamiliar grocery store, browsing though the many aisles where there is a selection I cannot find at the stores near home.

I soon found myself in the Christmas candy aisle, gazing at all the many treats to be found there, when my eyes landed on a tin covered with a photo of brightly colored candies.

In an instant, my mind went back to Christmases of yesteryear, where this candy always had a place. Ribbon candy, the hard candy with the flower in the center, the straws and squares filled with chocolate or mint…

I could almost taste it.

I don’t normally buy candy (I am not its biggest fan) but that drew me in—despite it’s rather expensive price—and I picked up the box and put it in my cart.

When I got home, I opened that box and picked out a piece. I savored it and enjoyed it and…haven’t touched the box since. It was good but not as good as I remember and I am still not much of a candy fan. I will enjoy it throughout the season, I am sure. If I don’t, my husband will, as he is a big fan of candy.

Memories are funny things, aren’t they? They can trick us into forming opinions. Sometimes those opinions are accurate and sometimes they just aren’t.

I was thinking about this as I realized over the past few weeks that I have formed opinions about a few people based on one thing they may have said in the past or one thing that happened.

Is this even fair?

Is my memory even correct about what was said or what I “remember” happening? Or did it become exaggerated? Was it “mis-remembered”?

As I was reflecting on this, my heart sank, realizing that people were probably still judging me on one of the many stupid things I have said in the past. One of the biggest crosses to bear if you are a “talker” is this. Many times we aren’t even aware that we offended or hurt someone and it was never our intention to do so.

I don’t think I talk without thinking like I used to, although I am sure it still happens sometimes. I have started praying as soon as I leave a conversation that has made me worry about offending someone. O, Lord, please let them know my heart. Please let them know I didn’t mean to offend them. O, please help them to forgive me if I said something with the wrong tone or in a sinful way.

I don’t know if He has answered that prayer. And I cannot control how someone else responds. I can only continue to work on making sure anything that leaves my mouth is said with love and humility. It will be a lifelong struggle for someone like me. But it is truly my desire to please the Lord in all I say.

But as I was thinking about my struggle in this area and the grace I long to receive from others, I realized I was not extending the same grace.

And so now I am going to choose to extend grace. I am going to stop judging someone based on a past offhand comment that my imperfect memory has contrived to give motive or purpose to.

Life is short. Relationships are hard enough without imperfect memories crowding our minds and adding dark shadows to our relationships.

That candy was good but it wasn’t as good as I remembered. The joy of that candy was in the memory of it.

It was a good reminder that my memory is not perfect. Sometimes it remembers things in an exaggerated good way and sometimes it remembers things in an exaggerated bad way. And many times it doesn’t remember anything at all! Isn’t it amazing how much we don’t remember from the past? But that’s another subject altogether, isn’t it?

I am sharing this today in hopes that it may encourage us all to extend grace to others and to not rely on our memories that really cannot be relied upon.

And if someone did say something hurtful or awkward or stupid, then let’s make the choice today to forgive them and wipe the slate clean.

Because life is just too short to base our relationships on the past.

**PLEASE NOTE: This post is NOT referring to serious things that have happened in the past. I am not referring to abuse or to habitual actions and words that have caused much pain. I am referring here only to the off-hand comments or actions that are said or done (often unintentionally) and which we tend to exaggerate in our minds.

Prayer is so critical to the Christian life. And we believers know that there is so much more to a godly prayer life than simply supplication (requests) BUT…regarding prayer requests: I believe most of us would admit that we have no idea how to organize the many prayer requests that come our way each week.

We have to decide if we are going to pray for them once. Or weekly. Or daily. Sometimes we forget to pray for a request at all, despite our best intentions. I have to admit that I find it hard sometimes to keep track of all the many requests that come my way. We want to pray for our families, friends, and co-workers; for those we know who are lost; for the situations that come to our ears every day through friends or church or emails.

And then there are our families and many other loved ones. How do we pray for them intentionally and in a way that doesn’t sound like a broken record? How do we remember the many answered prayers that come our way each year? Or do we take the time to intentionally thank God for His work in our lives or for a particular blessing?

I’ve been thinking about all of these things. Prayer has been challenging for me. I have struggled to be organized in how I approach prayer, often just praying for things as they come to mind. But the problem with this is that then there are so many things that are forgotten. Things I should be praying for–that I want to pray for–that simply slip my mind during prayer time.

It is with this in mind that I decided to create a prayer journal for my own use. As I was creating it, I had the thought that perhaps some of you might appreciate it, as well, and so I made it available on Amazon.

This journal will not work miracles. If you don’t make time for prayer it will not be helpful. But it is my hope that, for anyone who truly desires to have a stronger prayer life, this little book might be helpful in making that happen.

The book itself is broken into five different sections and is designed to be used for a year, although you could start at any point during the year to use it. You can click HERE for sample pages.

You can purchase the journal at THIS LINK. Thanks for your support. I surely do hope it is a blessing to some of you!