God’s Way of Holiness

Sometimes old books by godly men and women can take me a while to get through. Yes, sometimes it can be because of the old style of language, but, more often than not, language isn’t the issue. Instead I find such profound and convicting thoughts that I can only reflect on a few pages at a time.

Such is the case with a book called God’s Way of Holiness, written by Horatius Bonar. His life spans much of the 1800s (1808-1889) and he was a Scottish pastor, as well as being both author and hymn writer.

I thought today I would share just a few portions of this book, as I think you will be much edified by them.


And might I share a brief word about the books we choose to read before we go on? I used to really be drawn to shallow, popular books. The ones that everyone is reading or are listed as bestsellers. I also wanted to read easy books—the ones that are both easy to read and pleasant to hear or provide an escape from life. Not that these are always wrong, in and of themselves. But there’s so much more out there.

Somewhere along the way, God used a variety of different circumstances and a few people to challenge my thinking on what I read. I am particularly grateful for one woman, who, many years ago now, encouraged me to go beyond bestsellers and fiction and find real meat to put into my mind.

And so I did. Not that I only read authors like Horatius Bonar, Jeremiah Burroughs, JC Ryle, Thomas Brooks, or Richard Baxter. But I started to read them. Slowly but surely, I just read a page or two at a time and eventually get through the books.

I’ve learned a lot from these men (and so many others). I encourage you to seek out some of these old authors, as well. They give much needed perspective in these self-centered religious days and take us back to God-centered Christianity.

That’s my encouragement to you. Now for the quotes from Bonar’s book on Holiness.


This first section regards what the Bible teaches us about the believer and sin—

Love does not supersede Law, nor release us from obedience to it; it enables us to obey. Love does not make stealing or coveting, or any such breach of Law, no sin in a Christian, which would seem to be the meaning which some attach to this passage [Romans 7]; but it so penetrates and so constrains us, that, not reluctantly or through fear, but right joyfully, we act toward our neighbor in all things, great and small, as the Law bids us do. Yes, Christ “hath redeemed us from the curse of the law,” but certainly not from the Law itself; for that would be to redeem us from a divine rule and guide; it would be to redeem us from that which is “holy and just and good.”

And this—

Yet there are men who speak of Law as abrogated [done away with] to a believer, who look with no favor on those who listen to it but pity them as ill-taught, ill-informed men, who, if in Christ at all, are only Christians of the lowest grade, the least in the kingdom of heaven.

And this is said to be the proper result of a believed Gospel! This is called an essential part of higher Christianity; and is reckoned indispensable to the right appreciation of a saint’s standing before God. The realizing of it is a proof of true spirituality, and the denial of it an evidence of imperfect knowledge and a cramped theology!

We can find no such spirituality, no such Christianity in the Bible. This is license, not liberty; it is freedom to sin, not freedom from sin. It may be spiritual sentimentalism, but it is not spirituality. It is sickly religionism, which, while professing a higher standard than mere law, is departing from that healthy and authentic conformity to the will of God which results from the love and study of His statutes. It is framing a new and human standard, in supplement, if not in contradiction, of the old and the divine.


And, finally, I just want to share these profound thoughts about the Christian and how they present themselves to a dark and dying world—

Greater knowledge, lesser love! Higher doctrines, lower morals! Professing to be seated with Christ in heavenly places, yet walking in the flesh, as if proud of their elevation to the right hand of God! Speaking of the perfection of the new man in them, yet exhibiting some of the worst features of the old! Certainly, one who is “risen with Christ” ought to be like the Risen One. He will be expected to be meek and lowly, gentle and loving, simple and frank, kind and obliging, liberal and generous, not easily provoked or affronted, transparent and honest—not selfish, narrow, covetous, conceited, worldly, unwilling to be taught.

Scripture is wonderfully balanced in all its parts; let our study of it be the same, that we may be well-balanced men. [Emphasis mine] The study of the prophetic word must not supersede that of the Proverbs, nor must we search the latter merely to discover the traces of the “higher doctrines” which may be found in that book. We must not overlook the homely, and the little, and the common; we must stoop to the petty moralities, courtesies and honesties of tamer life, not neglecting those parts of Scripture— treating of these as vapid or obsolete—but bringing them to bear upon each step of our daily walk, and delighting in them as the wisdom of the God only wise.

There is a vitiated (impaired) literary taste, arising not so much from reading what is bad, as from exclusive study of one class of books, and these perhaps the more exciting. There is also a vitiated spiritual taste, not necessarily growing out of error or the study of unsound books, but arising from favouritism in the reading of Scripture, which shows itself both in the preference of certain parts to others, and in the propensity to search these others only for their references to certain favourite truths.

Let the whole soul be fed by the study of the whole Bible, that so there may be no irregularity nor inequality in the growth of its parts and powers. Let us beware of “itching” ears and eyes. True, we must not be “babes,” unable to relish strong meat, and “unskilful in the word of righteousness” (Heb 5:13). But we need to beware of the soarings of an ill-balanced theology and an ill-knit creed. True Christianity is healthy and robust, not soft, nor sickly, nor sentimental; yet, on the other hand, not hard, nor lean, nor ill-favoured, nor ungenial.

“Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit, in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men” (1Co 14:20).

We want not merely a high and full theology, but we want that theology acted out in life, embodied nobly in daily doings, without anything of what the world calls “cant” [hypocrisy] or “simper.”[coy; pretense] The higher the theology, the higher and the manlier should be the life resulting from it. It should give to the Christian character and bearing a divine erectness and simplicity; true dignity of demeanour, without pride, or stiffness, or coldness; true strength of will, without obstinacy, or caprice, or waywardness. The higher the doctrine is, the more ought it to bring us into contact with the mind of God, which is “the truth,” and with the will of God, which is “the law.” He who concludes that because he has reached the region of the “higher doctrines,” he may soar above the Law, or above creeds, or above churches, or above the petty details of common duty, would need to be on his guard against a blunted conscience, a self-made religion, and a wayward life.


I hope this was an encouragement to you today. This is generally not what you will hear on the radio or in podcasts. Many of you will never hear it from your pastor. But this is the historical understanding of Christianity. This is not new or unique to the authors and preachers that pre-date 1970.

I thank the Lord for godly men and women who expounded the scriptures throughout the years. May we broaden our perspectives by looking back into history, rather than limiting ourselves to this little bubble of self-centered Christianity we find ourselves living in and that is the basis for much of the fodder we are fed today.

A Look Back

The other day, while searching for something on Amazon Prime, a movie was suggested on the screen that we had watched years ago. We wouldn’t watch that movie today as God has so kindly been gradually convicting us of the things we set before our eyes since that time. There are many things I “used to watch” that I wouldn’t choose to watch today.

Sometimes I can find myself thinking even today, “oh, it probably wasn’t that bad” and turn something on for nostalgia’s sake. However, I almost always end up turning the movie or show off because I realize now that it simply doesn’t please the Lord. Sometimes it’s hard to turn something off. Mostly, I don’t miss my old entertainment but I need to be honest with you—sometimes it’s hard.

But when we saw that specific movie on the screen, my husband and I started talking about some friends that had encouraged us to watch it along with other things that were simply not beneficial to any believer. We had a period of time where we watched a lot of popular tv and movies and the reason for this was because of these friends, as we had mostly avoided it earlier in our lives.

When we started to drift apart from these friends, we were very, very sad. We had appreciated our friendship with them. However, we got used to life without them in it and moved on.

It wasn’t until we saw the movie pop up on the screen the other evening that we realized that God took something that was sad and hurtful to us, which certainly didn’t seem “good” to us at the time, and He used it to protect us and to move us away from something that was hurting us spiritually. We never really thought of that before.

And I have been thinking of two things to consider from this look back at our lives…

First, it’s a vivid reminder that God really does work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). But it doesn’t always feel good. And it doesn’t always seem good. And we might not know for years and years later of any good that came from it. Perhaps we may never find out. But we need to trust Him. We need to trust that God is good and that He will fulfill His promise: If we love Him, then all things will work for our good.

Second, it’s a convicting reminder to be the kind of friend that encourages and builds up our friends in the Lord, rather than the kind of friend that leads people towards worldliness and sin.

It’s not just about entertainment—although that is a sadly overlooked problem among those who profess Christ. It IS a big deal and it changes us, whether we believe it does or doesn’t.

I can’t even begin to express how much difference it made in my walk with God as I intentionally began to remove worldly entertainment filled with bad language, sexual immorality, violence, and vain humanistic philosophies (the most subtle of all! and found in even the most innocuous entertainment) from my life. Not that I ever watched, listened to, or read really bad stuff. We can always rationalize, can’t we?

Even today, I can still catch myself trying to rationalize. Thankfully, I am now at least aware that I need to really pay attention to what I am allowing in my mind. I really encourage you to do the same.

Entertainment of all kinds—what we watch, listen to, and read—is a big old open door for Satan to implant his philosophies and perspectives in our minds. It’s just so dangerous. NONE of us are so spiritually strong that we can withstand the barrage of wickedness that comes through entertainment. There will be some kind of collateral spiritual harm. There always is, whether we are willing to admit it to ourselves or not.

But, it’s not just entertainment. We can also, if we aren’t careful, lead people in things like gossip, anger, and grudges; in encouraging people in humanistic and psychological philosophies; we can be a stumbling block by drinking alcohol; we women can tempt a man to lust by wearing immodest, revealing clothing.

Another very common way we lead people towards the world is by only discussing the temporal things of this life—the news, work or career, sports, our children and their doings, fashion, celebrities, etc. There is nothing innately wrong with discussing these things but when God and His Word rarely, or never, come up in our conversations or when these things are not discussed in light of God and His Word, it shows something about where our hearts are and it leads people towards the world, rather than towards Christ.

There are a lot of ways we can lead people away from Christ instead of towards Him.

Honest self-examination is the first step to determining if we are helping God’s kingdom or hindering it.

Of course, none of us will help 100% of the time. That’s never the goal because it’s not even possible.

But may our lives, as a rule, lead people towards Christ. Jesus says we are His friends if we do what He commands (John 15:14). May we be shining examples of leading a life of submission and obedience to God and His Word, rather than leading a life of “doing just enough to get by”, while clinging to the world or our sin.


And so there are two things I’ve been reflecting upon as I have been thinking about those cherished friendships that simply…disappeared. I have no idea where those friends are today and how the Lord has led them in the area of entertainment. Perhaps He has led them on a similar journey.

One thing we can be sure of—the Lord will lovingly and faithfully lead anyone who seeks Him. One step at a time, He will conform us into His image and use all things for our good and His glory.

May we be faithfully examining ourselves and seeking to humbly obey Him as we take the path of growing in Christ.

A Better Question for the New Year

Today I am writing about something I’ve never written about before. And, until just recently, I have never given it a lot of thought. But several things over the course of the past few weeks have brought this to light and really made me start thinking about it. On this New Year’s Eve, as we prepare for a new year and a fresh start, I’d like to turn our focus to this specific thing.

Have you, like me, noticed how many broken relationships there are? How many people are outright rejected? Parents rejected by children who have written them off and never talk to them. Friends rejected by friends who simply disappear. Siblings rejected by siblings because of past hurts, current disagreements, or different life philosophies.

Rejection is a common, recurring theme in today’s world.

This is a relatively new thing. How and when did it start? And why have those calling themselves “Christians” jumped on board and joined the movement?

I have to confess that I have, a time or two in years past, said “life is too short” for a friend that has sapped my energy. And sometimes family members can try our patience, can’t they? People can be demanding and unpleasant and downright annoying.

Psychology has labeled these people “toxic” and told us to run from them in order to keep our personal peace.

But I have been thinking a lot about this over the past few days. Is this biblical counsel? Would Jesus tell us to avoid people we have decided are “toxic”?

Let’s take a moment to be reminded of our life’s calling as a believer—

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. (I Corinthians 10:31)

This verse tells us something very important about our new life in Christ: Instead of being “me-centered”, I now desire to be “God-centered”.

And so this naturally should cause our questions to change. Instead of “Is this person messing with my personal peace?” or “Is this person toxic?”, our question should become “What would bring God glory in this situation?”

Instead of basing my decision on how I feel, we want to base our decision on what will most honor God.

I know some of you may be thinking right now—but you don’t know my situation. You don’t know how this or that person brings strife and drama to my life.

That is 100% true. And I’d rather guess that there are situations where the strife caused may merit separation.

But even in those situations, it has to be about honoring God instead of giving ourselves peace.

What will most honor the Lord? Is the question we need to be asking as we navigate difficult relationships.

There are certain beliefs that have crept into Christian culture through humanistic psychology and this is one of them. I have no doubt some of you have even heard you need to flee a toxic relationship from your “Christian counselor”.

Fleeing “toxic people” is nowhere to be found in scripture. Instead, we see the opposite. We see that we are to love others like we love ourselves (note we already love ourselves, we don’t have to learn that!) (Mark 12:31); we see that we are to have speech filled with grace (Colossians 4:6); we are to treat others as we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12); we are to live peaceably with others, as much as it is up to us (Romans 12:18); we are to honor our parents (Ephesians 6:2) There are other verses that direct our relationships with others.

I can’t find even one about rejecting toxic people.

Now, keep in mind: There ARE quite a few verses about being very careful who we hang out with because of the danger they are to our spiritual health. That is a completely different subject and we would do well to heed scripture’s counsel on this.

If someone is dragging us towards sin or the world, we are to quickly flee from them. If someone is sinking us down into the mire of false teaching, we are to mark and avoid them.

But, that is not generally the reason that people reject others, is it? No, it’s for far more selfish reasons.

I don’t know today if you have chosen to reject someone and remove them from your life. I hope that if you have done this, that you will make the subject a matter of prayer and ask the Lord what He would have you do.

And I don’t know if you have been rejected—utterly and outright—by a precious child, or by a dear friend, or by someone you trusted. Rejection is a deep, searing type of pain, isn’t it? And it’s being experienced by so many these days. If we are that person, may we continue steadfast in prayer and keep our hearts from bitterness.

Life IS short. And that is why we must live for eternity.

So as we head into the new year, may we change our question from “what will bring me personal peace?” to:

What will most honor God?

A Home for Christmas (Part 5)

Today I present the final installment for this year’s Christmas story. Each year, I find myself wondering if I should continue this tradition here on the blog and each year, at the end of December, I am so glad I did. I so enjoy creating these little stories that remind us of God’s faithfulness and working in our lives. If you enjoyed reading this year’s story, could you let me know? And if you have any ideas for future stories, I’d welcome them. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and enjoy a wonderful holiday week ahead!


     Christmas morning dawned bright and sunny. During the night a fresh coating of snow had fallen and June, looking out the window as breakfast was being prepared, noticed that the sunshine made the snow glisten like diamonds. As she sat there staring at the world outside, she thought about the past few weeks and how fun they had been. Whenever she thought about the little cabin in the woods, she shuddered to think about returning there. When would they have to go back? Her little mind didn’t rest there for long as her eyes moved back inside when Joey coughed and she spotted all of those wonderful, colorful presents under the tree.
     Joey, sitting on the sofa, was not as affected by the gifts. Oh, he did find himself a bit excited to open gifts. They didn’t usually get any at Christmastime. But even the special treat of actually opening gifts on Christmas didn’t remove the awful burden of how he and his sister were going to survive when they moved back to the cabin.
     Both children were completely unaware, as children usually are, that Martin and Linda had vowed to care for them—whether it was official or unofficial. At least until their mother showed back up. The children were no longer alone. They just didn’t know it yet, because they wanted to tell them on this morning. Christmas morning. And, oh, how they wanted it to be official when they told them. But it didn’t look like that was going to happen.
     Martin had searched the surrounding villages high and low for the children’s mother, to no avail. All inquiries were dead ends, leading to nowhere. They had not given up but they had nothing to announce today.
     Martin had run down to the store to check something before breakfast and when his steps sounded on the staircase, Linda wiped her hands on her apron and came to the door of the living room to announce breakfast. The four gathered around the kitchen table and said grace before diving into a special breakfast of scrambled eggs, thick slices of bacon, golden pancakes, and Linda’s special baked cinnamon apples.
     Linda noticed a certain twinkle in Martin’s eye after he came back upstairs and gave him a questioning glance. He just ignored her as he heartily ate his breakfast and talked with the children.
     After breakfast, they went into the living room to open gifts. The next hour was spent oohing and aahing over all the wonderful treats and special items that had been chosen for the children. Fragrant oranges and sweet peppermints were in the stocking that they shared— a stocking that had been carefully packed away for five years and had the initial “R” on it.
     They opened gifts that contained new coats, hats, and mittens. Joey found a pocket knife in a small brightly wrapped package and June received a beautiful doll. The children, thrilled at their gifts— and even more thrilled that someone would care enough to actually give them something—were filled with gratitude. June exuberantly hugged both Martin and Linda and even Joey, who tended to be more reserved, hugged them both. That was a first.
     If only…thought Linda, but then she stopped herself. The children were here for now. That must be enough. She didn’t have to know what tomorrow held to enjoy today.
     June got up from the floor and retrieved a card from her room. The brightly colored Christmas card had been created from the paper and crayons that Linda had brought up from the store. She shyly handed the card to Linda and turned to Martin to say seriously, “this is for both of you.”
     Linda looked down at the card to find a picture of their little makeshift family beside a colorful Christmas tree. She couldn’t help but wonder what the future held as she beheld the precious gift in her hands.
     “Oh, thank you, June. This is such a lovely drawing,” she said.
     Martin cleared his throat and spoke up, “I wonder if I might give one last Christmas present?”
     “Now what do you have up your sleeve, my dear?” Linda laughed. She knew there was something special since he had returned from downstairs. She had no idea what it was, though. Perhaps he had ordered a special sled for the children, she thought as she remembered the snow that covered the ground.
     Martin continued, “this morning, I received an unexpected telegram. It would seem that a gentlemen I talked to a few weeks ago personally took it upon himself to locate your mother. He found her in a different state, where she now lives and works. He states here in this telegram,” he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and opened it to read, “that ‘Mrs. Martha Grayson gives her blessing for her children to stay with Martin and Linda Bell permanently’, ” he lifted his bright eyes and said happily, “Would you like that?”
     “Are you serious?” Linda asked in disbelief.
     Meanwhile, the children sat in stunned amazement.
     “There are some things we will need to do to make it official. But, according to the telegram that I received this morning, we should not have any problems,” Martin turned to the children, “So, you two, would you like to become part of our family? Linda and I have grown to love you both dearly and would love for you to stay here forever.”
     June was the first to jump up and throw her arms around Martin’s neck, “Oh, yes! Oh, yes! OH, YES!” she cried over and over.
     Joey was a little less ecstatic than June outwardly but he was certainly no less ecstatic on the inside. He sat in wonder at what had just happened. The burden of caring for his sister rolled off his small shoulders at Martin’s words and the thought of being part of a family with a loving father and kindhearted mother almost made his little heart burst with joy.
          That Christmas morning, love came to the children in the form of family and the joy of this would last through the coming years. It really was a happy ending in a world where there are so few happy endings. Unbeknownst to all who sat around the Christmas tree talking happily that morning, God had answered a godly grandmother’s prayer to care for her grandchildren. Just as the old woman had known He would.

 

A Home for Christmas (Part 4)

Christmas is just around the corner now. I hope you enjoy part four of this year’s story. You can find the rest of this story, as well as all the past Christmas stories, at this link.

     June was gently nursed by Linda for several days. Soon she was able to sit up and eat something. Joey had come down with the virus as well, although he was up and around again in just a day or two.
     When they both were completely well again, Joey began to grow uncomfortable staying with the Bells. He didn’t want to take advantage of their hospitality.
     One evening, after they had eaten dinner, he carefully broached the subject as June sat on the sofa looking through a picture book that Martin had brought up from the store.
     He heaved a big sigh, as if to gain courage, and then said, “perhaps it’s time June and I head back to the cabin. We are both well now and we don’t want to…well, as nice as it’s been here…we just don’t want to…” he stopped.
     Linda’s heart sank as Joey spoke these words. Unbeknownst to them, the children had brought much joy to the Bell house. Martin and Linda had lost a little boy five years before and they had forgotten how much they loved having children around them.
     Martin looked kindly upon the young man and spoke, “Joey, I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now. And I wondered if you and June would like to stay with us through the holidays? We have so enjoyed having you both here and we’d love for you to stay for a while longer. Would you be willing to hang around with us old folks for a couple of more weeks? Or are you anxious to get back home?”
     Joey stared at him in disbelief, “you are serious, sir?”
     “I’ve never been more serious,” said Martin.
     Joey and June did not have a good mother. Rather than teach them good manners and to care for others, she, through example, had taught them nothing except selfishness. Thankfully, the children did have a God-fearing, praying grandmother. And, while June was only small when she had gone on to heaven, Joey had learned much from her and was teaching it to his little sister. The children could have—should have— been a real burden to the Bells but, instead, thanks to a godly old lady who loved her grandchildren dearly and lived her life each day to please the Lord, they were a true blessing to the childless couple.
     Linda spoke up, “A few years ago, we had a son. His name was Robert. He was such a little man. You remind me a bit of him, Joey,” she looked kindly at the boy and then continued, “when he was nine, he suddenly grew very sick one day. It was right around this time of year, actually,” her eyes grew moist as she remembered, “Well, he grew sicker and sicker until the doctor told us to prepare for the inevitable. And within just a few weeks, we lost our precious Robert,” she paused and turned to the children, “And, so you see, we have so enjoyed having you children here. We forgot how much we missed having children around. Especially such wonderful children as you are. We would be so honored to have you stay with us for the next few weeks, at least through the holidays.”
     June had begun listening to the conversation and at this point she childishly piped up with vehemence, “Oh, Joey, we can stay, can’t we? I don’t want to go back to that cold cabin where we don’t have anything to eat!
     Joey looked around at the three who were watching him and waiting for an answer. And then he smiled and said to his sister in his quiet way, “well, it would seem foolish to go back to that when we are being offered this, now wouldn’t it?”
     There was an air of celebration that evening in the Bell household. Over the course of the next weeks, the four of them prepared for Christmas together. They cut down a tree from the woods and made handmade ornaments for it. They baked brown gingerbread men and decorated them with icing. And they went Christmas caroling with the church folk. It was wonderful.
     The children were filled with delight at this unexpected turn of events. Instead of spending Christmas in a cold, lifeless cabin all alone, they were in a cozy warm home with two adults who genuinely cared about them. It was all so much to take in.
     Christmas was now only five days away. Joey lay in his bed that night wondering what would happen to them after Christmas. While he had thoroughly enjoyed the last few weeks, this was the one thing that was casting a constant damper on his happiness. What was going to happen to them after Christmas?
     As he tossed and turned that night, he came up with several ideas. Perhaps Mr. Bell would give him some work around his store? Or he could go to Pastor Murphy, who had proven to be a very kind older man. He might help him. Joey knew he had to do something to look out for his little sister. No twelve-year-old should have to bear the burden of survival for himself and his sister, but, unfortunately, sometimes they do. Joey was not taking this responsibility lightly and he had lost quite a bit of sleep over it.
     Meanwhile, in a different bedroom on that very same night, Martin and Linda were whispering together. They couldn’t imagine life without the two precious children they had both grown to love. They wondered if there would be a way to keep them permanently. Yes, Joey was stubborn and June could be quite messy but over the course of the past few weeks, they had realized anew the wonderful blessing of family.
     As they discussed the possibility of keeping the children and how to go about it, Linda suddenly smiled and said, “do you think there is any possibility we could know before Christmas? Wouldn’t that be the greatest Christmas present we could give the children?” Her eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together at the thought of it.
     Martin was more realistic than his wife, “Well that is a very tall order. I’m not sure we can manage to know before Christmas morning as it hinges on being able to find the children’s mother.”
     Linda’s face filled with disappointment as she acknowledged that he was right.
     “But,” Martin added with a twinkle in his eye, “I am sure willing to give it a try.”

  

A Home for Christmas (Part 3)

(If you’d like to read the rest of this Christmas story, you will find it here)

     Martin had opened up the store and restocked a few shelves and then he turned to Linda, “I think I’ll go check on the kids now,” he said, putting on his heavy coat and thick fur-lined boots.
     “Great,” said Linda as she looked worriedly out the window. It had snowed a few inches yesterday and, while the snow had stopped during the night, it was so cold and windy. She would feel very relieved when Martin had checked to make sure they were okay.
     Martin put Linda’s brown and tan hand-knitted scarf around his neck and put on his gloves and then said “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” and walked out the door.
     Linda sighed as she watched him trudge through the snow up the street. Thankfully, it didn’t sound like the children lived too far away but she really hated that he had to go out in this weather. She hoped the bright winter sun would warm him up as he walked.
     Meanwhile, Martin walked through the snow singing his favorite hymn. “A Mighty Fortress is our God” rang out in the winter sunshine as he walked as quickly as he could through the fresh snow. Soon he was standing before the door of the rundown cabin. He lifted his hand to knock.
     After a moment, Joey opened the door. He looked fearful and Martin realized he didn’t recognize him.
     “Hi, son. I am Mrs. Bell’s husband. You can call me Mr. Martin,” he smiled warmly and reached his hand out to the boy.
     Joey’s face filled with relief. In fact, the relief seemed so great, Martin began to wonder if something else was going on.
     “Is everything okay here? We wanted to make sure you both have what you need.”
     Joey’s shoulders slumped under the heavy load he had been carrying on his young shoulders.
      “Actually, sir, it’s not okay. My sister woke up all hot this morning. First, she’s hot and then she’s cold. I can’t get her to eat or drink anything. I just don’t know what to do,” he wrung his hands in despair and his eyes were filled with fright.
     Martin was wonderfully calm in any situation. He asked if he could check on June and Joey moved aside to let him in.
     He glanced around the cold, drafty cabin as he entered. This was no place for children to be by themselves. He shook his head in frustration at the mother who would leave her children all by themselves in a place like this and without provisions.
     When he saw June lying there, he grew alarmed. He reached his arm out to feel her hot forehead. His expression was sober as he said kindly to Joey, “I wonder if you and your sister might be willing to spend a few days with Mrs. Bell and me? That way we could keep an eye on her and help her feel better.”
     Joey’s heart started beating faster as he considered going to the home of strangers. He was going to say “no, thank you,” but just as he was forming the words, his sister groaned on the sofa. He knew she needed help that he couldn’t give.
     “Okay,” he said softly.
     He quickly gathered a few things and tucked them in an old bag. Martin wrapped the small girl in the warmest blanket he could find and, picking her up gently in his arms, they were soon on their way out the door. Suddenly he stopped and looked at Joey’s feet.
     “Son, do you have some boots?”
     “I don’t,” he said simply.
     “Well, then, we will have to be sure to warm up those feet when we get to my house,” Martin gave him a friendly grin and together they started the walk to town.          


     Linda heard the bell and looked up from the counter, where she stood going over some accounts. When she saw Martin carrying the little girl, her heart sank. Something was wrong.
     She rushed over to him and he said quietly, “Can you hold her for a moment while I take my boots off? And then we will take her upstairs,” and then turning to Joey, who stood shivering, “why don’t we take our shoes off here at the door and then we will go upstairs and warm up,” he smiled.
     “Martin, we need the doctor.”
     “Yes, I plan to go get him as soon as I get the children settled. I’ll stop at Martha’s on my way to see if she can watch the store for a few hours as we sort things out here.” Martha was a lady who had helped Mr. Lambert out before he sold the store and had continued to help them when they needed it.
     Martin and Linda took the children upstairs and made them comfortable. June was laid gently on the sofa, while Joey was given a comfortable arm chair with a hot water bottle for his feet. Linda went to the spare bedroom and was soon back with an armful of cozy quilts. She tucked two around June and gave another one to Joey.
     Soon Martin was out the door and Linda sank down next to June on the sofa. She laid the girl’s head in her lap and turned to Joey, “when did her fever come on?”
     Joey sighed, “this morning. She seemed fine yesterday,” and then he stopped as he remembered something, “although now that I think about it, she didn’t want any supper.”
     “Hmmm… well, I’d guess she just came down with some type of flu. It’s going around, you know,” noticing the growing fear in Joey’s eyes, she quickly added, “most people recover quite nicely from the flu.”
     “My grandma died from the flu,” the boy said quietly.
     A tear ran down the left side of his face as he finally sat in a safe and warm place with adults to care for him. He had not felt this safe or warm or cared about since his grandma had passed on.
     Linda seemed to sense this and, looking tenderly at the young man, said, “don’t worry, Joey, we will do everything we can to help June. And you.”
     As Linda gently rubbed June’s head, her restlessness decreased and her breathing evened out. Soon she was sleeping peacefully.
     As the three sat there in silence, Linda prayed for the children. She asked the Lord to show Martin and her how to best help them. Love was quickly growing in her heart for these two precious souls.

Grace Lived Out

I can remember, a few years back, when I friended someone on Facebook who had some interesting things to say regarding this world. I didn’t know this guy but he was recommended by a friend. He flat-out rejected my friend request based on the fact that I celebrated Christmas, according to my Facebook page. He thought that celebrating Christmas is wrong and wanted no parts with anyone who gave any attention to this day. I’ve run into that many times in the opposite direction. Being in a public kind of position with a blog and Facebook page, many people have rejected me because they don’t like something I write. I know that I have done this, as well. Particularly when I was young, so very passionate about my opinions, and severely lacking in grace. It is tempting to write people off if they don’t agree with us. But, oh, how ungodly and…well, wrong. I am not sure what made me think of this today, but it seems like something to think about as we move into the holiday season with all of the gatherings.

Our culture is such a paradox. On one hand, we say we should never judge people. Just love, love, love. But, on the other hand, as soon as an opinion is expressed that someone doesn’t agree with, judgement comes immediately through cold silence or even breaking off friendship. So which is it?

I guess we don’t really care which the world chooses. The world will choose what it will. Our concern is scripture. How do we respond to those we don’t agree with, according to scripture?

Grace Lived Out. What does it look like?

There are so many verses we could turn to, but let’s just turn to a few verses from Colossians, chapter 3–

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15)

So, in light of these verses, how do we respond to someone who we don’t agree with? Let’s break it down.

First, Paul instructs us, through the Holy Spirit, that we are to be filled with mercy for one another, we are to be kind, humble, meek (endure with patience and without resentment), and longsuffering. Now let’s think of these things in light of how we tend to treat someone we don’t agree with.

In fact, many of us often do the opposite. The words impatience, unkind, pride, and short-tempered come to mind (even if we never speak a word!)

People say things in the heat of the moment. We are all tempted to frustration and anger when we feel passionately about something and someone disagrees with us. But if we desire to obey scripture, then we need to intentionally turn from our fleshly desires and, instead, bring kindness and humility to these disagreements. Even in our thoughts. Many of us will choose not to say much but we will not have very kind or humble thoughts about the person. Sin starts in our mind.

Another thing we can learn from these verses is that we are to forgive. This means we don’t reject someone or unfriend them or give them a cold shoulder because they said something we don’t like. If someone has a quarrel with us, we forgive them, plain and simple. We don’t make the quarrel worse. Instead, as Romans 12:18, instructs we, “as much as it is up to us, leave peaceably with all men.” We do what we can to keep things peaceful.

We are also instructed in these verses to put on charity (another word for love). A genuine love for others will smooth many things over. Loving others as we love ourselves (we all love ourselves quite naturally) will change everything. Christ has shown us so much love and grace and this alone should give us motivation to do the same for those around us.

And, finally, we are to allow God’s peace to rule in our hearts. When we lack grace for someone, God’s peace is not ruling. When we are mad at someone for a stance they have taken, God’s peace is not ruling. When we reject someone because we don’t agree with them, God’s peace is not ruling.

The entire passage ends with “and be thankful”. A grateful heart alters how we look at most things. When we are grateful, envy melts away; we can focus on what is good about someone, instead of what frustrates us; we approach life with a different perspective.

Now, what about arguments or debates about doctrine? About things that are clearly taught in scripture? We cannot deny that God tells us to mark and avoid certain people. We are told not to let them even enter our doors. What about when it is something that is heretical?

Well, these are big deals. We are to be very careful about false teaching. And, so in these cases, much prayer is needed. But scripture makes it clear that the answer is never in quarreling and debating. These two things are born out of pride and never from a humble heart of love. Discussion is not wrong if conducted with the right heart attitude. But when we are tempted to debate or argue over a clear truth of scripture, let’s instead pray. Pray for the person’s blind eyes to be opened. Pray for humility and kindness. Pray that God would give opportunity to have an open and honest discussion with them, rather than a heated debate that does no one any good at all and taints the name of Jesus.

God has shown us incredible love and amazing grace. In that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). That deserves an exclamation point. Christ died for us! We need Christ to save us because we are sinners (I Corinthians 15:3-4). We are all sinners (Romans 3:10). Do we think we are better than someone else because they don’t agree with us?

Oh, that we may all bring mercy, kindness, forgiveness, and love to our family gatherings. To our Christmas parties with co-workers and friends. To our get-togethers with church family. May we live grace out.

A Home for Christmas (Part 2)

It is Friday and time for Part 2 of this year’s story. If you’d like to read part 1, you will find the link here (along with links for all of the Christmas stories).


      As Joey and June walked to town, it began to snow. Although they both gazed at the big wet flakes with delight, they shivered in their threadbare coats and began to walk faster. Joey looked up at the overcast sky, “I wonder how much it’s fixing to snow? We’d better get to the store and right back home again,” he said to his sister.
      June remained quiet at his side, her short legs trying to keep up with her brother’s quickening pace. Soon they were at Lambert’s General Store. A little bell jingled over their heads as they opened the door to notify Mr. Lambert of entering customers.
      But it wasn’t reticent Mr. Lambert who greeted them. Instead, they saw a woman they had never seen before. She was pleasantly round with graying chestnut-colored hair held in a loose bun. Her warm brown eyes lit up as she offered a friendly smile to the children as they walked through the door.
     “Good morning, children! Welcome to our store,” and she proceeded to tell them a detailed story about how she and her husband had recently purchased the store from Mr. Lambert who had gone to live with his daughter in a different state. She finished her story with, “my name is Mrs. Bell. What are your names?”
      Joey was about to answer, when June piped up, “I’m June and this is my big brother, Joey.”
      “Well, so nice to meet you, June and Joey,” she said, smiling, “and what can I get for you today?”
      “We need some food,” June stated matter-of-factly. And then she continued before her brother could stop her, “our mom left us a few weeks back and we haven’t seen her since. And now we are out of food. But we found some money in the cabin so we came here to buy food. Joey says we will have to be very careful so that the food lasts for a long time because …” At this point Joey gave his sister a small kick and, looking at him with surprise, she stopped talking abruptly.
      At June’s confession, Linda Bell’s face grew more and more concerned, “your mom hasn’t been back? And it’s been how long?”
      Joey finally spoke up and told an outright lie, “we are just fine, ma’am. She will come back soon. Maybe even tomorrow. She went looking for work and didn’t need two kids tagging along. We just need a little food to get by.”
      “Hmmmm,” Linda looked doubtful, “your dad? Where is he?”
     “He left right after I was born. I haven’t even met him,” said June. Joey’s face grew red and his discomfort grew as his sister so readily gave this stranger such personal information.
     Linda’s face looked thoughtful, “well, would you mind telling me where you live? Sometimes we get clothing donations at the church and I could keep my eye out for your sizes. We are always looking for good places for that clothing to go to. And it would just be for now, you know. ‘Til your mama returns,” Linda had a way of making it feel like they were helping her instead of the other way around.
      She quickly scribbled down the information on a piece of scrap paper as the children turned to look around the store. She helped them gather some food items that would last a while. As she placed their selections in a bag, she tucked in a few extra items and told them that the cost “was just exactly what they had”.
     As the children walked out the door, arms full, Linda was already deliberating on ways she could help them. She also wanted to confirm that the children’s mother did return. And she just might give her a piece of her mind, if she did! Why, the nerve of a woman leaving her children all alone in the winter without ample food or money. Some people, she thought with disgust. God was already answering the simple but heartfelt prayer of the children for help through the kind-hearted store owner.
     As the bell rang upon the children’s departure from the store Linda’s husband, Martin, returned from the storage room, “Who was that?”
     Linda gave a troubled sigh as she shared as much as she knew. Their conversation was cut short as the door jangled again and another customer entered.


     A few hours later the two of them sat in the spacious, homey rooms above the store talking and enjoying hot tea and biscuits covered with jam.
     “I just cannot get those children out of my mind,” said Linda.
     “Well, there’s not a whole lot we can do,” said her practical but kind-hearted husband, “we don’t really know their situation and we don’t want to put our noses where they don’t belong,” he continued, winking at her. His wife did have a tendency to do that and it had gotten them into trouble a time or two.
     “Oh, I know,” she said softly. But when she went to bed that night, her thoughts were on the children who had no mother to care for them and little food. She listened to the howling wind outside and wondered if they were staying warm.
     The following morning, the children continued to be on her mind and she couldn’t stop talking about them to Martin as the two ate breakfast.
     Martin just sat and listened, but as they finished eating, he stood up and looked fondly at his wife, “let’s open the store and then later on this morning, I’ll go check on them.”
     Linda face broke out into a huge smile of gratitude, “you’d do that?”
     “Of course I would. I want to make sure those kids are okay and I want to keep you happy,” he said with a teasing grin.
     “Oh, you…” she laughed and then her face grew serious, “but thank you.”

A Home for Christmas (Part 1)

Nine years ago, I had the idea of writing a Christmas story for my readers and I’ve continued this tradition ever since. Part one is posted the Friday after Thanksgiving each year and, while I can hardly believe it’s that time of year already, here we are. Writing a story each holiday season gives me the opportunity to write a bit of fiction (which I love to do) while giving you all a bit of a break from all of the busyness of the season (and from all the craziness in this world) for just a few moments as you take time to read the story for a few minutes each week.

This particular year, I had a very difficult time coming up with an idea for some reason. I had been mulling it over and over and actually almost just decided not to write one this year. But, just in the nick of time, my mom gave me an idea from a short account she had read. So this year’s story is based on actual events, which is a wonderful thing to contemplate. Like last year, there are only four Fridays between Christmas and New Year, so the final part (part five) will be posted the day after Christmas. I hope you enjoy it. Here is Part 1 of “A Home for Christmas”–

     Joey and June shivered as they sat close together on the well-worn sofa bundled up in their warmest sweaters with coats over top. The sofa’s stitching was ripping apart in several places and there was a large burn mark on the left cushion where, at some point, a spark had flown out of the stove when the door was opened. The stove, of pot belly variety, sat in the corner nearest the sofa and warmed up the cabin quite nicely when it was filled with wood. However, this particular morning it sat empty in the little cabin because the wood had run out the day before.
     12-year-old Joey gave a troubled sigh. No wood. And they were almost out of food. The children’s mother had left to go look for work a few weeks before and had never returned. But, if the truth were known, neither of the children were all that surprised.
     Joey tried to think back to the day Mom had left. He remembered that she had given him an unusual side hug and told him that he and his sister would be just fine. He had thought that strange at the time. Just fine? What did that mean?
     He knew that she was struggling to make ends meet and he also realized, even at his young age, that she was turning to things—bad things— to escape her troubles. He had seen the broken bottles behind the house and had noticed how she slept away many of the days.
     He also realized, deep down inside and even though he could never have described it in words, that his mother always thought of herself, first and foremost. She had taken care of the two of them, but always and only if it meant taking care of herself, too. Joey and June had never known a mother’s love because their mother had no love to give.
     And so one day, when the burden of caring for the children just felt too heavy to bear, she simply got out of her bed, packed a few items in a bag, and walked away.
     Joey knew that his mother was not coming back and his mind tried to process this. The questions that arose overwhelmed him and the burden felt doubly heavy because he felt responsible for June. He was all she had. He had to take care of her. He just had to. His anguished soul was in despair. What were they going to do?
     This is what he was thinking as he sat by that cold little stove on a Tuesday morning in February. He gave a deep sigh and finally said, “I think I will go look for some firewood.”
     The cabin sat in a small woods on the outside of town. He was hoping he could find something to burn in the stove to at least warm up the cabin for a bit. Maybe if he wasn’t so cold he would be able to think more clearly.
     “Do you think we should eat first? What do we have to eat?” asked 8-year-old June as her belly rumbled loudly.
     “Okay, let me look what we have left. I’m sure there is something around here,” he said with a confidence he didn’t really feel. He didn’t want her to be worried but he knew there was only one can of beans left in the cabinet. That was it.
     He took the can down from the shelf and heated its unappealing contents in a saucepan on the stove. Soon they were seated at a small wooden table, where Joey asked the Lord to bless the food. Mama had not taught them to pray. That was Granny Barnes. The little family had lived with Granny Barnes until four years ago. She had passed away and left her daughter and her two grandchildren all alone in the world. Things had gone downhill for the little family from there. After asking the Lord to bless the food, he pleaded with God to help them. He didn’t know where help would come from, but Granny had taught him that God was a help in times of trouble. And they were definitely in trouble.
     The two little figures made a sorry sight as they hunched over the table in their coats, spooning the tasteless food into their mouths.
     As Joey sat eating, a thought came to him. Would Mom have hidden any money that she might have forgotten to take with her? She had had a habit of tucking small bills away for “emergencies”. Perhaps, there would be some hidden away that they could use to purchase some food. They would have to ration it very carefully but it just might keep them from starving. He decided it was time to do an all-out search of the cabin. But first, the wood. He stood up from the table, still hungry despite the empty plate in front of him.
     “I want to go with you,” said June as Joey moved towards the door. Fear of being left all alone forever filled June’s mind and she jumped up to follow him.
     “Well, I guess that’s okay. You can help me carry the wood,” said Joey.
     Soon they were walking through the woods, picking up thick branches they could find that weren’t too unwieldy, along with any other smaller pieces of wood they could carry. Several trips were made back and forth to the cabin porch, where soon they had a nice pile of brush and wood that would help keep them warm for a while in the wintry temperatures.
     Now to search for a few dollar bills that would buy them some food. The children entered the cabin and began to look around.
     June suddenly remembered that Mommy had kept an old tin can tucked under the floorboard in the cabin’s single bedroom. Did Mommy take it with her?
     Joey pulled the floorboard up, where they found the old tin cylinder. Filled with hope, Joey pulled off the lid. But all that was in there was a handful of coins. That wouldn’t even buy one can of food. Feeling disappointed and hopeless, they continued their search.
     Joey found a couple dollars in a cup near the stove and June found a dollar bill in one of Mom’s old shirts. But, other than that, their search came up empty.
     The children stood looking around the cabin carefully. Suddenly, June cried, “Did you look in that little box?” She pointed towards a small wooden box that sat all alone on the shelf near the stove.
     Joey hadn’t noticed it before and excitedly pulled over a chair to climb up and retrieve the box. As they lifted the lid, they were thrilled to find a ten dollar bill. Filled with relief, Joey smiled. He didn’t know what the future held but this would do for now.
     Joey pocketed the thirteen dollars they had found and, together, they began the half mile walk to town.

   

Memories and Opinions

The other day I was walking through an unfamiliar grocery store, browsing though the many aisles where there is a selection I cannot find at the stores near home.

I soon found myself in the Christmas candy aisle, gazing at all the many treats to be found there, when my eyes landed on a tin covered with a photo of brightly colored candies.

In an instant, my mind went back to Christmases of yesteryear, where this candy always had a place. Ribbon candy, the hard candy with the flower in the center, the straws and squares filled with chocolate or mint…

I could almost taste it.

I don’t normally buy candy (I am not its biggest fan) but that drew me in—despite it’s rather expensive price—and I picked up the box and put it in my cart.

When I got home, I opened that box and picked out a piece. I savored it and enjoyed it and…haven’t touched the box since. It was good but not as good as I remember and I am still not much of a candy fan. I will enjoy it throughout the season, I am sure. If I don’t, my husband will, as he is a big fan of candy.

Memories are funny things, aren’t they? They can trick us into forming opinions. Sometimes those opinions are accurate and sometimes they just aren’t.

I was thinking about this as I realized over the past few weeks that I have formed opinions about a few people based on one thing they may have said in the past or one thing that happened.

Is this even fair?

Is my memory even correct about what was said or what I “remember” happening? Or did it become exaggerated? Was it “mis-remembered”?

As I was reflecting on this, my heart sank, realizing that people were probably still judging me on one of the many stupid things I have said in the past. One of the biggest crosses to bear if you are a “talker” is this. Many times we aren’t even aware that we offended or hurt someone and it was never our intention to do so.

I don’t think I talk without thinking like I used to, although I am sure it still happens sometimes. I have started praying as soon as I leave a conversation that has made me worry about offending someone. O, Lord, please let them know my heart. Please let them know I didn’t mean to offend them. O, please help them to forgive me if I said something with the wrong tone or in a sinful way.

I don’t know if He has answered that prayer. And I cannot control how someone else responds. I can only continue to work on making sure anything that leaves my mouth is said with love and humility. It will be a lifelong struggle for someone like me. But it is truly my desire to please the Lord in all I say.

But as I was thinking about my struggle in this area and the grace I long to receive from others, I realized I was not extending the same grace.

And so now I am going to choose to extend grace. I am going to stop judging someone based on a past offhand comment that my imperfect memory has contrived to give motive or purpose to.

Life is short. Relationships are hard enough without imperfect memories crowding our minds and adding dark shadows to our relationships.

That candy was good but it wasn’t as good as I remembered. The joy of that candy was in the memory of it.

It was a good reminder that my memory is not perfect. Sometimes it remembers things in an exaggerated good way and sometimes it remembers things in an exaggerated bad way. And many times it doesn’t remember anything at all! Isn’t it amazing how much we don’t remember from the past? But that’s another subject altogether, isn’t it?

I am sharing this today in hopes that it may encourage us all to extend grace to others and to not rely on our memories that really cannot be relied upon.

And if someone did say something hurtful or awkward or stupid, then let’s make the choice today to forgive them and wipe the slate clean.

Because life is just too short to base our relationships on the past.

**PLEASE NOTE: This post is NOT referring to serious things that have happened in the past. I am not referring to abuse or to habitual actions and words that have caused much pain. I am referring here only to the off-hand comments or actions that are said or done (often unintentionally) and which we tend to exaggerate in our minds.

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