Growing 4 Life

Who do we think we are fooling?

1 Comment / July 7, 2011 July 7, 2011

I searched through drawers. I searched through my winter bin of clothing. In the closet. Under the bed. In the bathroom. WHERE was my swimming suit? The thing never turned up. Somehow–I will probably never know what happened to it–I had lost the bottom to my bathing suit. Uuggh. I knew what that meant. I would have to purchase a new bathing suit. I HATE bathing suit shopping. Because somewhere in the last 20 years I went from thin to…not thin.

As I searched for the perfect bathing suit, I saw all kinds of words attached to suit tags or descriptions: “tummy control panel” “slimming” “shirring”. Now I ask you– have you ever seen anyone magically transformed by a tummy panel or strategically placed “shirring”? The answer is no. A thousand times no. If I am overweight it doesn’t matter what bathing suit I choose, I will look overweight. Sure, some suits will appear more stylish and slimming, but there is no swimsuit out there that can truly hide what I really look like.

And that got me thinking–we do the same thing with our spiritual lives. We put on church attendance, or sponsoring a third world child, or maybe even “personal devotions” like they are a swimsuit. We hope that these acts will hide our habitual sins. But if we aren’t living our lives to please the Lord, it is obvious to everyone. If we are spending more time at the bar than church…if our conversations are full of criticism and unkind words about others…if we allow things in our homes that would make our grandmother blush with shame…if our bathing suit leaves little to the imagination…if the first thing out of our mouth when we are frustrated is a cuss word…if we are quick to anger…these things are indicative that something is wrong with us spiritually.

We can’t hide it by going to church. Or offering “deep, spiritual” answers to questions in Sunday School. Or by attending a Bible Study at which we appear to be so attentive. We can’t hide it by being part of the worship team or by volunteering at Bible School.

Our true, spiritual selves cannot be hidden…just like our fat cannot be hidden. Sure most people will ignore the fat…and the sin…they see. Or they will broach the subject ever so lightly by a sarcastic remark or a quiet, under-the-breath comment. But everyone sees it. If we are trying to walk the fence between God and the world, we aren’t fooling anyone…except maybe ourselves!

In fact, we are often fooling ourselves, aren’t we? We want to do what we want to do and do not plan on letting anyone, much less God, stop us. And we start thinking that we are spiritually healthy, when we are not. Let’s open our eyes when we read God’s Word, asking the Lord to convict us of the sin in our lives. Let’s ask of every choice we make: which choice will most glorify the Lord? And if we have a friend or parent or mentor who is honest enough to tell us the truth…we need to thank them…and then turn from our sin and keep growing. Because otherwise we are parading along on the beach, thinking we have covered our flaws so spectacularly…when really we haven’t fooled anyone.

James 1:22-25

America the Beautiful

Leave a Comment / July 4, 2011 May 22, 2015

I hope that everyone will take just a few minutes this weekend to contemplate just how amazing the United States of America truly is! No other nation like ours has ever existed. Sure, we have a ton of problems. Sure, we are overloaded with debt. Sure, we have government leaders whose reputations are shrouded with immorality.

But we also have glorious freedom. Freedom to purchase land. Freedom to own a business. Freedom to raise our families. Freedom to go where we want.

We have our basic needs met. The need for shelter. The need for food. The need for clothing.

We not only have our needs met, but so many of our wants, as well. Most of us have multiple televisions, iPads, cell phones, and video game consoles. We own hundreds of books, DVDs, and more music than we will ever listen to. We have cars. We have enough money to go to a nice restaurant or to take the family for ice cream. We go the beach and fly in planes across the country. We can afford to educate ourselves.

Do you realize how many people outside of this country do not have these privileges? Do you realize that many of the world’s population only lives to survive? There is no entertainment. There are no cars. There is no shampoo, soap, or towels. There is hardly any food. No hope for a better life.

We still have the right to stand on a street corner and preach our faith. We can still worship in our churches. We are able to home school our children.

With all that is going on, we tend to focus on the negative. It’s an easy thing to do, as the winds of change seem to be scented with hard times and persecution.

But for today why don’t we celebrate the wonderful? The positive? The amazing privilege of being born in this free and prosperous land? A land in which many people from all parts of the world only dream of living.

Let’s remember that –right here and right now–we are blessed.

Giving Second Chances

Leave a Comment / June 30, 2011 April 5, 2014

Leslie and Kelly — Kelly and I in our freshman year, when we both still had a lot of growing up to do! So glad we were able to give each other a second chance and go on to enjoy a lifetime friendship!

We always hear about taking second chances–but how about giving them? We all know that first impressions are often behind firm opinions we make about others.

But what if your first impression is wrong? What if what you heard them say wasn’t really what they said? What if–in a moment of fear or anger–they said something they didn’t mean? What if that air of arrogance and pride is a wall of protection that has been built by a deeply hurt heart?

But judging on first impressions means two things. First, we make a snap judgement that is often inaccurate and unless that person comes back into our world in a very profound way, we will keep that opinion forever. Second, we lose all opportunity to minister or develop a friendship because we figure they are “too far gone” or “we won’t have anything in common”.

In my freshman year of college–over 25 years ago now– I ended up with a roommate who was about as different from me as you could get. I was the sheltered, opinionated girl from a Christian background. She was the worldly, new believer from a difficult past. We both made very serious judgements about each other, causing our freshman year to be extremely challenging for both of us. By the time it was over, we weren’t speaking much. In fact, all of our sophomore year was mostly spent avoiding each other. But at the beginning of our junior year, we ran into each other and just started chatting and we realized something– we had both grown up a bit. We had both changed. Ironically, and by the grace of God, we developed a strong, wonderful friendship that continues to this day.

That friendship developed because both of us were willing to give the other a second chance. We had to forgive and we had to believe that people can change.

Do you believe that? Do you believe that people can change? Or do you make a snap judgement that you never re-visit? Think about someone who just irritates you or maybe someone you wrote off a long time ago. Think on why you made that decision about them. Have you thought about them lately? Have you considered that they might have changed? Or that maybe…possibly…your original judgement may have been wrong??

Sure, some people never change. And some people make it difficult to give them a second chance. But– if we truly believe that God is God–then we have to believe that God can change people. We should never, ever write someone off as hopeless. And we should never, ever make a permanent decision about someone based on a first impression. But we all do it.

Do yourself a big favor–strike up a conversation with someone you decided you don’t care for–or maybe even downright dislike. You may be surprised. You may realize that you can get along with each other, after all. At the very least, you may gain insight into why that person behaves in the way they do. You may walk away saying you never want to do that again but at least you tried. At least you looked past that one bad impression to see the real person.

When right feels wrong

Leave a Comment / June 27, 2011 June 27, 2011

It is so much easier to do the right thing if our percentages for a positive outcome increase. For example, drinking and driving leads to a much greater chance of an accident…succumbing to a fit of anger leads to strife within your family…stealing could lead to an arrest and jail time.

But…it gets a little harder to do the right thing when the percentages for a positive outcome look a little fuzzy…or even downright nonexistent. What happens then? When you have a friend who is living in sin, do you confront them in love, like the Bible tells us to? Or what about a child who says they will “hate” you if you don’t let them do “X”? Do you stand up for what’s right, even in the face of that heart-breaking statement?

You see, when we choose to do what’s right, we do not always have instant gratification. We do not always see the benefit of that right away. And, frankly, sometimes we never see the benefits.

Many, many years ago, I watched someone confront someone about something that was sinful in their life. It was done with love and grace. But it didn’t really matter…because that person’s heart was hard. And the relationship between them was affected permanently. To my knowledge, it was never restored. So, did the person who did the confronting do the right thing? Yep. Did they have a positive outcome? Nope.

But sometimes you just have to wait for awhile to see the positive outcome. Like, take me, for instance. I have written in journals since I was in 6th grade. One day, while dealing with my own teenagers, I decided to read over what I had written as a teenager. What I found there was surprising. I did not remember the anger…true anger…I felt towards my parents when I was not allowed to do certain things. The anger was shocking! But here I was, 30+ years later, and it had all faded. The only feeling that was left in me was deep appreciation and a grateful heart for my parents’ solid commitment to be obedient to the Lord above all.

So often we find ourselves caving in to the “possible outcomes” instead of doing the right thing. We think through all of the possibilities. And then we grow scared. And we do nothing. But, in the long run, we pay. That friendship you are guarding will grow weaker as you and your friend travel in different directions. That child, who is crying out for boundaries (no matter what their mouth is saying), will often walk away from God, figuring it just doesn’t matter.

But not everything needs a conversation, either. After much experience, I have learned to speak up with much more hesitation and discernment. Let’s be honest–some things…many things…are not worthy to be confronted. And many people who are outside your intimate circle have no interest in listening to you (unless you are their pastor or another spiritual leader). We need to be wise!

If we determine that we need to take the step for a conversation, here are a few other questions to ask that are helpful: Is the sin I see habitual? Is the person committing the sin truly committed to the Lord? Will this sin destroy their life if they continue on in this path?

Doing the right thing is not always easy. In fact, it is often the opposite. But we need to strive to do the right thing in all circumstances. Not just when we can rely on positive results. Easier said than done.

2 Thessalonians 3:13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. ¹⁴ And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. ¹⁵ Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

On traveling to a third world country, part 2

Leave a Comment / June 23, 2011 April 26, 2017

As I have been processing all that I observed and experienced on my trip, I have come up with a list of insights and thoughts. It is not comprehensive, of course, but here are some of the things I realized and learned while on my trip to Haiti–

1. If you have enough food to feed your children you are blessed. If you have enough food to feed yourself, you are doubly blessed.

2. People have very similar emotions and relationships and personalities…no matter where you travel.

3. America is a beautiful place.

4. What I complain and moan about often isn’t all that important.

5. Happiness is not dependent on material wealth.

6. The choices here in this country for just about anything (cereal, paint colors, golf courses) are almost unheard of in other parts of the world.

7. If living for Jesus doesn’t ever take us outside our comfort zone, then we are missing out on some huge blessings.

8. Don’t let the porters at the airport intimidate you into handing over your life savings!

9. Clear, pure water from your faucet is an amazing blessing that most of the world does not have.

10. Sharing the gospel isn’t as hard as we think it is.

11. The sky in Haiti is unspeakably beautiful.

12. Trash Collectors provide us with a wonderful service which we take very much for granted.

13. America is a beautiful place (yes, I know I put that one twice).

14. A person’s conscience will inform them that they are living in sin if they are living with someone of the opposite sex and they are not married.

15. The few flowers I did spot were like beacons of color in a mosaic of brown, sandy dirt and green weeds.

16. Hearing a familiar worship song or hymn sung in a different language is a reminder of how all nations will all worship together in Heaven.

17. If you have a house with electricty and running water, you are in the top 20% of the richest people in the world.

18. God’s timing is impeccable.

19. Heaven must look much sweeter to someone who lives in a barren field, in a small tent, with rice and beans making up 90+% of their diets.

I could go on and on. Mostly, I realized the many blessings I take for granted, but instead should be deeply thankful for. But many of these things are material blessings. And while I realized how rare and unusual it is to enjoy them, I realized something even more important—

20. If we have heard the gospel and embraced it…If we have changed and transformed lives because we are so in love with our Savior…if we are truly saved from our sins and not just making an empty profession…THEN we can claim to be brothers and sisters in Christ. And it doesn’t matter from what country we hail…the color of our skin…or the language we speak. And the joy that can be found worshipping with other brothers and sisters who also love the Lord is unspeakable.

On traveling to a third world country

Leave a Comment / June 20, 2011 April 26, 2017

I spent last week in Haiti with my family. When we arrived at Port Au Prince, it was with great fear and trepidation, as none of us had ever been to a third world country. As we traveled from the airport to the compound where we were to stay, our eyes beheld unbelievably sad conditions. From the makeshift tent communities set up everywhere to the little boxes they called “bathrooms” to the men standing on the streets because of a 75% unemployment rate. It was hard to take it all in. As our eyes scanned the countryside, we saw half built buildings, the place where they buried 200,000 victims of the earthquake in a mass grave, and cattle, donkeys, and goats anywhere and everywhere, all with their ribs clearly showing. As we observed, we talked about the hopelessness we saw in the country. Can this country ever be “fixed”?

But during the course of the week, we realized that our job (and the job of the missionaries serving there) is not to fix the country. It is to share the gospel and minister to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

It reminds me so much of that story where the the father and daughter were walking along the seashore among thousands of stranded sea stars. The father started throwing them back in the ocean one by one. The little girl looked at her father and sadly said, “you aren’t even making a difference”. And the father, with great wisdom, replied: “it makes a difference to that one”. I thought of that story often this week. It makes a difference to that one. We were there to minister to whomever God put in front of us. In is His sovereignty, He knew whose heart was ready to hear the gospel. He knew who needed encouragement to keep going. Because He knows everything.

And the interesting thing was…while we were there to minister to the Haitians, they in turn ministered to us. The joy in the lives of the Christians there is a wonderful thing seldom seen here in America. The warm hugs given without reservation to a stranger would be unusual here.

Sure, they have lots of problems, even in their Christian communities. And only being there a week gave us little insight into the working of the communities. But it was with great humility that I observed the grateful eyes and heard the soft spoken “mercis” with which they took a bag filled with rice and beans that would feed their family for at least a month. And I felt great shame over the things I find myself complaining about. We are living so far above survival here in the states that we have lost track of what truly matters.

You see, life is really not about us. Most of us Christians will walk around saying that with our mouths…but do our lives match our words? I know that I, personally, love my comfort zone. But what if that comfort zone is not where God wants me? Are we willing to go where He asks? Whether it be to a different country, the inner city here in America, or to bring foster children into your home? What are YOU doing to further God’s Kingdom?

Luke 12:48b says “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” No matter your economic status here in the United States…even if you are on welfare…you have more than 80% of the rest of the world. You have been given MUCH. What are you doing with what you have been given? It is a question that should truly be considered by all of us.

No posts this week

Leave a Comment / June 13, 2011 June 13, 2011

I just wanted to let my readers know that I am in Haiti for the week. I will be back again next Monday, probably with lots of stories to tell! Have a good week!

A Personal Testimony

3 Comments / June 9, 2011 June 9, 2011

So many of us languish in the land of the “Impossible”. We may have a desire to serve God in a specific way but we are halted by fear of the unknown or we are halted by lack of finances. I want to take just a moment and share with you how God worked out all of the details for our family of six to take a mission trip together. I am going to start at the beginning–

Since my children were small, it has been one of my greatest longings that they do not leave our home without experiencing a trip outside of the culture of the United States. I believe without it, we American Christians are in grave danger of holding a worldview that is not only very small, but also often inaccurate. And, so, one of my personal goals for my children has always been for each one of them to go on a mission trip. MY plan was to take them one at a time. I would take the girls and my husband and son would go on one and we would do this as we could afford it. But God had a different idea! One I like better!

Last fall, while looking for a trip for my husband and son to go on, we came across a trip offered by GAiN (Global Aid Network) to Haiti. As we studied the details of that trip, we realized that we could all possibly take this trip together. And then came a few obstacles–

The first obstacle was our 11 year old. To go on this trip you need to be 13. When I talked with the leader she said they never make exceptions. I was disappointed and we made the decision to go ahead and just have the guys go without the rest of the family. But, as one last-ditch effort, I decided to contact a dear friend that my oldest daughter and I had made on a former mission trip with GAiN. She knew our family and she works in the office there, so I thought it couldn’t hurt.

A few days later, I received an e-mail. “Contact me about your whole family going on the trip.” When I had contacted the leader, she explained that an exception had been made. Eventually, I figured out that the man in charge of the “exceptions” was none other than my friend’s husband! God had been orchestrating back in 2007 for me to meet and connect with just the right person that could enable this trip to be a reality.

Next came the obstacles of finances. We figured we could afford it by sacrificing but lots of little things started adding up. For example, did you realize that to take 6 people to a third world country, you will spend almost a thousand dollars in vaccinations? And then we found out that the trip to Haiti only started in Miami and we would need to pay to get our family to Miami. This was going to cost at least $350 per person, plus the baggage fees, as it was a domestic flight. These were expenses we had not planned on. But again God stepped in and took such good care of us!

While trying to find a flight to Miami, I was discouraged because prices were going up and the team was having a hard time nailing down the flight out of Miami to Port au Prince due to some difficulties with other groups who were going. I was getting very nervous and shared this with our team leader. She suggested that I try to find a direct flight out of JFK airport and they would credit our trip $350. So, I started to do some checking on flights.

Would you believe that a direct flight from JFK to Port au Prince cost us almost exactly $350? So not only would we not have to deal with changing planes and layovers, but we would be saving at least $2100 by not having to fly to Miami! But God wasn’t finished yet!

In January, our 15 year old had taken a trip to Brazil with her school. The trip back was delayed and she ended up getting an $800 credit from American Airlines. We didn’t know when we’d use it, but it was certainly a nice gesture on their part.

But would you believe that American Airlines is the ONLY airline that I found that even provided a direct connection from Haiti to Port au Prince for the dates and times that we needed? So, now we had $800 to put towards our flights that was a true gift. This covered the unexpected costs of our vaccinations.

I am not sure if I have communicated my excitement in seeing God working out these details! And, due to length, I haven’t even shared a couple of other really special ways God chose to work. Do you realize that God cares about the details of our lives? He is alive and He is working! Sure, it is now always how we want. And sure, it doesn’t always look like it to our human finite eyes. But God IS working and occasionally He shows us in ways that no one would dare call a coincidence. What a blessing!

If you are living for Him and you want to please Him with your life and actions, He will come alongside you and work out the details in amazing ways. Don’t you dare forget it.

5 Things We Can Learn from Children

Leave a Comment / June 6, 2011 May 22, 2015

The other night my daughter was babysitting a one year old. The adorable little girl came into our home, looked around, and made herself at home. She smiled at all of us, started eating the dinner that was being fed to her, and was content. It led to a conversation at our dinner table about how little children can just come into a strange home and feel right at home and how we, as adults, can’t do that. It got me thinking about a few things we can learn from children who are blissfully unaware of all of the social implications of their actions–

1) No pretensions. Have you ever talked with a little child? They are who they are. They are not strutting around pretending to be someone they are not. There is no wondering if the child is upset or happy or angry. We always know, don’t we? There hasn’t been years of wall-building and hypocrisy to dig our way through. While I am not suggesting it is healthy to express our emotions at every opportunity, I am suggesting that I think this world and our churches would benefit greatly if we would stop trying to impress one another. So many of us have built these thick walls around our hearts and lives. What would happen if we would tear our walls down and get real?

2) Live in the Moment. Have you ever seen a little guy dance to a tune that was playing? It is a joy to see the little legs bouncing up and down, as they try to move to the beat. But somewhere along the way, we forget to dance. We forget to enjoy the moment. We get wrapped up in taking kids to soccer, in paying the bills, in doing the housework. You know the old saying–Stop and smell the roses? Perhaps we should do that more often in life. Just stop and enjoy the moment. Enjoy watching the birds in your backyard. Enjoy petting your dog for a moment. Watch your child chase butterflies and hunt bugs. Stop and really watch your husband wrestling with the kids. Grab a hand and dance joyfully to the song playing. These are beautiful moments the Lord gives us. Let’s not take them for granted. Those fleeting moments are what make up the tapestry of our vaporous lives.

3) Eat until your full. Children do not continue to stuff themselves after they are full. They only eat when they are hungry. They obey the mechanism that God so intelligently designed and when their bellies feel hungry, they eat. And when they feel full, they stop eating. Somewhere along the way, many of us have stopped obeying that mechanism. It’s breakfast time? Then I have to eat, even if I am not hungry. I am at a party with a table full of delicious food? I have to try some, even if I just ate a complete meal before I came. I wonder what would happen if, as adults, we continued to obey our hungry and full signals?

4) Don’t Let the Fear of Others’ Opinions Rule You. Some of my favorite “mommy” moments were when I could get my babies to start giggling. They would give this big belly laugh, filling my heart with pure joy. They didn’t worry what anyone was thinking about them. They didn’t worry about if they were cool or look around, wondering if someone noticed that they “snorted”. Because it didn’t matter. They were having fun! So often, we let the fear of others’ reactions dominate our choices. While I understand that we do need to be concerned about others and about our Christian testimony, sometimes we may be concerned about unimportant things. Does it really matter if the neighbor thinks you are crazy for catching fireflies at dusk? Does it really matter if you play a game and people make fun of how you run (personal experience on that one!)? Does it really matter if you fall on the ice? Or if your hair gets wet? So often we let the fear of people’s opinions and reactions keep us from enjoying our lives.

5) Be okay with the way God made you. Ever see a baby wear make-up? Or get plastic surgery? So, let’s be honest. If you are like me–aging quickly–you are not feeling so adorable. Many of us won’t even leave the house without make-up. But why not? Why do we feel the need to have something on our faces to face the public? Why do so many feel the need to enlarge or reduce areas of their body through plastic surgery? Why isn’t the way God made us good enough? Instead of being grateful for the incredible body God designed, we complain that our noses are too large, our hair is too curly, our legs are too short, our hips, too narrow or too wide. But children are not conscious of this yet. They just are. Sometimes I wish we could appreciate the amazing body we have been given without the constant attitude of criticism that almost every woman (and man??) feels when they look in the mirror.

Unfortunately, real life takes its toll and, sooner rather than later, we all learn some pretty hard lessons. People can’t be trusted. The way I look isn’t good enough. You know the dialogue. But perhaps we can learn just a few things from the children in our lives.

Just a thought for today…

Who is your hero?

Leave a Comment / June 2, 2011 June 2, 2011

There seems to be something wrong with a nation that makes people who can throw a ball or say a line on a screen their heroes. If you look around, you will find heroes right in your own family. Or in your church. Or at the soccer game. Because the true heroes in this life are the ones who give up personal gain to serve others.

It is my children’s teacher who patiently and lovingly cares for his ailing wife. It is the elderly man who continues to work enthusiastically for the Lord with a smile on his face, even though his body is wearing out. It is the Doctor that actually treats you like you are a person instead of a number. It is the person who endures tragedy and then takes action…to work tirelessly on getting a law passed…to speak to teenagers about drunk driving…to share a testimony of how God used this in their life.

Unfortunately–and I do mean unfortunately— I had the chance to see one of today’s hottest stars perform a song on the TV screen the other week. After 2 seconds, we hit the fast forward button but even that did not keep our eyes from seeing the disturbing performance. The outfits (or lack of)…the sensual movements…the whole thing was…well, I am struggling to find words to express how offensive it was.

And, yet…this is who our kids are idolizing?!? Oftentimes, these are the people WE are idolizing? What is wrong with us?

I have heard someone say that we should encourage our kids to be producers instead of consumers. I wonder if this dynamic isn’t part of what is going on? If our kids (and ourselves, for that matter) only consume life then it is natural that our heroes will become people who we watch sing a song…kick a ball…swing a club…say a line in a fictional story…drive a car around a track.

But, if instead we become producers, then our heroes are going to be those who are also producing, whatever your field of interest. Whether it be the surgeon who has come up with a new method, the woman who started a home for orphans, the guy who started Wal-mart (that is actually a great story!), or the preacher who preaches the truth unwaveringly.

And, lest someone misunderstands, let me assure you that I do believe that acting, singing, and playing sports are all legitimate professions…I just don’t think their participants should be idolized. After all, how are they making this world better by what they are doing? Of course, some do take their platform and money and use it for great good. But, oftentimes, this is not the reason they have become someone’s idol.

And, while we are thinking about who our heroes are, perhaps we should think about another thing…are YOU anybody’s hero? Does anyone aspire to be like you? Should anyone aspire to be like you??

As I write, I can think of several ladies at my church who set a great example for me. They are woman who are in their 70s and 80s and are actively serving the Lord. They shed a ray of sunlight wherever they go. They minister in whatever way they are physically able. They are pleasant, with a kind word often on their lips. Such a contrast to the complaining and selfish people of this age we so often run into.

And I wonder…when I am that age, will anyone look to me as a great example? Or will I be one of those selfish, complaining types? And, if I am going to be someone’s hero, then I had better start developing that now. Because it won’t just appear by some miracle later on. And, for that matter, I am getting older quickly…are younger women who are watching me right now encouraged or discouraged to follow my example when they analyze my words and actions?

So…two questions to think about today– 1) Who are my heroes? and 2) Am I worthy to be anybody’s hero?