An Exercise in Trust

Ironically, I had just read a book that contained the account of a deadly ferry fire. All those on the ferry had perished with the exception of just a few. Granted, this had occurred back in the 1800s, when the safety of passengers was not of the greatest concern. But, still…we do hear of ferry tragedies today…

So while I thought the ferry would be fun, I did have this in the back of my mind. And the ferry to the island was fun. It was a beautiful ride in the summer sunshine. Dousing ourselves in sunscreen, we sat on the front deck, drinking sodas and lemonade as we watched boats of all shapes and sizes pass by us on the water. After a pleasant 45 minutes, we were at our destination.

After enjoying a lovely day on the island, we prepared to go back on the ferry. The first hiccup was the 7:30pm ferry. Our plan was to take this ferry back to the mainland. Unfortunately, we did not realize that the 7:30pm ferry only picked passengers up on the weekends. We had totally missed that fine print (we weren’t the only ones).

Disappointed but not disheartened, we walked to a park to wait for the 8:30pm ferry. Had we known we had that extra hour we certainly wouldn’t have wasted it in a park but such is life. Around 8:10 or so we headed over to the ferry dock.

As we watched the ferry move closer to us, it looked…different. Observing the amount of people that stood in front and back of me in line, I couldn’t imagine how this small boat would hold them all. The smallish cabin of this ferry was at one end, while the back end looked like…a road (photo above was my view as we chugged back to the mainland). I found out later that the regular ferry had broken down and this stand-in was a ferry used to carry tankers.

As we boarded, we quickly realized it was going to be an interesting ride. There were no announcements about life vests or safety or anything else. There were no warnings to stay back from the edge and away from the various holes, both protected only by flimsy, orange plastic fence. And staff were nowhere to be found. I was “unpleasantly” surprised and found myself growing more and more nervous.

We found ourselves on the lower deck (on the “road”), just standing there at the back. A kind couple had left us take a chair out of the back of their pickup for my husband because he is unable to stand for very long due to his bad back (an update regarding his surgery will be at the end of this post) and so we just stood there by him.

Well, that was until the ferry started its engine to move out into the open water. Oh, my, was that loud!! My daughter and I took her boys and moved to the front of the “road”, while my husband and son-in-law remained under those loud engines. As we stood there in disbelief, her oldest son had a look of stark fear on his face and said, “This is the worst thing on this trip!”

I couldn’t agree with you more, buddy! I tried to stay calm, but, all the while, my mind kept going back to that book I had just read. This just didn’t feel at all safe. This was going to be a longgggg forty-five minutes.

It did not help AT ALL that there was a huge NO SMOKING sign on the ferry and about halfway through our trip I saw an arrogant young man skateboarding his way across the deck while smoking a cigar.

That is when my fear reached an all-time high. I started dwelling on the what-ifs and if-onlys. Do you know what I mean? Have you been there? Maybe not on a ferry but in some other place or at some other time that plagues you with these questions.

At some point, I realized that sometimes God’s Sovereignty allows for terrible tragedies. And I asked myself: Would I still believe He is good even if this ferry did not reach its destination?

I know this probably sounds so silly and dramatic to some of you (a vivid imagination is definitely one of the hazards of being a writer!) but these were the thoughts that filled my mind as I found myself in that totally unexpected situation. And I realized that I needed to just trust God, no matter what. Whatever happened, He had not changed. He was still good and kind and sovereign. To live is Christ, to die is gain (Philippians 1:21).

As I thought of these things, I came to a bit of peace. I still was not enjoying it, but my fear settled down. As I hugged my grandson, who was crying, probably both from fear and exhaustion, I could honestly say that we would be alright, believing my own words.

Why did I happen to read that book with the deadly ferry fire right before that ferry ride? I think it was because I needed that exercise in trust. These kinds of situations test us and strengthen us for the moments that it becomes not an exercise but the real thing.

It reminds me of a soldier who will attend boot camp and drill practice to prepare for the real battle. Let us not waste these little, seemingly insignificant, moments in our lives for they are probably given to help prepare us for those inevitable battles that lay ahead of us all as we go through life. May we not waste even one opportunity God gives us to remember His loving Sovereignty in our lives (Romans 8:28-29). And may we not forget to thank Him when we come through a frightening experience safe and protected. :)

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Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
 In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?

(Psalm 56:3-4)

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TWO QUICK NOTES:

First, I still cannot email from my growing4life email address. I spent a few hours a few weeks back trying to fix this. I will work on it again to try to fix it, although at this point, I am not even sure where to turn… At any rate, I wanted to let you know that I SO appreciate all of you who have taken the time to write and encourage me and to let me know you will be praying for my husband’s upcoming surgery.

And, second, speaking of the surgery… a few of you have asked about the date. The surgery is schedule for this Monday, July 31. We are so grateful for your prayers regarding this. We so appreciate them!!