Real Life

Hopelessly Flawed

2 Comments / May 12, 2025

Every now and again, I bear a bit of my soul here on the blog. I am going to do that today.

Getting old is not all that fun. Now, don’t get me wrong—there are some amazing blessings in the process. For me, personally, some of these have been my adult children becoming my friends, my precious grandchildren, and wisdom learned from really hard lessons. But there is a lot of grief (for a variety of reasons) involved in the process of getting older, as well. One of the most shallow reasons for grief is the loss of outward beauty.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I looked in a mirror and liked what I saw. I don’t say this to garner any comments (please do not comment) but I share this for a very specific reason.

Now, if I’m honest, I never did think I was that much to look at. It’s not like I was some great beauty even in my youth. But as I’ve gotten older, unsightly brown spots have made their appearance all over my arms and legs. Worse yet, a few large ones decided to settle on my face. My weight has crept up and the pounds seem to want to take up permanent residence unless I make drastic lifestyle changes—changes that I just can’t find the energy to make with everything going on in my life. My hair has darkened into an unattractive, lackluster shade, complete with some unsymmetrical streaks of gray around my temples. All in all, it has been a discouraging turn of events.

But here’s the thing: This is life.

There are things we can do to rid ourselves of these things. We can have the dermatologist remove brown spots (but they can return). We can work hard to lose weight but, if we are someone who loves food, the battle is real. (I remember talking with an elderly friend years ago who battled her flesh in this area her whole life. I can so relate.) We can color our hair. We can have surgery for unsightly varicose veins. We can get nose jobs and Botox and plump our lips artificially.

But in the end, we will get old. We can’t stop it from happening. And, in fact, unless we are making unhealthy or undisciplined choices, what is happening is natural.

Did older women used to stress about these things? Back before there was a push to stay young forever; back before “youth” was the be-all end-all… did they care about the extra pounds around their middle? Did they get so upset about nature taking its course on their body? How much of this is cultural?

But that’s another conversation for another day. I am writing today because I want to share the lesson I have been learning as I have been working through all of this. You see, what is happening in my heart and mind is so much more important than what is happening to me physically.

When I look in the mirror and am filled with discontentment, I am focused on the wrong thing. I am being ungrateful, I am being self-absorbed, I am being worldly.

Any focus on self—whether it be negative or positive is simply self-absorption at the core. Self-esteem is not a biblical concept—no matter what “Christian” promotes it. We are to live for God and not for self.

Looking in the mirror with discontent is wrong. Looking in the mirror with a boastful heart is wrong. Both are wrong.

Let me share a story. This is fictional.

Once upon a time, there were three sisters. They were very close to one another but one day, a dreadful argument began between the three of them that lasted for days. Their feelings towards each other and their frustration spilled out on to the people around them, sowing discord and contention.

Finally, they sat down to talk it out. Instead of blame, they began to think of things for which they were grateful for regarding the other person. The humility of this act brought about the necessary spirit for forgiveness and healing. At the end, one sister said this statement:

We are all so hopelessly flawed.

Wow. How true is this? We are all so hopelessly flawed. I am just so hopelessly flawed.

I can recognize this when I am dissatisfied with how I look. I should be grateful! God has given me so very much to be thankful for! There are so many things my body is able to do each day. So many ways in which God allows me to enjoy life through the use of my arms and legs. There is always something to be thankful for and it changes our attitudes.

And, yet, I can find myself mourning what used to be. This is a hopelessly flawed response.

Paul tells us in Philippians to press on and not look behind (3:13-14)—

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Growing older isn’t something to be ashamed of. And it’s not something to be proud of. It just is. It’s just one stage in a series of stages we all live through—none is more important than another. They just are.

No matter what age we are, we can find things for which we can be grateful.

Never regret growing older,

It’s a privilege denied to many.

But, since we are talking about flaws, I may as well confess that I am hopelessly flawed in so many areas of my life, not just this one. The older I get the more I realize this. It can be so very discouraging.

When the three sisters from the story admitted that they were all so hopelessly flawed, they realized how much they needed each other. And that’s so true, isn’t it? We all have strengths and weaknesses and we need each other.

We don’t always appreciate the ways in which others are not like us but if we were all alike, it would be a sad world indeed.

I thank God for His Sovereignty in bringing just the right people into my life—whether for a lifetime or for just a small window of time. Nothing is an accident.

Just think how some of the most frustrating and hurtful people in your life taught you some of life’s most important lessons—patience, forgiveness, not holding grudges, and how to love unconditionally.

God truly does use the people we encounter to grow us to look more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-29), whether it be to support and encourage us or to teach us really hard lessons.

But the sisters missed the most important thing. It was a secular story so I expected this. But being hopelessly flawed doesn’t only remind us why we need each other but, so much more importantly, this reminds us why we need Jesus. Only Jesus can cover our hopelessly flawed self with His righteousness. This is why He died and rose again—to enable our hopelessly flawed selves to be right with God and to live forever with Him. Only Jesus!

And so, while recognizing our flaws can be very discouraging, they also serve as a reminder of how much we need Jesus. I am nothing without Him. None of us are.

May we turn our focus from self to God. From our feelings to God’s Word. From discontentment to gratitude. From frustration to patience. From irritation to kindness. For this is how we can be sure to keep growing in the Lord and be a blessing to those around us.

Easier said than done, yes. But God…

The Buzzy Bothersome Fly

2 Comments / October 1, 2024

The fly was one of those kinds of flies. You know the kind with the extremely loud buzz that seems extra agitated and can’t sit for more than a second?

This is what greeted me the other morning as I sat down for my quiet time in our sun room. I debated for a second. Should I get a fly swatter? But it was so very agitated that it would be impossible to find it, much less swat it.

I sat down to see what would happen. The buzzing could be heard from across the room. It was so loud and distracting. It would move closer and closer to my head and then off it would go again. At one point, I did grab the fly swatter but it moved way too fast and just wouldn’t land.

So I sat down again. And tried to focus on my Bible.

Eventually, it either landed somewhere or flew to a different room because I noticed that it was finally quiet. I have no idea what happened to it. I never saw it again.

Distractions that come at us on a daily basis are a little like that buzzy bothersome fly, aren’t they?

They buzz around us loudly, demanding our attention. You can almost hear them saying, “chase after me…”

They keep us from prayer, from meditating and studying scripture, and from doing the good works the Lord has planned for us, such as caring for our families as we should or acts of loving service to others. Always insisting that they are more important, these buzzing flies have our full attention for far too long before we even realize what happened.

These flies can come in the shape of emails, social media, and news. They are things like entertainment, hobbies, sports, or overcommitment. Sometimes the “flies” are not bad things but they keep us from the best things.

For me, personally, my greatest buzzy bothersome fly is my phone. This small device demands my attention even when I am with people I love. I see other people who may suffer from this same distraction, as well. They hold the device when they are with family or friends, staring intently at it.

I wonder why do I do this? Why do I care about anything on my phone when I am with someone I love? And why does it call my name when I am spending time with my Lord?

Be rest assured that I am writing this with myself in mind. I am not judging anyone else. You may have a good reason that your phone is demanding your attention that no one else knows. This is a really personal thing because, generally, no one knows why the screen we are staring at is so important to us at that moment. Only we can examine our phone usage (particularly during our Bible study/prayer times or in the presence of others) and determine if it is unnecessary or even rude. But I believe it’s a pretty important question for many of us. One that needs an honest answer.

I think there is a good explanation for this innate drive to stare at this powerful object (and an intentional, very evil purpose) behind it all but that is not the purpose of this post.

No, the purpose of this post is to encourage us all (myself included) to examine what is distracting us from our best, most God-honoring life? And then to intentionally go about changing it, with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Consider for a moment, if you will, a stick in a fast-flowing stream. What will keep that stick from flowing downstream? Nothing can or will unless someone intentionally picks it up from the stream and removes it.

We are like that stick in a stream that is quickly flowing away from growing in godliness and moving us towards a status quo, ineffective life. Our lives will not change unless we decide to intentionally change it. Yes, true and lasting change is impossible without the Holy Spirit, Who is there to give us the strength and help we need. But we need to remember that He’s not going to just swoop in and change us without any effort on our part (see verses below).

Effort is hard and some of us just feel…unmotivated. But may we not be so unmotivated that we stop living with intention. Even little changes can reap big benefits. What is one change we can make today that will start us moving in the right direction?

Our intentional efforts, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to be conformed to the image of Christ and to not be conformed to this world will shine the light of the Gospel into this dark, weary world. And it will encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ, reminding them that He does have the power to change those who want to be changed.

But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. (2 Thess. 3:13)

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12-13)

But What About My Dreams?

2 Comments / October 24, 2023

We all have dreams and aspirations for this life. For some, they are BIG dreams of wealth and power or to travel the world. For others, the dreams may be simpler, such as to be married or to be a parent or to own a house. As we get older, we begin to recognize that we need to say good-bye to some of our dreams, as they just aren’t going to happen. Some of us find this out when we are young.

Does God care about our dreams, our desires, and the longings of our hearts?

We know He does because He cares for us. And, in fact, Psalm 37 tells us He will give us the desires of our hearts. So is there a condition for this promise?

There certainly is. But before we look at what that condition is, I want to share the story of a man by the name of Samuel Pearce.

Born in 1766, Samuel was saved at the age of 16. He was soon on fire for the Lord and his heart’s desire immediately was to go on the Mission Field. He made plans to sail to New Zealand for this purpose but those plans fell through. And so he became God’s hard-working and faithful servant right where he was.

However, the dream to go on the mission field never left him. And when he met William Carey (pioneer missionary to India), they became great friends. Soon he was making plans to join Carey in India. It was his heart’s burning desire to join Carey there. Surely, God wouldn’t deny this godly man his dream?

But God said no. And Samuel Pearce never did get to go to India.

Why was this godly man denied such a godly dream? Why wasn’t he able to go to India?

Let’s go back to Psalm 37:4 and read the entire verse–

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

There is a condition and that is we are to delight ourselves in the Lord. This is the condition to receiving the desires of our hearts. That is because, when we do this, our desires naturally change.

And so, Samuel Pearce chose to delight himself in His Lord and he surrendered his dream to God’s will. There was no bitterness or rancor in his heart. Oh, I am sure he questioned God but He also trusted His heavenly Father to know best and gave even this most holy dream over to God’s Sovereignty.

Samuel Pearce suffered from illness and died by the age of 33, never seeing India or any other part of the world. But He continued to serve God until that day. He never turned from God because he trusted God.

And this leads us back to our own dreams. Is it wrong to have dreams for our lives? Well, not necessarily (more about that later). But we need to surrender any dream or desire we may have to God’s will for our lives. His will may be different than ours and we need to accept that without bitterness and without resentment.

This is easier said than done, isn’t it? But it’s our only path to the peace that God promises. And, in fact, it’s our only path to the fulfillment of all God’s promises. We must surrender to His Sovereign will for our lives.

Oh, as usual, this is so much easier to write than to live out! We get upset at the smallest detour in our mundane plans. Perhaps the best way to prepare our hearts for the loss of our big dreams is to practice submitting to God’s Sovereignty without complaint in the small, everyday things.

And let’s not forget to thank God for those wonderful blessings He gives us and for the dreams we have had that have been fulfilled. He is a God full of lovingkindness and mercies. Psalm 103:1-5 reminds us of this–

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

So what about my dreams? Is there anything wrong with having a dream for my life? Well, that depends.

If our dreams and aspirations for our lives are completely self-centered and selfish, then…yes. God clearly tells us in His Word that when we are redeemed, our priorities change. We are living for Him and not for ourselves. But if our desires are not born out of our own selfish agenda, then…no. Nothing wrong with these.

But, no matter what it is we long for, we need to surrender this to our heavenly Father, trusting that He knows best and remembering that He loves us more than we can even imagine!

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly. 

O Lord of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You! (Psalm 84:11-12)

You can be encouraged by the life of Samuel Pearce and also by the lives of others godly Christians in the book Sound of Trumpets by Faith Cook. I highly recommend it.

The Place of God’s Appointment is the Place of God’s Provision

1 Comment / June 13, 2023

Have you ever talked to someone who insists that God’s Will is something that goes completely against His Word? Perhaps they are walking away from a loyal and loving spouse because they are infatuated with someone else. Or they are taking an outrageous and irresponsible financial or physical risk, insisting that God has sanctioned this decision. Perhaps it is a mom that is making her career a priority rather than her family or it is the pursuit of a dream at the cost of far too much. Whatever it may be, Christians often expect God’s provision and blessing upon them in these choices they insist are God’s will.

But is this how God works? Does God bless and provide when we are in a place where we were never to be in the first place? I guess occasionally He may–simply because of to His tremendous grace and undeserved mercy– but that should not be our expectation.

In I Kings 17, God told Elijah to go to the brook Cherith, assuring him that He would send the ravens there to feed him. Elijah obeyed the Lord immediately. Verse 5 puts it this simply: So he did what the Lord had told him.

That’s all the information we have so we do not know if this cost Elijah anything. Although, we can imagine it must have been rather strange for him to expect food from a bird, much less one that was considered unclean by His people. That alone would have been a challenge that we can’t really comprehend very well. But Elijah’s provision came because of His obedience. He was fed by the ravens at a specific place. Had he chosen to ignore God or go to a different brook, he would not have had God’s provision or His blessing.

I am currently reading a book by Will Varner called The Chariot of Israel and it is in there that I was reminded of this important truth yesterday. I have been thinking on this ever since and considering the truth of this in my life and the lives of other believers I’ve met.

The author puts it like this–

The place of God’s appointment is the place of His provision. In other words, you’ve got to be in the place God wants you to be if you expect to claim the promise that God will meet your needs. This is the Old Testament counterpart of a New Testament truth that’s stated in Matthew 6:33: “But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” If I am seeking first the Kingdom of God, I can be assured that God will meet my needs. The place of God’s appointment is the place of His provision. Are you where God wants you to be? Then you can claim God’s promise that He will meet your need.” *

I think about this on my own life. I can think of one time, in particular, that my husband and I made an extremely difficult choice in order to please the Lord. We knew He wanted us to do a certain thing, although it was sure to cost our family so much. But we went ahead and did what we knew we had to do in order to follow God. And did it cost us? You bet it did. It cost us a LOT. It is one of the most painful times we have been through. BUT… looking back now, we can see God’s incredible grace and mercy carrying us through that time. And there were some amazing blessings that came because we chose to obey the Lord rather than rebel against His will.

So now when we look back at that time, it is with awe in our hearts at God’s faithfulness to us despite the difficulty of the path. We experienced His provision in a wonderful way because we were willing to travel the path He had made clear we were to go.

Of course, sometimes I stick my feet in the ground and just say NO, God, that’s too much. I just don’t want to. An example of that is the music I so loved. I’ve written about that often before. I told God, in no uncertain terms, that I would not give it up. I said this to Him for years and years. But as the battle grew more fierce in my soul, so did the conviction. It finally prompted me to ask God for help as I struggled with my unwillingness to do what I knew God desired me to do. And guess what? When I finally was willing to step out in faith and obey, again came tremendous blessing: God totally removed my taste for the music I had so loved. I still look upon that as a small miracle. I am in awe even yet when I think about it.

And, yet, I still struggle giving up certain things or walking the way I know God wants me to walk sometimes. Even after all of that. Isn’t that just ridiculous? Even as I write this, I can hardly believe my own stupidity sometimes.

The one thing I do know, though, is that the more we are willing to follow hard after God, denying self and turning from the world, the more blessing we receive. So that we don’t really miss what we thought we would miss. It really defies logic. God is so amazing! His grace is amazing and so is His provision! The same God that fed Elijah with the ravens is the same God still at work today in our lives!

Can you look back, as I do, and trace God’s amazing provision and abundant grace in your own life? If you have walked with God for any length of time, I am sure you can. His promises are not just empty words. They are proven true over and over again by those who are God’s own dear children. His provision is a very real thing to those of us that seek to love Him with our whole heart, soul, strength, and mind (Mark 12:30).

And so I want to encourage you this morning to step out in faith and do what God has called you to do. It may be something as simple as sharing the Gospel with a co-worker or reaching out in kindness to an elderly neighbor. It may be giving up an ungodly TV series or leaving a church that is headed a wrong direction. Whatever it may be, know that your choice to follow God will not go unnoticed by Him but will lead to His provision and blessing as you seek to serve Him. He is so kind and so very faithful. He will keep you and He will change you.

Psalm 1 echoes this thought and so I wanted to share a few verses here this morning of this precious Psalm. I hope you will carry these words with you as you seek to follow God and do His will today–

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

*The Chariot of Israel by Will Varner, p. 23

How Studying the Bible Changes You

6 Comments / March 30, 2021

I was so perplexed and started to grow angry. Was she kidding? No, there was an unpleasant glint in her eye that gave credence to her words.

My daughter had been given permission from the guy at the top of the bridge to have her baby’s car seat in the plane. When we arrived in the plane, the stewardess informed us in no uncertain terms that this would not be possible. She condescendingly told us it was a full flight and she highly doubted there would be room for his seat. But the plane was far from full. So not only was she rude but she lied. We did question why permission was given at the top, which seemed to set her against us. She continued her churlishness with us throughout the flight. This same stewardess was quite rude to the rest of family behind us as they made legitimate requests. It’s hard to believe that someone like that has a job working with people.

A few moments before the flight started, a man came and very kindly explained that, due to Covid, car seats were no longer allowed on the smaller planes. While this didn’t make any sense to us at all, his calm and kind manner as he explained was comforting after the stinging meanness of the stewardess. (They all seemed to be rather confused as to protocol regarding car seats and the rules about them. It was very disorganized. It does seem like we now live in a world where anything and everything can be blamed on Covid. It’s actually very strange.)

As we taxied on the runway and then took off, I could feel myself growing angrier and angrier at this woman. I wanted nothing more than to be rude back to her. But about fifteen or twenty minutes in, as I started to settle down, it dawned on me that she was very likely unsaved and that I had a Christian testimony to keep. While I (to my shame) did not go out of my way to “kill her with kindness”, I did manage to hold my tongue and to mumble a “thank you” a time or two as she brought things by.

I do long for the day that I can overcome my flesh in these situations and actually be extra kind when someone is so incredibly rude to me (or my child.) But Sunday was not that day.

The next morning, I was reading in Matthew and I came across these verses in chapter six–

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I thought about this lady from the day before and remembered the danger of holding grudges. I thought of how anger and bitterness shatter all relationships–whether it be with a stranger, a customer, a person at church, a friend, or a family member.

Unforgiveness and bitterness destroy everything in their path. It can never be allowed to set up residence in our soul. Even over the small matter of an extra-ordinarily rude stewardess. At that moment, I chose to forgive her. I wished I had been able to do that on the plane so that I could have been a better testimony. I will probably never see her again and that chance is gone.

So, honestly, I am not a big one for flying. Flying with masks is far worse. But the thing that had me the most worried was that all of the women, save one, in our family were on the same plane for four different flights. About two weeks before we had left this hit me and I grew incredibly worried about something happening to all of us at the same time. Enter Matthew, chapter six again. It was from the end of that chapter that I drew much comfort and chose to trust the Lord.

You see, in the Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge we have been reading Matthew 5-8, which contains the Sermon on the Mount. There have been so many times that what I have been reading and studying over this past month have been practically applied to my daily life. I gave just two examples above but there are so many more. The scriptures have exhorted, reminded, encouraged, and rebuked me. They truly are life-changing.

Any good in me, any right response, is the Holy Spirit working through the Word to transform me and make me look more like Christ. It has nothing whatsoever to do with me or my efforts to be a “better person”.

I wish I could get every single person who claims to love Jesus to actually study the Word. It would change the world because it changes the individual.

If you’d like to study the Bible but aren’t sure where to begin, I’d like to invite you to join this year’s Bible Reading Challenge. It’s a great time to join because we will begin the book of Ruth on April 1st. You can find the details here. I would love to have you join me in studying God’s Word.

But any study of God’s Word is life-changing. The key is to get started. Paul tells us in I Timothy 3:16-17–

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

If we want to be transformed by the Word, it will require study and meditation. Cursorily reading it isn’t a bad thing but it could be compared to a lollipop in its sustenance regarding our spiritual health.

Life happens. Every day we face various trials and challenges. Big ones and small ones. We face rude stewardesses, customer service reps, and clerks. We find out a company scammed us or cheated us or didn’t receive our payment. We learn that our child or spouse or family member did something very disappointing. We find out that someone passed away, is getting divorced, or has been diagnosed with illness.

God has told us how to respond to these things and so much more in His Word. But if we don’t know it, we are missing out on the greatest strength and guidance God has offered us. Let us not ignore this wonderful gift God has given us for this life.

 

 

Those Deceptive, Capricious Feelings

9 Comments / September 8, 2020

In the past year or two, God has been showing me how much I have lived by my feelings. Oh, when I compared myself to the world, I looked pretty good. I didn’t live by my feelings so often that it was ruining my life. Not like some people. Or was I? It has been something that I have been thinking on for awhile but it intensified greatly when I started experiencing extreme anxiety during this past summer.

I became aware that I was most definitely living by my feelings. I was allowing them to control me. They were ruling my thought life, my choices, and…well…pretty much my entire life.

When I felt anxious or scared–which, at one point, was almost every second of the day–I became a different person. I was allowing these feelings to change me. To direct my path.

But I guess most of us do this in one way or another. We don’t “feel” like doing anything productive so we scroll through Facebook or mindlessly watch TV. We “feel” like eating that second helping or that third cookie and so we eat instead of practicing self-discipline. We see something in the store or online that we “feel” like buying so we buy it, even if we can’t afford it. We don’t “feel” like talking to that annoying person (who needs Jesus) so we walk the other way. We “feel” scared to share the Gospel with someone so we just don’t. We “feel” angry with our spouse or our child and this dictates how we treat them–whether through yelling at them or by giving them the silent treatment. We “feel” scared or shy or excited or frustrated or sad–and these feelings dictate our choices and responses.

It’s a very human thing to do.

But it is not godly.

Living life according to our deceptive, capricious feelings is a very natural way to live. But it is not a godly way to live.

Recently, my dear friend, Becky, passed away after a 2 1/2 year battle with cancer. Before she died, she wrote a post (find it here) for the “Changed Lives” series. One thing she wrote really struck me while I was in the midst of my battle with fear–

“Then one day while pondering all this, I started asking myself, “Do I really believe God is Who He says He is”? I grew up in a Christian home singing the hymns of the faith, hearing the Word preached, memorizing Scripture, and hearing of other fellow believers’ experiences of God working in their lives and carrying them through life’s storms. But now that I was put into this position, what was going to be my anchor? Do I really believe God about His character, His promises?

Then and there is when I made up my mind that I do believe God, and Who He claims to be in His Word. That is when I found peace, His peace the passes all our understanding! And along with that came the deep seated joy!”

Becky lived out this peace and joy. Oh, she had moments of doubt and fear. Life wasn’t perfect. But when I’d visit with her, I’d come away encouraged by her love for the Lord and her trust in Him, in spite of all of the hardness life sent her way during that time. There was genuineness to her joy that only God could have given. There is no other possible way.

As I thought of what she wrote, it became clear to me that Becky had to make a choice. She had to make a choice that went beyond what she felt about her circumstances.

We are called to do the same.

Satan would like nothing more than for us to be imprisoned by fear or anger or a desire for pleasure. He wants us clad in iron chains or to be so far down in a dark, miry pit that we are rendered ineffectual for Christ. And it’s easy to land there if we are controlled by our feelings. The power that sin and Satan have in our lives is directly correlated to the power we give to our feelings.

I am not sure that we can ever master control over our feelings on this side of heaven. In fact, I’m sure we can’t. But we can certainly make progress.

However, first, we need to be aware that we are doing it. I believe living by how we feel has been so thoroughly ingrained in us, so consistently lived out by those around us, so pushed in the media and entertainment worlds, that we may not be aware that this is a problem.

Feelings change. But the Word of God never changes. Feelings lie and deceive. But God’s Word is Truth. Feelings often lead us in the wrong direction. Scripture always leads us the right way.

May we think through our lives and reflect on what our many choices each day are based on. Are they based on the truths and commands and promises found in scripture? Or are they based on how we happen to feel at the time?

 

A Quick Update

10 Comments / October 8, 2019

Good morning! I won’t be writing a regular post this morning but, instead, wanted to fill you in a bit on what’s happening with me. My next four to six weeks are extremely busy. Let’s just say between the extra work load at the office we are experiencing currently as we prepare for Christmas decor and snow removal and with several added and unexpected things thrown in there, I am more than a little overwhelmed.

With that being said, I am not sure how much I’ll be around until mid-November. I may be able to get a post off at the end of the month, but we shall see.

I did want to let you know that one of my dear friends is coming to take my spot in the office of our landscaping business at the end of the month. It was just so amazing how God worked it all out. Of course, we still need to make sure she actually likes the job, but we are both very hopeful it will be a good fit.

I wanted to personally thank those of you who have prayed for me with all of the changes this year and who have prayed along with us for just the right person to fill that spot. I know a few of you have been faithfully praying and I am so grateful. God has been so good through the whole year, showing Himself so faithful and teaching me so much.

Looking back over this past year, I can truly see His hand working it all out in the way it needed to be. As one of the owners, I really needed to be in the office, familiarizing myself with the new program. And, while I don’t love billing and invoicing (my responsibilities this past year), I did love working with our office staff. They are a fun group of people that loves the Lord and it’s a great environment. While I won’t miss the job, per se, I will miss working with them.

Through it all, God has even provided an opportunity for me to speak at an upcoming national Landscape Technology conference. (This is taking me wayyyy out of my comfort zone and sometimes I am not sure I should have said yes! While I love speaking opportunities with Christian ladies, this will be a completely new thing.) But I can see how this door was opened for me and I am hoping I have some real opportunities to be a light for Christ and to share the Gospel while I’m there. If you regularly pray for me, you can add this to the list. It’s in February.

As I think about not having to be over in the office three days a week, my thoughts have been turning in my head about what’s next. I have had several ideas and plan to introduce anything new to my subscribers first before making it public via social media. If you’d like to stay in the loop of what’s happening with Growing4Life, this would be a great time to subscribe to the blog (if you haven’t already). It’s super easy to do and you will find the sign-up box in the upper right, immediately below the photo of the Bible.

One thing that has really hit me as I have been thinking about all of this is that the time is so short. How can I best make an impact for God’s Kingdom with whatever time is left? This is the question that needs to be answered.

While I sort through all of those ideas, I do have a few things that are already in the works–

I plan to once again offer a Bible Challenge. The 2020 Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge will be a bit different next year and I am super excited about it. Stay posted for details on that.

And I am thinking about doing a Christmas story again this year. I do love writing fiction and really enjoy this little taste of it that I get each year.

 

So, that’s a little about what’s going on here. Thanks, as always, for reading. So many of you are such an encouragement to me and I appreciate you taking your precious time to read what I write. I don’t take that for granted. I know there are lots of things to read out there and it’s no easy task to sort through all of that and decide what you will actually spend your time reading.

So thank you! And have a great day! :)

 

What I Learned from Jury Duty

10 Comments / February 11, 2019

A few months ago I got the letter. I was called to serve the county as a juror by showing up at the Courthouse at 8:15am on Monday, February 4, 2019.

I sighed. Jury duty is such an unknown. Will it be for one day or will it be for two weeks? It had been quite a few years since I had been called and my memory was not serving me well. I really didn’t know what to expect.

But whatever I did expect was nothing like what actually happened–to say the least. But we will get to that.

A month or so after that first letter, I received another letter. “You do not need to come for jury duty until Thursday, February 7, 2019.” I was so excited. I didn’t know why they changed it, but that meant I got half of my week back. I thanked the Lord and prepared to go on Thursday.

Going into a room of strangers and having to come to a consensus on a decision with them is not my idea of a fun time so I really wasn’t looking all that forward to this. But Thursday came and off I went to the County Courthouse to do my civic duty.

Here are a few things I learned that day–

1. I can live without my cell phone for a whole day. The first thing I saw when I arrived was a sign that said “Absolutely no cell phones on Floor___”. Ughhh. Now the day was going to be realllly long. I traipsed back to the car and said good-bye to my connection to the outside world.

After it was all over I realized that, not only did I survive a whole day without my cell phone, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. There is something extremely freeing about being without it. I do appreciate my phone and the communication it allows me with family and friends near and far, but to take a break for an hour or two or eight is definitely not a bad thing. It is truly amazing how your concentration level deepens without that thing calling your name all the time.

As I headed back to enter the building, I ended up behind two twenty-something girls yacking away. They lead me to my second lesson…

2. Give yourself plenty of time. I thought I had left in plenty of time (and I did) but I did not plan on a) having to park so far away, b) having to walk back to the car parked so far away to put my phone in it and then walk back to the building or c) having two girls ahead of me that took–literally–5-7 minutes (or more?) to get through the security at the Courthouse.

There were two rather elderly people manning the security and, although friendly enough, they moved about as fast as molasses in the winter. They pulled things out of purses, requested the girls remove their cigarettes from their jacket pockets and a few other various items; unhurriedly putting some of the unapproved items in plastic bags and tagging them for pick-up on their way out. It felt like an eternity. At this point, I am noticing that I am the only one in line behind them. All the other jurors must already be in place. I had no clock but I knew time was ticking away. When I finally rushed upstairs, I found my room and hesitantly entered, expecting to be greatly frowned upon for my tardiness. It was then that I learned another lesson…

3. Friendliness goes a very, very long way in setting people at ease. I walked in the door to receive a big smile from the lady there. “Hello, can I have your name?” She kindly joked and made conversation with all of us sitting there so stiffly and, in so doing, washed away a great deal of the nervousness most of us were experiencing. I knew the importance of friendliness before that day but it was a definite reminder that this goes a long way to make people feel at ease and cared about.

And, as believers, who should be more kind, thoughtful, and generous than we? It always greatly pains me to hear that so many in the world view Christians as unfriendly, stingy, and mean because of how some Christians act. How tragic! Today, let’s determine to be friendly to that mom in the store with the screaming toddler or to the grumpy store clerk. Let’s be extra-kind to the irritating co-worker or the mean neighbor. Let’s give a decent tip to that waitress who works hard for a low wage, depending on tips to make a decent living. And–perhaps the hardest thing of all–let’s treat our families with kindness and courtesy. Let’s not be one thing when we are out and another when we are at home. A real challenge, for sure, and one I am sure we all need to work on, but so very important. But I digress…

Anyway–

As we all sat there, the judge came in and told us that we would be serving as jury on a civil trial and it was a bit different than normal. Along with this information, he assured us that we would only be there for one day. I thanked the Lord right there and then (silently, of course!) I was just so relieved. And then the judge started asking a few questions. Does anyone know anyone related to the case? Did they ever hear of this case? A few raised their hands and were excused to leave. That left twenty of us. We walked into the courtroom to take some questions from the lawyers. After they had asked us questions, a few more were excused to leave. That left fourteen. At that point, the judge asked us if any of us would like to be excused due to personal convenience or schedule. (I mean..yeah…I wanted to go home, but I didn’t really have a pressing reason…) None of us raised our hands. “Okay, then we will just have fourteen on this jury. Let’s just pull up two more chairs.” Uhhhh….what..??

Which leads me to my next lesson…

4. When your mind raises a question it is probably for a reason. It was around this time that my mind started to turn. Either things had drastically changed since I was here the last time or there was something unusual about this case. It just didn’t seem quite right. I think this is often how God gets our attention about a false teacher or teaching. Our mind raises a question but we squish it down. Instead of researching and looking for the truth, we just ignore it and hope it will go away. Unfortunately, those questions often do go away, and in that process, our discernment muscle becomes weak and useless.

Okay, so back to the story…

Without giving too many details, the case was one where all fourteen of us had to come up with a single amount of money to award the plaintiff.

We spent the entire morning listening to both sides and then it was lunchtime. They brought us subs which we ate in the actual courtroom while we deliberated and tried to come to an agreement. We had about an hour and ten minutes to agree on an amount. Thankfully, in civil cases, you only need a majority. We needed 12 of us to agree. Doesn’t seem too terribly hard, right? Which leads me to my next lesson…

5. Every single person is remarkably different with greatly varying life experiences. Again–I knew this. Very well. But I was reminded of this as recommendations were hundreds of thousand dollars apart and consisted of everything in between. That was because everyone came at it from different perspectives. We finally were able to get nine of us to agree. But there were five more who wouldn’t budge. They felt very strongly and they refused to move even an inch. I started to realize that we would probably be there for most of the day and great frustration started to settle into my heart. It was just about that time I learned another lesson…

6. Just when you are ready to give up hope, there is light. Oh, this doesn’t always happen, of course, but, eventually, there is a little light or a silver lining or a bright spot that helps carry us on in a hard time. In this particular case, just when we were ready to throw our hands up in despair at ever agreeing, the judge came in and told us we don’t have all day (?? Another indication that this was not a normal trial!) and that we should all fill out these little pieces of paper with our juror number and the amount we thought should be given. I wrote down what I truly believed was the right thing to write down and I thought that was that…

However, I had one more important lesson to learn…

7. Be ready to defend your answer. Would I have written down the same answer if I knew I was going to have to give my reasons for writing it? I think I would have because I believed it to be the best answer, but I would have definitely thought twice.

But let me back up for a moment. We filled out our little papers and went back to our seats in the jury box. Those involved in the case gathered back into the courtroom. And then the judge proceeded to read each juror number and their answer.

It was around that time that the judge finally filled us in on what was going on. It was a new-ish thing to do–at least in our county–and had only been done a few times before. I am not sure of the real title of it, but it was like a “mediation trial.” They had gathered a jury to hear the case and to give their opinions, in order to give both sides a “reality check”, as the judge called it.

It is actually a fantastic idea. Instead of taking three to five days to listen to testimonies of doctors, police officers, and others involved (along with wasting hours of time and thousands of dollars) we listened to one testimony and saw two PowerPoint presentations. From this we made our decisions and these decisions were read by the judge. He was going to then take both parties, now that they had heard realistic settlement amounts, and try to come to some kind of settlement with them. It was a rather old case and I think all parties involved were ready to wrap it up.

After he had explained this to us, he did something else very unusual. He allowed the lawyers to ask the jurors questions. He even asked us one or two himself. It was completely unexpected but also very interesting. It was at this time that I was asked why I had written the specific amount that I had. I had to explain why I had written what I had written. I did feel like I gave a decent answer and I do hope they found it helpful.

But this made me think of how often we say or do things without being able or ready to give a defense. Especially as believers we should be able to take people to the Word and explain. It reminds me of I Peter 3:15–

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;

Yes! I was caught off-guard and had to defend my answer. So, too, we may be caught off-guard as believers. It is so very important that we know why we believe what we believe, so that we are ready to give an answer at all times.

And, there you have it. An unusual day in the life of me. Thankfully, before we were excused the judge told us that this did count as official jury duty and we wouldn’t be called for another three years. Whew!

 

It’s Just a Car

7 Comments / August 9, 2018

The other night we arrived to set up a booth for our company at a local community fair just as it began to rain. The sky had looked threatening on our drive there, but little did we know what those clouds held. We were no sooner under the tent when rain began to pour out of the sky. Not drop, not shower, not stream, but pour.

As we stood there under our {aluminum} tents watching the rain, the storm that was bringing it drew closer and closer. Until suddenly it was right over us. Lightening with incredibly loud, cracking thunder immediately following. No counting the seconds in between to see how many miles away it was because there were no seconds to count!

At that point, I decided to take the short run to my car and wait there. Aluminum or no aluminum, I was going to get in my car. So I ran over and hopped in the passenger’s side to wait it out. I had no sooner closed the car door when I saw something flying towards my window. Someone else’s tent, complete with metal poles, had lifted in the wind and was attacking my car.

My daughter had seen it all happen and, as she opened the door to wait with me, she said, “Mom, you do not want to see what that just did to your car.”

It was raining too hard to even look at it, so I took the next few minutes to sit in the car and reflect on the unseen scratch. This car was purchased only a few months ago with no dents or scratches. It wasn’t new but it was new for me. Of all the cars we have ever owned, this one is my favorite.

But it is just a car.

I thought of those people who are impaled by umbrellas on a windy day at the beach. Could I have been hurt by that tent? Not impaled, but perhaps hurt. I missed that flying tent by just a few seconds. Literally. None of the many people huddling under tents at that fair had been struck by lightening or had been hurt in that frightening storm. There were just so many things so much more important than my car.

As disappointment washed through me, thanksgiving for God’s physical protection came along with it. So, too, did the realization of how minor this really was. I have some friends and family members going through some really serious trials right now and remembering them shrank the car incident into barely nothing.

Funny how perspective can do that for you.

No deep spiritual lesson today–only a reminder to “not sweat the small stuff”.

It is so easy for us to get so riled up about the stuff that doesn’t matter. And, normally, I would have a tendency to do that, but, oh, how things change when trials abound that are so much bigger and of so much more eternal weight.

Our goal should be to keep perspective even when we don’t have that comparison. To not sweat the small stuff, even when all seems right with our world.

No easy task, of course. But it sure does make life more enjoyable, doesn’t it? And, more importantly, these small annoyances and frustrations are good practice for us in learning to submit to God’s sovereign will and to maintain our testimony when things don’t go the way we planned.

As I climbed out of the car, I hesitantly turned and looked at that scratch. My daughter was right–it was pretty bad. I wondered how long it would take to get on the schedule for repair and also about who would pay for it. But, lo and behold, God had a great surprise in store for me!

The owner of the tent that hit the car? It was our mechanic. Of all things, it belonged to our mechanic. And they are fixing the car at their cost this weekend. I am still marveling about that one.

 

 

Scroll to Top