Christian Living

The Temptation for the Writer (and for the rest of us, too)

5 Comments / October 8, 2024

There is a temptation to anyone who writes that is hard to put into words but it exists nonetheless. It is the temptation to write what people want to read. We want to write that viral post or that next great bestseller. Whether it be fiction or non-fiction, we all desire to be liked and to have lots of readers/followers. By default, we writers (and any other content creator or social media influencer) almost always fall to this temptation as it is the amount of readers and followers that [supposedly] gives us validity.

And so it is a very conscious decision when a Christian writer (or content creator/social media influencer) chooses to share some truth from scripture that they know will not be popular or very well received.

As I have blogged here over these past fourteen years, it has continued to be my desire, above all, to write what I believe scripture teaches. But, as the years have passed by, I can see that interest in this is growing less and less popular. The average Christian seems to gravitate toward only two types of content: 1) Content that brings encouragement and warm, fuzzy feelings and 2) content that is new or sensational.

And so, I have had to ask myself many times– over the recent years especially– am I doing the right thing? Should I be focused on only encouraging believers? Should I try to be more creative in what I write here?

In the end, I keep coming back to the same conclusion: I write for God and not for my readers. And, while, of course, I really do write for you as I write for God, my goal cannot be to make you happy, to gather the greatest number of readers, or to agonize over whether or not what I write will be popular.

But this can be discouraging in a world that seems to only give validity and the label “successful” to the one who is popular and well-liked. Every so often, I pour out my heart to the Lord and He always reminds me: Seek ye first the Kingdom of God... (Matthew 6:33)

The Bible isn’t all warm, fuzzy feelings and sensational. While those two things are nice and they are both part of scripture at some places, much of scripture is about knowing God and understanding what He desires of those He has redeemed…things like holiness, purity, and turning from sin and the world. Never popular topics.

But this is not only about the writer or content creator. This is about you, too. I’d rather guess that you also face the same temptation to not speak or share on certain topics with your family, friends, and co-workers because of the reaction you will get. Popularity is not generally going to characterize the life of the believer who speaks the whole counsel of God rather than just the pleasant or good stuff.

However, as believers, we are to be sharing the truth of scripture–the whole truth and not just the good parts–because partial truth leads to lies.

For example, the good news of Jesus dying on the cross is inoffensive and impotent unless we understand the unpleasant truth that we are without any good; that we are lost and hopeless sinners and that Jesus Christ died so that we can be reconciled to God. “Accepting Christ” so that we have a better life, to find purpose, or to have a fulfilled dreams is NOT salvation but, in fact, is a damning heresy. We must speak the whole truth.

Thankfully, we are not responsible for someone’s response. This was a real relief when I finally realized this. It means we can lay our written and spoken words on the altar before God and let Him do what He will with them.

And, while we should always be examining ourselves to make sure we are speaking truth in love, “being popular” can never be the measuring stick to determine this (John 15:18-19) and, in fact, this may be a sign that we aren’t speaking the whole truth, as we should be (James 4:4; I John 2:15-16).

It is so important that we believers take time once in a while to evaluate and examine our testimony among others as we live each day and encounter the many different people that God brings into each of our lives. Do we only speak what we know will be well-received? Do we try to avoid ridicule or antagonism? Does our desire to be well-liked supersede our desire to please the Lord?

We need to remind ourselves that, if we claim to love Christ, our priorities are no longer what they were. We are new creatures living a new life. Old things have passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17) Instead, our desire should be to seek God first and His righteousness. This will be a lifelong pursuit that will serve to keep our priorities in order, whatever the Lord has given us to do and wherever He has placed us. May we live for His honor and glory alone!

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

The Buzzy Bothersome Fly

2 Comments / October 1, 2024

The fly was one of those kinds of flies. You know the kind with the extremely loud buzz that seems extra agitated and can’t sit for more than a second?

This is what greeted me the other morning as I sat down for my quiet time in our sun room. I debated for a second. Should I get a fly swatter? But it was so very agitated that it would be impossible to find it, much less swat it.

I sat down to see what would happen. The buzzing could be heard from across the room. It was so loud and distracting. It would move closer and closer to my head and then off it would go again. At one point, I did grab the fly swatter but it moved way too fast and just wouldn’t land.

So I sat down again. And tried to focus on my Bible.

Eventually, it either landed somewhere or flew to a different room because I noticed that it was finally quiet. I have no idea what happened to it. I never saw it again.

Distractions that come at us on a daily basis are a little like that buzzy bothersome fly, aren’t they?

They buzz around us loudly, demanding our attention. You can almost hear them saying, “chase after me…”

They keep us from prayer, from meditating and studying scripture, and from doing the good works the Lord has planned for us, such as caring for our families as we should or acts of loving service to others. Always insisting that they are more important, these buzzing flies have our full attention for far too long before we even realize what happened.

These flies can come in the shape of emails, social media, and news. They are things like entertainment, hobbies, sports, or overcommitment. Sometimes the “flies” are not bad things but they keep us from the best things.

For me, personally, my greatest buzzy bothersome fly is my phone. This small device demands my attention even when I am with people I love. I see other people who may suffer from this same distraction, as well. They hold the device when they are with family or friends, staring intently at it.

I wonder why do I do this? Why do I care about anything on my phone when I am with someone I love? And why does it call my name when I am spending time with my Lord?

Be rest assured that I am writing this with myself in mind. I am not judging anyone else. You may have a good reason that your phone is demanding your attention that no one else knows. This is a really personal thing because, generally, no one knows why the screen we are staring at is so important to us at that moment. Only we can examine our phone usage (particularly during our Bible study/prayer times or in the presence of others) and determine if it is unnecessary or even rude. But I believe it’s a pretty important question for many of us. One that needs an honest answer.

I think there is a good explanation for this innate drive to stare at this powerful object (and an intentional, very evil purpose) behind it all but that is not the purpose of this post.

No, the purpose of this post is to encourage us all (myself included) to examine what is distracting us from our best, most God-honoring life? And then to intentionally go about changing it, with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Consider for a moment, if you will, a stick in a fast-flowing stream. What will keep that stick from flowing downstream? Nothing can or will unless someone intentionally picks it up from the stream and removes it.

We are like that stick in a stream that is quickly flowing away from growing in godliness and moving us towards a status quo, ineffective life. Our lives will not change unless we decide to intentionally change it. Yes, true and lasting change is impossible without the Holy Spirit, Who is there to give us the strength and help we need. But we need to remember that He’s not going to just swoop in and change us without any effort on our part (see verses below).

Effort is hard and some of us just feel…unmotivated. But may we not be so unmotivated that we stop living with intention. Even little changes can reap big benefits. What is one change we can make today that will start us moving in the right direction?

Our intentional efforts, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to be conformed to the image of Christ and to not be conformed to this world will shine the light of the Gospel into this dark, weary world. And it will encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ, reminding them that He does have the power to change those who want to be changed.

But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. (2 Thess. 3:13)

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12-13)

The Crunchy Grass (with a personal note at the end)

2 Comments / September 23, 2024

I walked across my yard the other day and heard the grass crunch beneath my feet. At the time, there was no rain in sight and we had missed what they were calling for the week before. The grass was brown and dry and, yes, crunchy. It desperately needed water.

Unlike thick green grass, which is plush and inviting, this grass looked ugly and felt very unpleasant to walk on or sit on.

As I took another step and heard another crunch, I had the thought that our spiritual walk is just like this when we are not consuming the water of the Word.

You see, the grass just needs some water. And, in fact, on Saturday night we had 3/4” of rain and it is amazing how quickly it is turning green and soft again.

We believers are no different. Have you noticed how quickly you are to be selfish, indulgent, angry, proud, or give in to the flesh in any other way when you aren’t in the Bible and meditating upon it?

I certainly have. It feels like fighting the flesh is so hard. And, in fact, if I am not in scripture, I may even forget to care! I become dry and dull and unpleasant. Oh, we may give the appearance of being lush and green, for that’s what hypocrites do. But, inside, we feel spiritually barren.

Grass needs the rain to thrive and Christians need the Word.

There is no other way. Going to church may be helpful, as may listening to sermons or reading a good book that points you to the truth. Spiritual discussions with friends can help as you practice “iron sharpening iron” as the book of Psalms says. But there is no replacement for reading and studying the Word on your own, in context.

I know I have mentioned this so often, but I learned this way too late in my life. The first forty plus years of my life were spent listening to “Christian” radio shows, reading devotionals (one verse and commentary about the verse), and trying to stay away from the “worst” in the world, while indulging in the things that weren’t “so bad”. This method of Christian living left me dry and dusty and I didn’t even realize it.

But when I began to very intentionally study the Bible and then, later on, began to memorize verses and passages, it all changed. God has provided a very simple way for us to be vibrant and growing believers and it took me far too long to find it.

And while I’d like to say I have achieved perfection in this area it’s obvious to those who know me that I certainly have not. Even green grass has its issues, doesn’t it? There can be insects or disease in even the most beautiful grass. Just as this green grass can struggle, so, too, can a vibrant growing Christian. Our problems and temptations do not disappear when we start reading the Word.

But I will testify that our ability to wage war against sin and to recognize lies changes. The length of time it takes to surrender to the Lord and His will shortens. Studying God’s Word and filling our mind with His promises and desires for us as believers sanctifies and grows us.

But we have to actually pick up the Word and read and study it. If you can read this, you can do this. I am nothing special. God, in His awesome grace and lovingkindness, led me to study His Word and to understand its importance. This has become my main focus here at Growing4Life…to encourage other believers to do the same. God has given me this platform and I believe this is why.

Of course, it is probably good to remind you here that I still have my “crunchy” days (and even weeks). Recognizing this truth doesn’t automatically mean you are eternally green, unfortunately. But recognizing this truth does help you know where to intentionally turn when you find yourself in that state again. Just as the water so quickly revives the grass, so, we, too, are quickly revived when we start watering our soul with the Word once again.

I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know if you are dry and crunchy both inside and out. I don’t know if you are pretending to be lush and green, all the while knowing, deep down inside, that you are faking it. What I do know, however, is how to fix the barren, discouraging state of your heart.

And that is to get in the Word and really spend time there. God has graciously provided His Word to exhort and encourage us. It is only through His Word that we can grow and thrive in our Christian walk. Oh, may we believers recognize the wonderful and never-ending treasure within the pages of scripture!

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

A Personal Note: Over the course of studying Revelation and through various other means, I have been vividly reminded of the truth of what lies ahead, both temporally and eternally, for those who do not trust in Christ for their salvation. One day, perhaps very soon, we will not be here to tell our unsaved family and friends about the Gospel or help them understand what is coming on this world. They will be bewildered at our disappearance and will be susceptible to many lies at that point.

It is with this in mind, that I have created a “To Those Who Are Left Behind” page here at the blog. You can find it here and I have also included it in the menu above. I have no idea if it will be of use to anyone now or in the future, but, for some reason, I felt compelled to do this. The world waxes worse and worse in every way and I just don’t know how long we are going to be here. Jesus could come tomorrow or perhaps not for ten years but, whenever it is, I wanted to have something up on the blog for those who are left behind when it happens.

What Does My Heart Treasure?

1 Comment / August 13, 2024

The events of the current day are bringing out interesting responses in all of us who would call ourselves “Christians”. We say we believe and trust God’s Word, but do we, really? What are our hearts really treasuring?

Some of us get caught up in the “news”. We see the inconsistencies, the lies, the web of deceit and we move our whole attention to what is going on in the world. Even if we are doing this in light of what scripture prophesies about the future, it is not a good or spiritually healthy idea at all to spend all of our time focused on this world.

Some of us are getting caught up in fixing and changing what is wrong. Whether it be to “make America great again” or some other temporal problem of this world; we are caught up in fixing this world. Also not good and very detrimental to our spiritual health.

In some, the current events reveal fear and anxiety that was hidden in the heart. In others, it reveals selfishness or self-centeredness. In some it brings on an obsession with the things of this life. And yet in others, it brings out the desire to escape and distract oneself from reality through all sorts of means.

No matter what is happening in our own hearts, I think it’s fair to say that we have all had our responses to the Current Events of the last few years. And, if you are like me, you have had to work through the things you see in your own heart that you didn’t even know were there.

And it really all comes down to this: What does my heart treasure? What really matters to me?

We can say we love God and that we are focused on the eternal. But until uncertainty and unsettledness hits us personally, we don’t really know if that’s true.

Honestly, while I don’t love all of the changes and uncertainty, I am thankful that the events of these past few years have revealed the state of my own heart and have caused me to really evaluate myself. And, while I certainly haven’t gotten to a place where I can say to you as Paul said to his readers “follow me as I follow Christ”, I have seen Christ work in me.

May God give us the desire to do what’s right.

May He help us in our unbelief.

May He give us the strength and fortitude to follow Christ and do what’s right, no matter the cost.

May He help us to discern what is TRUE.

And may He help us to set our affections on our treasure above, rather than on the things of the earth.

We just can’t fix what is wrong with our hearts, discern what is right and true, or remember where our treasure really lies without Him.

We just can’t do this alone.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

Finding Perspective

4 Comments / June 11, 2024

We were at the Outer Banks for a little anniversary getaway last week. Just my husband and me. We had planned to go away last year for our 35th wedding anniversary but life got in the way. As it often does. (Our anniversary is not until August. Last week was just when we could make the time to get away for a few days.)

While we were vacationing last week, we ran into people from all over the United States and from the rest of the world, who come there to work for the summer, some who end up staying there to live.

I will often start a conversation with waiters and store clerks just to be friendly. And so I will ask just basic questions…questions like “how do you enjoy the weather here at the Outer Banks?” I found this particular question to be quite dependent upon where the person had come from. For example, one young lady from Ohio thought it was so warm there as compared to her native state. But the young woman from Jamaica thought it was so cold! Depending upon where they were coming from was what determined their answer to this particular question.

How true is this for each of us? What looks hard or difficult to some, looks like a “cakewalk” to others. For example, a few weeks ago when I flew to Texas by myself to visit my daughter and her family I had all sorts of troubles and trials in getting there and in coming back. To someone who flies regularly, I am sure they would just consider this par for the course. But to myself, unfamiliar with airports and already a bit on edge when I fly, it was quite difficult and I found myself almost in tears a time or two (I will add that I now know that I can fly by myself even if things don’t go as planned, knowing that God will shed His mercy on me even if my plans go all to shreds. As He showed me in amazing ways even on that journey. Such small things…and yet so big…!)

A few weeks ago, we found out that one of our closest friends has stage four cancer. The wife of the couple has been one of my best friends since we were in 5th grade. We are devastated for them and for ourselves. They know the Lord and He is sustaining them, but as many of you already know…the journey they are on is not an easy one. We love them both so much and we are still reeling from shock. But we recognize that we are hurting for our friends. My friend is hurting for her husband. Her husband is hurting for his beloved family. (Please do pray for them. I won’t share their names for privacy’s sake but God knows who they are…)

It has been challenging to process any of our own trials these past few weeks as we recognize the depth of theirs. And we’ve had quite a few. Some minor, others not as minor. But still not-so-big comparatively. What had looked big doesn’t look as big anymore. And, yet, they still need to be gone through. The illnesses, the infections, the aches and pains, the surgeries and the recoveries, the ridicule and antagonism that comes when we wholeheartedly follow the Lord, the loss of those we love, the very real grief that comes with life changes, the challenges that naturally come with marriage, having kids, and growing older.

I’d like to add here that I’ve been so grateful for our friends’ trust in God during their journey. Her kindness in praying for me with some of my own little trials amidst her great one has been a source of great encouragement to me. I know God is sustaining them as they travel this road through the many prayers that are being lifted for them. They are reminding both my husband and me that God’s promises are very real.

But back to the subject at hand…how we face trials can be so much about our perspective. What may look huge to us can morph into not-so-huge, depending on what else is going on in our lives. But, no matter what trials and troubles we are facing, whether big or small, they tell us so much about ourselves, don’t they?

If you subscribe to the blog and read the personal letter I sent out a few weeks ago (not posted publicly), then you will know that I intentionally took a break from writing these past few weeks. I have been so emotionally drained. I didn’t even feel like writing. Plus I didn’t really have time to write, either. Lots has been going on and it was best to just step back for a bit.

I shared on the Growing4Life Facebook page a week or so ago that my brother mentioned in a sermon how a lake can be clear blue on a still sunny day. But when the storm comes, the mud from the bottom comes swirling up and the water becomes a muddy mess. He compared this to what happens to us in trials. We can look like “pretty good” Christians but then the trials come and sins we thought we had victory over come roaring back or perhaps new sins beckon to us.

This is one of the things that has been so difficult for me specifically this past month or two (and maybe the past year) was recognizing how much sin is still in my heart as I have faced certain trials. Particularly the sins of worry and anxiety. Do I trust God or don’t I? Surely, I’ve come further than this? But no, no, I had to face the reality that I haven’t. It has been both discouraging and disappointing.

As I have struggled through this, I found myself feeling utterly unqualified to continue writing here or anywhere. My goodness, if I still struggle so, surely I have no business writing about God and His Word.

But one of the things God has been reminding me of during this time is that it’s not about me. If it was, I would have had to quit writing years ago. Or probably never even started. For I am an undeserving sinner who has been saved by God’s grace alone through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. I will never merit God’s favor. I have nothing good to offer. Jesus Christ is my only righteousness.

And so I don’t write because I’ve reached any kind of perfection or some spiritual “level”. For I am utterly hopeless this side of glory. I write because I want to point you (and myself) to God and to His Word, where we find not only His commands but also His abundant promises, given to those that love Him and want to please Him. I will keep singing my God’s praises and declaring the truth of His Word because I believe with my whole heart that it is our perfect and only anchor for the Christian life.

And so, though life hasn’t been as carefree as usual (and could continue in this way), I do find myself grateful that God has reminded me how much I need Him over these past few weeks. I am so thankful for the many mercies He has poured upon my life, the examples of strong Christian faith that He has given to me in believers around me, and the many encouraging words and prayers on my behalf (which include many from you, my readers. Your kind emails in response to my personal letter meant more to me than you can imagine).

As we all continue on as pilgrims traveling in a foreign land–some facing tremendous trials right now and others small ones (but perhaps numerous)– may we trust the Lord who loves us and cares for us, may we live for His glory, and may we take just one hour at a time, knowing that God’s great grace and mercy will lead us all the way.

Please Note: What I have shared here today is very personal. Perhaps too personal. It makes me feel very vulnerable. If this has encouraged you, I hope you will let me know because it is extremely disconcerting when I put myself “out on a limb” (so to speak) and there is little response.

I also want to be clear that I am not complaining about this season of life. We all walk through different seasons. And I have talked to so many that are going through similar seasons. Or much worse. This is not about me nor is it to draw attention to myself. As always, I just like to share what God is teaching me in different seasons of my life. And to remind us all that God is faithful in all our seasons.

The Tangled Mess

Leave a Comment / May 7, 2024

I was crocheting a blanket and the time had come to use a new color. I grabbed the end from the center of the bright yellow ball of yarn. Things went fine…for awhile. But soon I found that every time I’d try to pull the yarn it would inevitably get tangled with the other end. Somehow the two ends were both coming from inside the skein (usually one is wrapped around the outside) and it was taking a lot of the joy out of my relaxing hobby.

I finally cut the yarn end from the project and decided to roll the skein into a ball. That should make it much easier to work with. But rolling it into a ball was no easy task. It was the strangest thing. While I would occasionally be able to roll up a long piece of the yellow yarn, I would soon find myself foiled by that aggravating end over and over again. The two ends were so entwined with one another that even rolling it into a ball was a difficult task that took much time. I did contemplate just buying another skein but here was this perfectly fine yarn in front of me. How silly to purchase more! At this point, it was the principle! I worked on it for several hours but finally, late last night, I groaned with frustration.

“What’s wrong?” asked my husband. I held up my yarn and told him how frustrating this task was. Never one to back down from a challenge, he told me to let him try. I most gladly handed the whole tangled mess over to him.

In a few minutes, he, too, agreed that it was an impossible task. The yarn was so snarled that it hardly seemed worth it. He did work on it for a while, making the ball of yarn a bit bigger. But, finally, he gave it to me and asked if I thought this was good enough. You can see from the photo above that there is quite a bit of yarn left but…well, life is just too short for some things!

As I sat there rolling that yarn, I did a lot of thinking. The whole situation reminded me an awful lot of life and our attempts at creating something useful and beautiful from an unorganized, sinful mess. The end that kept getting in my way and causing all of the problem was like my sin. Just always there, tripping me up, making life harder. Once in awhile, I would grab one of my needles to help me with an especially difficult knot. This reminded me of the living Word of God that pierces between joint and marrow and is a discerner of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). What my own fingers found as an impossible task, the needle not only made possible but even rather easy.

After I had given up, I realized that the tangled skein of yarn is like my life without Christ. I can work and work and work at it on my own and, perhaps, even have a time of smooth sailing and even be able to make some positive life changes. But without Christ, it is all in naught and I will eventually be beaten by my sin. If not in life, then in death. Sin will win, if Christ isn’t called upon.

The yarn also reminded me of how lost I would be without the Bible, which was given as a gift by God to us, His people. For where else do we learn of Who Christ is? Of what sin is? Where do we find true comfort? Just as my fingers couldn’t undo many of those knots in the yarn, so, too, our human vain philosophies and theories can’t provide any help in the midst of the temptations and trials we face. I needed that needle and we need the Word of God.

Lastly, I was reminded of how much sin gets in my way. Oh, how those sins we wrongly call “minor” knot up our lives. Sins like complaining; self-pity; being offended; loving the world and the things of this world; striving for popularity or wealth or health more than we are striving to grow in Christ; and so many others. They all keep us from being who we have been called to be by God. Denying self and its lusts, we must take up our cross and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23) All too often, we want to indulge self rather than deny it and this has its consequences in our lives.

I can walk away from that bright yellow ball of yarn. But I can’t walk away from my life. Because I am human, I will always struggle with sin, with wanting to love the world, and with a life that is messy and tangled, at some level. But intentionally confessing my sin, turning from the world, and working, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to be more Christlike and holy each and every day will yield much fruit in my spiritual life.

The other day I was talking with someone about how hard it is to follow the truth of God’s Word–all of it, not just the easy, comforting parts. The Bible tells us things our flesh doesn’t like–such as asking us to not be a friend of the world, denying self, and calling us to be holy and separated as a people. It reminds us to expect suffering for our choice to live for Christ. And while submitting and obeying God’s Word may lead to a more difficult outward life (the ridicule and persecution is real)–our ball of yarn (our inward life) unwinds so much more smoothly and easily. God really does keep His promises and those who follow His truth–all of it and no matter the cost–will find that the blessings that come from that are worth the ridicule, the suffering, and the persecution. God truly does bless those who seek Him.

Who knew unraveling a ball of yarn could be so thought-provoking?

How to Respond When We are Hurt or Offended

Leave a Comment / March 19, 2024

As we walk in this world as a believer who is committed to Jesus Christ and desires to follow Him, no matter the cost, we will inevitably be persecuted at some level. Jesus Himself said that we will be hated because the world hates Him (John 15:18-19). John reminded us of this same truth in I John 3:13: Do not be surprised if the world hates you and I Peter 2 tells us to rejoice if we suffer unjustly.

But sometimes our suffering isn’t for any good reason. Instead, it is our pride that demands revenge or keeps our heart from forgiving another person. We cry out for revenge because our pride desires it in order to be satisfied. (That ugly pride gets us into so much trouble!!!)

A few years back a friend gifted me a book called “Keeping the Heart” by John Flavel. The book itself (which I highly recommend and can be found at this link) has been changed into English that is easier to understand. It is very profound and has caused me much deep reflection.

When I read the portion that I am sharing today, I had the thought that I have not written much about these topics of revenge, vengeance, and grudge-holding. And, yet, they affect the world we live in in a profound (and quite evil) way. Even in our churches. While those who profess Christ may not exert revenge, they may surely long for it. While they may pretend that all is well, inside so many are nursing a grudge or some offense towards a Christian sibling.

I have seen this over and over again and have also experienced it. For example, years ago, I thought all was well with a woman at church. Only to find out, through her off-handed comment to a family member, that she held a longtime grudge against me for a thoughtless remark I had made. I can still remember the helplessness I felt at that moment. I hadn’t even been aware she was upset with me and I certainly had never meant what she thought I meant. It taught me to be so much more careful with my words (still learning that lesson!) and it also reminded me of how unhealthy these grudges are that Christians so often hold on to! They truly destroy families and church families.

With that in mind, I’d like to share a long portion from this book, Keeping of the Heart. I found the original manuscript in pdf form so I did copy and paste. You can find that original manuscript here. (Although I do recommend the book as it is much easier to read.) I have taken the liberty to change a few words to make it more readable. You will find those changed words in italics. I have also removed a few extra paragraphs to also increase its readability and to decrease its length.

I hope this will be a reference for you when you feel the urge to nurse a grudge or something happens to you (whether deserved or undeserved) and you feel the desire for revenge rise inside you. Flavel’s words here are most compelling and helpful. At least they were for me. I hope they are for you, too. Here’s what Flavel writes–

The seventh season calling for more than common diligence to keep the heart, is, when we receive injuries and abuses from men. Such is the depravedness and corruption of man in his collapsed state, that one man is become as a wolf or a tiger, to another. As wicked men are cruel and oppressive one to another, so they conspire together to abuse and wrong the people of God, as the same prophet complains.. “The wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than he.” Now when we are thus abused and wronged, it is hard to keep the heart from revengeful motions: to make it meekly and quietly to commit the cause to him that judgeth righteously; to exercise no other affection but pity towards them that abuse us. Surely the spirit that is in us lusteth to revenge, but it must not be so; you have choice helps in the gospel to keep down your hearts from such sinful motions against your enemies, and to sweeten your embittered spirits.’ The seventh case then shall be this–

How a Christian may keep his heart from revengeful motions, under the greatest injuries and abuses from men. The Gospel, indeed, allows a liberty to vindicate our innocency, and assert our rights, but not to vent our corruptions, and invade God’s right. When therefore thou findest thy heart begin to be inflamed by revengeful motions, presently apply the following remedies—

Remedy 1. Urge upon thy heart the severe prohibitions of revenge by the law of God. Remember that this is forbidden fruit, how pleasant and luscious soever it be to our defiled appetites. O, saith nature, revenge is sweet: O but, saith God, the effects thereof shall be bitter. How plainly hath God commanded against this flesh-pleasing sin, Prov. 20:22. “Say not I will recompense evil.” Prov. 24:29. “Say not I will do so to him as he hath done to me.” Rom. 12:17. “Recompence to no man evil for evil.” And ver. 19. “Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place to wrath.” Nay, that is not all; but Prov. 25:21. “If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink.” The word feed him, as critics observe, signifies to feed cheerfully, and tenderly, as birds do their young ones: The scripture is a great friend to the peace and tranquillity of human society, which can never be preserved if revenge be not deposed. It was wont to be an argument urged by the Christians to prove their religion to be supernatural and pure that forbids revenge, which is so sweet to nature; and verily it is a thousand pities such an argument should be lost. Well, then, awe your hearts with the authority of God in these scriptures, and when carnal reason saith, mine enemy deserves to be hated, let conscience reply, but doth God deserve to be disobeyed? Thus and thus hath he done, and so he hath wronged me; but what hath God done that I should wrong Him? If he dare be so bold to break the peace, shall I be so wicked to break the precept? If he fears not to wrong me, shall not I fear to wrong God? O let the fear of God’s threatenings repress such sinful motions.

Remedy 2. Set before your eyes the most eminent patterns of meekness and forgiveness, that your souls may fall in love with them.
This is the way to cut off those common pleas of the flesh for revenge: As thus no man would bear such an affront: Yes, such and
such have borne as bad and worse. I shall be reckoned a coward, a fool, if I pass by this: No matter, as long as I follow the examples of the wisest and holiest of men; never did any suffer more and greater abuses from men than Christ did, and never did any carry it more peaceably and forgivingly, Isa. 53:7. “He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth: He was brought as a lamb to the slaughter,” This pattern of our Lord the apostle sets before you for your imitation, 1 Pet. 2:21, 22, 23. “For even hereunto are you called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that we should follow His steps: Who when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not, but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously.” To be of a meek, forgiving spirit, is Christ-like, God-like; “then shall you be the children of your Father which is in heaven; for He maketh His sun to rise upon the evil and upon the good, and sendeth rain on the just and unjust,” Matt. 5:45. How eminently also did the Spirit of Christ rest upon His apostles? Never were there such men upon earth for true excellency of spirit. None were ever abused more, or suffered their abuses better. “Being reviled (say they) we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it; being defamed, we entreat,” 1 Cor. 4:12, 13. Strive then for this excellency of spirit, which is the proper excellency of Christians; do some singular thing that others cannot do, and then you will have a testimony in their consciences.


Remedy 3. Consider well the quality of the person that hath wronged thee: either he is a redeemed man, or a wicked man, that hath done thee the injury: If he be a redeemed man, there is light and tenderness in his conscience, and that will bring him at last to a sense of the evil he hath done; however, Christ hath forgiven him greater injuries than these, and why shouldst not thou? Will Christ not upbraid him with any of those wrongs done to him, but frankly forgive them all; and wilt thou take him by the throat for some petty abuse that he hath done to thee? Or is he a wicked man? If so, truly you have more need to exercise pity, than revenge towards him, and that upon a double account: For, (1.) He is beside himself, so indeed is every unconverted sinner, Luke 15:17. Should you go into Bedlam, and there hear one rail at you, another mock you, and a third threaten you; would you say I will be revenged upon them? No, you would rather go away pitying them! Alas, poor creatures! they are out of their wits, and know not what they do. Besides, (2.) There is a day coming, if they repent not, when they will have more misery than you can find in your hearts to wish them; you need not study to revenge, God’s vengeance sleepeth not, and will shortly take place upon them, and is not that enough? Have they not an eternity of misery coming? If they repent not, this must be the portion of their cup; and if ever they do repent, they will be ready to make you reparation.

Remedy 4. Keep down thy heart by this consideration, that by revenge thou canst but satisfy a lust, but by forgiveness thou shalt
conquer a lust. Suppose by revenge thou shouldst destroy one enemy, I will shew thee how, by forgiving, thou shalt conquer three, thine own lust, the devil’s temptation, and thine enemy’s heart; and is not this a more glorious conquest? If by revenge thou overcome thine enemy, yet unhappy victory, when, by overcoming another man, thou art overcome by thine own corruption. But this way you may obtain a glorious conquest indeed. It must be a very disingenuous nature indeed, upon which meekness and forgiveness will not work; a stony heart, which this fire will not melt. To this sense is that, Prov. 25:21. “If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head.” Some will have it a sin-punishing fire, but others a heart-melting fire. To be sure it will either melt his heart, or aggravate his misery.

Remedy 5. Seriously ask this question to thy heart: Have I got any good by the wrongs and injuries received, or have I not? If they have done you no good, turn the revenge upon yourselves: O that I should have such a bad heart, that can get no good out of such troubles! O that my spirit should be so unlike to Christ’s! The patience and meekness of other Christians, have turned all the injuries thrown at them into precious stones; the spirits of others have been raised in blessing God, when they have been loaded with reproaches from the world, they have bound them as an ornament to their necks. Luther has said: I could even be proud upon it, that I have a bad name among wicked men. To the same purpose Jerome said sweetly: I thank my God that I am worthy to be hated of the world. Thus their hearts were provoked by injuries to magnify God, and bless him for them; if it work contrary with me, I have cause enough to be filled with self-disgruntlement. If you have got any good by them; if the reproaches and wrongs you have received, have made you search your hearts the more, watch your ways the more narrowly; if their wronging you, has made you see how you have wronged God, then let me say for them, as Paul did himself, Pray forgive them this wrong. What! can you not find a heart to forgive one that hath been instrumental of so much good to you! That is strange! What though they meant it for evil? Yet, if God hath turned it to good, you have no more reason to rage against the instrument than he had who received a wound from his enemy which which healed the abscess which otherwise had been his death.

Remedy 6. It is of excellent use to keep the heart from revenge, to look up, and eye the first cause by which all our troubles are ordered. This will calm and meeken our spirits quickly. “The Lord hath taken away, blessed be his name,” Job 1:21.

Objection: But you will say, To turn aside the right of a man, to subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not, Lam. 3:36. Answer: True: but though it fall not under His approving, yet it doth under His permitting will, and there is a great argument for quiet
submission in that; nay, He hath not only the permitting, but the ordering of all those troubles. Did we see more of an holy God, we
should shew less of a corrupt nature in such trials.

Remedy 7. Consider how you daily wrong God, and you will not be so easily inflamed with revenge against others that have wronged you. You are daily grieving, and wronging God, and yet He bears, forgives, and will not take vengeance upon you; and will you be so quick in avenging yourselves upon others? O what a sharp and terrible rebuke is that! Mat. 18:32, 33. “O thou wicked and slothful servant! I forgave thee all that debt because thou desirest me, shouldst not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” None should be so filled with pity, forbearance, and mercy, to such as wrong them, as those should be that have experienced the riches of mercy themselves: The mercy of God to us should melt our very hearts into mercy over others; it is impossible we can be cruel to others, except we forget how kind Christ hath been to us. Those that have found mercy, should shew mercy. If kindness cannot work, fear should. “If you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses,” Mat. 6:15.

Remedy 8. Lastly, Let the consideration of the day of the Lord, which draweth nigh, withhold your hands from anticipating it by acts of revenge. Why are you so quick? Is not the Lord at hand, to avenge all His abused servants? “Be patient therefore, my brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold the husbandman waits. Be ye also patient, for the coming of the Lord draws nigh: Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned. Behold the Judge standeth at the door,” Jam. 5:7, 8, 9. This text affords three arguments against revenge: (1.) The Lord’s near approach. (2.) The example of the husbandman’s patience. (3.) The danger we draw upon ourselves by anticipating God’s judgment; Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord; he will distribute justice more equally, and
impartially, than you can. They who believe they have a God to right them, will not so much wrong themselves, as avenge their own
wrongs.

Objection 1: But flesh and blood are not able to bear such abuses.
Solution: If you resolve to consult flesh and blood in such cases, and do no more but what that will enable you to do; never pretend to even be saved. Christians must do singular and supernatural things.

Objection 2: But if I put up such abuses, I shall be reckoned a fool, and every one will trample upon me.
Solution: (1) You may be reckoned so among fools, but God and good men will account it your wisdom, and the excellency of your spirits. (2.) It must be a base spirit indeed that will trample upon a meek and forgiving Christian: and thus learn to keep your hearts from revenge under all provocations.

Evaluating Our Prayers

4 Comments / January 23, 2024

I always feel rather inadequate in writing here on the blog. I want to encourage you to stand on the Word alone and to live it out while knowing that, while I desire to live it out myself, there are so many times I just totally fail. There are few subjects I feel more inadequate in writing about than prayer. I wish I could tell you that I get up at 4am and pray for hours. Sometimes when I awake at 5:30, I think to myself “I should get up and pray,” but then I roll over and go back to sleep. Now, I don’t want you to think I never pray. For that wouldn’t be true, either. But I also know that my prayer life could be so much more powerful and it is an area I long to grow in.

I have been especially thinking about this over the past couple of weeks. Mostly because of our Sunday School teacher. I will be right up front and will begin by letting you know that much of what I am writing today comes from him. He has been focusing on prayer and some of the things he said and has had me thinking on have been so convicting. I wanted to share some of these things with you because I thought you, like me, might be convicted and encouraged.

Why don’t we pray like we should? Why don’t we make the time?

One of the things our teacher challenged us on was on how we spend our time. Was whatever we did (instead of praying) better than prayer? OUCH.

Bottom line: We all have time and we get to choose how we spend it. Oh, how often we get my priorities so mixed up or are just plain lazy. Or is that just me??!

Another thing that was really convicting were his questions regarding our actual prayers:

Is the aim of my prayers focused on pleasing God and submission to His will? Or do I focus most of my prayers on what will make me or someone else comfortable and happy in this world?

In other words, am I more concerned about the temporal things of this life or do I have an eternal perspective?

He took us to I John 3:22–

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

Prayers are answered when we are living in right relationship with God. If we are living in right relationship with God– keeping His commandments and desiring to please Him then our prayers will be a reflection of these priorities.

Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with praying for healing or help in a certain area. God wants us to come to Him with our broken hearts and our desperate needs. I don’t think He even minds hearing our wants.

But we really need to consider two questions, as we share our hearts with God.

Will I willingly and joyfully submit if He says no?

Our teacher said this: God’s will is oppressive if you are rejecting it. But when we realize it’s good it becomes a blessing.

Only through faith and by God’s strength can we understand that God’s will is perfect. It reminds me of Romans 12:1-2–

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Only through sacrifice of our wills and intentionally not conforming ourselves to this world, will we be transformed by the renewing of our mind. We can expect no peace or trust or faith without doing what Paul encourages us to do at the beginning of Romans 12. Our acceptance of God’s perfect will hinges on it.

And a second question: Do I pray for the spiritual fruit that could come from this trial?

For example, so often we pray for healing but it is in these deepest, darkest trials that so many find Christ. It is in these trials that exponential growth often takes place. If we are praying for a Christian friend who has health issues, do we pray for them to be given many opportunities to share the Gospel as they visit doctors and spend their time in the hospital? Or are our prayers focused solely on their health issues? Do we pray that they would grow stronger in faith through this trial?

I think it is just so easy for us to get caught up in focusing on simply the health issue or some other need and keep our prayers focused only on getting that need met. And yet, God is so often working and using these trials to spread the Gospel and to grow His people. Are we partnering with Him in this or are we only focused on the things of this world as we bring our requests before God?

Another thing he mentioned is how often we try to conquer sin on our own and how this is like putting the cart before the horse! I had never thought of it quite like that before. Only through Christ, can we truly conquer our sin and our love for the world. We can’t do it alone. Philippians 4:13, a favorite verse of so many, reminds us of this truth–

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

We can have victory through Christ and His strength, but how often do we go this route of conquering sin or turning away from the world all on our own strength?!? How often do we pray diligently and fervently for help in eradicating a specific sin or our love for the world?

Do you see why I was so convicted? But, as I told my husband, sometimes God has you hear something that you feel was just for you. Such was the case with these lessons on prayer. I think God knew I needed to hear them. Maybe some of you don’t. I know some of you have vibrant and powerful prayer lives. But perhaps there are some of you that needed to hear these words as much as I did. And so it is to you who I write today. I hope this was an encouragement as we endeavor to renew our minds and grow in our faith.

In the Light of His Word

7 Comments / January 13, 2024

Last week I was reading a story that contained a father figure that used the Bible as a weapon. The husband/father would shout Bible verses as he beat his wife and children. A few days later I watched the movie, Jane Eyre, and her school master was the exact same way. I am also currently reading the biography of a woman who was one of Brigham Young’s wives (Mormon leader). He, too– a wicked, wicked man–used the Bible to his own advantage, leaving a path of destruction and violence behind him.

All of these men used select Bible verses without context to scar people forever. Never mentioned by any of these men was the Gospel or any of the verses that talk about the love and joy found in the scriptures. Many men (and women, too), found in positions of leadership, have used and abused scripture for their own intentions and purposes throughout history. They are still doing this today.

I’ve been reflecting on this for awhile now. No wonder there are so many people unenamored with and disinterested in the whole of scripture. The religion that went by the name of Christianity for so many precious children was a religion of rules and laws devoid of love.

This is probably why so many adults, growing up in this kind of church or home, are prone to follow the false religion that goes by the same name that only focuses on the love of God. It is a swing in the opposite direction to the extreme. Some of them leave Christianity altogether, searching for peace in a different religion or even in denying God’s existence.

All false teaching that claims to be a branch of Christianity (Mormonism, Roman Catholicism, etc.) always stems from this ripping of verses out of context. Legalism (must do certain things in order to be saved) is no different.

Legalism is an EVIL false doctrine and its victims are countless.

But let’s remember this important fact: True salvation and wanting to follow Christ because we love Him leads to a desire to turn from the world and remove sin. It just does. It is part of the wonderful transformation in our lives. This is not legalism. This is being saved and becoming a “new creature”, just as we are promised (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Someone who professes to be a Christian and yet loves their sin and the world will always cry “legalism” if a fellow believer even hints at their desire to live a more pure and holy life. Because of this dynamic, I rather doubt that most Christians even understand what legalism really is.

How important that we realize that true legalism is ugly and God hates it. It puts the burden of being saved and staying saved on us. And what a heavy burden that is! I am so thankful for Ephesians 2:8-9 (some of my favorite verses in the whole Bible)–

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Works will not save us and they will not keep us saved. In fact, there is not even one thing we can do to save ourselves. Thank God we are saved by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and kept by Him for all eternity. Oh, how I love these verses I came across as I studied Revelation 1 a few weeks ago. Just read these incredible verses–

And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood, And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to Him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. (Revelation 1:5-6)

He loves us and He freed us from our sins by His blood. He has no intention of ever letting us go! (John 10:28-29)

I was talking with someone the other day about how the culture is so obsessed with the “new”. They always want something better and bigger and different. But the message of the Bible is timeless and never changes: We are dead in our sins BUT GOD (Ephesians 2:1-7), who sent His Son to die for our sins so that we can be reconciled to Him. Satan has been trying to distort and twist this message forever, leading people into false religions, including the false religion of legalism. He will continue to do this as long as he is given free reign by God to do so.

Many of you have been reading this blog for a long time now. You have heard me just keep going back to the same truths of scripture over and over and over again. I am never going to give you some new doctrine or some new idea that propels me into greatness in the eyes of the world. I simply want to be faithful to the scriptures. It seems mundane and many readers grow bored with this. I get it. There is nothing exciting or innovative here.

But I hope what you will find here is a continual pointing to Jesus Christ and His Word. I hope you are encouraged to consider the whole Bible rather than just favorite parts. I hope that you are encouraged to find that balance that we find in scripture between the wrath of God and the love of God. Extremes are spiritually deadly because they are false religions.

I have not met many of you but my love for you compels me to keep writing and to keep encouraging you in the faith. I don’t do this because I am some echelon of spirituality. Quite the contrary. Often when I write I am struggling with some sin or worldly desire. I may be in my own depth of despair or be in the midst of an especially tough battle with my selfish, self-centered heart. Like you (if you are a redeemed child of God), the more I grow in Christ, the more I realize how far I have to go.

And so we continue on this path together, appreciating the heights of joy and happiness when they are given, but recognizing that most of life is made of ordinary days, some easy and some hard, where we are given the opportunity to simply trust and obey the Lord who saved us. Walking in the light of His Word, we trust and we obey. It’s not exciting or different or new. But it is what we are called to do.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Always More to Learn

3 Comments / December 12, 2023

This morning when I came downstairs, my dogs started barking as soon as they glanced out the side windows by our front door. I saw a township truck with a man setting out a flag that said “road closed”. I waited until he had gone and then left the dogs out.

Both started barking madly and rushing towards the sign which sat across the road. I shouted for them to stop and both did hold their ground (thankfully) but they kept barking at the big orange sign.

I told them just how silly they were. That it was just a sign. But the big dog just kept giving nervous glances and fierce single barks at the sign throughout her entire time outside. It was comical, really.

But it was such a great picture of what I’ve been thinking about over the past week or so.

Last week, I took my oldest grandson to Chocolate World in Hershey, PA for his “grandma day” (“grandma day” is my golden opportunity to spend one-on-one time with each grandchild who lives locally. So fun!) We wanted to do something Christmas-y but I was limited by a later appointment and I couldn’t find anything local enough that was open on a Wednesday.

While we were there, we decided to watch the new movie “experience” they have. While we stood waiting, Hershey facts flashed up on the screen:

Did you know 25 million Reese’s cups are made every single day?

Did you know 200 tons of Twizzlers are made every day?

As I pondered these unknown facts, I thought about how many things in this life I do not know.

This goes for me spiritually, as well. Through the years, I have had friends who have challenged me on different things and according to scripture. Things I didn’t realize were offensive to God. And, in this, I was not unlike my dogs. We both did not know an important piece of information. While, for my dogs it was the knowledge that the sign did not present any danger at all; for me, it was the knowledge that what I was doing (or reading or watching) did present a real spiritual danger.

Because there are just always things we don’t know.

I am so very, very grateful that God uses His Word and brings people and situations into my life that constantly challenge my status quo Christian life.

This happened to me again recently. Someone asked me a question and it has really gotten me thinking again about something I’ve always done. Forever. But… when I run it through the grid of scripture, I have to admit that it is not something that pleases God. I never thought for even a second of my entire life that there was anything wrong with this particular thing (and yes, I am purposefully being vague). But that question my friend asked just keeps coming back to my mind. And when I consider scripture and what it says, I know that I have been wrong in this area. Even though it was in ignorance, it was still sin.

Isn’t it so kind of our heavenly Father to conform us, bit by little bit, into Christ’s image? His lovingkindness is such a blessing. We could never handle it if it was done all at once. The realization of what it means to live a pure and holy life before God would be completely overwhelming and discouraging if we were to fully understand all at once.

I am so thankful that God so gently and so kindly transforms us, as we are willing to yield what we thought we loved and desired to Him. As I think about the things I have been convicted about over the years, I realize that I don’t even miss them. I’ve written about many of these here on the blog through the years. Giving up some of these things was excruciatingly hard. I didn’t want to do it. And, yet, as I look back, I realize that God changed my heart so completely after my obedience (sometimes obedience that was quite reluctant and took years!) that I don’t even miss these things I thought I couldn’t live without.

And, so, I am going to, in faith, step out in obedience once again and turn from something I have really enjoyed but that God has so kindly shown me does not please Him. Trusting that once I choose to obey, it won’t even matter to me anymore.

I am thankful that we can always be learning and growing. That we aren’t stuck in some stagnant place without hope. Of course, as we learn and grow, we also learn that we are further from God’s standard of perfection than we ever realized (and just how much we need Jesus as our Savior!!!) and we grow in our knowledge of the depth our own sinfulness and in our understanding of the awesome goodness and amazing grace of God.

I know one thing, I certainly look forward to the day when sin will no longer reign in this mortal body and that all I will do and want to do forever and ever will be to praise and please God without any flesh getting in the way. What a glorious day that will be!

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