Dying to Self

One of the things I have been coming across in scripture over and over again has been this concept of dying to self.

We are all familiar with Galatians 1:20–

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me

But there are so many others—

And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Galatians 5:24)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. (Luke 9:23)

Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. (Romans 6:6)

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 6:24-25)

I’ve been thinking about this very specifically for months now.

Obviously, part of the Christian life is dying to our flesh; denying our wants and our desires. In replacement, we live for Christ. We want what He wants. We desire to do His will.

But what does this mean? How do we practically do this?

One of the things that God has been teaching me is that my view of this has been far too narrow.

I confess that I thought mostly in terms of turning from sin and rejecting the world. And these things are, of course, a very important aspect of this concept. No question about it.

We should examine our lives for wrong motives and sinful habits. We should think about what we watch, listen to, and read in light of what God would desire instead of what we want. We should consider this when we seek counsel, when we make financial decisions, and when we decide who to hang out with.

Another way that we understand these verses is our necessity to die to self regarding our treatment of others. And this, too, is a very real and correct understanding of these passages. We should be willing to sacrificially serve others with our time and resources.

But these passages are not just about these things. God has been teaching me an important lesson that I thought I would share with you.

Recently, I have faced some rather painful, unexpected happenings that brought with them the very real potential for bitterness, grudges, guilt, and despondence to grow in my heart.

God began to, very gently, confront me with the necessity to lay these things at the cross. Every single day.

Denying self isn’t only about rejecting the world, turning from sin, and selflessly serving others. It’s about laying our entire lives down, day after day. We crucify our dreams, our expectations, and our rights.

I began to recognize my tendency to focus on unmet expectations, on offenses and hurt feelings, on the rejection of others, true accusations that bring regret, and false accusations that are unfair. I found myself worrying constantly about what other people think about me, as well as the fears brought by the nagging question: “What if?” Discontentment and disillusionment became my constant companions for a few weeks.

And then God began to shed the light of His Word on my situation. He showed me that I need to lay these things at His feet and, in doing so, I was filled with overwhelming peace. He showed me that He is the only One I need to please. He showed me that the only thing I can control is my attitude and my actions…right at this moment.

To look back with regret is fruitless. We learn from the past. And then we lay our past at the foot of the cross and we move forward.

To dwell on the opinions of others is frustrating. We consider their opinions and honestly examine our hearts in light of their words. And then we lay our need for the approval of others at the foot of the cross and we move forward.

To drown in discontentment is folly. We acknowledge our situation. And then we lay our current situation at the foot of the cross, we thank God for His many blessings in the midst of it, and we move forward.

To be filled with anxiety and fear for the future is foolish. We face our fears in light of God’s promises. And then we lay our anxieties and worries for the future at the foot of the cross, we choose to trust the Lord, and we move forward.

To focus on these things can really stunt our growth and hinder our walk with Christ if we park on them long-term. They render us ineffective for God’s Kingdom as we are consumed with…ourselves.

In the end, these are all ways that we are consumed with self. They are ways we are drawn into focusing on our own perceived needs, wants, and desires.

Dying to self means honestly examining unkind words, unwelcome events, and unexpected happenings in light of God’s Word. Dying to self means processing what has happened and examining our own lives for sin, for wrong attitudes, for ungodly motives. And then dying to self means laying these things at the cross and moving forward, desiring God’s Will instead of our will.

It all sounds so nice, written above. But these words have not been written lightly. They come at the cost of pain and angst.

As I always like to mention, I have not arrived. I feel like people are constantly judging me when I write things like this. I have been called arrogant more times than I can count because I “have all the answers”. People make judgments about me based on posts like these without ever talking to me personally. It’s been one of the costs of writing publicly about my life. It’s one of the things I have been learning to lay at the cross.

And, just to clarify, I don’t have all the answers. I just share here what I am learning. Lessons learned that don’t always stick forever. I am a sinner saved by grace and I certainly have not arrived. I am simply someone who likes to write, in the hope that what I write will encourage fellow believers along the way—just as I need encouragement from my siblings in Christ.

What I wrote today has been a very profound lesson for me learn and I do feel a bit vulnerable in sharing it. However, the Lord has been niggling my spirit to share this for several weeks now so today is the day. I hope it has been a blessing to someone reading it.