Once upon a time, in 1970-something, a young family regularly watched the game show Bowling for Dollars. The young father spent a majority of the show criticizing the bowlers who didn’t do very well. As a bowler himself, he felt very qualified to judge them.
One day, the man decided to try out for the show. After all, it looked so easy. He was a decent bowler. He would, of course, do so much better than these pathetic contestants they watched every week.
He passed the first two trials and then went on to be a participant of the taped episode.
It was at that time, that he recognized that bowling for money in front of both a live audience and a tv audience wasn’t just about bowling. It was about the pressure not to make a fool of yourself.
Which he promptly did. After he was done, his rolls had been extremely unimpressive and included several gutter balls. He came home with $7.
After that, he watched the game show with quite a different spirit. He had been there and it wasn’t as easy as it looked.
It is quite easy to judge people for things we think we understand; things we think we’d do differently.
Years and years ago, I had a friend (who I am no longer in touch with) whose husband had an affair.
In my immaturity, I quickly stated (quite unwisely, I might add), “well, I would leave him.” or some such stupid thing.
Her profound answer has stuck with me my entire life: “Well,” she said tiredly, “you really don’t know what you would do until you are in my place.”
I have never forgotten that.
We don’t know what we would do. We think we do know. But we don’t. It’s so important we stop judging people hurriedly and without knowledge and, instead, pray for them.
It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? Even if we are wise enough not to speak it, we are thinking it.
Oh, that we may recognize that we don’t know. We just don’t know what someone is going through. And in that humble recognition, may our love and grace grow for those who are going through things we can’t possibly imagine. We really don’t know how we would respond.
No, they may not be handling things the way we would. They may even be handling them sinfully (which does need to be addressed), but love needs to be our motive and love should be what drives our thoughts and speech. Not censure.
Maybe you have this down. I definitely don’t. But God continues to show me this and grow me in this area. And I’m not the same person I was. God is so faithful.
So let’s keep growing together in our knowledge of God’s Word, in discernment, in wisdom, in love, and, yes…in grace.