Real Life Stories – Page 18

Sometimes.

2 Comments / October 16, 2014 October 16, 2014

Sometimes I feel like I’m writing to myself.

Sometimes I feel like bearing my soul here on the blog makes me too vulnerable to pointing fingers.

Sometimes I worry that I am too narrow or too broad or too vague in what I write.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I am arrogant or ridiculous or unrealistic or harsh.

Sometimes I worry that I annoy people because I am forever posting the blog posts to my social media accounts.

And, many times, I wonder if I am making any difference at all.

We all know that the number of blogs out there are countless. I often feel like the tiniest bit of plankton in the giant ocean of the internet. But I keep writing, anyway. Because I honestly believe it is what God wants me to be doing– at least for right now. How do I know this?

I know this because of so many of you, my faithful readers. Let me explain.

On Monday, my post was about speaking the good to others and I gave you an assignment to try to say at least one nice thing to or about someone each day. It got me thinking about how so many of you have said such kind things to me regarding my writing. It might be in passing, when I see you out of the blue, letting me know you read the blog and thanking me for writing. Or it might be through a short e-mail expressing your appreciation of a particular post. Or you may be one who provides me with constant encouragement, always there when I need a few words to keep me going, reminding me of why I am writing in the first place. And many of you have encouraged me by clicking on the “like” and “share” buttons, letting me know you believe that what I write is actually worth sharing.

Whoever you are, if you have encouraged me regarding Growing4Life, I want you to know that it has been wonderfully uplifting. And, honestly, I believe your kind words are what has kept me writing the last four and a half years. Whenever I am ready to quit because I feel like no one cares, God will move one of you to encourage me to keep writing because He is using me to help you grow.

I am so humbled by this. Honestly, I am. I have such a long way to go and most of what I write on here are just lessons that I am learning myself. I don’t have it altogether. Which is why I find it even more amazing that God is using me– if even in just a very small way. While I may appear confident and together on the outside, inside I am still insecure, too worried about what people think when I lose sight of my true reason for writing.

And so I want to offer my deepest gratitude to those of you who have helped me stay the course when I have wanted to quit. Your kind words have made such a difference and they have not gone unnoticed.

Offer those kind words of encouragement to someone today in your sphere. This is Day 4 of the Word Power assignment. If you are taking part in the assignment, I hope that you will continue it today.

Because encouraging words do make a difference and this blog is genuine proof of that.

Getting Scammed

2 Comments / October 6, 2014 October 6, 2014

“Hi, Ma’am, I’m calling from Microsoft,” started the voice with a thick accent, indicating he was from a country far away. He continued, “We have been watching your computer, ma’am, and we see that there is a dreadful virus that is running haywire on your computer, ma’am.”

My naturally skeptical self rose to the surface. Yeah, right.

“Umm…which computer are we talking about here– a desktop or a laptop?”

With only a slight nanosecond of hesitation, “your laptop, ma’am. It’s very serious, ma’am. If you don’t fix this, we will have to discontinue connection to your IP address. You will lose all access to your computer. This is very serious, ma’am.”

“How do I know you are calling from Microsoft?”

“Ma’am, I am calling from Microsoft. We keep track of all computers. You have a terrible virus that will start to affect all of the computers around you if you don’t do something about it.”

He went on to give me the worst possible consequences if I didn’t take care of this matter immediately, trying to frighten me into taking his bait.

By this time, I was fairly sure I was dealing with a scam artist. I was in the midst of a really busy day and was in no mood to entertain a scam artist on the phone and so, after assuring him that I would check into this threatening virus with a professional I know, I hung up on him.

When I did finally think to ask my computer specialist, she confirmed my suspicions and assured me that Microsoft is not in the habit of calling customers to let them know their computers have a deadly virus.

I am sure the scam artist was very disappointed not to get his hands on some American money. I am also sure that, without blinking an eye, he called the next number on his list.

And the sad thing is that there will be some sad soul who believes him and is scammed out of hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. But this scamming doesn’t only go on over the phone from international thieves. It goes on wherever there are people. And it goes on in a multitude of ways. Scamming has been a famous way to gain money or power since time began.

When we talk about being scammed financially, a lot of it has to do with naivete and lack of discernment. If we do not make an effort to be at least somewhat knowledgeable of the world around us and the dangers that are a part of it, we will be easily fooled. But if we do listen and read and take initiative to understand what kind of world we live in, we will be less easily scammed should the situation arise.

But there is something much more dangerous than financial scamming and that is spiritual scamming. If we don’t take the initiative to know and understand God and to read His Word, we make ourselves very vulnerable to the spiritual scammers of this world. Another part to protecting ourselves is to be constantly aware and on guard.

I could have been very easily scammed by the foreigner on my phone had I not immediately been wary. Let’s be honest, we live in a culture where scams are, unfortunately, a very real and frequent threat. I was on guard as soon as I heard the first sentence, as many of you would have been, as well.

But so often we don’t practice this same principle when we are listening to a preacher or reading a book. We don’t listen to the song lyrics that are on in our car and we pay little attention to the philosophies behind our church’s decisions.

But in order for us to keep from being spiritually scammed — and to discern truth from error (Philippians 1:9)– we need to apply this same principle to all we put in our mind. It doesn’t matter if it is a sermon by my favorite preacher or the lyrics to a song I’ve heard on the radio a hundred times or a book by my favorite author, we should always be running everything through the grid of God’s Word. Of course, this is only possible if we actually are reading and studying the Bible.

Yes, all of this takes so much work and effort, but if we don’t do this, we are so easily scammed.

Why do some people pay money to a preacher, believing this will lead to healing?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe they can gratify the lusts of the flesh, living in any way they desire and yet still go to heaven as long as they “asked Jesus into their heart”?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that all ways lead to heaven and that Christianity is just one of them?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that homosexuality is not a sin?

Because they don’t know God’s Word.

If we study God’s Word with humility and a desire to obey what we learn, and if we pray, asking for insight and understanding, God will answer that prayer (Ephesians 1:15-23). As we become more familiar with the Bible, we become much more astute and discerning when someone teaches something that is not scriptural.

Don’t be a victim of a spiritual scam. Know God’s Word so well that it isn’t even possible to scam you.

In case you are wondering why I seem to be writing so much about the Bible lately, I want to fill you in on a couple of reasons–

1. My own passion of God’s Word has grown so much over the past year and I would love for you to have that same passion. In 2015 I am hoping to have a Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge. More details will come on that soon.

2. I truly believe that the main reason the modern-day church is walking away from its very foundations of truth is because its members do not know the Word of God. We have become so used to being spoon-fed spiritually and, if we are honest, have turned the bulk of our attention to the temporary things of this life. We have become obsessed with our experiences and how we feel about them. These changes have opened wide the door for doctrinal error to enter the church doors. It is my hope that I can encourage even one person to turn back to the Bible and a focus on the eternal. It is truly my hope that this blog will encourage you to include increasing your knowledge of God, through reading and studying the Bible, in your busy schedule so that you will grow as a believer and be able to discern in these dangerous times.

iOS Frustrations

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2014 October 2, 2014

Well, the iPhone saga continues on at this house. If you recall, it was only about a month ago that I had shattered my iPhone and blogged about the lessons I learned from that experience (you can find that post here). When I wrote that, my phone had not been fixed. I’d like to take just a moment to tell you the rest of that story, so you can fully appreciate the rest of this post.

After trying to replace the broken screen, I finally just decided to call the insurance I apparently had on the phone (but do not remember signing up for). When I called, the kind lady assured me that she would be able to help me and went on to explain that since they were no longer making the iPhone 5, I would be sent a 5s. A day later, my phone showed up. I moved the Sim card, restored my latest backup, and was up and running in literally no time at all. It was so easy.

Fast forward a few weeks, when my husband dropped his phone. But instead of the screen shattering, something happened with his sound. He could no longer hear any calls through his ear piece and had to take all his calls via the speaker phone. Once again, I was on the phone with the insurance company.

But this time it would not be so easy.

When I called, I was informed by the not-so-nice lady who seemed to have no idea what she was doing that I would need to fax an affidavit and proof of my I.D. to them before they could process this claim. They could not approve the claim before I did this. When I asked for her supervisor and explained that I had just made a claim on another phone without doing this, she told me this was standard and there were no exceptions. Hmmm. Okay. Slightly annoyed, I did as I was told. When the approval finally came through it was for an iPhone 5. No problem there. I found it curious, given what the agent had told me the month before, but not a problem.

A couple of days later, the phone arrived. When I went to get started exchanging the phones last night, the tiny screen of the new iPhone informed me that no backups could be restored until the operating system was updated. Upon investigating further, I realized that the phone they had sent me only had iOS 6. At that point, I knew we were not looking at some easy fix. This was going to take some time. I was starting to feel some pressure. It was already pretty late at night and Eric could not be without a phone the next day. Ok, he could but it would be extremely inconvenient. I found myself wondering why mine was the easy and upgraded one. He needs his phone so much more than I need mine. Anyway.

I updated the iOS as requested only to find out that now it couldn’t restore the backup because the new phone was now iOS 8 and his backup was in iOS 7. So. Much. Frustration. So now I had to update his iPhone. If you have an iPhone, you are aware that these updates take some time. We were now at around 11:15. I left his to update and went to bed. This morning at 6:15, it looked like it had not updated overnight. And the panic hit once again. Thankfully, it had updated (must have just been a glitch on the screen). To update the new phone, I had had to set it up as a new phone. And so now I had to go back and erase and reset the new phone so I could restore the backup.

I was finally able to get the new phone in Eric’s hands at about 7:30.

What a process. All because I did not start with the right iOS system.

What I am going to say now most people do not want to hear but the bottom line is this: If we start with right operating system, life is generally simpler.

And, in life, the right operating system is found in the Bible. If we follow the standards set up for us there, we have a better life. I have even seen non-Christians live by the standards set up there and have a really good life because they are living a good, moral life by staying faithful to their spouse, being honest, loving their children and teaching them to obey and respect authority, being a good steward of their resources, and being a good worker. These things alone will keep us from experiencing an awful lot of consequences.

But when we start with the wrong operating system (known by the name ME), we run in to some serious problems. When we are dominated by our own selfish desires, pride, and lusts, we will probably not have such an easy life but instead will be forced to deal with some costly consequences.

Sure, there are exceptions to this. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people. But we have to stop pretending that we can–

–Eat all we want and not get fat.

–Let our kids disobey and be disrespectful and yet believe they will somehow follow the Lord when they get older.

–Be selfish and unloving and still have a good marriage.

–Buy what we want and not go into debt.

Life has consequences. And much of the heartache in this world is due to this rule of reaping what you sow (Galatians 6:7). The really sad thing is that most times we are not the only ones who reap what we sow. The tragedies dealt by bad decisions are visited upon our children, our spouses, and our parents. Our choices can ruin lives.

My phone was so easy because I had started with the correct iOS. On the other hand, Eric’s phone was difficult and so frustrating because it did not have the correct iOS.

Let me encourage you to start with the right operating system today. This doesn’t mean we will live perfect lives (which you will understand immediately if you know me at all!), but it does mean that we will make a very purposeful decision to stop being guided by our own desires and wants and, instead, turn to God’s Word for directions on how to live. You will not only be pleasing Him by this choice, but avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache and sadness in your life.

If you appreciated this post, would you please take a moment to share it? Thank you.

A Lesson in Love From an Unlikely Source

2 Comments / September 29, 2014 September 29, 2014

I love both my dogs. Truly, I do. But I have to admit that one is so much easier to love than the other one. (First, a disclaimer– if you don’t like dogs, you may not “get” this post. I hope you will keep reading, anyway.)

We have one dog named Belle. She is small and white and a bit cat-like. She will come if she feels like it. She will obey if she feels like it. She will stare at you with these eyes that seem to say, “see if you can make me.” Now, overall, she is a great dog. She really is. And most times she does listen. And when she feels like it, she is the most cuddly dog you can imagine. But so much of the love is on her terms.

On the other hand, our Chocolate Lab, Macy, is almost always willing and ready to obey, to come when called, and to snuggle. She is happy and easy-going and just an easy dog to have around. She follows me everywhere and is almost depressed when I am not home for a few days. She loves me so much that I can’t help but love her back. The dog hair that seems to congregate in the corners of my house and other occasional annoyances that come with having a dog inside the house are more bearable because she is just so lovable.

The bottom line is that Macy is just easier to love than Belle.

As I was thinking about this the other day, I started wondering: Am I lovable? Do I love the people in my life so much that they can’t help but love me back?

I think sometimes we expect people (especially our spouses) to love us unconditionally, without wavering. And so they should. But perhaps we could make it so much easier for them to do so?

Should we really expect passionate and undying love from someone if we treat them like they are our servant? Or grow angry and irritated at the slightest offense? Can we really expect unconditional love if we are unkind, arrogant, and defensive? If we never, ever apologize or forgive?

Oh, it is possible to love difficult people by the grace of God and His love working through us, but we do it out of a sense of duty. It certainly isn’t because it is fulfilling or rewarding in any way. It certainly isn’t the way God designed love between two people to be.

Instead we so often fall into the habit of tolerating one another.

I have read several books on marriage that suggest that if you start serving your mate and treating them the way you would want to be treated it would go a long way in making your marriage work. I knew that this must be true but when I started thinking about my two very different dogs, understanding came in a whole different way.

It is just hard not to love someone (or a dog) who treats you like you are the greatest thing in existence. It is a rare person who doesn’t respond to kindness and loving actions shown towards them. And it is so much easier to put up with the annoyances and small irritations if we feel deeply loved by someone. Tolerance falls away and deep, abiding love takes its place.

If you are struggling in a relationship with someone today, may I suggest that you start loving that person unconditionally and without reserve? Read I Corinthians 13 right now and put it into practice. Start treating them like they are special and see if they don’t just return that love. And, even if they don’t respond in the way you want right away (this process can take days or even years), you will be filled with the knowledge and peace that you are doing the right thing according to God’s Word (Mark 12:31).

Long-Term Benefits

2 Comments / September 19, 2014 September 19, 2014

We were on the highway, headed back to our campground after a fun day of sight-seeing, when we came upon this extremely slow car in the passing lane. I find slow cars in the passing lane rather frustrating. I don’t care if someone prefers to drive slow, I just appreciate if they stay in the appropriate lane for their speed.

As we scooted to the right lane to pass them, I glanced in the car, expecting to see an elderly person.

Instead, what I saw confounded me. It was a young woman intently texting on her phone. In the passing lane. On a busy highway.

How dumb do you have to be if you are texting in the passing lane?? (My apologies to you if you have done this. I am not trying to be unkind, but common sense tells us that we shouldn’t text and drive at all, much less in the passing lane of a major highway!)

She is so typical of this day and age, where we just do not think through the possible consequences of our actions.

We are so focused on the present and what we want to do, that we care little for our own lives or the lives of those around us. And this is true in many other aspects of our lives, as well.

My husband and I were having a conversation with friends the other night and the subject of friendship with our kids came up. We are now at the stage where we are beginning wonderful friendships with our kids. But if we had tried to be their friend ten years ago, we would have sacrificed the friendship we have now. We had to delay our present desires (our kids to like us) for their future benefit (and our future benefit, as well).

Delaying gratification is not a popular concept these days. Think of all the dumb stuff we do on a daily basis because of the immediate gratification we receive–

~Eat when we aren’t hungry to fulfill the “appetite” of our eyes.

~Choose processed foods and mixes to save ourselves time.

~Give in to our child so we aren’t embarrassed or so they will like us.

~Buy something we don’t need or go into debt to “keep up with the Joneses”.

~Watch something crude and profane to get a few laughs.

Honestly, when it comes right down to it, many of us choose immediate gratification over long-term benefit all the time.

So what do we get if we decide to choose future benefits instead of immediate gratification? I can think of a few, very worthy things that you will probably receive (although there are always exceptions, of course)–

~We will not be haunted for life by the image of killing another human being because we were texting and driving on a major highway (this one is guaranteed, by the way–if you don’t text and drive, you won’t kill someone while doing it!)

~We will have a healthy body.

~We will stay out of debt.

~We will have obedient and respectful children (instead of the little tyrants I see running around everywhere these days! I shudder to think about what this world will be like as these undisciplined, self-centered kids grow up).

~We will become more like Christ.

As we grow more mature in Christ and exercise self-discipline in these areas, the decisions become easier because they become habits. The first few times we say no to that dessert or to buying something that we can’t afford, it hurts terribly. The first time we hold our ground with our kids and provide consequences for their fits, we will feel just awful inside. The first time we turn off that TV show or radio station, we will feel disappointed. But, if you can stick with it long enough, it gets easier because it becomes a habit. And before you know it, you have taken some leaps and bounds towards a better life.

I don’t know if the girl who was texting will ever have to pay the ultimate price for her stupidity. It seems that oftentimes many people get away with the Russian Roulette game they play every day. But we need to do the right thing, even if we never experience negative consequences.

And one final thing–of course, sometimes we fall back into our old habits as we strive to make good choices. That is where perseverance comes in. If you are reading this and are at a bad place and ready to give up, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on! We can’t give up! Perfection and perfect rest will come soon enough, but for now we are here to labor on in our quest to become more like Christ, to share the gospel, and to glorify God.

Lessons from a Shattered Screen

1 Comment / September 1, 2014 September 1, 2014

It was a beautiful sunny day. I was doing something a bit unusual for me– I was actually on a job rather than behind a desk. A customer had called asking that their summer containers be replaced with plants for autumn. My husband thought I was the best person for the job and so I found myself getting my hands dirty that day.

As I gathered the plants and tools I needed, I actually gave a brief thought to getting my Otter Box case. I keep it for days I’ll be mostly outside or traveling. But I decided not to.

A dumb decision. I can see that now.

It happened as I was walking to my car for something. I heard the text message sound. It couldn’t wait until I was at the car (I am not exactly sure why??) and so, as I usually do, I pulled my phone from my pocket as I walked. Somehow I lost my grip on it and it fell face down onto the concrete sidewalk.

Now, at this point, I wasn’t really that worried. I have dropped my phone countless times and it has always remained unscathed. I was expecting the same thing this time.

I was in for a big disappointment.

As I picked it up, my heart sank. The screen wasn’t just cracked in a corner, it was completely shattered, and yet the glass was clinging tenaciously to the screen.

I gingerly pressed on the center button. It lit up. I pressed on an app. It responded. I carefully put the phone in the car in a horizontal position and went back to work, berating myself and trying to figure out what I was going to do about this unexpected turn of events as I worked.

I went home, put on the Otter Box cover so I could still use it, and mourned (well, not really, but almost…).

This all happened last Friday. It is now Monday and my phone screen is still a shattered mess. It doesn’t respond real well and so any texting I do is almost cumbersome. It has become my “emergency use only” phone.

My very clever son has offered to replace the screen (he’s already replaced the screens on two other phones) and so my new screen has been ordered and is on its way.

Of course, I can’t have something like this happen to me without thinking through all of the lessons that can be learned from it. I thought of several and just can’t narrow it down to one–

LESSON #1

My shattered screen was really a blessing in disguise. About a month ago I had actually removed some of the apps I tend to press whenever I have a nano-second to look at my phone. I had started to habitually pull my phone out of my pocket in all situations and I knew it was a very bad habit. And so I had removed the apps in an effort to break myself of this behavior. This new turn of events really gave that effort a big boost. Because now my phone isn’t even a temptation because it doesn’t work right.

And–believer it or not– life continues on even without a phone. I know some of you might not believe that but I tell you the truth: Life is not about your phone and the world that is held within it.

We need to pull ourselves out of this tiny-screened world so many of us find ourselves in and make a conscious effort to embrace the world we live in—the living, breathing, shining world that is right in front of our faces.

And so, while it is inconvenient, I am not really unhappy that this happened to me.

LESSON #2

I find it interesting that the phone is shattered but it still works. iPhones remind me a little bit of that Timex commercial (it was Timex, wasn’t it?) from so long ago–

It takes a licking but keeps on ticking.

I was certain when I saw that shattered screen that my phone wouldn’t work. But it did.

I think it is a little representative of people. We can deal and put up with a lot. We are hindered and hampered but we keep taking the next step. Our dreams are shattered, our worlds cave in and yet we have no choice but to keep going.

But so many of us choose to keep living with that shattered screen. Instead of turning to the Lord for complete healing and a changed life, we toil through life with grief and shame. How sad, when we could turn to the Lord for a new heart and walk with Him. How tragic that so many of us live under the shadows of heartache, bitterness, and envy, never turning to the One who can help us step away from our past and provide healing.

No, life does not become perfect. Please don’t hear me saying that. But the peace and joy that comes when we surrender our lives to the Lord cannot be measured. These are not just empty words. I am living proof of this, as are many I know. Find someone who genuinely loves the Lord and is living a life in surrender to His will and just ask them. I know they will attest to this, as well.

LESSON #3

“If only” is a phrase that can haunt us, if we aren’t careful. If only I had put my Otter Box case on my phone. If only I hadn’t dropped it. If only I had just left my phone in the car to begin with.

The phone incident is so minor in life, but much more serious “if only”s haunt many of us, don’t they?

If only I wouldn’t have had that affair.

If only I would have married a believer.

If only I would have disciplined my child when they were a toddler.

If only I wouldn’t have gone there that night.

If only I wouldn’t have said that.

If only he or she wouldn’t have gotten cancer.

But the world of “if only” is a shattering, heart-breaking world where we feel hopeless and helpless. It is a world in which we can’t change a thing.

Somehow, with the grace and mercy of God, we need to pull ourselves out of it. We need to submit ourselves to the perfect will of our heavenly Father and forget the “if onlys”. They just serve as an avenue of discontentment and dissatisfaction.

Whew. That’s a lot for one day. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you. Perhaps I should have broken this into several posts. But I hope that some of these lessons I have learned may help you, too.

If you have appreciated this post, I would be very honored if you would share it with others. Thank you!

Making a Choice

Leave a Comment / August 28, 2014 August 28, 2014

The woman was always down. And, for sure, she had a good reason. When I met her many years ago, her husband had already been gone for five years, a victim of cancer. Our daughters were the same age and got along well together so it naturally led to some conversations. Conversations that always centered on her horrible life and how hard it was. She was forever the victim of awful circumstances and– from what I could see– was content to wallow in despair for the rest of her life. I found it terribly sad for her and for her kids. She had been given very difficult circumstances and had multiplied the pain with her “woe is me” attitude.

I just can’t help but contrast her with another woman who also lost her husband. This woman, while not denying the heart-wrenching pain and overwhelming struggles, refused to give in to self-pity. Even through her pain, she was always looking out for the needs of others and ready to offer her help and resources in any way possible, always aware that she wasn’t the only one struggling in life. Her reliance on God’s strength and her focus on Jesus has been an amazing testimony to all around her.

Two women.

Two totally different responses.

I am not judging the first one, because, honestly, I have no idea how I would react in those circumstances.

But the second one? She has taken something horrible and has shown how God walks with you baby-step by baby-step through the drudgery of long, painful days and never-ending, sleepless nights if you stay focused on Him. She has been a shining example of the strength that God’s grace provides when we turn to Him.

You know, when we sin, we will often blame our circumstances. Difficult finances, trouble at work, or health issues give us the excuse we need to become full of self-pity, anger, or bitterness.

But, as I think of this second woman, I can’t help but realize–

It’s not the circumstances but how we react to the circumstances that really matters.

No one can force us to pity ourselves, to be filled with angst and despair, or to give way to anger and frustration. They are choices.

As I write, King David comes to mind. Many times he was crushed by despair, surrounded by enemies, and yet he often turns his anguished cry to praise. Psalm 69 is a good example of this. The first few verses say this–

Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
²I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
³I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

But by the end of that very same Psalm, David is praising God–

Let heaven and earth praise Him,
The seas and everything that moves in them.
³⁵For God will save Zion
And build the cities of Judah,
That they may dwell there and possess it.
³⁶Also, the descendants of His servants shall inherit it,
And those who love His name shall dwell in it.

He would give voice to despair, but he would always turn his eyes to God and the hope of salvation.

Voicing our despair, hopelessness, and frustration isn’t the problem–It is dwelling in that place of despair–taking up residence in that dark place– for all of our days. It’s never turning our eyes to God and letting Him meet our needs in the way He chooses. It’s growing like a petulant, spoiled child in the face of our trials, instead of submitting ourselves to God’s Sovereignty.

This is a hard conversation. I know that very well. But trials and difficulties are when the “rubber meets the road” so to speak. It’s when we really get to show the world that God is always good and provides for our every need. And it’s when, if we choose to humble ourselves and live obediently to His word, we truly understand the faithfulness of God in a much deeper and fuller way.

The two women, both professing Christians, responded to the same circumstance in totally different ways. One setting a shining example for fellow Christians to follow and the other one alienating even the most loving souls by her constant, self-centered despair.

Powerful Words

Leave a Comment / August 25, 2014 August 25, 2014

The girl stood taller than the rest of the children. She was older than they were and she felt awkward and even ugly next to all that adorableness. This was a tough time for her, as that stage between childhood and adulthood often is for many of us.

As the children played, the adults talked. And she felt like she didn’t fit anywhere. She would be glad when the evening was over. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the family that was visiting her home. She just felt like she didn’t belong.

As they gathered together to eat, the mother of the visiting family unobtrusively whispered in the girl’s ear, telling her that she would be so happy if her young daughter would grow up to be just like her.

To a struggling twelve year old, these words were some of the most encouraging she could have offered. The young girl, now in her 20s, has never forgotten that moment of encouragement during a challenging time of her life.

My daughter told me this story only yesterday. I am not sure I had ever heard it before. But as she expressed her gratefulness for the woman and her wise words, I again realized the power of words.

We forget that words have the power to break someone down or build someone up. And so many of us are in the habit of sharing the negative and never sharing the positive. We feel very comfortable saying what we don’t like, what we think someone should be, what improvements are necessary, and how someone isn’t meeting our expectations.

But when things are going well or there is something we really appreciate, so many of us tend to keep our mouths shut.

Many years ago, during a time when I was playing piano solos in my church, I realized the encouragement that could be given with just a few words. I would work hard at a song and would feel rather deflated if no one told me they appreciated my hard work. And yet, if even just one person took a brief moment to thank me, I would feel like the work was worthwhile.

Now, God used this to teach me a myriad of lessons, the most important being that I should not long for the praise of men (I am still learning that lesson, by the way). But another lesson I learned during that time is that if I appreciate something about someone, I need to let them know.

Whether you talk to them in passing, take them for coffee, or write a short note to express appreciation, taking the time to share your positive thoughts is always a good idea.

God has dedicated a good portion of James 3 to this topic of the tongue. James tells us that–

And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. ⁷For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. ⁸But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. (verses 6-8)

This passage shows us that our words have great power, doesn’t it? As much as we have power to use it for evil, we also have the power to use it for good.

I heard a testimony the other day of a man who had come to know the Lord as an adult. As he talked about his faith in Christ, he mentioned that before he was even beginning to think about Christianity, someone had planted seeds of life in his heart. It would be several years before those seeds came to fruition, but that wise person had planted them, just the same.

Encouraging others and planting seeds of the gospel– now that is what I want my words to do. Don’t you?

Why do we find it so much easier to use our tongues to express irritation, to gossip, to argue, and to belittle? Why do we find it so much easier to close our mouths shut tight and not say anything?

Scripture is so clear on this, speaking to this very topic directly in a multitude of verses–

Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36, Proverbs 16:24, Proverbs 16:23-24, Proverbs 15:23, I Thessalonians 5:11

And there are many more.

Let’s use our words today to build up and encourage. Let’s use our tongues to plant seeds for the gospel. And let’s wisely consider each word before it is spoken.

Will Mark Driscoll Say Thank You Someday?

3 Comments / August 12, 2014 August 12, 2014

The removal of Mark Driscoll from Acts29 has been swirling about in Christian circles for a few days now. First, I have to admit that I do not have inside information regarding this celebrity pastor. I really don’t know if the accusations are true or not. I was never a big Mark Driscoll fan and my interest in his ministry disappeared completely when he started challenging long-held beliefs on some of the most basic understanding of scriptural passages –or did he just choose to ignore them? I don’t really know his motives, his thoughts, or his heart. Obviously.

But this incident has really turned my thoughts toward the modern day expectations of pastors. We–the average church goer– feed into this new church model. The model that is driven by the goal to grow bigger and better and ever more cool.

Instead of focusing on shepherding his flock (as scripture commands), the pastor becomes obsessed with making sure more and more people come to his church. If he is one of the “fortunate” ones that has the charisma to attract a crowd, he now fights a battle that is a temptation to all people, but perhaps most tempting to charismatic leaders — and that is the battle of pride.

Pride worms its way into all of our lives in one way or another (even discouraged cries of “Woe is me!” and “I deserve better than this!” stem from pride), but pastors seem to be most vulnerable of all.

This is probably for a number of different reasons —

1. People naturally follow them.

2. People naturally praise and lift them up.

3. Satan would like nothing better than to destroy a church and what better way than attacking the leader?

So back to Mark Driscoll. If what is swirling about is true and Mark Driscoll has fallen prey to this temptation to be arrogant and dictatorial, could it be that this may end up being a very positive event in his life?

Acts29 did him a huge favor! One that should happen much more often in the church today. They said to him, “We care more about you than we care about our reputation or even your reputation. We care more about what God’s Word says in how to handle this, than we do about what is ‘politically’ correct.”

I applaud Acts29 for taking a stand. I am sure many sleepless nights and much heartache went into their decision. If Mark Driscoll is as smart as I think he is, he will use this as a wake-up call to return to the humility and servant’s heart that is required of all of us as believers– no matter what earthly position we find ourselves in.

This could well be the best thing that has ever happened to him. Painful for him and his family and his church — by all means. Sin usually is. But if he humbles himself and turns to scripture, I imagine that one day in the future he will say a very heartfelt “Thank You” to his friends at Acts29.

And one more thing– if you are blessed with a humble pastor who loves God and His Word more than he loves himself, who cares deeply for his flock and desires to shepherd them, who turns the hearts of his people to the Word of God and expounds faithfully each week (instead of telling stories and entertaining), why don’t you take a moment to say thank you? You are so blessed.

A Pleasant Fragrance

2 Comments / August 11, 2014 August 11, 2014

I had the most hilarious thing happen to me the other week. Okay– so maybe not the most hilarious. But it was certainly funny!

But, first, let me preface this story by filling you in on something about me–

I am just a tad bit OCD about keeping my hands germ-free.

With this being the case, I am rarely without a PocketBac. What are PocketBacs, you may ask? They are the little containers of hand sanitizer that Bath and Body Works sells in all kinds of delightful fragrances.

And before you comment or message me about how I am actually making myself less healthy and more susceptible to diseases by my constant usage of this modern day concoction, let me assure you that I do already know that. But old habits die really hard. (I am way more easygoing about this than I used to be, however– just ask my family!)

Okay, so back to the story–

A few weeks ago, I attended a conference. After lunch, I found myself growing a little tired, as I sat in a session with 15 or 20 other people. I tried to pay attention, but finally decided that perhaps a little candy might help me stay alert.

As is my habit, I first needed to make sure my hands were clean before touching something I was going to put in my mouth (even as I write this, I sound a little over-the-top. I think I may have a serious problem here!) and so I put a little dab of hand sanitizer on my hands and discreetly rubbed them together under my desk. I then put a couple of candies in my mouth and turned my attention back to the class.

Suddenly, the teacher stopped, sniffed the air, and then said, puzzled, “I smell something fruity…”

Uh-oh. I knew that the apricot-mango scent of my new pocketbac was rather strong, but I didn’t realize it was that strong. I am pretty sure that she was smelling my hand sanitizer.

I sat there like I knew nothing.

“I do, too!” said one classmate.

“Me, too…” said another.

And I continued to sit there like I knew nothing.

Finally, one lady said, “Oh, it’s the air-conditioner.”

What??

But everyone nodded their heads and murmured, “yes, it must be the AC”, the answer was accepted by the teacher as correct, and the class moved on.

I still have to chuckle when this incident comes to mind–the air conditioner??

It is absolutely amazing to me what “group think” can lead people to believe. But that’s a post for another day. I actually want to think about the word “fragrance” for a moment.

We are so often like I was as Christians. We are this pleasant fragrance of kindness and love that wafts through the room but when someone questions what that fragrance is, we hesitate to mention the name of Jesus. We will mention church but, for some reason, be scared to witness boldly about the change that Jesus Christ has wrought in our lives. So we, instead, hope that people will see that we are genuine believers and then just take in the gospel by osmosis.

But, more often, I fear, is our tendency, as believers, to not be the pleasant fragrance in the room. Instead of bringing joy and kindness and love wherever we go, we bring gossip, anxiety, or frustration. Instead of serving, we are demanding. Instead of thankful, we are complaining. Instead of bringing humility to our roles of leadership, we bring self-righteous pride. And the stench is not pleasant but instead something that no one else wants.

So, this leads to two questions we have to ask ourselves–

1. Am I the pleasant fragrance of Christ to a lost and dying world?

2. If I am a pleasant fragrance, do people know that it’s because of Jesus Christ or do they just think I’m a “nice guy”?

As this world becomes more and more wicked and unstable, we will shine as lights if we are living for Christ. Our lives should be a beacon of hope in the darkness that surrounds us as we choose to live in obedience to God’s Word. We can choose to give God the glory in all of our circumstances — be they tragic or incredibly wonderful– and we will be the incredible fragrance of life to those who are searching.

Of course, we need to remember that we will not be a pleasant fragrance to those who are delighting in their sin and have hardened their hearts against God. But, that’s okay. That’s how Paul told us it would be (2 Corinthians 2:14-16). Our responsibility is to live a godly life and be a bold witness for Christ. God will take care of the rest.

So let’s be a pleasant fragrance today wherever we may go and let’s be sure to tell people the reason for the hope that is within us (I Peter 3:15), if given the opportunity!

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