Real Life Stories – Page 12

How Did That Happen?

4 Comments / December 28, 2015 December 28, 2015

The other night as I stood over the sink, cleaning up from another big meal I had planned and prepared during this holiday season, I suddenly realized that somehow over the past 25 years I went from being completely incapable in the kitchen to being able to prepare a meal for 10-20 family members and/or close friends and not even be really stressed about it.

When did that happen? Or perhaps a better question is: How did that happen?

First, you have to understand that hospitality would not be my natural gift. Food preparation and serving takes me way outside my comfort zone. Way outside.

I remember the first meal I cooked for my in-laws. I have this vague memory of burning the peas. I was so incredibly stressed. Not because of them–they were more than gracious. It was just so stressful to plan and prepare meals for even two extra people who I wanted to impress. It wasn’t much better the next time I tried to host a couple from our church for Sunday lunch–we arrived home to find that I had never turned the oven on for the roast!

But I survived those embarrassing incidents of hosting guests in that tiny apartment we first called home and just kept trying. And, gradually, over the years, somehow everything changed.

But that change only occurred because I forced myself to have that first meal. And then a second. And then a third. Had I just refused to have people in my home from the beginning or even after those first couple attempts–using my fear and inability as an excuse– I would not be where I am today.

And it’s a great reminder that sometimes we need to step forward in faith to do the good works God has prepared for us despite the fear and the inability. Despite the failures.

We will never change if we don’t start walking in the direction we want to go. We won’t accomplish much if we never even try.

Sure, it took me a really long time to get here. But I did get here. Sure, I still have failures sometimes (like making the pineapple stuffing a little too crispy on Christmas day!) But now I know that I can survive failures without the world coming to an end.

Life is good. But it’s way better if we know we are doing the will of God and living to glorify Him, despite our personal fears and insecurities.

Is there anything that you know God has called you to do that is just way outside your comfort zone? Perhaps it is witnessing to a co-worker or starting to tithe? Maybe it is disciplining your children properly or memorizing scripture? Showing hospitality, getting rid of the TV, getting involved in a ministry at your church or asking someone to forgive you–these are all things that take great courage. But if we never try, we will never change.

As we contemplate this year’s end, may we reflect on what it is that God would like us to change this coming year. Let’s start thinking about how we may be better able to please Him by making a change or two in our lives, taking that first step of faith forward. Let’s show the world around us that we are never satisfied with status quo.

My Personal Christmas Carol

2 Comments / December 21, 2015 December 6, 2017

“Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead,’ said Scrooge. ‘But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me.” Charles Dickens

I sat cozily in my recliner with a mug of hot coffee on the table beside me. This was the morning I would catch up on my Bible reading. Somehow with all of the holiday activity, I had managed to fall a few days behind schedule. I opened up my chronological Bible to pick up where I had left off. I looked down and saw that I was starting Ephesians. What I didn’t realize was just how convicted I’d be by the end of reading this short epistle of Paul’s.

As I read through all six chapters that morning, several verses jumped out at me, pointing out a particular sin in my life that I had downplayed until I almost believed it wasn’t a sin. Almost. It brought to mind Hebrews 4:12–

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

This particular December morning, God’s word was certainly piercing my soul, showing me a sinful habit that has yielded unwanted fruit in my life. And will continue to do so unless I change it.

A little later on that same day, I turned on my favorite version of A Christmas Carol. It stars George C. Scott as Scrooge and Edward Woodward as the “ghost” of Christmas Present. It’s a great version.

I was working on something else while watching so I wasn’t paying real close attention to the dialogue. But as Scrooge knelt over his own grave asking if these things of the future would be or just might be, it hit me–

All of us have futures that will be that are based on the choices we are making today. Unlike Scrooge, most of us do not have the opportunity to have our future illuminated so clearly before our eyes by the “ghost” of Christmas future. But we do have the Word of God which clearly shows us the narrow path of righteousness and the dreadful consequences of walking the broad way.

So why then do we stay on our path to destruction?

I think it is because it happens so subtly and so gradually.

Scrooge never set out to be a miserable, stingy old man. When asked what they want to be, no twenty year old ever says that they hope to be a homeless drunk or a lonely, cold-hearted woman.

But every action, every choice, and every attitude we cultivate about our circumstances add up and lead us somewhere. And we have a great deal of freedom in determining where that place will be. For some of us it is leading us to miserable loneliness and to the devastating health and financial consequences of self-indulgence. For others, it is leading to peace of mind and strong family bonds.

How easy it is to talk ourselves into sin with a mental promise to change tomorrow. Our pride and love for self keep us careening on the path to destruction, somehow talking ourselves into postponing change. As we read, it is probably very easy for us to think of someone who is really on the pathway to destruction–like a friend who drinks too much or a father who spends too much time at the office but I’d like to throw out a challenge to you: what are the behaviors and attitudes that are leading you to a place you don’t want to go? Where have you decided you are going to do things your way and ignore the principles of God as laid down in His Word?

Of course, the great news is that we don’t have to keep going in the wrong direction in our lives. We can choose to leave the broad way of destruction and take up traveling on the the narrow path of righteousness. Whether it’s an addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, or even to social media, we can make a choice this very day to change. Whether it’s anger, a habit of lying, an unforgiving heart, gossip, sexual sin, or any other sin named in scripture, we can choose, by the strength of the Holy Spirit living in us, to make changes.

God used Ephesians to convict and challenge me to change. And it won’t be easy.

Sometimes change feels downright impossible, but God promises us victory– maybe not 100% of the time (as we will continue to fight our flesh all our years on this earth) but we can have victory over sinful habits. We don’t have to throw up our hands in defeat and shout “I give up!” Check out I Corinthians 15:57; I Corinthians 10:13; I John 1:9; Ephesians 6:10; Psalm 3:8; Romans 8:31-32; and Proverbs 21:31 for some biblical encouragement.

I have had victory over other sins. I know that God not only can deliver me from sinful habits, but He already has done that many times over the years.

And, so as I was reading the other morning, I realized that I don’t need any ghost to tell me about my future, because I have the Bible. And that is enough for me. Because it’s only by being in the Word that we can ever have any hope of real and lasting change–the kind of change that reaches way down deep into our hearts and changes us from the inside out.

Obstacles

9 Comments / December 7, 2015 December 7, 2015

The dogs are menacing and terrifying– much more so than the barking dog in the picture above. Since I don’t get my camera out in the middle of an attack, I have no picture of the actual dogs. But let me start at the beginning.

Around five years ago, I started running and I would always hate passing this particular house. The dogs would run out on to the road and I would try to act like I didn’t care, shouting at them, and scooting past as quickly as possible. But then came knee surgery and that was the end of running for me.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when I decided that I would see if I could get into the habit of walking. Since my dogs love going for walks (and my Chocolate Lab could stand to lose a little weight!), I decided to take them with me. Unfortunately, I need to pass this house where these dogs reside to reach both developments I like to walk in.

The first few times, the owner saw me coming and called them inside. I started to relax when I walked by, thinking she had them under control now.

And then there was the day last week that we were on our way back home. I crested the hill and spotted the dogs. My heart started pounding in fear. I was across the road from where they were, so I scrambled up the embankment next to the road and onto the field to put as much distance between me and them as I could. And then I started walking really fast.

But before I could blink, those dogs had run right across the road, up the embankment, and stood circling my dogs and growling. And this was no friendly growl. I have not been that frightened in a long time. I started screaming at them and, finally, after what seemed like an eternity– but was probably only a few seconds–the owner came out and called them and they left us.

My heart was beating like crazy. I had not been that scared for a very long time. What would I have done if the owner had not heard me? I had no idea.

Now what? I thought about this the whole way home. Would I keep walking? Or just give up?

I decided that I was not going to let a couple of dogs scare me and so I continued to walk, always taking great care when I’d go by that house and yet assuming that the owner wouldn’t let such a thing happen again, as she could visually see (and hear) just how frightened I was by her dogs.

But I assumed quite wrong. This past Saturday, my daughter and I decided to take the dogs for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. As we approached the house, my eyes scanned the horizon for the dogs but didn’t see them. I breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the relief was naive and short-lived, for as soon as I passed the barn, I saw my two formidable enemies standing there. I knew what was coming. I told my daughter to pick up and hold our small dog and I stood there, this time with a can of Mace in my hands, and tried to defend myself and my Lab as much as possible.

We must have been quite a sight there in the middle of the road–me with my flying can of mace, screaming at the top of my lungs and my large Chocolate Lab that may as well have been Winnie-the-Pooh, for all the responding she did. She literally just stood there–which I guess is good or it could have grown very, very ugly.

Just about the time I thought those teeth were going to sink themselves into my dog, the owner came out and called them off. I asked her-as kindly as I could muster–to pleeeease put up a fence for her dogs. But even as I asked it, I knew that it would never happen. It’s just something she says to the people who feel threatened as they walk by her house.

So now I am not sure what to do. But I am leaning towards never walking by her house again. It’s just too frightening and I really don’t know what those dogs would do with their bared teeth, should their owner happen to be occupied.

And it makes my heart sink, because I had been working myself into a good habit of walking until this. It’s so discouraging.

But as I was thinking about this, I realized that most of life is like this. Whenever we want positive change, we will run into obstacles. Things we didn’t count on. The stuff you can’t plan. Whether you are working on a healthier body, a better marriage, sticking to a budget, or you have a goal to be in God’s Word, you can almost be guaranteed that something will happen along the way to derail you– if you let it.

What is the best way to respond to these obstacles? How do we keep from jumping ship? For many of us (myself included) the path of least resistance is to throw up our hands in defeat and comfort ourselves with the fact that at least we tried.

But will this take us to where we want to go? And, more importantly, is this how God would want us to respond?

Godly Christian living is really hard work. It’s full of obstacles and discouragement. But we can’t let that stop us from doing what’s right. For if we do, we will stop growing. And if we aren’t growing, we are shrinking. There is really no neutral.

And so, I have been trying to think outside the box a bit. How do I get past that house with my dogs in peace? I can’t walk the other direction, because there is a dangerous hill where cars fly. That feels even more dangerous than passing the dogs. I haven’t really solved the problem yet but I haven’t given up. At least not yet. Although, I have to admit, it’s very tempting.

But all of us face obstacles. Any positive change we try to make is hindered by obstacles and trials. And so we pray for strength and we keep walking in the right direction. Sure, our best laid plans may have gone awry, but the Lord knows all that. No obstacle or trial surprises God. Even menacing watch dogs don’t escape His notice. And somehow, there is great comfort in that.

A Romp Through the Thicket

2 Comments / November 2, 2015 November 2, 2015

Last Sunday night was a beautiful autumn evening. We hadn’t changed the clocks yet and so the sun sat low on the horizon as we stared at the breath-taking fall sky. We decided we had enough light remaining to take a short walk along the path we have behind our house. Our two dogs danced excitedly at our feet as it dawned on them what we had decided to do.

I have never seen a dog smile, but when we take our dogs for a walk I sometimes think I almost see them smiling. They are never happier than when they are exploring the pathway ahead of us. We think nothing of it and let them wander to their heart’s content, while we walk and talk.

Surrounding the path are corn fields,woods, and brush, with lots of places for our small dog, Belle, to explore that our Lab could never reach. And this particular evening Belle decided to follow her nose into the deepest parts of the thicket.

She is a dog, so she has no capacity to stop and think: Is this wise?

Which is too bad, for dangers abound in the thicket.

Hours later, while we were watching football, my daughter had Belle on her lap. Suddenly she cried out in dismay, “There’s a tick! And another one! And another one!”

My husband and I walked over to take a look. Sure enough, there were several small black things with legs that looked suspiciously like the dreaded disease-carriers.

Ugh. I hate those things.

How thankful I am for a husband who will do the honors of removing ticks (and splinters!) and so I found him a tweezers and he started removing the ticks.

Within a few moments, he had removed eleven of them!

Along with the ticks, he found several harmless burrs clinging tightly to her chin that were making it hard for her to open her mouth.

This romp through the thicket had been more costly than most.

The next day I gave her a bath and found one more tick lodged at her eye. I gathered my courage (is that what it’s called when you do something you absolutely don’t want to do?) and removed it myself. A dozen ticks in all.

At first, we thought they were deer ticks because they were so much smaller than the normal ticks we normally find around here. But after doing some googling and then later talking to the vet, we came to the conclusion that it must have been a nest full of just-hatched dog ticks.

As I bathed her, I thought of the possibilities of lyme or another tick-born disease. She seems fine, but now we will be watching her to make sure. But it seems unlikely (thankfully!), as they were not deer ticks and they are the ones that usually carry the disease.

So why I am telling you about my dog’s romp in the thicket?

Because we so often do the same thing!

We Christians will be traversing the straight and narrow and doing pretty well, too. But then something distracts us to our right or left. Or sometimes behind us. And we stray off the path.

We do have the capacity to ask ourselves: Is this wise? But, normally, that is not the question we are asking ourselves. No, our question often centers more around our selfish desires and whims and looks more like this: Do I want this?

Since we have a whole culture encouraging us to do what makes us happy, we consider that the blessing of man and move off the path into sin.

But how rarely we come away unscathed.

Some of us will get away with a few harmless burrs. Others will find a tick or two clinging to them. An unfortunate few will give their lives for their whims and come down with some terminal disease. At the very least, our clean, snow-white garments will become stained, torn, and dirty and the name of Jesus disgraced.

While sin looks like a blast, it rarely is. And the ironic thing is that while we chase after our happiness, leaving the path of righteousness to chase after things of the flesh (see Galatians 5:19-21 below), we really are eroding our only opportunity of true joy and happiness, which is to follow God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30).

Psalm 16:11 puts it this way–You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Following our own path does not lead us to joy and, more likely than not, will lead us to heartache.

I am truly amazed at the amount of people who call themselves Christians and yet regularly commit these sins, without conviction and generally defending them to be acceptable, listed in Galatians 5: 19-21: Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

As if somehow these are no longer really sins.

As if God has changed.

But God hasn’t changed. And we are to avoid these things. Not only to please God but also to protect ourselves.

My pastor said something so profound yesterday about this whole topic of sin in our lives. It is something we should all consider as we leave the path of holiness and righteousness to chase after our dreams in the thicket:

Holiness always comes before joy and happiness.

Always.

Compromise with the world will not lead to happiness. Sleeping with that co-worker will not make us happy. Getting a different husband or wife will not make us happy. Getting drunk will not make us happy. Neither will cheating on our taxes, lying to stay out of trouble, or filling our minds with ungodly entertainment.

But following God whole-heartedly? Staying on the straight and narrow path? That is how we experience true joy and happiness.

Which is such a wonderful truth, isn’t it? God has designed it so that, in pleasing Him in all that we do, we actually are at our most joyous, happiest selves. True believers are not sad that they can’t join the world or participate in all its “fun” because we see it for what it is.

I love that God loves us and cares enough about us to bring us true peace and joy in following hard after Him. What a gracious and kind God we serve.

So let’s stay far from the thicket. Whatever beckons from the deep underbrush will never be worth the price we pay for it. Instead let’s keep our feet on the path of righteousness, living a life of godliness and purity, setting a glowing example for those who are following after us.

Finding Peace

2 Comments / October 26, 2015 October 26, 2015

Peace is hard enough to find in the best of times. But when tragedy strikes, it can feel impossible. Just yesterday I read of the terrible thing that occurred at the Oklahoma State University homecoming parade and the group prayer that followed at the football game. There is something in us that seeks for the peace we know only comes from God when something awful happens. Even atheists and agnostics will send up vague prayers, begging for God’s grace and mercy in the midst of a calamity.

But there is only one way of actually experiencing the peace that God promises us in the Bible. Only one.

As some of you already know, my brother pastors a small church. A few weeks ago terrible tragedy hit their small congregation. Because it is such a close-knit group, the loss of any is felt acutely. But perhaps even more so when one is removed so suddenly and tragically.

It was just a normal morning. A man from their congregation was traveling with his oldest son to a special event. Little did his wife know that it would be the last time she would see him this side of heaven. There was a terrible car accident that ended the life of her husband. Her son, left with a serious brain injury, was not expected to live.

Many, many people prayed and asked God to spare this teenager. In what seemed a miraculous turn of events, her son went from being at death’s door to being released from the hospital only a week later. The doctors and nurses have shared their amazement and disbelief with the family. They had told his mother to prepare for his death when he first arrived at the hospital. It is truly an awesome blessing from God.

And yet, there is still the devastating loss of his father–a godly man who loved the Lord and led his family well. He was not only a wonderful husband and father, but a vibrant Christian testimony in his workplace and community. He was also a dear friend of my brother’s.

How in the world do we find peace in such the midst of such heart-wrenching circumstances?

During the course of the week, my brother, Pastor Dean, wrote some update emails to an ever-growing list of recipients regarding this dear family. One of the emails was so profound–so helpful– in answering this very question, I asked him if I could share it here. My brother loves the Word of God and this is not his family’s first taste of tragedy. His counsel, straight from the Word of God, may not be the popular answer of the day but it is truth–

I am truly astounded at the recovery of {the son} – it is almost miraculous (those of you who know me, know I don’t use that word lightly!). We abundantly thank the Lord for restoring him to us. But we also mourn the death of our brother in Christ, Mark. I know for me, the mornings have been the most difficult, just when I wake up. It is of great importance that we, like David, encourage ourselves in the Lord our God (1 Sam. 30:6). We deal with an event like this either in faith or unbelief. The difference is not in whether or not we weep, but whether or not we trust the Lord and His eternal and perfect promises. He is the Rock, immovable and unchanging, and those who find refuge in Him (that is in His written Word and in Christ), will never be moved. To see examples of how David encouraged himself in the Lord, see Psalm 18 and 27. We must call upon Him, submit to Him, trust Him, and obey Him on the basis of what He has said to us in His Word. As believers in Christ we do not weep as those who have no hope (1 Thess. 4:13-17).

But there are some who are reading this e-mail who do not have the peace of God because they do not have the God of peace. You cannot have the peace of God without being reconciled to Him through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:15-23). The reason we do not have peace is because we are sinners, rebels against God and His truth (Ps. 2:1-3). We disobey His commands and refuse to believe His Word. The result is death . . . and restlessness – “There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked” Is. 57:21. The first problem is that people do not think of themselves as wicked, but the Bible informs us that we all are wicked from birth (Ps. 51:5; 58:3). Not only do we sin, but we are incapable of doing anything that is good in God’s sight (Romans 3:10-19; 8:8). There is only one way to be reconciled to God, according to His Word (John 14:6) . . . it is through His Son Jesus Christ, who, as the Son of God, was sent by God to fulfill the Law on our behalf and be our Substitute by dying in our place (read Isaiah 53 – a prophecy about the Messiah written 700 years before Christ died on the Cross). When we call upon the Lord through Jesus Christ, confessing our sins and repenting from our sins, we are forgiven and reconciled to God (“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” – Rom. 5:1). Apart from faith in Christ, there is no hope for the sinner: “When a wicked man dies, his expectation shall perish, and the hope of unjust men perishes” (Prov.11:7). There is no ritual, there is no form of meditation, there is no pill, there is no action that you can take that will give you eternal peace – a peace that only God gives to His children who are born again through faith in Christ.

For those who do not know Christ, my prayer is that this day, they would call upon the Lord in faith. For those who know Him, my prayer for you is that of Paul’s for the Ephesian believers in Ephesians 3:14-21:

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

Lessons from A Phone Bill

2 Comments / October 22, 2015 October 22, 2015

About a month ago, I received an email that our business cell phone account had used all of its shared data. This was quite unusual, but since I literally hate to make phone calls to the customer service departments of large companies, I decided on a “wait and see what happens” approach.

And then a few days ago, in the middle of the following billing cycle, I received another one of those warnings. So at this point, I knew that I needed to make that dreaded call to get to the bottom of the “mysteriously disappearing data.”

I dialed the number and after pushing several numbers to get to a real, live person, I was pleasantly surprised to be connected to an English speaker that I was actually able to understand. She was quite friendly as I shared my problem and we started going over the bill together. She blamed the problem on an unauthorized change to our account that had happened almost a year ago and started trying to fix it. While I had my doubts that this was actually the cause of the “mysteriously disappearing data”, I also realized that this problem did need to be fixed so I let her do her thing. However, she didn’t really seem to know what she was doing exactly and I grew just a little more nervous as the minutes–very long minutes— ticked by.

After I had been on the call for over an hour, I finally told her that I had to go and asked if she would call me back or email me when she had sorted through it all. A half hour later I received a rather unsatisfactory email from her. A few moments after that, I received another notice that our data was almost 100% used up.

*Sigh*

Obviously, whatever she had done had not solved the problem.

I really did not want to make another phone call to this company. I think I’d rather go to the dentist than make phone calls like this. They are long and time-consuming and generally very frustrating. I put it off for a short time. But the next day I decided I may as well get it over with as the problem–unlike the data– was not going to disappear.

This time, I ended up getting connected to a very nice lady who was also quite knowledgeable. Within a few moments, she had solved my problem and then handed me off to her supervisor to get the authorization for a very sizable credit that was due us.

Those two calls were like night and day. Literally. One phone call lead to over an hour of wasted time spent listening to an incompetent representative try to solve a problem that was way over her head. The second call was with someone who knew exactly what she was doing and she solved the problem efficiently and quickly.

This incident brought to mind a few spiritual correlations-

1. We cannot grow or change without a little self-examination. If we just live at status quo our whole lives we will not only remain baby Christians but will also reap the costly consequences of this choice. When we don’t examine ourselves, we are like our company with that phone bill–thinking everything is fine, when, unknowingly, something is really wrong and we are actually paying dearly (2 Corinthians 13:5).

2. Sometimes deeper, abiding issues come to light when we start examining our lives. I had no idea when I called about this more recent problem with our cell phone account, that there was also a completely separate issue going on. Actually, as we investigated our account thoroughly together, we found two other problems along with the original issue. This is true of our own self-examination, as well. Sometimes we will recognize a sin in our lives and when we start reading and studying the Word, other hidden and connected sins will come to light. For example, perhaps we struggle with being overweight. We know we shouldn’t overeat and we go to scripture for insight. In the process, we may come face to face with our own prideful heart as we discover the reason we really want to lose weight. Examination can lead to some real eye-opening moments.

3. Waiting can be costly. While the phone company gave me that nice credit for the mistakes of the past year, life, unfortunately, gives no credits. Emotional and spiritual harm compounds as we live in ignorance and can never be completely rectified. Only the Holy Spirit in a saved heart can take something so broken and heal it, but still there will be scars. It is wiser to deal with our sin issues immediately, rather than letting them smolder in the background of our lives.

4. Make sure you are talking to someone who knows what they are doing. How frustrating my first encounter was with the lady who thought she knew everything but didn’t really know anything. There are so many people who give counsel to us as we navigate life’s problems and yet so many have absolutely no idea what they are doing. So how do we know if they are someone who can help? The first test for me is always this question: Are they taking me to the Holy Bible? The Bible is God’s Word and it speaks to all of our problems. If the person who is counseling us is only using their personal experiences or their own human wisdom, they are probably not going to be much long-term help to the situation.

But we also need to remember that there is no person who will always give us perfect counsel. We are all flawed and born sinners. While people can– and often do–help us on our way, we need to seek our counsel first and foremost from God and His Word.

5. When we get connected to the right person, it is amazing how quickly a problem can be solved. I experienced nothing but frustration until I got connected to the lady who knew what she was doing. Our spiritual life is a little like this. We will experience no true victory in the Christian life until we are connected to Jesus. Until we repent and place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ we will remain separated from God (John 14:6). Upon this saving faith, we know that our prayers will be heard (I John 5:12-15) and we can fully expect God to work as we surrender our lives and wills to Him.

And so I guess that phone bill incident wasn’t a complete waste of time. After all, I got a whole post out of it. But I will be very happy if I don’t have to make another call like that anytime soon!

What We Don’t Regret

6 Comments / October 19, 2015 October 19, 2015

Yesterday we celebrated our oldest daughter’s 25th birthday. That means that my husband and I have been parents for a quarter of a century now– which is almost half of our lives. Now that our kids are grown (or almost grown), we can look back on our parenting with much clearer vision. Hindsight is always 20/20, after all.

And we find that there are a few choices and decisions we made that we would make all over again. Here is a list of eleven things we don’t regret doing with our kids–

We don’t regret the hours that we chose to spend playing games or reading stories, turning our backs on those incessant daily tasks sometimes.
We don’t regret standing firm about what the kids were allowed to watch, wear, listen to, read, and play. This was especially hard and was done amidst many cries of “but my friends are allowed to…”
We don’t regret the many conversations around the dinner table talking about God, His Word, and what being a Christian really means.
We don’t regret the time our kids spent with their grandparents. They have provided incredible support to our family and the relationships that were built with our kids are priceless.
We don’t regret being flexible with bedtimes and mealtimes. This not only taught our kids to be flexible, but provided evening hours to snuggle and play games with Daddy during those long years when he was building a business.
We don’t regret having Daddy lead bedtime devotions. This gave me a much needed break after a long day and Daddy precious time with his children.
We don’t regret pulling our kids from travel soccer and other sports when they threatened to take over our priority of going to church on Sundays.
We don’t regret homeschooling. In fact, that is probably the one thing I miss the most– homeschooling my elementary children. Even now, I can get a little misty-eyed about it. What an incredible joy and privilege that was.
We don’t regret taking our kids to the Bible for any and all issues they faced. This taught them to live by God’s Word and not by what we said. It taught them that they are accountable to God for their choices.
We don’t regret hugging our kids–even our teenagers– when they were really angry with us. While we are the kind of family that hugs a lot, we found out that teenagers can be awkward to hug. But we kept right on hugging through all of the turmoil and hard times. Some days it was quite difficult but we are sure glad we did it anyway.
We don’t regret the evenings and weekends away that were spent building our marriage. Sometimes it was just thirty minutes of conversation snatched after the kids were in bed as we tried to stay in touch in some of those very busy years. Our children needed unified parents and we needed to keep our marriage relationship strong during the hectic years of growing a family.

While we don’t regret these eleven things, there are so very many things we do regret. We failed in so many ways and often we can see the fruits of those failures in the struggles of our kids. We will often notice one or two of the kids following my bad example in one way and others following my husband’s bad example. We were (and still are) so far from perfect and find ourselves acutely aware of it.

And yet, most days I stand back in absolute amazement at the faithfulness of God to our family. How incredibly gracious and kind of Him to fill in the gaps of our weaknesses and watch over the hearts of our kids so that each one has chosen to follow Him. We feel incredibly blessed.

And then to be doubly-blessed, He brought new sons and a daughter into our family through marriage that also love Him.

And, now, life brings a triple blessing. For we are going to be grandparents! Our oldest daughter and her husband are expecting in the spring. Eric and I are so very excited about having little ones around again. We have both loved parenting — all of it. We have loved the baby and toddler years, the elementary years, and the teen-aged years. Okay– we didn’t love the middle school years, but it wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be. And we are loving this time, as well, as we learn to know our kids as adults and are finally able to develop friendships with them. And now to welcome a grandchild into our family and to start that phase of life where our kids experience the wonder of being parents– oh, what joy it will be!

I know I have said it before, but I just have to say it again– if you are a young parent, please treasure every moment that you can. Focus on the eternal and on the stuff that matters. Life is just so short and before you know it, you will be exactly where I am — expecting a first grandchild!

Face Value

Leave a Comment / October 5, 2015 February 16, 2018

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It was so unexpected. I was with a fellow Christian that I had known for a long time. We were different ages and in different circles but ended up working together fairly frequently. I had always assumed that we had the same respect and admiration for each other and that our occasional disagreements and debates were viewed as a healthy part of a relationship.

But, on that particular day, I found out that I was quite wrong.

This person did not have the same feelings toward me as I had towards them. In fact, that conversation showed me that they viewed me as a particularly irritating part of their life. There was no confession and no closure. Just a statement that needed no further elaboration. I didn’t really know them well enough to follow up the conversation any further and so I walked away that day with a shocking and hurtful realization:

People can act like they like you when they really don’t.

For many years after that, I found myself just assuming that most people did not like me. I assumed that I was irritating and that most people did not enjoy my company. Even if someone was really nice to me and I thought I had found a friend, I would hear a voice in the back of my head saying: They don’t really like you. They are only pretending. Just like _________.

It would take a long time for me to trust someone and believe that they actually did enjoy my company. After all, a fellow Christian had pretended to be my friend and it had never been true.

Isn’t it amazing how one conversation can change your life?

By my very nature, I am quite outgoing and outspoken (I can almost hear the “amens” even as I write this from those of you who know me!) It is so hard for me to just sit in a room quietly without speaking. I suppose my parents knew they had a problem on their hands when, as a young child, I spoke my unfiltered thoughts about a lady walking towards us on the street.

I’ve had a lifetime of trying to curtail my mouth. To learn to think before I speak. To honor God with the right tone, looks, and body language.

And I do think I have made progress, in large part due to God’s amazing grace and the Holy Spirit working in my life. I am not the same person I was. But I do still mess up sometimes. I still–quite unintentionally–make enemies. And I still worry about that. Especially when people are so good at covering their true feelings.

But, recently, I believe that God has been teaching me to take people at “Face Value”. I cannot know anything about a person that they do not choose to share with me. I cannot be responsible for their grudges and unforgiving hearts if they do not choose to come to me with their issues. If someone treats me like they like me, then I should assume that they do. If they are pretending, that is not my concern. That is between them and God. I can’t spend my time worrying about it and I can’t make assumptions that may not be true.

And since that first conversation, I have learned a few things. First, sometimes people are just really shy. It doesn’t mean they don’t like me. It just means they don’t know me. And, second, I’ve learned that moods often determine how people interact with me. Some people just aren’t friendly if they have had a rough day. It doesn’t mean that they have some deep, abiding hatred of me.

Instead of focusing on the reactions and thoughts of others (which are completely outside my control), my concern is to treat people with love and kindness. If there is a truth that needs communicated, then it is to be covered with prayer and spoken with much thought and tremendous grace. If I do these things, then I must let the rest up to God.

It’s been a long journey that I am still on, but I keep learning that I need to get the focus off of me and my feelings and keep it where it belongs– on God and His Word.

If someone doesn’t like me because of my stand for God, then I am okay with that. If they don’t like me because I’ve sinned against them, then, unless they tell me, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. If they do confront me, it is my job to be humble and willing to receive the criticism with an open mind.

Relationships can be so tough. We can make assumptions and we have expectations. When we are disappointed or devastated in a relationship, it can really make a difference in how we treat others for the rest of our lives. But God’s Word shows us how to have healthy relationships. And the first step is almost always putting aside our own desires and thinking of what’s best for the other person. (Philippians 2:2-3). It’s painful. It’s so hard. But it works.

Why Crime Will Continue to Rise

Leave a Comment / October 3, 2015 October 3, 2015

Everyone is so shocked when a shooting occurs in some part of this country. We hear of banks being robbed, young ladies being molested, and drug use abounding. And we are surprised.

But my question is why?

Why are we so shocked? I can think of a number of reasons why we should not be. And why crime will continue to rise in this country–

We have brainwashed our kids in the education system for almost 100 years, teaching them that they are nothing but a bunch of cells thrown together by chance.
We have taught our young people that there is no God to which they are accountable.
Somewhere in the midst of the sexual revolution, the general population started believing there are no absolutes. Something can be right for one person but be wrong for someone else. It just depends on the situation.
The entertainment industry has spewed forth tv shows, video games, movies, music, and books filled with all that God abhors. Violence, sexual perversions, illegal drug and alcohol use, and filthy language are not only portrayed but glorified. Instead of our youth learning to work at a job, they are sitting in front of screens learning how to murder and shoot.

When these philosophies started making it mainstream, did anyone ever consider the devastating consequences that would result? All philosophies have consequences.

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out the consequences of a culture that has decided there is no God and no absolutes. Barring unforeseen revival or some other miracle, anarchy almost has to be the final result.

Because what keeps a desperate drug addict from shooting a store owner? What keeps a sexually hungry man from raping a young girl? If there is no God and there is no right and wrong, then NOTHING will stop them. Their conscience has been completely hardened (Romans 1).

It is a rather frightening thought, isn’t it?

If we are a Christian, we need not fear. Many believers before us have gone through awful, terrible times. God has not deserted us, for the Holy Spirit lives within us. He will walk us through these tough times and dark valleys.

If we aren’t a Christian, then these events –like the shooting on an Oregon campus this week–should demand our attention. You need to be asking yourself this question: Where am I going to spend eternity? Because at any moment–at any time–you could be murdered. Instantly, you could find yourself face to face with God. Are you ready? Don’t delay in finding a godly Christian to talk to about this (or feel free to email me at leslie@growing4life.net if you don’t know who else to talk to).

These stories we hear on the news are absolutely frightening. Whether we are believer or unbeliever, may they lead our thoughts towards the eternal.

The Red Glasses

4 Comments / September 28, 2015 September 28, 2015

I have had the strangest thing happen to me this summer. Not once or even twice– but three times! But let me start back at the beginning.

Earlier this summer, I could tell that my eyes were getting worse. I was sad to admit it, but the bottom line was that I had to increase my magnification in my reading glasses. Which meant I needed a new pair.

A few days later, I was out shopping and came across a cute display of polka-dotted reading glasses. I had a hard time choosing from the fun colors, but finally settled in on the red ones. I don’t usually pick such a bright color for glasses, but since I was just going to be using them at home I decided that it wouldn’t really matter.

The new glasses were quite comfortable and so they quickly became my go-to pair for my summer mornings on our porch swing, as I would spend some time with God, reading His Word and praying.

About a week or so after I got the glasses, I was reading when suddenly I heard the familiar whir of hummingbird wings. I eagerly looked up for my little familiar friend and saw her at one of the ivy geraniums in the hanging basket closest to me. I watched with interest until, quite suddenly, she started flying towards my face. She was about a foot away from me, when suddenly it dawned on me! It was the red glasses! I quickly removed them and the bird flew away.

About a month later, the same thing happened again.

And then, just on Friday, I heard the familiar whirring once more as the bird flew directly towards my head. I really wanted to see how close she would come, but I just couldn’t bring myself to take the chance of having my eye damaged by a hummingbird! I know it sounds silly, but when you are in the moment, it’s such a natural reaction to protect yourself. As she moved closer than ever before–within just a few inches of my face–I removed the glasses.

So why did this hummingbird keep coming towards my red glasses? Well, quite obviously, it was because they were red. If you know anything about hummingbirds you know that they love red flowers. I am assuming the little bird got a little mixed up and thought my glasses were a strange type of delectable flower. Can you imagine how disappointed she would have been if she would have actually tried to imbibe my glasses?

You would think that the hummingbird would have realized that just because something is red doesn’t mean that it’s worthy for consumption.

Of course, we often do the same thing.

We see something that is called “Christian”, it looks like it’s Christian, and we even have the added bonus of hearing well-meaning Christians rant and rave about it. And so we buy it. We consume it. And it changes our view of God.

I am thinking of books like The Shack* or Jesus Calling*, unbiblical books that have no basis in scripture but make us feel really good.

When we read books like this (these are just two of the most popular–there are so many others), we aren’t fed real food, but are instead consuming fake food. And, unlike the hummingbird with the glasses, the fake food tastes pretty good going down. It makes us feel special and gives us a perception of God that we like.

But if we compare it to scripture, we will see that these books do not hold truth.

Of course, in order to do that, we need to know and study the Word. We cannot spot the false if we don’t know Truth. I would guess that biblical illiteracy is the main reason so many of us Christians have such a hard time staying on the straight and narrow today. In this world of outrageous soundbites and instant everything, quiet and routine Bible study seems so old-fashioned and maybe even a little boring to some of us.

Can’t you see how clever Satan is? If he can keep Christians out of the Word of God then he has rendered us quite ineffective. We are like waves tossing to and fro, going one direction, then the next, never really knowing if something is really biblical or not. And because we don’t have the solid rock of the Word beneath us, we fall for books and teachers that are not teaching truth.

Jesus warns us that this is to be expected in Matthew 24:23-24– “Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There!’ do not believe it. For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.

There will always be — and have always been– false teachers. One of our most serious duties as believers is to study the truth in the Bible and then to use the insight and wisdom gained there to discern good from evil. We do this for all things secular and religious. The label “Christian” should not mean an automatic stamp of our approval, but instead should make us even more wary.

Oh, how I wish that our culture wasn’t filled with so many spiritual land mines. It’s frustrating. It’s especially frustrating when godly Christians defend books that aren’t biblical. Many well-meaning people love the books I mentioned. And yet, if we do any study at all (see below) we will have to admit that these books are not based on the biblical God but, instead, on some man’s imaginations of a warm,fuzzy god that is much more palatable to our rebellious hearts.

“Red glasses” (false teachings) absolutely abound in our culture, don’t they? How critical it is to keep ourselves fed on the truth of God’s Word so that we can discern the false.

*Below are some links for anyone who may be interested in the real truth about these popular books–

The Shack

http://www.gotquestions.org/The-Shack-review.html

https://reformednazarene.wordpress.com/emergent-church-what-is-it/thirteen-heresies-in-the-shack/

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/blog/?p=12290

Jesus Calling

http://herescope.blogspot.ca/2013/11/another-jesus-calling.html

http://standupforthetruth.com/2013/01/is-jesus-calling-in-your-library/

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/blog/?p=17704