Real Life Stories – Page 11

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Bowling Game

6 Comments / February 29, 2016 May 7, 2026

Last night I went bowling for the first time in perhaps ten years or more. It didn’t take me long to remember why I never go bowling. I. Am. Terrible. Embarrassingly so. I am not that great at much of anything, but I am also not that bad at anything. Except Bowling.

Even after two games, I just could not keep my arm straight.

My husband kindly offered his advice, complete with demonstration: “Keep your arm straight. You gotta keep your arm straight. You curve it.”

I have recollection of my father telling me the same thing somewhere back in my hazy memory. But no matter how hard I tried to “keep my arm straight”, the ball would inevitably end up in the one of the gutter lanes. Sometimes it rolled to the right and other times to the left, but I just couldn’t get that stupid ball to go straight. Whether I rolled it gently or rolled it with all my might, it still ended up rolling to either side.

It’s been like this since I can remember. I am sure if I bowled more often, I might get better (emphasis on the might), but after times like last night, I really have no interest in repeating the activity anytime soon.

Since we played two whole games, I started thinking about a few lessons you can learn when you are really terrible at something.

1. The good things in life are much sweeter when they are rare. For example, I was consistently having frames where I would be lucky to hit three pins. And then around frame seven of the second game, I got a strike. How that even happened, I have no idea, but what a nice surprise! By that time in the evening, it was totally unexpected and extra-special. Life is a little like that. If we can have ice cream everyday it’s not that special. But when it is a rare, special treat, like it was for my father growing up, then it’s extra-special and so appreciated. Sometimes I think our lives today, due to so many modern conveniences, credit cards, and an abundance of just about everything, have less sweetness in them because we are so used to having whatever we want whenever we want it.

2. Pride leads to misery. In order to enjoy last night, I had to release my pride. I am not joking when I say it was incredibly embarrassing. I am not sure how someone could be as bad at that game as I was. I let it roll off my shoulders for the first game. After all, I was warming up. But when the second game continued on in the same pattern, I started to get frustrated. I had to ask myself: Why am I frustrated? It was because my pride was being hurt. It was only embarrassing because I was worried about what people were thinking about me. And then I looked around at the beloved people I was bowling with and realized that not one of them cared how I bowled. Their love for me has absolutely nothing to do with how I bowl. I cast my pride aside and tried to just have fun. I recognize that I am talking about just a game, but I really do wonder how many of us let our pride keep us in abject misery? We grow frustrated and angry and self-absorbed, worrying about what other people are thinking of us and letting this thought process steal our joy.

3. Pride can keep us from rejoicing with others. Our natural inclination, if we are not very careful, is to grow resentful at the good news of others if we are not experiencing the same joy. It would have been much easier to rejoice with my fellow-bowlers over their successes last night if I had been doing well. But because I was doing so poorly, it was a bit more of a challenge. It was much easier, however, once I accomplished number two on this list and cast my pride aside.

4. Our own trials can keep us from being compassionate. When we are so caught up in our own story and our own misery, our eyes focus inward and ignore all that’s going on around us. For instance, last night my natural, human tendency would have been to dwell on myself and how badly I was doing. But I wasn’t the only one doing terribly. Okay–so I was the only one doing that terribly–but I wasn’t the only one not having a great game. But if I focused only on myself and how badly I was doing, then I wouldn’t reach out with compassion and love to others who were suffering, as well. I know that this was only an insignificant bowling game, but I think this is a lesson that can be easily applied to life, as well. When we are in the midst of a trial or our own suffering, we can tend to forget that there are others suffering, as well. Life doesn’t stop for everyone else when we are enduring our own personal trials. And while trials take extra energy and can exhaust us, we don’t want to let them keep us from seeing the hurt and brokenness in the lives of others. Instead of allowing trials to focus our eyes inward on ourselves, we should let them fill us with empathy and turn our eyes outward. No easy task, mind you.

5. Most people aren’t even watching me. After the first few frames, when it was all new and we had just arrived, everyone was watching everyone else, but after a few rounds, we had started talking as the other people bowled and no one was really watching anyone. There were a few frames where I had the bowling ball take its familiar path towards the gutter and catch one lonely pin before disappearing. I’d turn around to see if anyone else saw it but they were busy talking. And it reminded me of something–most people aren’t watching us. Sometimes we can feel like we are in a fish bowl with every eye on us. We forget that most people are so caught up with their own lives that they are not paying attention to our hair or our clothing or the other shallow stuff we get so worked up about. Most people do not even notice that blemish on our face or the spot on our shirt. And yet, we can get so worked up about these things if we aren’t careful.

So there you have it. Five life lessons from a terrible bowler.

The Greatest Miracle of All

2 Comments / February 25, 2016 February 25, 2016

When we think about the word “miracle”, our minds tend to think of miracles having to do with a person’s health, wealth, or welfare. Things like miraculous cancer recoveries, disappearing tumors, or an unexpected check in the mail or bag of groceries on the porch. While these miracles are certainly amazing to witness and demonstrate just how personally and deeply God cares for His children, I would like to submit to you that the greatest miracle of all is a heart deadened in sin that is awakened to new life in Jesus Christ.

I just finished a wonderful book called The Story of John Paton or Thirty Years Among South Sea Cannibals. I really can’t recommend this book highly enough. As many of you already know, I love reading missionary biographies. They have changed me, because they change my perspective of Christianity. You see, when we are in our comfortable homes with all our modern conveniences and plenty to eat, we can forget what many people give up to tell others about Jesus. It can slip our minds that our faith in Christ is to transform our lives and push us to share the gospel with fervor and zeal.

As I read this book, I was once again reminded of these things. Mr. Paton’s autobiography, which takes place on the New Hebrides Islands (now called Vanuatu) in the mid to late 1800s, includes miraculous escapes, nail-biting journeys, and many testimonies of saved souls. There are so many excerpts I would love to share from this book with you, but I decided to narrow it down to this one testimony of a young chief, troubled and antagonistic, miraculously saved from sin by God’s outpouring of grace on his life. Yet another evidence that the greatest miracle of all is a changed heart.

I hope you enjoy reading this short excerpt and that it will move you to pick up the book and start reading it. The chapter is entitled–

THE CONVERSION OF YOUWILI

THESE events suggest to me another incident of those days, full at once of trial and of joy. It pertains to the story of our young Chief Youwili. From the first, and for long, he was most audacious and troublesome. Observing that for several days no Natives had come near the Mission House, I asked the old Chief if he knew why, and he answered, “Youwili has tabooed the paths, and threatens death to any one who breaks through it.”

I at once replied, “Then I conclude that you all agree with him, and wish me to leave. We are here only to teach you and your people. If he has power to prevent that we shall leave with the Dayspring.”

The old Chief called the people together, and they came to me, saying, “Our anger is strong against Youwili. Go with us and break down the taboo. We will assist and protect you.”

I went at their head and removed it. It consisted simply of reeds stuck into the ground, with twigs and leaves and fiber tied to each in a peculiar way, in a circle round the Mission House. The Natives had an extraordinary dread of violating the taboo, and believed that it meant death to the offender or to some one of his family. All present entered into a bond to punish on the spot any man who attempted to replace the taboo or to revenge its removal. Thus a mortal blow was publicly struck at this most miserable superstition, which had caused bloodshed and misery untold.

One day, thereafter, I was engaged in clearing away the bush around the Mission House, having purchased and paid for the land for the very purpose of opening it up, when suddenly Youwili appeared and menacingly forbade me to proceed. For the sake of peace I for the time desisted. But he went straight to my fence, and with his tomahawk cut down the portion in front of our house, also some bananas planted there—the usual declaration of war, intimating that he only awaited his opportunity similarly to cut down me and mine. We saw the old Chief and his men planting themselves here and there to guard us, and the Natives prowling about armed and excited. On calling them, they explained the meaning of what Youwili had done, and that they were determined to protect us. I said. “This must not continue. Are you to permit one young fool to defy us all, and break up the Lord’s work on Aniwa? If you cannot righteously punish him, I will shut myself up in my house and withdraw from all attempts to teach or help you, till the vessel comes, and then I can leave the island.”

Now that they had begun really to love us, and to be anxious to learn more, this was always my most powerful argument. We retired into the Mission House. The people surrounded our doors and windows and pleaded with us. After long silence, we replied, “You know our resolution. It is for you now to decide. Either you must control that foolish young man, or we must go!”

Much speech-making, as usual, followed. The people resolved to seize and punish Youwili; but he fled, and had hid himself in the bush. Coming to me, the Chief said, “It is left to you to say what shall be Youwili’s punishment. Shall we kill him?”

I replied firmly, “Certainly not! Only for murder can life be lawfully taken away.”

“What then?” they continued. “Shall we burn his houses and destroy his plantations?”

I answered, “No.”

“Shall we bind him and beat him?”

“No.”

“Shall we place him in a canoe, thrust him out to sea, and let him drown or escape as he may?”

“No! by no means.”

“Then, Missi,” said they, “these are our ways of punishing. What other punishment remains that Youwili cares for?”

I replied, “Make him with his own hands, and alone, put up a new fence, and restore all that he has destroyed; and make him promise publicly that he will cease all evil conduct towards us. That will satisfy me.”

This idea of punishment seemed to tickle them greatly. The Chiefs reported our words to the Assembly; and the Natives laughed and cheered, as if it were a capital joke! They cried aloud, “It is good! Obey the word of the Missi.”

After considerable hunting, the young Chief was found. They brought him to the Assembly and scolded him severely and told him their sentence. He was surprised by the nature of the punishment, and cowed by the determination of the people.

“To-morrow,” said he, “I will fully repair the fence. Never again will I oppose the Missi. His word is good.”

By daybreak next morning Youwili was diligently repairing what he had broken down, and before evening he had everything made right better than it was before. While he toiled away, some fellows of his own rank twitted him, saying, “Youwili, you found it easier to cut down Missi’s fence than to repair it again. You will not repeat that in a hurry!”

But he heard all in silence. Others passed with averted heads, and he knew they were laughing at him. He made everything tight and then left without uttering a single word. My heart yearned after the poor fellow, but I thought it better to let his own mind work away, on its new ideas as to punishment and revenge, for a little longer by itself alone. I instinctively felt that Youwili was beginning to turn, that the Christ-Spirit had touched his darkly-groping soul. My doors were now thrown open, and every good work went on as before. We resolved to leave Youwili entirely to Jesus, setting apart a portion of our prayer every day for the enlightenment and conversion of the young Chief, on whom all other means had been exhausted apparently in vain.

A considerable time elapsed. No sign came, and our prayers seemed to fail. But one day, I was toiling between the shafts of a hand-cart, assisted by two boys, drawing it along from the shore loaded with coral blocks. Youwili came rushing from his house, three hundred yards or so off the path, and said, “Missi, that is too hard for you. Let me be your helper!”

Without waiting for a reply, he ordered the two boys to seize one rope, while he grasped the other, threw it over his shoulder and started off, pulling with the strength of a horse. My heart rose in gratitude, and I wept with joy as I followed him. I knew that that yoke was but a symbol of the yoke of Christ, which Youwili with his change of heart was beginning to carry! Truly there is only one way of regeneration, being born again by the power of the Spirit of God, the new heart; but there are many ways of conversation, of outwardly turning to the Lord, of taking the actual first step that shows on whose side we are.

Like those of old praying for the deliverance of Peter, and who could not believe their ears and eyes when Peter knocked and walked in amongst them, so we could scarcely believe our eyes and ears when Youwili became a disciple of Jesus, though we had been praying for his conversion every day. His once sullen countenance became literally bright with inner light. His wife came immediately for a book and a dress saying, “Youwili sent me. His opposition to the Worship is over now. I am to attend Church and School. He is coming too. He wants to learn how to be strong, like you, for Jehovah and for Jesus.”

Oh, Jesus! to Thee alone be all the glory. Thou hast the key to unlock every heart that Thou hast created.

Paton, John Gibson (2012-05-16). The Story of John G. Paton Or Thirty Years Among South Sea Cannibals. Kindle Edition.

Why Do You Need God?

2 Comments / February 22, 2016 May 8, 2025

Why do you need God?

The answers to this question were all given with different voices, different words, different intonations. But they all said basically the same thing–

To make my life easier.

Words like encouragement and strength and comfort were used. We need God because He helps us get through difficult times.

This was a dialogue I heard a couple of weeks ago on a radio program. On this particular day the host was asking the question “Why do you need God?” to students on a college campus.

Of course, many said they don’t need God or that they don’t believe in God. But far more troublesome to me were the students who seemed to have a basic understanding of Christianity as a religion and yet didn’t truly understand why they need God.

Instead their answers were filled with the feel-good, me-centered drivel we have all grown quite used to.

But is this really why we need God? Is it because He helps us get through tough times and makes life here on earth so much better? While I am not denying that this is true, I would like to suggest that this is not why we need God. The primary reason we need God is because we are eternally damned without Him. (Romans 6:23; Romans 3:23; Revelation 21:8)

We are born sinners. We are slaves to our sin and to Satan, living in thick, black darkness. But God sent His son to redeem us–to die on a cross for our sins, making a way for us to be reconciled to Himself. We need not be condemned forever, because Jesus died for us–in our place! What marvelous truth! (Hebrews 9:12; I Timothy 2:5) This is what Christianity is all about.

At least it used to be what it was all about.

Somehow in the last 20 years or so, it has become a watered-down, weak, ecumenical, self-absorbed religion that looks nothing like what the Bible teaches.

The intrinsic problem with this change is that there are so many who have been swept into this religion that consists of a god of their own making. When we move away from the Word of God as we strive to answer eternal questions, we leave ourselves open to lies and deadly false teaching.

As I heard the students explain why they need God, there was no mention of sin and no mention of salvation. Instead it was centered around how God helps them in their self-centered agendas. No wonder they get disillusioned later on in life when things don’t go as they planned.

This is an amazing contrast to the disciples, all who were martyred for their faith (except John, who was exiled to an island). But the censorship and persecution started for the disciples even before Jesus was crucified. As I read about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11 last week, I learned that Jesus was walking into grave danger as He traveled to Lazarus, who was located in Judea. By this time, the Pharisees were actively seeking to do away with this Man who was calling Himself God. Of course, Jesus knew that nothing would happen to Him before it was His appointed time, but the disciples did not have this same knowledge. And so as Jesus starts for Judea, the disciples fully understood that their lives could be in danger, as well, if they decided to accompany Him. But instead of turning back, this is what we see Thomas say in verse 16–

Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

The text would indicate that he honestly believed that there was a likelihood they would die with Christ on that day.

This not only shows us just how dreadful and powerful the Pharisees were but it also tells us just how dedicated the disciples were to the Savior. And I find myself wondering: Would I have been courageous enough to follow Jesus? Or would I have opted to protect myself instead? It is sobering to think about, isn’t it?

When Jesus tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23), this does not mean that our lives will be full of flowers and sunshine. Sure we will be blessed with wonderful moments (thankfully!) but some of the places Christ leads us will be terribly difficult and we will find ourselves persecuted and hated. Are we willing to make that sacrifice to follow the Savior? Or will we walk away broken and embittered when Jesus doesn’t meet our “felt needs” or fulfill our worldly dreams?

Are we prepared to follow Jesus anywhere or will we defect when things take a painful turn? Asking this question is a great way to test the genuineness of our faith. If our faith is built on the biblical doctrine of salvation then we will stand strong in the face of persecution. We understand that we need God because He is our only hope of salvation from the sin that imprisons us! And then–as we grow in Christ–we learn that He offers us so much more than we can ask or imagine, but being rescued from our sin is always our starting point.

Will we be like Thomas–understanding true salvation and following Jesus even though it may mean suffering for the sake of our Savior? Or will we be like those college students–living with a vague, partial, and unbiblical definition of a God they aren’t even seeking?

What Your Tips Tell the World

Leave a Comment / February 18, 2016 February 18, 2016

On several occasions now, I have had my daughters share with me just how awful Christians are at tipping. Their experiences range from Christian conferences in town for the weekend to waiting on folks who pray before their meals or talk freely about their faith. Just recently, this was brought to mind again, as one of my daughters reminded me just how much she and her co-workers hate when a Christian conference comes to town.

What is wrong with this picture?

Now keep in mind I have had two daughters who work in this industry in several different restaurants and this is what I keep hearing. The wait staff at restaurants do not expect Christians to tip well. And, actually, they find Christians are often rude and unkind, as well. Those Christians that are the opposite are a welcome exception.

The thing that makes them laugh the most is when there will be a tract laying beside a dollar bill. If we aren’t going to be generous in our tipping, it would be better to leave the tract tucked away in our purse or pocket, as it simply serves to give the gospel a bad name.

Sometimes, wait staff will try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they honestly don’t know that waiters only make around $2 an hour and heavily rely on tips to survive?

You may be thinking that you will never make a difference in the life of that waiter or waitress, anyway. You will never see them again. And that may be true. But we do have the opportunity to either open or close that heart to the message of Christ. If someone later on does have an opportunity to share the gospel with that waiter or waitress, will our experience with them hinder or help that process?

It would seem to me that of all peoples, we should be the kindest and the most generous. Not only are we to be filled with the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as we interact with people, but Jesus commands us to treat others as we want to be treated (Luke 6:31).

So let’s expand this further than simply restaurants. As we evaluate our interaction with those who serve us, whether they be store clerks, customer service reps, repairmen, bank tellers, or wait staff, how do we treat them? Do we treat them like we would want to be treated or do we give a little grunt of hello and then proceed to ignore them, or–even worse yet–to be rude and nasty?

This can be especially difficult if the person serving us is not the nicest to us.

This happened to me a few months ago. Something went wrong behind the scenes and Growing 4 Life was taken off-line. When I called the number given me in the email for an explanation, I ended up getting a rude, unhelpful guy that made my temper awfully hard to hang on to. Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall. I ended up calling a different number and getting it solved, but after it was all over, my mom asked me how I had treated the rude guy, given the message of my blog. As I was talking to this man about Growing 4 Life there was a good chance he would land there after we were done talking, if only to check on it. Thankfully, I had remembered this during my conversation and had not completely blown it– although, admittedly, I could have done much better than I did!

But just as this blog gives a message about me and I have a responsibility to behave in alliance with that message, so our lives, too, if we are Christians, give a message about us–a message that comes with a responsibility.

Many patches of ground have remained unsown because of some thoughtless Christian who destroyed the witness of Christ by their thoughtless, rude, and stingy behavior. Let us be the exception! May we instead help prepare the soil for the gospel message by our kindness and generosity, so that hearts may be open to the good news of Christ.

Our Reason to Hope

8 Comments / February 15, 2016 February 15, 2016

Have any of you been keeping an eye on what’s going on in this presidential race? I guess that’s a rather foolish question, given the coverage this election is getting on almost any outlet possible. I have to admit that I just shake my head at the hopelessness of what I see. While there is an outside chance of having someone decent to vote for, the upcoming election looks to be quite bleak for so many different reasons. My husband is still hoping some white knight will come riding in to save the country. We laugh, but it’s how we both feel. We think of the great country we knew and loved and cannot believe how far it’s come.

But here we are.

So now what?

I think, first, it’s good to remember some very important facts. As believers, we should view the election and state of our country a little differently than most. After all, we are not in the same desperate situation as our unbelieving friends for two reasons–

1. Our hope is in the Lord. Our hope should not be placed in presidents and kings (I Peter 3:15; I Timothy 1:1) but in God Almighty. We are not those who hope in vain, but instead can rest in the knowledge that God not only knows everything that is going on, but that it all falls under His sovereign plan. Elections, wars, uprisings, revolutions–these do not come as a surprise to God.

2. We know the ending. If you believe the traditional view of the book of Revelation, as I do–that it is literal and will take place here on earth–then you, like me, will be astonished by how this prophecy is coming to life right in front of our eyes. The Bible has to be true. There is no other explanation. While what we read there is rather terrifying, we cannot help but recognize that the pieces of the end days puzzle are fitting together so quickly we can hardly catch our breath.

When I was a child, I wondered how the world would ever get to a point where we could only buy using a mark on our hand or forehead (Revelation 13:17). I don’t wonder that anymore. RFID chipping (which is taking place in humans already for many different reasons) will make this not only possible but inevitable. There is already talk about it.

Way back when, I couldn’t understand how the whole world would see the two witnesses (Revelation 11:9-11). But with the birth of satellites, real-time news became second nature to us all. In fact, we have come to expect to know what’s going on while it’s going on.

And, of course, we could never have comprehended how there would be a one-world religion, a one-world economy, a one-world government. And, yet, while it may not be on the horizon tomorrow or next year, it is most certainly on its way. Globalism is being forced upon us and patriotism is viewed as evil. We are being forced to meld Christianity together with all sorts of other religions. And those of us who are not cooperating are not viewed very kindly. To say the least.

I could add so much more here. If you follow the news, there is so much taking place so fast, it is hard to keep up. The world is changing. And it’s changing quickly. We are back to an era similar to the Tower of Babel– an era where man believes he can accomplish anything and is purposing to do so. Just google transhumanism if you don’t believe me.

So where does all of this leave the United States of America as a country? I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I can’t find any indication anywhere in the book of Revelation that she plays any part in the last days. And, if that’s the case, it would seem that eventually she will be weakened beyond recognition with little part to play on the world’s stage. And we also have to admit that a democratic, capitalistic society cannot exist in a world dedicated to globalism. It’s an impossible combination. As to when and how this all will happen, I have no idea. But the fact that it will happen cannot be denied if we hold to the book of Revelation. Of course, we can hope and pray for revival and for the Lord’s hand to hold off for a little while longer, but to hope that America will return to her former greatness and glory, I believe is to hope in vain.

On a personal level, as we watch all of this play out, we find that it is getting harder and harder to share our faith. Not so much because we are outright persecuted, but because we are viewed as almost sickened in the mind–loony cast-offs that are un-enlightened. This is very powerful stuff–this ostracizing of a whole group of people. And it can’t be denied. For just one example (of a zillion), you can wear t-shirts to public schools that promote Islam, witchcraft, and any other religion–but will be in danger of prosecution if you wear a t-shirt with the name of Jesus on it. Meanwhile, in the church, the name of Jesus has come to mean something completely outside of who the Bible says He is. We have been deceived in numbers I never thought possible. It is astounding and so disheartening.

And so what is our task in these dark days? How do we respond? As my husband and I have pondered this on many occasions, we have come to this conclusion–

We are to focus on our family, first and foremost. We have a duty and responsibility to do all we can to encourage them in their walk with God. Personal knowledge of the Word of God, along with boldness and courage, are going to be critical as we strive to live in a post-Christian society. We believe it is our duty to do all we can to encourage and strengthen our family members, so that we can all stand firm together in the oncoming storm that threatens to knock down even the strongest of believers.

Second, we believe we are called to be a light in the darkened world we are in. No easy task, as the horizon grows darker and darker. It can be scary to speak the truth of God’s Word in this current culture and sometimes we chicken out. I just have to be honest here. But we know that this is what we are called to do. And so we keep trying to shine brighter and brighter in a world that grows darker and darker.

When you really think about it, we have so much reason to hope! The last days are here and that means that we could be rescued at any time. While I know there are many views on the rapture (pre-trib, mid-trib, post-trib) and I wouldn’t go the wall for any particular stance, I do believe that the Bible teaches a pre-trib rapture. Wouldn’t it be incredible to be the generation that is rescued from darkness by a meeting in the sky with Jesus? How awesome would that be? This is the hope we have, if we cling to God’s Word.

But, no matter what is in our future, we know that God is faithful. If we are in His Word and we hold fast to its truths, testing all things that come our way, then we will be able to stand firm in the upcoming days. Hold fast, my friend, hold fast.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)

With Acceptance Comes Peace

1 Comment / February 8, 2016 February 8, 2016

When you get to be my age, sometimes you look back over your past and you realize just how much you have changed in certain areas. Oh, in many ways, I am still the person I was but–praise God!– in so many ways I am not.

Sometimes it seems that all we hear about the Christian life is brokenness and imperfectness and how that unites us all. And, yes, we are all broken. I actually prefer the term sinful. It’s what we are and it is how we are born. But there is some victory over the years in the life of a servant of God who truly desires to obey the Word of God. I’d like to share one of those small victories with you today. I am not sure I was even aware of it until a conversation took place a few weeks ago.

This person was not happy with their circumstances. They kept reminding me of how unfair it all was and questioning why life wasn’t going a bit more according to their plan.

As I listened, vague memories of my own dissatisfaction with my life circumstances came to my mind. I remembered feeling much the same way about my life situation when I was a young wife with a houseful of small children and a workaholic husband. If you remember, we were building a business. And businesses take hours and hours and hours. My husband has never worked less than 55 hours a week. Many times it was more. (It probably still is). And, of course, in the beginning years, there was little money to show for it. It was a lot of hours for little reward.

I could feel myself growing slightly resentful. I’d hear of things other husbands were doing and how they were able to help their wives and I’d think to myself: That’s just not fair.

But somewhere in that time of my life when I could have grown bitter and resentful over this, the Lord opened my eyes to a wonderful truth–

With acceptance comes peace.

This particular phrase was coined by Elisabeth Elliot. I am using it because it is the simplest, most profound way to say what I learned.

My life was my life. I was not changing my husband. I knew enough to know that. So I could choose to be joyful in my circumstances or I could choose to be a miserable grump. The choice was all mine. And the ramifications of that choice would ripple out across my family.

As I understood this more fully, I came to understand that the only thing I could change was me. Was I so arrogant as to believe that I somehow I had it all together? Did I think my husband had it so easy to be married to me?

Yes, as the Lord opened my eyes to accepting my circumstances, he also opened my eyes to my own bad attitudes, unkind words, and impatience. And it was not a pretty sight.

As I started climbing out of the pit that complaining and dissatisfaction had kept me in, I started realizing just how good I had it. Sure, my husband worked long hours but he loved his family. He was there for the kids whenever he possibly could be, making it to more games and events of theirs than most dads who don’t work those same hours. We had winters together–a few quiet months each year to catch our breath and regroup as a family.

As I started to focus on the positive and not the negative, our family life changed. As I started focusing on fixing myself instead of fixing my husband, our marriage changed.

Oh, I’d like to say I never experienced defeat in this area again, but, of course, life isn’t like that. But remembering that accepting my circumstances is the key to peace (and joy, too) in my life has helped me navigate many an unfair circumstance in my life. That lesson I learned as a young mom has helped me through many difficult times.

Let’s face it–we could all have a reason to be dissatisfied with our lot in life in one way or another. And if the thing we struggle with could be fixed tomorrow, we’d find something else to be unhappy about. It is the very nature of our humanity. We actually have to work against our selfish nature to rise above it and reach acceptance.

Now, let me just add this one thing–

Acceptance is not the same thing as resignation.

Accepting our circumstances does not mean we resign ourselves to the fact that our circumstances will never change. We still pray and ask the Lord to convict those who need to change. We ask Him to turn hearts to Him or to work in an area of our life or someone else’s life that needs changed. Oh, how we neglect the power of God to change people when we don’t get on our knees with diligence and perseverance.

But while we wait for God to work, we have to accept His timing and His sovereignty in the situation and work on our own selves–humbly recognizing our own sinfulness and need for growth.

Yes, this can all be extremely difficult, but the sweet and abundant fruit we yield when we do so is so much different than the bitter, ugly fruit we yield when we don’t.

And, so, there is some victory in the life of a believer truly dedicated to God and His Word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 is so true, isn’t it? —

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, ¹⁷that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

The Word of God will change us–but only if we spend time studying it with a humble and yielded heart.

Love and Snakes

19 Comments / February 4, 2016 February 4, 2016

Once upon a time there was a young husband. His wife hated snakes with a passion. Deeply. And fully. This young man told his family just how much he loved his wife. He told his friends how much he loved his young wife. And he told his wife how much he loved her.

But one day the young wife came home to find a small snake statue sitting on her coffee table.

“What is this?” she demanded.

“Oh, I know you don’t like snakes but honey this is just a tiny, little statue. It’s not a big deal,” He rubbed her shoulders as he spoke, whispering the words soothingly.

The young wife relaxed a bit, still eyeing the statue doubtfully. She spent the next few days trying to ignore it. But every time she walked by she saw it’s beady marble eyes staring at her and she shivered. And that was when she started to doubt her husband’s love just a little.

Over the course of the next year, the husband brought more and more snakes into the house, rationalizing and explaining them away to his young wife, until one day he wall-papered their bedroom with photos of them.

The young women, unsuspecting, walked into the room after a long day and gave a little scream of shock. Her husband’s argument had always been that he doesn’t have any live snakes in their house. But no matter how he rationalized with her, she now realized that he didn’t really love her at all, but only said he did. The snakes covering their bedroom walls made that perfectly clear. For no man who truly loved her would make her live immersed in and surrounded by something that she abhorred.

That wasn’t love.

The end.

My brother, Pastor Dean, gives this illustration to explain the inconsistency of saying with our mouths that we love the Lord and yet then filling our hearts and minds with the things He hates.

My dear readers, I have a heavy, heavy burden over the entertainment blindness that is in the church. As if somehow entertainment is excluded from our call to purity and holiness. How has Satan so tricked us into believing that we can say we love the Lord and yet fill our eyes, ears, brains, and hearts with the things God abhors?

We find these things in Galatians 5:19-21–

¹⁹Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,^[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹envy, murders,^[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

And Colossians 3:5-8–

Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. ⁶Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, ⁷in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. ⁸But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

There are many more places in scripture that show us the things we are to eradicate when we become saved. We have left the darkness and walked into the light. So why do we think it’s just fine to bring the darkness into our homes and cars and lives, as if not doing the actual sin ourselves somehow makes it all okay? Why do we want to?

Sorcery

Sexual Immorality

Violence

Crude Language

Funny thing is–or should I say the tragic thing is–not only are Christians watching these things but they are defending them under the guise of Christian liberty. They are are actually rationalizing and explaining away why it is okay to fill our minds with the things God hates.

This has been one of the biggest puzzles I have tried to understand as a believer. How can godly people who are in a good solid church and in the Word on a regular basis justify such evil entertainment?

I think it has something to do with the hardening our consciences. See, as the young husband filled his home with snakes, he became rather inoculated to them. He stopped thinking about the offense he was bringing to his wife. Oh, his conscience was pricked once in awhile–kind of like ours is after a sermon or blog post about entertainment is pricked, but not enough to actually make changes. After all, he could enjoy the feel of snakes–the look of snakes–and his fascination of snakes without having a real snake.

Let’s continue our story for just a moment. Let’s say that the young man saw his wife’s distress and, finally faces what he is doing to the relationship. Instead of rationalizing it away, he recognizes his lack of love towards her in one eye-opening moment. He starts removing the snakes from the house. As he does so, they start to lose their appeal. He eyes the statue in his hand and starts to wonder what his fascination was to begin with. As he turns it over, he recognizes it for what it is. As the weeks slip by, he finds snakes here and there but he is quick to remove them in his desire to eradicate all snakes from his life. Not only as a sign of love for his wife, but because has grown to hate them like her.

I’d like to share a quick story from my own life about this. I’ve shared it before but it’s been a long time. In the mid-90s my husband and I had a favorite TV show we liked to watch. We’d turn it on and for 30 minutes we could forget the world and just laugh. We enjoyed that and never really thought that much about it. Fast forward 15 years to when the show came back on in re-runs. Keep in mind that in that time, we were making an effort to purify our entertainment and to live out Philippians 4:8–

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

And Psalm 101:3–

I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away;
It shall not cling to me.

So one day I sat down to watch the show. And I was appalled. It was terrible. It was filled with fornication, crude language, envy, and a number of other things that all made me cringe inside. And I realized something–God was working in me! I was growing towards Him and away from the world.

I’d like to say I never struggled with this area of entertainment again, but of course I did. Of course I do. It’s a really tough area of life to navigate.

But may I suggest that we give this area of our lives to the Lord?

The other week I decided to look at the lyrics of the Top Ten pop songs chart for a Bible Study I was doing. Can I just tell you that it almost made me sick? Literally. And yet this is what Christians play on their radios, filling their minds with all kinds of evil. Allowing their kids to fill their minds with all kinds of evil.

Why don’t we care? Why doesn’t it bother us as believers? Those are the questions that I still have no answer for. However, from my own life, I have recognized one thing–

Our entertainment choices and spiritual growth are directly correlated.

Until I really gave an effort to purifying my entertainment, my spiritual growth was stunted.

I know that I am pretty alone on this issue. Our family has learned to take the criticisms and ridicule we regularly receive at not going to the popular movies filled with immorality, watching the TV shows filled with crude language, or ignoring the bestsellers that are full of sorcery. And, honestly, sometimes some of us cave to the peer pressure. It gets really old always having to be the odd one out and sometimes we blow it.

Someone accused me yesterday of thinking myself to be so righteous. At first, I was taken aback. I never want anyone to believe that about me. So let me be clear here– I am not righteous in any way, which is clear to me on almost any given day. I am just a wicked sinner saved by grace who loves her Lord. And I believe that my love for Jesus has to shine through all areas of my life–including my entertainment.

I hope that you will consider opening the entertainment room of your heart to the Lord.

Lessons from a Snowstorm

8 Comments / January 25, 2016 January 25, 2016

To say my weekend turned out nothing like I planned would be an understatement. It started off with a phone call on Friday morning that forced me to change my plans for the whole day. As I drove home on Friday night the snow was coming down much earlier than had been forecasted and the weather reports seemed to be raising the amount of snowfall expected. Our landscape company does snow removal, so I knew we were definitely in for an interesting weekend.

As the snow fell on Friday night everyone gathered at our house and we turned on a movie. But it was not a normal relaxed movie night as my husband, son, and son-in-law kept their eyes on the weather and wondered how they were going to handle such a huge storm.

Three days later, it is mostly over. Although as I sit here at my laptop, my guys are still clearing snow in their efforts to get normal life back up and running for folks. Oh, how I respect and admire them for this. I don’t think I could do it. They have been going nonstop since during the night on Friday with just a few hours of sleep. I don’t know about you, but I know that I couldn’t do that. I am so thankful for the men in my life!

My job is to take the inevitable phone calls, which is always an adventure. One of our secretaries made it into the office this morning, so I am finally getting the opportunity to sit down and write on this Monday morning. My thoughts feel a little scattered, so I am going to try to pull them all together.

The weekend was full of interesting stories and tidbits, but instead of relaying everything, I thought I’d just summarize a few lessons that I learned (or was reminded of yet again)–

1. God is faithful. I never fail to be amazed at how God works out all the details when these days come. We have breakdowns and we have problems, but God is there in the midst of it. Without question. I know skeptics call this coincidence. But really–is there such a thing?

2. Most people are still generally nice. At least that is what I experienced yesterday. Because of the huge amounts of snow, we had run into the unusual circumstance of our normal snow equipment not being adequate for all of our jobs. This meant contracting subcontractors with bigger machines. But most people were patient and very kind when they called to ask about their driveway.

3. Some people are not so nice and they are the ones who remind me that I still have such a long way to go in the sanctification process. At one point, one lady called to complain about something. Her complaint was certainly legitimate, but it was made with such anger and accusations that I had a very difficult time holding on to my temper. I did manage to do so, but I got a little sarcastic and felt quite a bit of glee informing her that I was one of the owners when she demanded to speak to one of them. It is people like this that remind me that I still have such a long way to go in loving others–especially the ones that are selfish and unkind.

4. God answers prayer. In the midst of the weekend, we ended up having quite the crisis. Without going into details, I felt so helpless and really had to reign in the worry and fear that was rising quickly inside me, threatening to overtake me. I learned again that when I am faced with circumstances far outside my control, that I am not that spiritually mature, after all. I enlisted a few people to pray and God answered in an amazing way. We feel undeserving but offer our deepest and most humble thanks to Him!

5. A thank you in the midst of something like this is like a balm to the soul. This morning, before I switched the phones back to the office, I answered a call from a local business that we plow for. As most calls are usually negative, I prepared for the complaint that was sure to come. Instead, they had called to thank us for doing such a great job. Wow. What a blessing! Just a simple phone call, so easy to do, and yet so many of us never take the time to do this. I am thankful that this man did so. It means so much to our guys to hear words of praise once in awhile. We are always so quick to complain but most of us rarely offer a thank you. This phone call reminded me of the importance to express my gratitude to others.

6. I won’t die if I can’t leave my house. One of the things I have had to get used to is being the last one plowed out. Even now, my driveway is full of snow and drifts. This used to really get to me and I would grow a little angry. But as I have gotten older, I have realized that it was just my selfish desire not to be stuck here that drove my anger. Now I just try to be patient and not to be an extra burden that my husband has to worry about. When I feel a little claustrophobia rising in me, I just remind myself that I have people who could pick me up if there was an emergency!

These are just a few of things I learned this weekend. I am sure I could come up with more, but I need to go get busy and see if I can get my life back to some semblance of order! Hope you have a great day!

Fury and Tears

8 Comments / January 10, 2016 January 11, 2016

It’s football time around here. Even though our favorite team lost their final hope of seeing a playoff game a few weeks ago, we will still turn on the playoff games to watch. Well, let me rephrase that–my husband will turn on the playoff games to watch. I don’t mind football and so I will sometimes watch with him. The other night he was downstairs and around 11:20pm he came bounding up the stairs and rushed over to the TV in our room. Turning it on, he explained that it was a very close game that could go either way. Being that this was the end of 2016 Superbowl hopes for either the Steelers or the Bengals, it was more important than most games. Little did we know that it was going to get way more interesting.

With just a few seconds on the clock, one of the Steelers took a hard illegal hit. While he lay sprawled on the ground, The Bengals players made their opinions known to the refs. Some were polite and some were not so polite. The fans were disgraceful in their dismay and disappointment as their team had really just given the game away. You could see tempers flaring and, for a second, those watching wondered if there would be some kind of brawl between the two teams on the field. Finally, the injured player hobbled over to the side of the field and the refs officially announced that it was an illegal hit and the Steelers, tailing the Bengals by just a point or two, received a 15 yard advantage. The refs gave the Bengals a second penalty due to a personal foul and the Steelers received another 15 yards, bringing them into very comfortable field goal range.

The kicker easily made that field goal and, after one last-ditch attempt by the Bengals, the Steelers were able to run off the field in triumphant victory. I might add that they ran off the field very quickly, as they really weren’t sure what the home team fans would do to them in their distress and anger over losing a game.

As they panned the field, one camera settled in on a Bengals fan–a woman fully decked out in Bengals attire. Her face gave evidence of her distress at the loss. Tears ran down her face as she stood there in disbelief. Her significant other stood by her side, trying to comfort her. And then the camera moved on to something else.

After it was all over, I really had to think about those few minutes of that game.

I thought about the wretched sinfulness that we battle every day and the wicked, wicked world we live in that yield nary a tear or even a bit of fury from most of us.

Instead our emotions are driven by things like football games.

Men act like overgrown boys as they huff and puff and stomp and yell and get in the faces of the refs, their anger and self-interest taking priority. Fans boo, call names, and cry. And this is all over a game.

A GAME.

Have we stopped recently to think about how ludicrous this is?

I heard later on that social media was very unkind to the crying woman on the camera. (In a world that seems to be so concerned about judging others, it would seem that social media is by far the cruelest, harshest judge in the world.) But I am not going to criticize her. After all, we all do what she did, don’t we? She just happened to have the great misfortune of a national TV camera settling in on her face so that the whole country could see her distress. Don’t we all get upset and cry over things that are totally and completely insignificant in the scope of eternity? Things that have no eternal value whatsoever? That’s the nature of being human.

But I think the thing that really made me stop and think is the fact that so often we Christians often do the same thing. Oh, we may not have cried at the loss of a football game recently, but I know that most things that make me furious or make me cry have nothing to do with the things in life that really matter. Instead they are usually just an outpouring of the deep selfishness that lies within me–the strong desire to have things my way.

This week I was reading in John 2 (verses 13-17) and I came to the section where Jesus throws the money changers out of the Temple. His anger in this chapter was justifiable. He was truly angry because people were not treating God and His Holy Temple with the respect and awe it deserved.

And I wonder–how many of us spend even a second thinking about the world that has entered our churches? How many of us even care? Do we care if the preacher has stopped using the Bible as he preaches? Do we care if the Worship Songs we sing sound more like love songs from the radio than worship to a Holy God? What about the entertainment being brought into the church in the forms of movies, music, and games?

Do we cry over this? Do we get angry? Do we even notice?

And so we find ourselves in this crazy mixed-up world where it’s okay to get angry and cry over childish games, but if we do the same over the great sacrilege we see in our churches, the wicked darkness of the world, or even our own sinfulness, we will be called narrow-minded and mentally disturbed. And we will be judged and we will be ostracized.

What is wrong with this picture?

But I guess we should be getting used to it by now. After all, we aren’t in Kansas anymore.

How Do You Say Good-Bye?

9 Comments / December 31, 2015 December 31, 2015

This year brought so many changes into my life. It was an exciting, exhausting, and emotional year. With two weddings and the announcement that we are going to be grandparents, life took a turn that I knew was coming but, for some reason, was not really prepared for. I guess it’s a little like when you get married or become a parent–you can try to prepare for what you know is coming, but there is no way to really understand until you are in the midst of the new situation, taking one day at a time.

Another big change we had this year was that one of our daughter’s and her husband moved across country after their wedding. The two of them made plans to come home for the holidays and so only three weeks ago we were waiting for them with great anticipation. We have had a wonderful time with them the past couple of weeks.

But, eventually, our final moments together approached.

We are all familiar with them. Those last few hours of time together. Wanting to make the most of it. But not really quite sure how. Talking about weather and places and people. Trying to ignore the fact that, all too soon, we will have to say good-bye for another few months or longer.

Every hello means an eventual good-bye. For some of us we are the visitors, packing up our families to stay with parents or siblings over the holidays. For others of us, we are the parents and siblings the rest come to see. Whatever we do over the holidays, most of us experience sweet hellos and sad good-byes during this time.

We get together, spending an unusual amount of time together. We try to get along, knowing that we won’t see each other again for who knows how long. It can be a challenge for so many people to live together in one house, but, for so many of us, this time spent with family is just such a wonderful blessing.

It is a strange emotion–this dread to say good-bye to our loved ones but this yearning to go back to the routine of life that we are so familiar with. And we wonder why we can’t have our routine and the people we love in our lives at the same time. But that’s just not how it is. And, for many of us, will never be how it is. It’s just life in this day and age of careers, callings, and desires drawing people to live in places all over the country. And all over the world.

And so we have joyful holiday reunions and tearful good-byes. And we thank the Lord for bringing us together again and ask Him if He would bless us with another visit again next year.

And then things settle back down to our normal routine again and we have to be satisfied with e-mails, texting, and Skype. It’s just how it is.

No spiritual lesson here today. Just a mother’s heart that was sad to say good-bye. Again. Do we ever get used to this?

One of our attempts at a family photo over the holidays…

p.s. Did you make it through the 2015 Bible Challenge? If so, visit my growing4life Facebook page and let me know!