Love

Wednesday Wisdom: The Beauty of Marriage

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It seems appropriate to take a moment and focus on marriage today, as my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like it was just last week that we were two excited kids getting started on our life together…and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. During those years we have grown and changed and evolved into two very different people than when we started. It really is a miracle that two people can love each other and live together in peace (most of the time!) for so long. We are both sinners who still struggle against selfishness and pride on a very frequent basis. Unfortunately, “sinners” do not  magically become “non-sinners” the day they say “I do”.  Both Eric and I will attest that it takes a lot of love, forgiveness, humility, and communication to make our marriage enjoyable. Most of all, the success of our marriage depends on taking every issue we face back to God and His Word, always using it as our guide.

But this is Wednesday Wisdom, which means I bring someone else’s writing to you instead of my own. And so I would like to share a paragraph I found in a book entitled What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? I thought it summed up, quite nicely, the beauty of marriage–

Emotional intimacy is being “naked and unashamed.” To be fully known; my darkest thoughts, hateful words, biggest disappointments, and greatest fears—and yet be fully loved and accepted. To know that I have given my heart to my husband, that he takes seriously the role of protector; that he is careful with my heart. And I am careful with his heart. It is knowing him so well and having such a deep understanding of him that I can trust him beyond circumstances. It is being so entwined with one another, yet so different, that we are like one plant putting off two very different blooms.

 

Dillow, Linda (2011-02-01). What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions (p.89-90). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.

 

Wednesday Wisdom: The Love of God

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Have you ever just stood by the ocean and contemplated just how deep and wide is the love of God? There are few songs that express the love of God as fully as this one. Thanks to the CCM group, Mercy Me, there is a generation of young people who have become familiar with it. If you have never heard it, I encourage you to listen to their version here. It is a beautiful old hymn.

THE LOVE OF GOD

(Verse 1)

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;

The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain:
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

(Verse 2)

When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,

God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

(Verse 3)

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;

To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved); And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.  Ephesians 2:4-6

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.  Psalm 139:7-10

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.  Jeremiah 31:3

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

 

Found Out a Little Too Late

The Color Run, Baltimore
The Color Run, Baltimore

It all started when I decided to start running again. I began getting severe pain in my left knee, but I figured it was just because I hadn’t run in awhile, so I pushed through it. But when the pain became excruciating, I decided to use the elliptical machine for a little while to try to settle it down a bit. About a week before my scheduled Color Run (the reason I started running again), I decided to finally go see the doctor.

He looked at it, poked and prodded a bit, and then put me on an anti-inflammatory, telling me to use it as much as I was able and to come back if it doesn’t get better.

Fast forward four weeks. I took the pills, ran only about a third of the 5K and walked the rest.  And then I came home and limped around for awhile. But the more I used the knee the more excruciating the pain became until I was forced to return to the doctor. He scheduled an MRI, which I had done yesterday. I am now waiting for the official results.

So why do I tell you this? I assure you that it is not to garner your pity, concern, or prayers. It’s just a knee. I can still walk and do what I have to do. I am not dying.

But here’s the thing– every time I sit down, every time I get up, every time I move that left leg, every time I bend or lift or stand or walk, I feel pain.

And I realized something. I have had over 45 years of trouble-free knees that I took completely for granted. I never thought about how well they worked or how much my life would be affected if they don’t. All of a sudden, I am calculating just how much walking a trip to the mall will be or just how long I can work in the garden without completely debilitating myself. Almost everything is now done with that painful knee in mind.

Chicago sang a song in the 80s called “Hard Habit to Break.” In that song is this line:

You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, and I found out a little too late.

That’s just so true, isn’t it? This singer is singing this song about a relationship he lost with a special girl, but we could sing these lines about many valuable blessings in our lives that were never appreciated until they were lost, couldn’t we?

~Our babies and toddlers.

~Our youthful, wrinkle-free bodies

~Our good health

~The financial means to meet our needs and many of our wants

~A job

~Our parents

~Our siblings

~Our spouse

~Our vehicle, or refrigerator, or washing machine, or dishwasher

~Our cell phone

How many of these things have we ever said thank you for? How many of them have we lost and then went on to complain about? Whether it be the death of a loved one (a BIG deal) or a broken cell phone (so minor in the scope of life, it’s hardly even worth mentioning)?

To keep myself filled with a heart of a gratitude, I started a journal about six months ago. In it, I write three things for which I am thankful. I don’t write every day or even every other day. But a few times each month, I stop for a moment  to truly ponder what I am thankful for and to give whole-hearted thanks to God.

Funny how my knees never made it in on that list. I guess I will be writing “working knees” the next time.

I want to appreciate what I have while I have it, instead of missing it and realizing a little too late just how incredibly much I had been blessed.

 

Wednesday Wisdom: 21 Ways to be an Exceptional Dad

my brother and me with our dad
my brother and me with our dad

Last Sunday was Father’s Day. What a wonderful day to celebrate the men who have shaped us and who are shaping our children. I feel indeed blessed to not only have had an exceptional father, but also to have an exceptional father for my children. 

I heard this blog post read the other day and was struck by its simplicity, its truth, and its applicability (is that a word??) to both dads and moms. But before we move on to the article, we need to face a hard truth: it is a rare father that does all 21 of these things. And mine certainly didn’t. But then he (and my husband) both have their own unique personalities and good traits that aren’t listed in this article.  

If we are mothers reading this, then let’s appreciate the good things that are written here and also the wonderful things that may not be included here about our fathers and husbands. Let’s apply what we can and become better mothers. 

If you are a father reading this, then I present this as encouragement and inspiration–not as a source of dissatisfaction or hopelessness.  Be the best, most godly father you can be with the resources you have. That is all God asks of you. 

And on a personal note, in this article the author shares how his father rubbed his legs when he was suffering from growing pains as a child. His mention of this brought one of my own favorite memories of my father rushing to my memory. How well I remember him rubbing my aching legs in the middle of the night, while we talked about what heaven will be like. It is one of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad.  

This was written by father and pastor, JoshMcPherson. You can find his original post here.

I don’t want to be a good dad—I want to be a great dad.

But the longer I live and more ministry I do, the more I have come to realize there are precious few examples of grace in action when it comes to fatherhood. So on this Father’s Day, I wanted to take a moment, heed Paul’s exhortation (Eph. 6:1), and honor my own father, Greg.

Was he perfect? Nope.
Did he make mistakes? Sure.
Does he wish he could do things differently? I have no idea.

But in a land where few men finish well when it comes to the daunting task of fatherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting and marveling at the grace of God in my dad’s life. He loved Jesus, repented often, and poured his life into his two sons. How much more could a boy ask for?

In your life, Dad, I have found a roadmap for my own role as father. So I wanted to take a few moments, and tell you thanks from the heart of a grateful son. Specifically, thank you for . . .

1. NEVER PUTTING ME DOWN

Not once. You never made fun of me, mocked me, or talked about me like I wasn’t there. Never was I the butt of your jokes. In everything you built me up, encouraged me, and moved me forward. You always spoke of my future with great hope. “The Lord will give you great opportunities, Josh. Jesus has great plans for you, son.” This sort of prophetic encouragement every boy needs, and I got it in bushels. Thanks, Dad.

2. RUNNING INTO MY ROOM

. . . the night I screamed in agony from growing pains. I was eight. You were half asleep. Tripping on a toy you went sprawling across the room in your underwear. We both burst out laughing. Then you rubbed my leg-cramps for an hour. I slept in the next day; you were up at 5 a.m. and out the door. You put my need to be comforted in front of your need for sleep. Thanks, Dad.

You loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in.

3. BEING THE TOUGHEST MAN I KNOW

. . . and crying in front of me often. It’s good for a boy to see both. I’ve seen you cut down trees, fix tractors, build things, and tackle gut-wrenching church conflict with unflinching courage and razor-sharp biblical clarity. I’ve also seen you listen intently, hug often, and tear up quickly when moved by someone’s pain or God’s grace. Not the helpless, whimpering, cowardly sort of tears—the genuine, earnest, heartfelt tears of a man who feels and thinks deeply. You cry easily when talking about Jesus, the gospel, redemption, and the day God called you into ministry. I love that. Thanks, Dad.

I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms.

4. RAISING YOUR HANDS

. . . and singing loudly with the church. I distinctly remember as a young boy looking up and seeing tears roll down your cheek during worship. I couldn’t articulate it then, but I knew that you were singing to someone who meant everything to you, who was great and big and awesome and worthy of your allegiance, and who gave you great joy. That is a gift to a young man. You didn’t tell me to love Jesus passionately—you loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in. Thanks, Dad.

5. SPANKING US, THEN HUGGING US

That is a powerful parenting combination that no child’s heart can resist. I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms as the sting of the spank faded and the assurance of your unshakable love filled my little heart. Redemptive discipline is a precious thing. Thanks, Dad.

6. LEAVING ME NOTES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR

Sometimes they were a verse written out you’d read that morning, or a prayer for something big I was facing, or an apology for something said the night before. No matter the occasion, they were always encouraging, full of Scripture, and right on point. This told me you were thinking about me even when you were gone, and were vested in my success. Huge. I still have most of them to this day. Thanks, Dad.

Always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working.

7. PUTTING MY FRIENDS TO WORK

Mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, working on a project in the shop. Every time my friends came over to our house, you worked us like dogs. I could never figure out why all the guys always wanted to come to my house.

But I figured it out later: you treated them like men. And then you’d fire up the BBQ and spend the rest of the day asking us what we wanted to do with our life that would make an eternal impact. Thanks, Dad.

8. READING YOUR BIBLE EVERY MORNING

That is the biggest memory I have: you, at the kitchen table, worn Bible in front of you, studying away. Not checking Facebook. Not returning email. Not reading the paper. Soaking in the Word. Sometimes tears were running down your face. Sometimes your eyebrows were burrowed in thought. Sometimes your head was bowed in prayer. Sometimes your pen was scratching furiously in your journal. But always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working. It left an indelible imprint on the life of a young boy about how a real man starts his day. Thanks, Dad.

9. LAUGHING LOUD, LONG, AND LOTS

At the dinner table. On a hunting trip. Or just whenever. Some of the most fun memories I have include watching you slap your thigh, throw back your head, and roar with laughter. I loved hearing your laugh. Still do to this day. You took many things in life blood-earnest, but you laughed at yourself often. That is a gift that has served me well in ministry. Thanks, Dad.

10. CHARGING ME RENT

You did this the day I turned 18 and was still living in your house. All of my other friends learned to freeload. I learned to work. And it wasn’t done as a cruel punishment, but a teaching moment for taking responsibility and growing up as a man. Thanks, Dad.

You were not living life unless you’re serving others and God’s kingdom.

11. LOVING ME WITHOUT QUESTION OR HESITATION

I have questioned many things in my life, doubted many things, faced many unknowns. But there is one thing of which I have never questioned: your love for me has been unwavering and relentless, dependable and true. It’s taught me a lot about how I am loved by my better heavenly Father. Thanks, Dad.

12. TURNING DOWN SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS

. . . so you “wouldn’t miss the important years.” I didn’t appreciate it then. I do now. Thanks, Dad.

13. WRESTLING WITH US AS KIDS

. . . every night when you came home from work. You were probably exhausted from work, but knew we were waiting behind the couch to launch a surprise attack. You could have said you were too tired. But you didn’t. You wrestled until, giggling and short of breath, we begged for mercy (and asked for more at the same time). Thanks, Dad.

14. FILLING THE DINNER TABLE WITH STORIES OF GOSPEL VICTORIES

These were the best moments ever. To hear of a broken person made whole through the redeeming work of Jesus. My big takeaway from our dinner conversations was that you were not living life unless you’re serving others and investing in God’s kingdom. You whetted our appetite for gospel ministry early. Thanks, Dad.

15. READING THE PICTURE BIBLE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED

And oh, how you brought it to life! When Moses faced the Red Sea, I was overwhelmed with despair. When David stared down Goliath, I trembled with fear. When Jesus rose from the grave, we cheered and clapped for joy. Dad, when you read the Bible, The Story came to life. It’s no wonder your two boys have given their life to teaching others that same Bible. Thanks, Dad.

16. BUYING A HOT TUB

. . . so we could have a place to “hash things over.” Some of my best memories as a teen are coming home after something happened at school or with sports or with friends and asking, “Wanna hit the tub, Dad?” and knowing that you’d never say no, so we could have life-shaping conversations. Thanks, Dad.

17. TEACHING US THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORS

You did this by having multiple mentors yourself and regularly showing us how they helped you. To this day, learning from men around me is a deeply held value of mine, one that has served me, my wife, our family, and our church well. Thanks, Dad.

A wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man.

18. SITTING ON THE FRONT ROW

. . . at church, Bible open, taking furious notes and bellowing hearty “Amen’s” while I preach. In this, you show me what it’s like for a man to be a lifelong learner.

19. CONFESSING SIN OFTEN

You were not perfect, but when you messed up, you were quick to confess it and repent of it. These made me feel safe, like I could follow you without fear. There was integrity in your life, and it gave me confidence in your leadership. You taught me by your example that a wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man. Thanks, Dad.

20. BEING THE FIRST PERSON I WANTED TO CALL

. . . when we found out Ella Mae would be born with Spina Bifida. That was a dark-night-of-the-soul moment. A confusing time. And all I knew was I needed to call my dad. You listened and affirmed your love for us and God’s plan in all the pain. Then you prayed with us and invited us over to the house. We needed to “talk it out and make a plan for this new little blessing God’s bringing into our lives.” I needed someone to tell me that day that this little girl would be a blessing, and you did. Thanks, Dad.

21. LOVING MY WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER

She feels your love, she feels your support. She knows that if we came to you for counsel with a relationship conflict between us, that you’d take her side first before you’d take mine. “I think we love her more than we love you, Josh. I know we like her more,” you’ve said with a wink and a laugh. But it’s communicated the point. And that’s a wonderful thing for a daughter-in-law to know. Thanks, Dad.

I could go on but I’m way over word-count. So thanks, Dad, for loving Jesus and living a life that makes it easy to remember and honor. I love you deeply and am still watching closely as you follow Jesus and finish well. You have lived a life worth emulating, and I’ve been taking notes. May I learn from God’s grace in your life to love my children the same.

For the Graduating Seniors

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One more child graduated from high school on Saturday. Three down –only one to go. Where in the world has the time gone? As I sat listening to the commencement speaker address the group of gifted kids that made up my daughter’s senior class, my mind started to wander (no reflection on the speaker–just on my easily distracted mind). What would I say if I had the opportunity to address these kids? Trust me, I am under no grand illusion that anyone will ever ask me to speak to a group of graduating seniors but it did make me wonder: What would I say to a group of kids ready to embrace life as an adult?

In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that I was the one hugging my friends, saying good-bye to favorite teachers, and smiling for the camera. But it wasn’t yesterday, it was a lifetime ago. And it is amazing what one learns in a lifetime. And so here it is in a nutshell–my commencement address to anyone who is finishing up an education, whether it be high school or college–

1.  Develop a deep love for the Word of God. Let it function as your guide and help for the many tough decisions you will be facing. Make it your moral compass. Many has been the time that my husband and I have said to each other that we don’t know what we would do without the Bible. It truly is a source of comfort, strength, and guidance—like a solid rock amidst the crazy sea of life.

2.  Who you marry matters–A LOT. It will make or break your life. Make a decision right now to only marry someone who not only says they are a believer, but actually lives like they are one. You will spare yourself much, much heartache in the long run. I have seen so many young people make the wrong assumption that the person they marry will eventually be saved or they will change that bad habit, but, while it does happen on occasion, it is much more likely that you will end up in a very difficult marriage. Choose wisely!

3.  Make every decision with the desire to please the Lord.  Whether it be the smallest thing (what movie am I going to see tonight?) or the largest (what career should I choose?), seek the Lord’s will. Rather than trying to gratify your temporal desires now, live with an eternal perspective. I’d like to say this gets easier as you get older, and while in some aspects it does, as long as we are on a fallen earth, this is difficult to do.

4.  Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life has enough big stuff to work through without making the small stuff so significant. This one I have certainly learned (or shall I say continue to learn) firsthand. I have the personality that can get very easily distraught over something very trivial. It has taken many years –and still I sometimes catch myself doing it– to relinquish the worry and frustration over the stuff that just doesn’t matter in life. But I have learned that life is so much sweeter if you don’t let the small stuff get to you.

5.  Feed your mind well. If you spend your nights watching mindless television shows that mock all things Christian, you will never grow as a believer. Do not accept the mindless entertainment of this culture but, instead, think deeply, and then teach that to your children. Choose a church that will help you to grow in your knowledge of biblical doctrine and in the application of God’s Word. And remember–just because something has a Christian label, doesn’t mean it is Christian. Do you remember that verse about Satan coming as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)? There are a lot of books, music, and other media that twist the truth just enough to be completely out of whack. Know the truth, so that you can spot the lies.

6.   Whatever you do, do it well. Some of you know what path you are headed on and some of you are still trying to figure it out. As you choose to go a direction, sometimes God will close doors and make it clear He wants you somewhere else. But whatever job you happen to be in right now–wherever He leads you–do your work heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men (Colossians 3:23). This world desperately needs people with a good and honest work ethic. Be that kind of worker.

7.  Feelings matter but the truth matters more. Be careful not to base your life on your feelings. This is especially hard in a culture where almost everything is based on feelings. You don’t feel like going to work? Just call in sick. You love that guy who doesn’t know the Lord? Just marry him. You don’t love that girl anymore? Just get divorced. You are depressed about having a baby? Just kill it.  But God calls us to live righteously even when our feelings don’t agree. Your life will end up so much better –in the here and now and for eternity– if you follow this advice: Do what is right and don’t worry about your feelings.

8.  Make people a priority. Material stuff is very enjoyable. I mean who doesn’t like a cool car or a new iPhone? But keep people more important than your stuff. Don’t get so wrapped up in texting or the world online that you miss the potential relationships right in front of you.

9. And, finally, stay humble enough to learn from those who have gone before you. Learning from the elderly is not “cool” in our culture.  Youth, and all things young, are what it’s all about. But you will spare yourself much heartache if you take the time to ask godly men and women questions and then listen to their answers. Sure some of us older people can be downright irritating–we know it, too–but that is because we love you so much. Give us a break and don’t write us off completely because we have learned a lot and we would love to share it (at least most of us).

I know I will never have the opportunity to share this in front of a group of graduating seniors, but this is what I would say. I don’t mean any offense to the educational gurus out there, but let’s face it, by the time you are 35 or 40, no one cares where you went to school. In fact, they don’t even really care if you went to school. But they do see how you are living your life. Live a life dedicated to Jesus Christ and by doing so, go out and make a difference for Him. Live with conviction and integrity so that you will shine like a bright light in the midst of a very dark world. After all, that is what really matters.

 

Wednesday Wisdom: Once Upon a Time

family prayer

When writing about the breakdown of the family in Communist China back in the early 1960s, Valentin Chu made this observation: 

“The family everywhere is a man’s source of strength and courage as well as his emotional harbor at times of natural disaster and personal misfortune.  In China it was even more so. It was society itself. The Chinese communists were acutely aware that their control of the people could never be effective unless the monolithic family system was destroyed, along with religion and conventional morals.”

Can you destroy the family without destroying pure religion and morals right along with it? Consider Mr. Chu’s words as you read the following excerpt–

Once upon a time, men were men, women were women, and both seemed to not only be okay with this, but they liked it quite a lot. More than a lot. They loved it. And they loved each other. All in a manner approved by the Southern Baptist Convention, of course.

Consequently, they loved their life. All of it. Not all of the time, maybe, but close enough to seem crazy from a contemporary perspective.

These men and women would come together to build homes; not the brick or wood kind, but the people kind. They would then seek to have and raise children. Many children. As many as they could have…and then they’d want more.

They loved their homes.

They loved their children.

They loved their God, and it was their love of and devotion to this God that had made all the rest of it possible. Life was good.

Older family members were lovingly tended to and taken care of by the younger. Their wisdom was treasured. Little boys and little girls basked in the glow of their stories, experience, and hard-earned depth.

They all lived, loved and laughed together.

They even ate together.

Are you feeling sick yet?

Is this all just a little too Little House on the Prairie for you? Or maybe a lot?

Don’t sweat it; that’s a normal reaction to the sight of God’s plan for families in action from a contemporary secular perspective. It happens all the time. It’s called “improper emotion sickness,” and while Dramamine doesn’t do much for this form of disorientation, there is a solution, so try to relax. We’ll get to it shortly.

This is just a hyper-Rockwellian fantasy spin on history, you might be thinking. But you’d be wrong. And I think you know it already. I think that we all do. All Common Believers, anyway.

We all know that God gave us something of matchless beauty and power in His ordination of the family, and that we, as we tend to do with every good and precious thing entrusted to our care, have profoundly trashed it in every way imaginable (and then some). So we like to pretend that those vivid, detailed family pictures painted in His perfect Word are completely detached from reality; rendered impossible by the “more factual” representation dictated by the prevailing views of the time in which we now live. We’d never say it out loud—God’s Word being “completely detached from reality”—but we definitely think it. And we act accordingly.

We divorce at rates in perfect harmony with the openly anti-Christian folk roaming the landscape. We pursue relationships and romance in the same distinctly unbiblical manners so highly esteemed and advocated by the culture. We know that homosexuality might technically be a problem, but we love Will & Grace. We value children like the culture, meaning: We murder and defend the right to murder innocent babies just as the world does.

When we do let them live, we abdicate our responsibility to raise and educate our children, instead shipping them off to government-controlled schools for Christ-less “education.”

We define success just as the world does, exalting the pursuit of careers, education, titles, cars, and houses well above the pursuit of a large and growing Bible-centered and happy home.

In short, we are the world. There is no discernable, substantive difference. So what is the solution to all of these profound problems and “improper emotion sickness” too?

Is it a new ten- or twelve-step program?

Maybe a cool set of acronyms to help you memorize a new ten or twelve step program?

Could it be a cool new hip and relevant ministry aimed at helping you realize your best family now by repainting your Christian faith with a bluesy, jazzy new perspective?

Nope.

It’s just the Bible. Sorry folks; that’s the only real thing I’ve got to offer here. (And no, I’m not really sorry at all…and you won’t be either.)

Buss, Scott Alan (2011-09-25). Fire Breathing Christians, R3VOLUTION Press. Kindle Edition.

This is the first time since I have started writing the Wednesday Wisdom post each week that I have used the same book two weeks in a row. I am about half-way through Fire-Breathing Christians, the Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution. I find myself wishing that every Christian would read this book.  In a rather quirky and very readable writing style, the author educates the reader on many of the unbiblical teachers and movements of the modern-day church, using God’s Word as his grid.

 

A Letter to My Children

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Being a mother was the only dream I had as a little girl. Oh, I know many women who aspire to be doctors, lawyers, politicians, and peace-keepers. But me–well, the only thing I ever truly wanted was to marry a godly man and have four children. Why God saw fit to make my dreams come true I will never understand, but I will always be grateful. On this Mother’s Day, I can honestly say that my children are an amazing blessing to me. All the work, the tears, the anguish, the angry words, the worry…they have all been worth it. As I have grown older as a mother, I have been challenged in my opinions and my priorities. Nothing has grown me up in Christ more than raising children.  And, so it is with these thoughts that I write the following to my children —

I don’t care what grades you get or what school awards you win, as long as I know you are trying your very hardest.

I don’t care where you live, as long as I know you are serving the Lord with everything you are.

I don’t care what career you choose, as long as you are working hard and are keeping God and your family your top priorities.

I don’t care what you study or what degree you pursue, as long as studying God’s Word is always most important.

I don’t care what you watch, listen to, or read, as long as you choose with  a heart that wants to please God more than wants to please self.

I don’t care what the world thinks about you, as long as God is pleased with your life.

I don’t care who loves you, but only how you love others.

I don’t care what accolades, awards, and contests you win, but only that you are a graceful loser and a humble winner.

I don’t care if you marry someone short or tall, plain or good-looking, as long as your choice loves God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

I don’t care if my grandchildren are child prodigies, I only care that you teach them to love Jesus with all of their being.

Life is short and the choices we make mold the next generation. I pray that you would be bold and spiritually strong and that you hunger for holiness and righteousness. I pray that God would give you a hatred for sin and that you will be prepared to face the battles and dark days that surely lie ahead. You four are such an incredible blessing to me. I am not sure you will ever truly understand…until you have your own kids. Until then, know that you can’t do anything that would keep me from loving you. And I am in your corner –maybe not always saying what you want me to, but urging you to glorify God with your life and to use your talents and life for Him.

I love you all so much.

Love, Mom

 

I shared this post here–

Jesse Wilcox Smith~ On His Knee

How Then Shall We Respond?

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I normally shy away from writing about current events, but recently I saw an interview by a popular sports announcer regarding the sexual sin in this country. He was straight forward in expressing what God’s Word says and yet very loving in how he presented it. I admire him very much. It took great courage for him to say what he said.

Why?

Because, as Christians, our views are not only unpopular, but considered downright unloving and repressive in the eyes of the world. It has become an anything goes world and if anyone dares to say that something is actually wrong, they are labeled a bigot and many other choice words.

But this sports announcer hit on a very important topic in his little speech. It is this: I still love you, no matter what you do, but don’t call yourself a Christian while living in perpetual sin. That’s where it gets tough, doesn’t it?

These people want to call themselves believers, even though they go against everything in God’s Word.

So how do we respond?

For me, it is so much easier to extend grace to those who do not claim to be believers. How could they know what is right and wrong if they have not heard? Many in this country today have only a vague notion of who Jesus Christ is. Many have assumed that evolution and abortion and homosexuality are all quite normal views, because Christians have become so marginalized. It is a sad state of affairs, but a good majority of people do not realize that a Christian world view was normal just a short time ago in this country. And so they are doing what they have been taught to do by our public schools, our talk shows, and our magazines–look out for number one: themselves.  And honestly, can you blame them?  They don’t know any better.

The problem comes for me when people who call themselves Christians do the same thing. Scripture assures us that a true believer will not live a lifestyle of perpetual sin (I Corinthians 6:9; Matthew 7:16-20; I John 2:3-6). YES, Christians make mistakes and may get caught up in something for awhile, but the Holy Spirit convicts us and changes us, so that we cannot stay in that state for a lifetime. If we are doing something wrong, the Spirit’s presence creates in us such an unrest that we can’t find peace until we confess our sin. This is the marvelous, amazing work of the Spirit in the life of a true believer.

So how do we respond to these people who claim Christianity, while going against everything God stands for?

Many of us grow disgusted and angry. How dare they sully the name of my Lord with their profane and ungodly lives? Many of us say absolutely nothing. Hey, if they want to do such and such, it’s their lives. Many of us grow confused. Maybe what I was taught all of these years wasn’t really the right thing, after all, if the whole world says it’s wrong?

Thankfully, scripture shows us in many places what our proper response should be–

COLOSSIANS 4:5-6  Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

II CORINTHIANS 6:14  Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14-15 if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

I CORINTHIANS 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

 I CORINTHIANS 16:13-14 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.

Could it be that God knew our human response is to grow angry in the face of opposition? Is that why the words “let all you do be done with love” is added after Paul’s exhortation to stand fast in the faith?

Note that in all of these verses, there is nothing about anger or malice. There is also a strong recommendation to avoid the company of those who claim to be a believer but aren’t living like one. This doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with them–we still need to pray for them and love them and talk with them but I do believe it means that we do not seek their company. They are not our closest confidantes and we should not turn to them for advice or to share our deepest struggles and joys.

This is a crazy, crazy world. I knew it was going the wrong direction even as a teenager, but not even I could have guessed the deplorable condition we would find ourselves in this many years later. As I watch brothers and sisters in Christ suffer persecution across the world, it is with the awareness that an immense thundercloud is just above our heads in this country.  We are kidding ourselves if we think the toleration that is extended to everyone else will be extended to us. God’s Word is clear that we will be hated in this world.

And so it comes down to this: do we stand or do we cave? Do we speak truth or do we back ourselves into a corner and try to remain inconspicuous?

And if we stand and speak, we are commanded to do so with love. Love for a lost world, love for blinded people who think they are going to heaven, love for those we meet each and every day who have no idea that Jesus can truly change their lives.

And we need to remember that the biblical definition of love is quite different than what the world is telling us. True love tells the truth. Worldly love says any opinion is valid.  True love extends grace and mercy. Worldly love is conditional. True love speaks with kindness and gentleness. Worldly love turns hostile and malicious in the face of disagreement.

May we stand strong but may we do so with true and biblical love!

 

 

The World of Unmet Expectations

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This weekend I had the not-so-delightful opportunity to be on both sides of the expectation equation.

On one occasion, I fell woefully short of someone’s expectations of me. The feelings that arise in that situation — frustration, irritation–come rushing over me like a waterfall.  I chafe a bit under expectations that I can’t possibly meet and grow quickly frustrated before eventually tossing the whole thing to the wind and trying to forget about it. But it does cause some blocks to be built in the dividing wall of a relationship.

And, then, I was on the other side, as well. I expected someone to do something and when they didn’t do it, those familiar emotions came whirling back into my heart and head.  And again some block-building takes place.

Frustration and irritation and wall-building are all routine in the World of Unmet Expectations.

This world is fraught with other dangers, especially if it is a regular occurrence–

–breakdown of communication

–grudges

–anger

–vengeance

You see, we grow to expect certain things. We expect our kids to behave in a certain way, we expect our spouses to treat us in a certain way, we expect our family, friends, leaders, and pastors to do certain things. And the funny thing is–we all have very different opinions of what those expectations are.

Much of it is built during our childhood and what we saw in our homes and churches growing up. Some of it is built from the books we read and the movies we watch. And some of it is simply human nature.

But, wherever those expectations come from, they can cause serious chaos if we don’t make careful effort to keep them as a lower priority than the actual person we are expecting something from.

Let me give an example. Let’s say that I am expecting my child to do something and they choose not to do it.  If I make my expectation more important than my child, then I will place myself at the center of the offense and yell and scream and altogether handle it badly. If I make my child more important than my expectation, then I will focus on what exactly needs to be fixed (if there was actually sin involved) and handle it calmly and rationally.

Many times expectations aren’t even sin issues, but simply two people who desire to do two different things.

I am sure you have heard the joke about the newlyweds who fight over the toothpaste tube. Should they roll it or just squeeze it? Or the toilet paper roll. Should it go over or under? That is all about expectations.

And in those situations, someone has to give.  That has been a hard lesson for me over the years, one I continue to have to work on. When I have an agenda that includes someone else and they have a different idea, then I have to learn to release my expectations wholly and completely–no sarcastic or hurtful remarks, no sulking, no holding grudges.

When I can do that, my family and friends desire to spend time with me. If I can’t, then I become one of those people that they would prefer not to be around–because they can never make me happy.

Think about the last time you had an argument with someone. Was it over something serious or moral or was it just an unmet expectation of relative insignificance? Was it something that was worth standing on or something that was simply opinion?

We need to keep this in mind when the next situation crops its ugly head–which will probably be today, so let’s keep our eyes open, our hearts humble, and our minds ready!

 

Arsenic-Laced Conscience

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Do you remember those old stories of arsenic poisoning? For some reason, we don’t hear much of that anymore. I guess people have found more updated ways to murder someone.

But sometimes in old books or movies, the story will contain a case of arsenic poisoning. The angry maid or the jilted wife would put just a little of this deadly poison in their victim’s food. The victim would start with headaches and drowsiness, perhaps some confusion and stomach upset. But as time went on and they continued to, unknowingly, ingest the arsenic, they would grow sicker and sicker and eventually they would die.

Perhaps feeding the world to our consciences is a little like feeding arsenic to our bodies.

The cry today is so much about rights and freedom. No one has the right to tell me anything. Don’t tell me what to do, what to watch, what to read, or what bands to listen to. And, truly, the Christian life isn’t about rules (sometimes I think it would be a lot easier if it was) No, instead, the daily Christian life is about living wisely. The Christian life is about our loving response to the God who reconciled us to Himself.

God does tell us to avoid certain things, to do certain things, even to think on certain things (Galatians 5:16-25; Colossians 3; Philippians 4:8)  And in His Word we are counseled to surround ourselves with godly friends and not to walk with the ungodly (Psalm 1; Proverbs 12:26) He tells us this because He desires that we live righteous lives. He calls us to live separate from the world (James 1:27; I John 2:15-17) It’s not a popular message. We want to be in the world but I wonder if we realize that one of the serious side effects of  dabbling with the world and its entertainments is that it is slowly killing our conscience?

Think about it with me for a second. When we see two people having illicit sex on a giant movie screen for the first time, it makes us squirm a bit in discomfort. But in another time or two, we have grown so used to it that we no longer give any consideration to the fact that what we are seeing on the screen is a terrible offense before a holy God.

Or, as another example, how about the first time we realize that the lyrics that we are singing along to are talking about doing cruel, horrible things to women or maybe they are about abusing drugs. They could be filled with bad language we wouldn’t dream of speaking and so we laughingly sing out “bleep” when the bad word is sung by the artist. If we ignore our conscience at that point and let the song play out to the end–because we tell ourselves it’s just a song and doesn’t matter–well, it’s like feeding arsenic to our conscience. The next time it comes on it won’t bother us as much. And when an even worse song comes on, we get to the point we aren’t even thinking about it anymore, because we have swallowed so much of the world that our conscience is no longer working properly.

And, suddenly, the people who say “Hey, wait a minute! Are you sure that pleases God?” seem like absolute prudes and like their goal in life is to steal all the fun. But are they really prudes? Or could it be that they remind us of the time when we were more sensitive to sin? Could it be that their concerns make us feel just a little bit guilty?

Or have we allowed our conscience to become so hardened that we have stopped realizing what is even sin anymore?

Arsenic was (and still is) a quiet and unsuspecting way for someone to commit murder. Feeding the world to our minds has always been and will always be the surest way to kill our conscience. A steady diet of worldly music, movies, and books will slowly render our conscience completely ineffective.

It’s not about rules, it’s about wise choices and keeping ourselves spiritually healthy!

The good news is that this is reversible! While we will always have to live with memories and worldly desires, we can reverse this damage to our consciences.

The treatment for arsenic poisoning involves washing out the stomach and the prompt administration of dimercaprol.

The treatment for our hardened consciences is washing our minds (confession) and the prompt administration of God’s Word. First, we need to turn to the Lord in repentance and sincerely ask Him to help us–to show us what is sin according to scripture, not according to what my church or my friends or my family say. And then we need to administer the only remedy that can help us: God’ s Word. We need to start feeding our minds God’s Word instead of  the world.

How much world can you consume before becoming deadened? I have no idea. We are probably each a little different in that aspect. But, just as any arsenic is unhealthy for you, so it is the same with the things of this world.  So many of us try to figure out just how much world we can consume without it being detrimental, which seems like the opposite of what we should be doing. Shouldn’t we be trying to avoid poisoning ourselves?

But, honestly, when I think of God’s holiness and hatred of sin and then I think of how this modern world has been inundated with all of the things that God hates through the vehicles of television, books, and music, I realize we probably all have arsenic-laced consciences to a degree. Even those of us who are making great efforts to be pure.

But God’s Word is the anecdote for all of us. If we fill ourselves with it, He will be faithful and keep us sensitive to sin. How I thank Him for His Word, the only remedy for an arsenic-laced conscience.

 

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