Family – Page 25 – Growing 4 Life

Sympathy isn’t a Substitution for Service

2 Comments / March 1, 2012 March 1, 2012

This quote caught my eye yesterday. Sympathy isn’t a substitution for service. All around us, every single day, we hear of horrifying circumstances in which people find themselves. Oftentimes, they occur in other countries but on occasion, they happen to our neighbors. Sometimes, there is literally nothing we can do but pray, and other times we know the person well, but just don’t know what to do. And so we do nothing but feel sympathy for the situation. And then we forget and our thoughts turn back to our own little worlds. But wait! Is this what God has called us to? Is this how we are to respond to those who are suffering through trials and tragedies around us?

I know when I read that quote, I immediately was ashamed. Natural catastrophes have horrified me. I have been brought to tears over the heartbreak others are enduring because of illness, death, and accidents. And, yet, in reading that quote, I realized that was not enough. Feeling sad for someone accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Most of us do not have the funds or the connections to hop on a plane and help with disaster relief in a foreign country. But there are some ways we can serve others in need– right here and right now:

14 Practical Ways to Serve Others

1. Tell someone who is going through a trial that you will pray for them and then remember to actually do it!

2. Sponsor a child in a foreign country.

3. Prepare a meal or buy a gift card from a restaurant for a struggling mom.

4. Offer to run an errand or drive to an appointment for someone without transportation.

5. Take a homemade goodie or flowers to someone who is facing a rough time.

6. Use Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to let someone know you have been thinking of them.

7. Ask someone about their trial (instead of ignoring it) and truly listen to them if they want to talk.

8. Write an encouraging hand-written note and send it the old-fashioned way.

9. Support, E-mail, or otherwise encourage a Missionary.

10. Find a lonely, elderly person who doesn’t have family and visit them regularly.

11. Offer to babysit the children of a young couple who are struggling financially and do not have family living close by to help out.

12. Learn the specific places (towns and villages) and perhaps even some names of people where horrendous tragedy has struck, so we can pray intelligently for the situations for which we truly cannot offer any physical help.

13. Recruit the whole family to collect money sacrificially and then give the funds to a trustworthy organization who is doing some real good in places we don’t have access to.

14. Use the internet to find out practical ways you can help, such as collecting clothing, blankets, or shoes.

This is just a short list of possible ways to serve. I would love to hear your ideas! I hope this encourages all of us to think outside of our own little world today. Just imagine what would happen if each one of us did just a couple of things on this list. Together we could, as the true church of Jesus Christ, make a real difference.

Matthew 25: 37-40 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? ³⁸When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clotheYou? ³⁹Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

The S Word

7 Comments / February 27, 2012 February 27, 2012

If you are a Christian woman, you are very familiar with this word. You may have chosen to ignore it, you may refuse to do it, or you may struggle with it every day of your life. I am referring to the word submission. This is one of the hardest words for Christian women to come to terms with…or is it just me?

I do not even feel qualified to write about this. This is a constant struggle for me. But I guess if I only wrote about the things in life I have perfected, I would never write anything!

Whether we like it or not, the concept of a wife submitting to her husband is biblical (Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3). If you are a woman with leadership skills and a strong personality this directive is especially challenging.

Many of us are women who naturally take charge. We don’t mean to portray anything negative or unkind. Lots of times we don’t even realize we are taking control from our husbands. We are often so busy organizing and controlling our children that we just start trying to do the same with our husbands.

In our home, this leads to some fireworks! Thankfully, my husband isn’t going to tolerate me taking over his role as leader and so we have had to deal with this word on a frequent basis. I have truly had to give some contemplation to this word and what it means for me and my role in my marriage.

The other day while I was reading Galatians 3:28, which is the verse about how we are all one in Christ Jesus, my eyes slid down to the MacArthur notes at the bottom. And something caught my eye. It was about submission:

Nor is this spiritual equality incompatible with the God-ordained roles of headship and submission in the church, society, and at home. Jesus Christ, though fully equal with the Father, assumed a submissive role during his incarnation.

I don’t know why, but I had never thought of that before. And I realized that Jesus is our perfect model for submission. On the night before his crucifixion, when He prayed “Not My will, but Yours, be done,” He was submitting to the Father, someone who was His equal.

I think perhaps that is where I get messed up. In our culture, submission means inferiority. The lesser person submits to the powerful, greater person. But when the Bible talks about submission it is never about the issue of inferiority. It is hard for us to work through that, isn’t it? Submission feels like inferiority. But if we are practicing biblical submission and our husbands are practicing biblical love, then we are experiencing God’s perfect design for marriage. And it is good.

On this day, we all find ourselves in different places. You may be like me and have lots of fireworks in your home as you work through this issue. You may have this down because you are naturally a follower. You may be struggling because you have a husband who refuses to lead. Or you may have a husband who is unloving and unkind in his leadership. But, somehow or other, we Christian women all need to deal with this word. What a comfort to see Jesus’ example of this as He went to the cross to die for us.

May we be women who never give up trying to grow in this area of our lives, no matter how our husbands choose to play their role as leader. And by growing, may we set a good example for our daughters and the young girls who are watching us.

10 Thoughts on Building a Healthy Marriage

Leave a Comment / February 13, 2012 May 31, 2015

It seems only appropriate to talk about marriage as we approach Valentine’s Day. What exactly defines a good marriage? How do a man and a woman not only stay together but actually stay best friends for life? I have a few ideas gleaned from my own 25 years of marriage to my husband, Eric. We have also had the blessing of observing the marriages of both sets of parents and other Christian couples who have set such wonderful examples. Some of the suggestions I have listed here are still very much in progress in our marriage, so please don’t think we have it all together! Here are a few thoughts on the topic of marriage, in no particular order:

1. Have common goals. It is so very hard to be best friends with someone who has totally different goals than you do. Whether it is how to handle finances or where to live or how to raise the kids, it is important that we be unified in most areas. If we cannot come to an agreement about some issue, it is important to come to some kind of compromise, so that we can live in harmony before the children. Of course, Biblical Truth cannot be compromised, but, if we are honest, we will admit that most of our arguments are based on our own selfish desires and have nothing to do with Biblical Truth. Nothing is more disruptive to a marriage than two people going two different directions.

2. A willingness on both parts to admit wrongdoing. This is so very basic– and so very necessary. Just this week, in separate incidents, both my husband and myself had to admit ways in which we messed up. Instead of sweeping them under the carpet, we thought about the sin we had committed and then apologized. I have to honestly admit that this is very difficult for me. My personality is such that I have a really difficult time doing this and it will often take me a few hours or even a few days until the Holy Spirit has convicted me to humble myself and admit my wrongdoing.

3. A willingness for both spouses to forgive and extend grace. Sometimes our spouse isn’t even aware that they hurt us. We need to forgive each other always. If we don’t, then eventually a volcano of bitterness, hurt, and anger will spill over. Some offenses are much easier to forgive than others. But, according to Scripture (Matthew 18:21-22) we are required to forgive each other–again and again. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness go a very long way in preserving a marriage.

4. Don’t allow our expectations to control our responses and reactions. We expect our husbands to read our minds. We expect our wives to have a clean house and hot meal waiting at home, regardless of her day. We expect our husbands to romance us. We expect our wives to understand our need for solitude. And when our spouses do not understand these things, we are offended. But, perhaps, instead of growing hurt and offended and angry, we should communicate our expectations and then determine what is realistically possible? I know when I was homeschooling, my husband had an expectation that I would keep a clean house. This caused a temporary rift in our marriage because I found this to be almost impossible. My husband had an expectation and I was having a very hard time meeting it. Most of us have some unrealistic expectations for our spouse that, if we are not careful, can build a wall between us. Years later, I now feel like it is a realistic expectation for me to keep the house tidy–at least for the few hours the kids are at school!

5. Appreciate each other. Sure, all of us have plenty to complain about, but we all have lots to be thankful for, too. And we need to make sure that appreciation moves beyond just our thoughts and to our mouths. We need to tell our spouse how much we appreciate them generally and specifically. We need to share with our children how much we appreciate their dad or mom. And we should talk positively about our husband or wife when we are in public.

6. Give God first place in our lives. I feel like this is so fundamental that it hardly needs to be said. However, so many of us forget the importance of this in our busy lives. I just heard John Piper say in one of his sermons that he has always encouraged his children to read their Bible in the morning – even before breakfast. In fact, if there is no Bible, there should be no breakfast…the implication being that it is more important to eat spiritual food than physical food. If we are in the Word and confessing and praying and continually examining ourselves, we will be a much easier person to be married to. If our spouse is doing the same thing, it will be doubly helpful to the marriage. The Lord blesses those who live in obedience to Him.

7. Keep our marriage in second place. Not the kids. Not the job. Not the shopping or the sports or the church. We have a responsibility to keep the needs of our spouse of primary importance. I have really struggled with this and continue to struggle with this. Through the years I have found myself in a place where I would meet the many needs of my four children and let my husband fend for himself. I still find myself doing this, as my husband would loudly confirm were he given the opportunity. But we all– whether we are husbands or wives–need to be thinking about our spouse’s needs. We need to be serving them, loving them, and keeping them a priority in our lives.

8. Surprise each other now and again. Okay, so maybe this isn’t as profound or deep as you were expecting but I can honestly say that some of the best times in my life have been when my husband has surprised me. Taken me outside of the ordinary. We live so many of our days in the ordinary that somehow it is so romantic and fun to do something or to receive something unexpected. Last week, Eric walked in the door with a beautiful magenta orchid in his hand. Just because. It wasn’t a holiday or a special occasion. I love those moments! It is fun and healthy for us to break up the commonplace once in awhile with a surprise.

9. Stick with God’s pattern for how a husband and wife are supposed to work together. Women, whether we like it or not, God has set the husband up to be the Spiritual leader. We are to submit to and respect our husbands. Men, whether you want to or not, you are called to be the spiritual leader in your home. You are held responsible before God to love and protect your wife and family and to guide them with Biblical wisdom. This is a responsibility that I see so many women taking by default and many Christian families are affected negatively because of it. God’s design is always perfect. We may not like it, but it is right there in Scripture (Ephesians 5:22-25).

10. No secrets! I can’t think of one on this list that is more important than this. Be honest with each other. In our marriage, we have made the decision to keep our computers, our phones, and any financial accounts open and available to be seen at any time. We talk honestly about our feelings on almost all topics. When communication is not going on, it is the beginning of misunderstandings, bitterness, and fear. Suspicion and distance and walls grow out of keeping secrets. But light shines on a relationship that makes honesty a priority.

All marriages go through ups and downs. We all hit rough times that we just need to toil our way through. But we can never give up. And one final thought – PRAY for your husband or wife. Pray for your marriage. God is faithful!

So, there are some suggestions. This is certainly not an exhaustive list and I am sure I left out some really important points. I would love to hear some of your suggestions and thoughts about this topic. What has really helped to make your marriage work?

Avoiding Catastrophe

2 Comments / February 6, 2012 April 8, 2014

Yesterday, my husband asked our teen-aged son to start a fire in the wood stove in our shop. We were blissfully having lunch at our neighbors’ house (who also happen to be my in-laws) unaware of the excitement taking place next door.

Apparently, our son had started the fire, watched it for a bit, and then decided to head back into the house to watch a little ice hockey while the fire got going. A little while later, he decided he’d better go check on it.

What he found was a raging fire! Cardboard boxes, unbeknownst to him, were laying too close to the stove and were now in flames. I am so proud of what he did next. Clear-headed and calm, although I am sure with a heart beating so fast it may have hurt, he grabbed the fire extinguisher and found out that those things really do work! He then threw the boxes out onto the pavement to smolder and cool down.

I am here to tell you that had he not gone to check on that fire at just the right time or had he not had the presence of mind to respond to that emergency, we would probably not have a shop today.

Sin is a little like that fire in the wood stove, isn’t it? We start nursing a secret habit or sin and we think it will stay contained and just affect us. But what we don’t realize is that there are almost always “cardboard boxes” laying nearby–they are usually in the shape of our spouse and children, or perhaps our parents, or even our friends. And like a fire, sin will consume anything that gets too close.

Many of our families have been consumed by our sins of selfishness, our lack of discernment, and our pride. They have been consumed by our materialism, our wrong priorities, and our sharp words.

And this is one of the reasons why self-examination is so very important (2 Corinthians 13:5 says Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.) If we are in step, on a daily basis, with God, reading and studying His Word, dedicating time to prayer, we will know that many things we view as innocent personality traits or harmless activities or attitudes are sinful. And these sins become like fires that are going to damage, if not destroy, those around us.

We can’t afford to go watch hockey while our fire is burning. We have to watch our fires constantly, or better yet, not even start them. But, as we all are sinners, we all have hot ashes that are just waiting for a little kindling to start a roaring fire, don’t we? We can never let down our guard. Never.

I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to spare our shop. I don’t know why. But I am so thankful He nudged our son to go check on that fire at just the right moment. May we not even leave any fires of sin burning unattended, and if we make the mistake of doing so, may our minds be filled with God’s Word, so that we recognize the danger and douse that thing as soon as it gets started.

Be a Blessing not a Burden

Leave a Comment / January 30, 2012 April 19, 2016

From the time my kids were small I sent them off with these words: “Be a Blessing; not a Burden.” I am not sure where I came up with it. I think I just made it up. But whether they were headed to Grandma’s, a friend’s house, or a soccer game, those were often my last words to them. Did they always listen to me? I highly doubt it. But, hopefully, it got them thinking about others.

I still say it every once in awhile. And it is actually good to say to myself, as well. Because if we are concentrating on being a blessing to others and making an effort at not being a burden to them, it changes how we interact with others completely.

For instance, if I want to be a blessing, I will be looking for ways to encourage those around me. When conversing with them, I will want to find out how they are, I will ask questions, and I will genuinely care. If I want to be a burden, I will only talk about myself – my opinions, my problems, my issues– and not let the other person get a word in edgewise.

If I want to be a blessing, when I see the other person rushing to be first in line, I will slow my gait instead of speeding up to beat them to the line. Or if someone is holding one item to check out and I have a cart full of groceries, it means allowing them to go ahead of me.

Sometimes being a blessing means just not saying something that might be true. Many of us do this frequently. Whether it be directly to someone or it be about them, we say lots of words that just don’t need to be said. Who cares how her hair looks? Or what shirt she is wearing? Why not pray for their obvious budget or job problems instead of talk about them in a negative way? And sometimes it is not so much that we talk about it (how can we work together to help them financially at this time?) but how we talk about it (isn’t that the third time she’s worn that blouse this week? Can’t they afford anything else?)

Being a burden happens when I think only of myself. If I just scurry around in my day thinking only about me, then I won’t stop to ask someone how their weekend was, care about what they think about my “great” idea, or if they have any thoughts on the new plan I am putting in place. I won’t care if my kids believe they are the center of the universe and act like it on the soccer field. I will stand for my personal rights at all times and never back down. I will buy what I want, wear what I want, go where I want, eat what I want. “No one can tell me what to do,” will be my mantra.

In contrast, being a blessing is thinking about others. It includes things like: Asking those who will be affected how they feel about my new plan before just putting it into place; offering a drink to someone working hard in or outside my home; making my home a haven for anyone who visits; realizing my kids have faults, admitting it, and dealing with it; talking it over with my spouse before buying a large item; saying please and thank you – instead of acting like I am entitled; giving in on the things that truly do not matter in the scope of life. The list could go on and on.

As I write this, my husband is blessing me by taking my girls to the school bus. This is the time of year he gets to sleep in- he works really hard and is up by 5 am most of the year- but he blesses me oftentimes in the winter by getting up early enough to take them, so I don’t have to go out into the cold, icy air. It is a great start to my day and I am always so very thankful for his kindness.

And I wonder how I can be a blessing to someone today? How about you? Who can you bless today?

Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Practice Makes Perfect

Leave a Comment / January 26, 2012 January 26, 2012

My adorable piano student stood before me, unzipping the bag that held her piano books and hesitantly informing me that there were two songs she didn’t know very well. When asked why, she said they were too hard. When she sat at the piano, I asked her to play the first of those two songs. As she faltered and stumbled through the first one, I realized what was going on. She hadn’t even practiced the song because she didn’t like the song. It certainly wasn’t too hard. It was filled with basic notes and timing–both of which had been familiar to her for awhile now.

When questioned if she liked the song, this little girl, a bit embarrassed, was truthful with me. As I assigned the song again and told her that sometimes we have to do things we don’t like in order to really be successful, I thought of how much that is true in all of life.

Why do we have this idea that we can be good at something without practicing it? And why do we think it happens without struggle and working above feelings? Only through practicing – through songs we don’t like, through rhythms and measures that seem impossible, through working up the courage to play for an audience–do we become successful at playing an instrument. The same would hold true of most anything in life.

And if that is true then the following two things are probably also true:

1. If practice makes perfect, then older people probably have a lot of practice at living and perhaps we should listen to them a little bit more often. In the rebellion and casting off of traditions we have seen in the last 25 years or so, I have seen a very disturbing trend in this country. We treat our elderly like they are liabilities, instead of as precious assets who could teach us so much. Let’s face it, the basics of life haven’t changed that much. It is always amazing to me when I sit down and talk with someone who has lived a lot of life not only what I can learn, but how they have struggled through many of the same situations I struggle through…making a marriage work, raising children, trusting in God’s sovereignty, standing for Truth.

Yes, they should be precious to us and we cast them aside in our quest for something new and exciting and different. In my opinion, this is a great tragedy.

2. If we need to spend time at something in order to be successful at it, wouldn’t that mean the same for studying God’s Word? Can we really know it if we aren’t studying? And how can we live a holy life for God if we don’t know what that is? I would submit to you that the only way to know what pleases our heavenly Father is to spend time in His Word, using reliable resources to help us to interpret it.

We only have one life to live. And for many of us, we are looking at the word “elderly” and realizing that in just a few short years it will describe us. May all of us – no matter what age we are — be reading God’s Word and practicing life in such a way that is glorifying our heavenly Father. If we are reading God’s Word and applying it to our lives, young people will notice. And if you are reading this as a young person, then remember –there is always someone younger than you watching you.

May we all strive to be godly examples for a generation that seems to have lost its way. May we be “practicing” life in a manner that shows we are standing on the Solid Rock in the ocean of wishy-washy values and standards we find ourselves in.

Parenting with Purpose

5 Comments / January 19, 2012 January 19, 2012

My four kids in 2003-- where does the time go?

This morning I am speaking at a local MOPS group on the subject of parenting. As I thought about my life as a mom, I realized how many mistakes I have made and how much I have learned. And I thought of the moments we have as parents that are so proud…and the moments that are so devastating. It is only by the grace of God that we raise kids who love the Lord. Below I have included a condensed version of what I am saying this morning, including some resources I recommend.

1. PERSPECTIVE We need to keep perspective on what is truly important. If we are believers, then we only have 18 short years to mold kids who love the Lord with all of their hearts, souls, minds, and strength and love their neighbors as themselves (Mark 12:30). How do we keep proper perspective? I would like to make three suggestions: 1) We need to pray humbly and often. 2) We need to always think about what’s best for our children, rather than get caught up in our own insecurities and feelings. 3) We need to be very careful where we get our information. Look for biblical resources as you face issues with your children. God’s Word must reign supreme. Godly advice has rarely been found in secular books and magazines.

These three things will help us to remember what is truly important as we go about the job of raising kids.

2. PLAN We need to stop parenting out of convenience and reaction. We need to carefully plan each of the following:

–Conversations: use conversation starters like, “What’s your favorite song?” , “Why do you think that person did that bad thing?” or “What scares you the most and why?”

–Activities: When I over-scheduled myself and my children, I would end up short-tempered, with irritable kids, a messy house, and an unhappy husband. I eventually learned that the strife wasn’t worth it. We need to carefully plan our activities and only do the things that are truly important.

–Entertainment: This encompasses so much of our lives. It includes TV shows, movies, music, and video games. We should give great care and thought to, not only on what we allow them to watch and play, but also how often. We should be encouraging our children to be producers (creating, imagining, and building) rather than consumers (watching).

–Chores: We should be actively involving our children in the work around the house, so that they are learning self-discipline and the sense of accomplishment that comes along with hard work. We want to raise adults who are willing to serve others. This starts at home with chores.

3. PRAISE and PUNISHMENT It is important to establish parental authority in our homes when our children are young. It will not get easier as they get older. While listening to our children’s thoughts and feelings on matters is important and even, on occasion, may lead us to change our minds on an issue, we need to be the authority in our homes, as God designed.

We need to be very careful in our use of praise and punishment. Neither should be overdone. Punishment should only be for defiance and not for accidents. It should be thought out and never be born out of our split-second angry reaction. Ha! I write this and I know that I still struggle with this. Angry reactions are what comes natural to me. “Give me your ipod! I am keeping it for a year!” Thankfully, my husband usually helps me see reason and we develop a more reasonable punishment.

And, on a side note, I have never seen a child’s psyche damaged because they can’t wear or eat what they want. However, I have seen great damage occur when a child always gets their own way and believes themselves to be the center of the universe.

4. PROPER PRIORITIES Our priorities should look like this: 1. God 2. Marriage Relationship 3. Children. In many homes, it appears that the children take the number one spot. In fact, I heard Tim Keller talk about this the other day on a podcast. He talked about how the child-centered family of today, instead of being a healthy Christian model, is nothing like a Christian family should look like. Many of us have made our children idols and the troublesome thing is – in most Christian circles we believe this is the right thing to do.

5. PRIVILEGE We need to remember what an incredible privilege it is to raise children who love the Lord! Many are those who only wish they could do it once or do it over. We need to remember how blessed we are and continue on doing our very best even when the road grows difficult and we grow tired.

There is a war going on for the souls of our children. We need to fight for them! God has entrusted many of us with one or more of these souls. May we approach this opportunity with purpose and whole-hearted devotion.

Some resources I recommend:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp

What the Bible Says About Parenting by John MacArthur

Dare to Discipline by James Dobson

Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel

Speaking God’s Language

Leave a Comment / January 12, 2012 January 12, 2012

My worried mom decided to take my brother to the doctor. He was three years old and he wasn’t talking. At all. His communication consisted of making weird, throaty noises that sounded like “gunk! gunk!” and pointing. At the time, I was four years old (we are only 17 months apart) and quite talkative. In fact, I embarrassed my mom at times with my blunt observations of things going on around me.

An appointment was set and off we went to the doctor. After talking a bit with my mom and observing my brother and me, the doctor pointed to me and said, “She’s your problem.”

The doctor had correctly diagnosed that I was talking for my brother, making it quite unnecessary for him to speak a word. I understood his primitive “gunk” language and functioned as his interpreter. When my mom and dad started keeping a closer eye on me, my brother started talking in full sentences almost immediately. My brother already knew how to talk. He just didn’t have to.

As parents, there comes for each of us the day when our teens will start talking in full “spiritual” sentences. Oh, the process may be delayed if we keep interpreting for them, as I did for my brother. We can be tempted to make assumptions about whether or not our child is saved. We often make excuses for our child’s behavior and motives. But when we finally step back and our child starts speaking with his choices and actions about the things that matter, will he be speaking God’s language?

Many of us think our 3 year olds are too young to understand life. We think our 8 year olds care nothing for anything except playing with legos or dolls. But we have found in our home that children do care.

We have discussed a lot of topics in our home. We talked about heaven and hell. We talked about trials and hard decisions we were facing. We talked about God’s Sovereignty and we talked about the debate of election vs. free will. We talked about respect for authority, holiness, godly leadership and consequences of bad choices. We have always used God’s Word as our resource. If it isn’t in there, we can’t stand on it. We have even had discussions of traditions we, as parents, held dear to our hearts, but after discussing it with our family, realized were just that: traditions. They weren’t biblical and we admitted that. And, through it all, our kids listened to these discussions. And, as they got a little older, they participated. Oftentimes, they began some of these discussions with their own questions or thoughts. These discussions continue in our home even now on a very regular basis.

We have seen in the lives of our children the fruit of these discussions. Oh, they aren’t perfect, as many of you can attest to. But as we have let them “talk” on their own, we have seen that they were listening all along.

Raising kids is so difficult. But we can do ourselves a great favor by not underestimating our children’s ability to understand adult topics. Sure, there are some things they do not need to know. But don’t protect them from life’s hard decisions and discussions. If you show an example of relying on biblical Truth, they will see that. Then when we step back to let them start talking with their lives, they will use the Bible as their guide, as well. Are there some kids who are exceptions to this pattern? Yes. I acknowledge that there are.

We have a great responsibility as parents to teach our children God’s Truth. This can’t be done if the only things we are discussing at the dinner table is sports, the neighbor’s dog, and how the party went last night. Let’s discuss the important stuff, so that when our kids start talking in spiritual sentences, they are speaking God’s language.

Just do it.

1 Comment / January 2, 2012 January 2, 2012

For many of us, January 2 brings the opportunity for a fresh start. Some of us have specifically set New Year’s resolutions. But, if you are like me, those resolutions usually last about a month…if that. So what truly brings about lasting change? Why can even people who do not know the Lord change for the better?

Could it be that they just do it? They just make up their mind to behave a certain way and then follow through on that decision? When Nike came out with their logo of “Just do it” I wasn’t sure what to think. But recently, I realized the wisdom of that phrase.

Our language is so peppered with words like “try” and “maybe” and “perhaps” because we are so afraid to commit to change. And maybe that is because we are so afraid to fail. When we make the statement, “I will lose weight,” or “I will stay on a budget,” it sets us up for failure. It is much easier to say “I will try to lose weight,” or “perhaps this is the year we will work on the budget,”. Now, we have a way out. A bit of a loophole that we can crawl through if it doesn’t work.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that the Bible never tells us to try to trust the Lord. There is never a verse that says perhaps we should love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Instead, the Bible is filled with verses of commands we are to obey. There is no loop hole there. Below, I have placed a few verses that I looked up as I was writing this. I didn’t find one verse that gave me a way out of obedience.

So, how does that affect our resolutions? I think it is because many of the resolutions we set have to do with sin issues in our lives. Perhaps we are overweight (gluttony) or we are in debt (money is our idol) or we are wrapped up in an evil habit (spoken against in God’s Word). So we know that these are areas that God wants us to have victory. What are some steps we can take to assure that we succeed this year?

First: We need to set attainable goals. I am in the process of trying to figure out what are realistic goals for me. If we make a resolution to run an hour a day and we are having a hard time even finding 15 minutes of extra time for exercise, we are setting ourselves up for failure. In his book, Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey recommends paying off the smallest debt first, so that there will be some reward early on. I think the same is true for setting goals. Set one that you can actually reach. And when that one becomes a habit, then stretch yourself a bit further. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Day in order to set a goal.

Second: We need to pray and ask the Lord for His guidance as we set goals. It is important that we make sure the goals we set are in accordance with His Word and His will for our lives. Let’s ask Him to give us strength. We need His help.

And third: Once we have determined realistic and attainable goals and we have asked the Lord for guidance and strength, let’s commit each morning to doing them for just that day. Let’s actually follow through. We make it seem so hard. But it’s not hard. It just takes commitment. We just need to do it.

Here’s to 2012 and attainable goals!

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct^[a] your paths.

Mark 12:30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there isany virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Colossians 3: 12-13 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; ¹³ bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

James 1: 2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

James 4: 7-8 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Representing the King

Leave a Comment / December 29, 2011 December 29, 2011

In my last post I gave some ways to make 2012 a great year. They were ideas from across the spectrum of life. Since that post, I have had some more ideas. But only one that I think is important enough to add to my list. And here it is:

Remember who your Father is.

Can you remember when you were a child and you first became aware of the fact that when you did something wrong, you not only made yourself look bad, but you made your parents look bad, too? As you grew into a teenager, you became very aware that your actions said something about your parents. You might not have cared what your actions were saying about your parents…but a message was being given. You see, while we were still living with our parents, we were, in effect, representing their household.

Now let’s think a moment about our relationship with God. If he is our Heavenly Father, what do our actions say about Him? He is All-Powerful and All-Knowing. He is King of Kings. If we are saved by grace, through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are children of this King. We, in essence, belong to the household of God. Our words and actions–if we call ourselves “Christians”–say something about God, our Heavenly Father.

So what message are we giving? Do our actions speak highly of the one Who saved me by His grace, showing deep love and respect? Or are my actions rebellious and seeking for ways to rationalize activities that are clearly spoken against in God’s Word, with no inclination or care towards what He thinks?

Going back to my original illustration, we can see this principle clearly at work in real life. Which teenager represents his parents well? Which teenager shows through his actions that he loves and respects his parents? The rebellious teen who makes unwise choices or the obedient teen who makes wise choices? Of course, the obedient teen best represents his parents and what they stand for.

In a perfect world, all parents are worthy of being represented. But, here on earth, that is not the case. Parents aren’t perfect and life gets messy. However, we do not have the same issue when it comes to our Heavenly Father. God loves us perfectly. Any rebellion or foolishness or sin on our part doesn’t stem from anything He said or did.

And so as we head into 2012, let’s remember who our Father is. In every little thing we say. In every little thing we do. Let’s remember that we are a child of the King of kings! We are His representatives here on earth. Let’s represent Him well this coming year.

I wish you a very Happy New Year!