Discernment

Communication is a big deal.   How we communicate can lock hearts or open hearts.  It can make us look like a jerk or make us look like an empathetic listener.  It can show that we care only for our own selfish agenda or it can show that we care about others.

Communicating is done through many ways, isn’t it?  Of course, talking is what comes to mind first but just because someone doesn’t talk  a lot , does not mean they are not communicating.  Folded arms and a big sigh speak very clearly to the person one is “talking” to.   Ignoring someone says “I don’t care”.   Rolled eyes say “You are weird” or “not this again”.

If our desire, as a Christian, is to be like Jesus, then it should follow that our communication should be like His, as well.   But what exactly does that mean?  Jesus gives us a wonderful example of communicating in the Bible.  While we do not know His body language, we do know that He was perfect.  That would lead me to believe there wasn’t a lot of disgusted sighs or rolled eyes or huffy walking away.  But what do we know about how Jesus communicated?

1.  Jesus was kind.

In Matthew 9 we read of a woman who had been bleeding continuously for twelve years.   She had faith that even if she touched the garment of Jesus she would be healed, so she jostled her way up through the crowd to do this.  When Jesus turned around to greet her, he said “Be of Good Cheer, your faith has made you well.”    He treated her kindly.  He didn’t say, “Don’t touch me!  Leave me alone!”    I don’t know about you, but it is tempting for me to react in anger or sarcasm if someone is invading my personal space (young children are really good at doing this) or infringing upon my time.   But Jesus shows us clearly that we are to think of others and not of ourselves.

2.  Jesus had compassion for others.

In Mark 1, we find the account of the leper.  This poor man has been stricken with leprosy, but he comes to kneel before Jesus, crying “If You are willing, You can make me clean“.    The following verse is beautiful.  In NKJV it says, “Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, I am willing; be cleansed.”    Don’t you love that line “moved with compassion”?  Jesus truly cared about that man.  Can you understand how unloved and cast out lepers were?  They were the scum of the earth in the days of Jesus.   To associate with them was to put yourself at risk.   And, yet, Jesus had compassion on this man.  He didn’t just say “be healed” and walk away.  He genuinely cared.    Makes me wonder if I genuinely care when someone requests something of me?  Do I have compassion when I see someone in a difficult situation?  And do I give voice and action to that compassion or do I just feel it for a moment and then get on with my life?

3.  Jesus wanted to keep His message the priority.

After He had healed the leper in Mark 2, He asked him to keep it quiet.  He asked him to say nothing to anyone.  It is recorded that the leper did not obey Jesus (I can’t judge that leper too harshly–I have to admit, I would have struggled with that command, too!  Can you imagine how exciting it would be to be healed of a disease like that??)  But why did Jesus issue that command, anyway?  MacArthur notes state that “The ensuing publicity would hinder Jesus’s ability to minister and divert attention from His message.”   Jesus could heal people, but that was not His mission for coming to earth.  And I think, as believers, we need to remember this, too.  We can do wonderful, temporary things for people.  Give them food, help them with shelter, give them eye glasses and dental help.  But if we do this without sharing the gospel, what eternal good is it?  Let’s keep the gospel a priority, in the midst of our good works.

4.  Jesus was not prejudiced.

I know that this sounds basic.  But, every now and then, I will still hear of a believer in Jesus Christ make a statement that would be inappropriate regarding a specific group of people.  I don’t think Jesus would approve.  Jesus was not a respecter of persons.  Do we have a specific example of this?  As a matter of fact, we do.  In John 4, Jesus witnesses to the Samaritan woman.   She asks Jesus in verse 9, how he, being a Jew, would request water from a Samaritan woman?  You see, not only was she a Samaritan, she was also a woman.  She had two counts against her.  And, yet, Jesus took time to talk with her.  Jesus didn’t care about her sex or her race.  But he did care about her.  If you are ever tempted to avoid someone because of their race or to make a blanket judgment about a group of people, remember this account in the gospel of John.

5.  Jesus was honest.

As we continue on in John 4, we read more of Jesus’s conversation with the woman at the well.   Jesus confronts the woman’s sin.  Of course, he had a bit of an advantage, as He knew all about her sin, before she ever opened her mouth!  But, still, He talked with her about it.  And then witnesses to her.  As we share the gospel, we can not hesitate to lovingly reveal people’s sin.  How else  can they be saved?   Unless a man or woman realize that they are a sinner, there is no need for repentance or for a savior.  But…and maybe I am stretching it a bit…could this possibly be carried over into other areas of life?  Should we be more honest with each other?  I think most of us spend our life not being truthful with those around us.  We figure it is just easier to avoid the conflict.   And sometimes that is true.  But we need to ask God to show us when it worth being truthful.  Because, oftentimes, the avoidance tactic ends up growing into a mountain that takes a miracle to move.

6.  Jesus did get angry but only with righteous cause.

In John 2, we read of the temple cleansing.  When Jesus saw the marketplace the temple had become, He grew angry and took action.  Jesus was not angry because of how they treated Him personally, as a human man, but He was angry at the treatment of God and His Holy Place.  And while He took forceful action (driving them all out of the temple), there is no indication that He was cruel in His actions.   Perhaps we could follow His example?  I can’t help but think, in contrast, of the cross.  Not only did Jesus not grow angry in their treatment of Him, as they spit on Him and cast lots for His clothing, but He asked the Father to forgive them.  Wow.  What an example.  I don’t know about you, but I find that my anger usually centers on ME and my unsatisfied desires.  Sobering thought, isn’t it?  I think the other lesson to be learned here is that we have a right to get angry when someone is teaching false doctrine.  We are not supposed to tolerate this!  Nowhere in scripture do we read that we are to keep peace at the expense of pure doctrine.  We are to drive false teachers out of the church…both on a local level and on a larger scale.

While there are other examples of how Jesus communicates in scripture, that is probably long enough for today.  I hope that God’s Word challenges you today.  To God be the Glory!

When asked, many people–even those calling themselves Christians–will say that they think they are a good person. They believe the good things they do outweigh the bad things they do. And they hope that the scales is tipped enough to the “good deeds” side to get them entrance into heaven when they die. They often believe Christ died for the sins of the world. But, for some reason, they think that they still need to do enough good things before they can be reconciled with God and spend eternity with Him.

I know many, if not most, of my readers fully realize that there is nothing we can do to earn God’s favor. But if you have landed here and do not truly understand this, it seemed well worth the effort to write about it this week. On Good Friday we contemplate Jesus’s death on the cross. And then on Sunday we celebrate Easter, the glorious day that Jesus Christ rose from the dead to reign forever more! But why does it really matter, if I can be good enough anyway?

Do you truly realize the message of the cross? Do you realize that Jesus died on that cross for your sins? So that you can  be reconciled with God? To provide the ONLY way for reconciliation? In John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

There are lots of vague, fuzzy beliefs out there right now. Beliefs that you can believe whatever you want. False teachers who tell us we can all believe differently and still get to heaven. But Jesus tells us in the Bible that we cannot all believe different things. He tells us that He is the only way.

And, lest you think you are tipping the scales pretty heavily on the “not guilty” side and in no need of a Savior, Romans 3:23 sets us all straight:“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. Our pastor said yesterday that our good deeds are akin to our taking dirty water and filthy rags and washing windows. Will you end up with clean windows? No, you will still have dirty windows.

Isaiah 64:6 says:

But we are all like an unclean thing,
      And all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags;

So, we can do all the good deeds in the world, and yet, we can never reach perfection. And so, God made a way for us. He sent His Son to die on a cross and to rise victoriously over sin! He sent His son so that we can stand clean–white as snow–before God (Isaiah 1:18). Instead of our sin, God sees Christ’s righteousness. Oh, the glorious cross! It made a way of salvation for you and for me!

So, you may say, if our righteousness is as filthy rags, why do anything good? Why bother? Why try to live a good life? I will tell you why! Because if you are truly a believer in Jesus Christ and if you truly understand what He did for you on the cross then you will love Him so much that you will want to please Him in all that you do. Your main goal in life becomes glorifying Him and sharing the wonderful good news of the gospel with others.

I am afraid that I have “preached to the choir” in writing this. If you have already repented and trusted Jesus for your eternal salvation, may you take this week to truly ponder and rejoice in what Christ did for you on the cross. But, if you have not, may I encourage you to search the scriptures, so that you may understand what it was that Christ did for you on the cross. And, although I do not know your name, please know that I will be praying for you.

AT CALVARY

There is a sin that has been accepted by generations of Christians.   We rarely hear sermons on it.  We rarely read books or articles on this topic.  And yet…

It has destroyed countless churches.  Families have fallen prey to its merciless grasp by the thousands.  It is has ripped apart friendships.  It has influenced school boards.  It has  shaped government in a big way.  But it has also affected small children.  This serpent slithers its way through most of our lives, rearing its head at any given moment.

It reared its ugly head in Bible times, in the Middle Ages, and during the Civil War.  In fact, it has existed in many different forms throughout all time.

What is this sin?  Pride.  Pride has invaded, in one form or another, every relationship and every institution.  Think for a moment.   The last time you had an argument…what was it about?   Or the last time you grew stonily silent and angry…what was it about?    So often we are so full of ourselves.  We are so convinced that we are right.  We are so determined to get our own way.   And when we realize, oftentimes later, that we have messed up, do we humble ourselves and apologize?

Why is apologizing so hard?   It takes a lot of courage for a person to admit they were wrong.  It takes a lot of humility.  Humility can be rather elusive, can’t it?   It is so valuable in a Christian’s life and yet so few of us have genuine humility.  Oh, there is lots of fake humility going on…”You did great at such and such”….”Awww, shucks, no I didn’t”.  But that is not humility.

So what does humble mean, anyway?   It means “not proud, not arrogant; modest” according to dictionary.com.   And pride?  Pride means “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.”

Humility requires thinking of the other person at the expense…yes, EXPENSE, of ourselves. Humility costs a lot.  It may mean we are tramped upon.  It may mean we are taken advantage of.   It may mean we need to forego our own advancement and our personal “rights”.  We cannot even come to the cross without humility.  Unless we realize just how sinful we are…how full of self…how depraved…we cannot begin to even comprehend what the Savior did for us on the cross.

As I am writing, I can think of dozens of examples of situations that could have been solved except for pride.  They were not issues of biblical doctrine.   People just couldn’t get along.  Husbands or wives who just could not admit that they were wrong and take steps to fix the issue, but instead decided to part ways.  Church leaders who held themselves aloft and would not admit to wrongdoing chose instead to split their churches into pieces.  Business owners who continue to claim they handled things well…even as their companies are in bankruptcy.

But, let’s bring it a little closer to home.  When I think of the last few times I have found myself in a disagreement with someone, I know that most times it was stupid.  Yes, I admit it.  It was stupid.  I was standing up for something because of my stupid pride.  It didn’t even matter.  And for the handful of times that it did matter…that it was truly important to express my viewpoint…well, how I went about it was prideful.

I think pride has so invaded our daily lives, that we give it little thought.  In fact, I think in our culture, we often condone it.  We hear that we should stand up for “our rights”.  We hear that we need to “love ourselves”  and increase our “self-esteem”.  But the Bible tells me we already love ourselves (Luke 10:27).  We are commanded to love our neighbor like we already love ourself.

I fear I have not done this topic the justice it deserves.  I fear that churches and families around me will continue to fall, unless we…one by one…kill this serpent within our own homes and churches.  It needs to start with us.

In conclusion, I leave you with a list of verses on this topic:

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.

Proverbs 13:10 By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.

James 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Psalm 25:9 The humble He guides in justice, And the humble He teaches His way.

Matthew 23:12 And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23 A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.

Psalm 147:6 The LORD lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground.

Psalm 18:27 For You will save the humble people, But will bring down haughty look.

Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

1 Peter 5:5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

We know– and tell our children– that a diet made up of only desserts and candy will lead to an unhealthy body. In fact, in our current culture this has become all-important. We have recognized the need to fuel our bodies with good-for-you things like meat, vegetables and fruits, and healthy carbohydrates. There is little discussion or debate about this.

I would like to suggest that perhaps it is the same way with what we read. If you are not a reader, then I challenge you to think about what you listen to or watch and apply the same principle.

When I was fresh out of college and a young mom, a friend of mine gave me her very negative opinion about the Christian fiction that was so popular (and still continues to be popular).  I was kind of offended at the time. When I had the time to read, that was what I read. I filled my mind with stories of lovely damsels in distress finding the perfect guy. But after that conversation, I found myself honestly looking at my reading habits.

Gradually, over many years time, I changed my diet from all fiction to hardly any at all. As this has evolved over the years, I have found that my desire for these types of books has dramatically decreased, as well. Have  you ever talked to a person who has changed their eating habits? Several people have told me that they don’t even really desire to eat a lot of candy and desserts anymore (I am still working on that one!).  I am told that their appetite for the junk food their body craved dramatically decreased when they overhauled their diet.

I believe the same thing applies to what we read.

I do enjoy an occasional Christian fiction work. There are some great authors out there who use the medium of fiction to not only tell a beautiful story, but to also teach us a lesson or cause us to think (and quite honestly, I do not put these authors in the same category as the authors of the light, fluffy stuff).  However, if we are spending hours reading the typical romantic, unrealistic fluff, then we are not only wasting our time but we are developing expectations about life that aren’t real. Oftentimes, we are using it as an escape from the real world. I know this, because I did this.  And, just like eating candy, reading like this is fine–in moderation. But, if this is what we are filling our mind with, then it will take up the appetite that should be used for better things–the good-for-us “mind food” that will keep us growing and challenged both spiritually and intellectually.

If you can relate to what I am saying then I would like to challenge you to read (or listen to or watch) more vegetables than you do candy. Read some biblical, sound books that will help you grow in your walk with the Lord.  Read some biographies of great men and women. See how the Lord has worked in the lives of real men and women to change the world.  My personal favorites are missionary biographies. How my short-sighted view on how God works has been deeply challenged by reading about the lives of believers who took a giant leap out of their comfort zone! Or pick up a good classic and stretch your mind with the vocabulary and the complexities of the story. And soon you will find that you, too, have changed your mind’s appetite for candy along with stretching your mind and growing spiritually.

Dave Ramsey says that in 5 years you will be the same person except for the people you meet and the books you read. How are the books you are reading changing you?

P.S. If you’d like a few suggestions of books to get you started, you can check out some of my favorite books here.

A dear friend of mine told me of an interesting thing that happened to her recently. Earlier in the week, she had stopped at a fast food restaurant for a quick meal. After she had placed her order, the young clerk asked her if she would like a senior citizen discount. My friend is not a senior citizen. She laughed it off–until it happened again that same week in a different scenario. Only this time she was actually given the discount.  She was starting to wonder–was she not feeling well? Maybe she looked more tired than she actually felt?

But her discouragement was erased the following Friday night.

That was when an older lady she had never met asked her a few questions about herself. And then said the glorious words: You look like you are 25. Twenty-five! To this woman, my friend looked like she was 25.

It is truly all in our perspective.  When I was a teenager, I thought my parents were OLD. Now that I am the same age as they were then, I still think they are old. But not me. I’m not old. Not yet.  And I wonder at my naivete thinking that they were old when they were in their 40s.  But I was so young. Not that I thought was young then.

I was thinking that this perspective thing might affect more than how we view someone’s age. Perhaps it transfers into other areas of life. Sometimes we can’t understand why someone responds to a tragedy or crisis  in a totally different way than we think we would in the same situation.  But perhaps we would respond the same way–if we were looking at it from the same perspective as they were.

A long, long time ago I had a friend who was experiencing some very serious marital issues. I told her kind of flippantly –remember I was so young and rather foolish, too– that I would just leave. I remember her sighing, “You don’t know what you would do if you were in my place.”

You don’t know what you would do.

I have remembered that all of these years. And when I see someone reacting to a situation in a way I believe to be unwise or even just plain stupid– well, I remember what she said.  Maybe if I was in that situation, I would do the same thing.

That doesn’t discount our responsibility to confront sin or to come alongside and help our friends. But it should make us much more compassionate and a lot less judgmental.

Today, may we extend compassion to those around us, realizing they are seeing their situation differently than we are. And may we not give senior discounts to anyone who is not a senior!

P.S. My friend is still married to her husband. She wisely stuck it out when it didn’t look like the wise thing to do. I am so glad she didn’t listen to me when I spoke my unwise words–which I thought were so wise at the time.

Why have so many people missed that verse in Hagamuk? You know the one–

Hagamuk 2:10: “Thou Shalt Wear Thy Best Robes to Worship.”

Okay, so I tried. As you most likely already know,  there is no “official” verse on why one should dress up for church. And since the church has been busily throwing out traditions for the last 20 years, dressing up is now completely out of vogue. It is the exception–and certainly not the norm–to see people dressed in their best for Sunday mornings. And since there is nothing official in scripture stating why one should dress nicely–well, I don’t have much I can say, do I?

And, I would like to say right here–just so you are not confused–I am in no way judging you if you do not agree with me. Since there is not anything directly spoken to this issue in scripture, what you wear to church is between you and the Lord.

But just in case someone wonders why anyone would hold onto TRADITION so tightly like my family and me–well, I thought I would give some insight. Because it is a decision that our family has carefully thought through and not based on some thoughtless dedication to a long-held tradition that has now been completely tossed to the wind by most church-goers.

As I have mentioned already, within the past 20 years churches have gradually become a place where anything goes. Wear your jeans, your t-shirts, and your shorts. All people will be welcomed, no matter what you wear. And so they should be!! But dressing up doesn’t mean that we make people unwelcome. Do you feel unwelcome at a bank? Or when you go to see a lawyer or accountant’s office? It is so interesting that people still dress up to go to work. If you go into a bank or you work in a corporation, you still find “business attire”.  It has long been understood that if you are dressed nicely, you act differently–more respectful and more professional–than if you are dressed casually.

I have also noticed that people still dress up to do things like meet the President of the United States, attend a wedding or a funeral,  or to go to a symphony. Why do they bother to go to the work of dressing up? It is because they want to honor the person(s) in whose honor they are attending the function. It is a sign of respect and honor.

And so this is why our family has continued to wear our best on Sunday mornings, when the world around us has decided not to. Yes, we know that God looks on the heart (the argument we hear over and over again about why you don’t need to dress up for church). But let’s turn it around and instead of putting the focus on ourselves, let’s move it to God. What is the best way we can honor and respect God when we worship? One of the ways our family thinks this can be accomplished is by dressing up when we go to God’s House to worship.

And, by the way, just because some people wear nice clothing to church and then have hearts that are filled with legalistic garbage, doesn’t mean that all people who wear nice clothing are doing so because of legalism. This just isn’t the case.

I will close with a quote from Elisabeth Elliot’s book “Discipline”. She has encapsulated my thoughts perfectly.

“I know I am skating on very thin ice to bring up the question of dress, since it has, for several decades, been considered by most Christians as of very minor importance or of absolutely no importance since God looks on the heart.  But I believe it is worth reconsidering in terms of respect.  Is it not an indication of my regard for another person’s worth when I am willing to “dress up”- for a job interview, for example; for a special guest I am entertaining; for a social event to which I feel honored to have been invited?  Is it not a sign of a performer’s respect for his audience and of the audience’s for the performer, when they dress for the occasion?  It may be scorned as a form of pride (“who are you trying to impress”), but it may be genuine humility of the same sort that would prompt one to polish the silver, get out the beautiful tablecloth, and have candlelight and flowers for someone greatly loved.  The attitude of students, I have noticed, is strongly influenced by a professor’s dress, as well as his manner.”