Christian Life – Page 77

Part 1: Casa de Pan

Leave a Comment / November 11, 2013 November 11, 2013

Our week in Costa Rica was almost over. It was Thursday afternoon and we had been to one private children’s home and two public children’s homes already. We were told this one was different. This was a real home owned by a couple who had adopted all 46 of the children living there. My mind tried to comprehend that, but it seemed to be beyond my scope of imagination. 46?!? I was to find out that it was actually many more.

After driving through city streets, seeing hundreds of homes behind iron bars, the bus pulled up to a beautiful, plant-covered wall. As we got out, we saw a big blue gate. As we walked towards the gate, we heard the laughter of children behind the wall and even a couple of dogs barking.

As the blue gate swung open and our team walked up the driveway, I smiled with delight. For here was a beautiful oasis in the city of San Jose. There was a big backyard and in the middle of it stood a huge tree. As we looked up, we saw an immense tree house tucked within its branches. Children of all ages and sizes played happily. The house, white with blue trim, looked warm and welcoming. Up on the roof and at the upstairs open windows were several teenagers watching us.

Our team was there to play with the children for a few hours. After a few minutes, I noticed that a few of the ladies were headed around back. They were headed to the outdoor dining room to use the tables. I hurried to join them. As we walked around the back of the house, I came upon an outdoor room that was obviously the laundry room. This large, long room was probably used daily, evidenced by the little onesies hanging on the line just outside the door and the mounds and mounds of laundry I could see over the wall.

We took a left and walked down a pathway to the outdoor kitchen, located on the right. To my left, I saw a shelf that reached to the ceiling, filled with little shoes. As we walked into the dining room and started coloring, we noticed a couple older teenagers, blonde and blue-eyed, who didn’t look Costa Rican. As I talked to one, I found out that this 17 year old girl from Austria was just finishing up a 3 month term as a volunteer here in the house known as Casa de Pan.

At one point, I went in search of a bathroom. I found one for our use, in the center of a new building that stood beside the house. The bathroom was finished (I can certainly understand why that would have been a priority), but there was an older gentleman working on finishing the rooms to either side. On my way there, I poked my head in the room and offered a smile and a “Buenas Dias”. The man smiled, offered a firm handshake, and told me his name was Victor. He then pointed to the little boy playing at his feet and told me with a smile that his name was Victor, as well. We talked for a few minutes, using his limited English, my limited Spanish, and a few hand motions, and then I left. At the time, I did not realize that Victor was the heroic head of this wonderful household.

After awhile, I headed to the backyard to join in the fun there. As I snapped a few photos, I drank in the loveliness of the place. Here were 46 children who would not get lost in the system. Here were 46 beautiful souls that had found home. And not just any home, but a home run by parents with faith in Jesus Christ. It was truly amazing. As I contemplated this couple, I will be painfully honest and let you know that I started to feel just a bit shallow in my “work” for the Lord. How much more I could give.

As I was looking around and thinking, my eye caught movement on the front porch. I saw my sister-in-law and my daughter following an older lady into the house, along with our Costa Rican leader and our American team leader. I hurried to catch up and joined the end of the line. This looked like it might be an opportunity to see a bit more of the inner workings of this incredible place.

Inside, we were taken to a beautiful large living room. Right inside the door was a girl of about twelve holding a three week old baby, swathed in a pink blanket. The girl offered her to my sister-in-law, who after a few minutes, graciously handed her to my baby-loving daughter. There the baby nestled in for a nap in the arms of my contented daughter for the duration of our time inside.

We were told to have a seat. Melba, a calm, kind, and comfortable-looking woman sat on a sofa with Raymond, our Costa Rican leader, us three women sat on another sofa, and Steve, our team leader, sat on a chair.

As Melba started to speak, I had no idea that this would be the most impactful and inspiring hour of my entire week. I will share Part 2 tomorrow.

6 Reasons You Should Go

2 Comments / October 31, 2013 October 31, 2013

As you may have noticed by now, I am keeping to the theme of missions this week, in light of my upcoming trip to Costa Rica. You can read the whole story about why I am taking this particularly trip here if you missed it.

As I was thinking about leaving on Sunday, I started remembering some of the other mission trips I have been on. When our children were young, my husband and I determined that, if we had the resources to do so, we would make sure each of our children left United States soil at least once before they left our home. We felt it important for so many reasons. In the past five years, I have had the privilege to take my oldest daughter to Ukraine and my middle daughter to Guatemala. We saw God worked in an amazing way so that our whole family could go to Haiti. I feel so blessed to have been able to take these trips. Not only for the sake of my children, but for mine.

You see short-term mission trips, while definitely a blessing to those who are on the receiving end of our help and supplies, are perhaps an even bigger blessing to those of us who are on the giving end.

Why do I believe this?

Here are a few reasons–

1. We get out of our comfort zone. Oh, how so many of us love our comfort zones. So much so that many of us aren’t willing to go somewhere where we might be uncomfortable or hot or thirsty or have to work or can’t speak the language. It freaks us out and we exaggerate the awfulness of it all. But when we actually go, we see it isn’t so bad, after all.

2. It helps us gain perspective. If we live in the U.S. (or any other wealthy place) we can lose sight of the fact that the luxuries we take for granted are not worldwide. Taking a short-term trip shows us that there are actually people who live without computers (gasp!), cars, and running water. There is a whole world of people who have never been taught how to read or write. People that somehow make a plastic grocery bag full of rice and beans sustain their families for an entire month. There are children who live in institutions without the loving care of a family. Taking a mission trip opens our eyes to the real world that lies just outside our little sheltered place where we live most of our lives.

Let me add here that, while I believe we can find many places to minister here in the U.S. that will help us gain perspective, most countries do not have the welfare programs and government helps that we have here and so it is generally far worse conditions in many lands on this earth for those living in poverty.

3. It kindles our heart for the lost and renews our dedication to sharing the good news of the gospel both abroad and at home. Taking a trip reminds us of just how many people do not know the Lord personally. Many people have never even heard the gospel. Actually sharing the good news with lost souls is such a privilege. Sometimes we forget that in our day to day lives.

On one of my trips, I was one of the oldest team members and so I was the one they picked to actually sit down with the nationals and share the gospel, through an interpreter. I was so nervous. But I did it and it became more and more natural. And I was reminded that sharing the Lord with others isn’t as hard as I make it out to be.

4. We make incredible memories and new friends. From the poignant to the crazy, memories abound on these trips. I remember vivid moments of frustration and fear. But I remember many more moments of satisfaction and joy. On each trip I made new friends, some of which I am still in touch with today.

5. We touch the lives of others. The photos above are all from my previous mission trips. Each one of these faces brings back beautiful memories. A connection of hearts was made, if even for the briefest moment. There are a few I still think of and occasionally pray for today–the beautiful young girl in a Ukrainian orphanage for the mentally handicapped, even though she didn’t seem to belong there; the energetic twin boys in Haiti who just loved my son; and the laughing, silly 2 year olds that I would spend my mornings with in Guatemala, helping to get them dressed for the day and giving them hugs. So many more encounters that I could fill up several pages worth (I won’t!) but as I write, my heart is filled with such thanksgiving that I was able to meet these precious souls, if even for just a few meager minutes of my life.

6. We have the opportunity to trust the Lord in the fearful moments and watch Him work. From how to raise the funds to go to some very frightening moments in airports, God has been so faithful to me through these trips. I honestly believe if we never take a risk we can never truly see Him work. Let’s face it, if we are average people in the first world, we have most of our needs and many of our desires met every day — food, water, clothing, and shelter are a given for most of us. Sure, we may have to choose ramen noodles over steak, but we aren’t starving. We rarely remove ourselves from this comfortable place to even be able to watch the Lord work. Of course, sometimes things beyond our control happen, such as accidents and diseases and we are thrust into that world quite suddenly. But a short-term mission trip is a way to give up a little control and quite purposely put your life in the Lord’s hands, if even for a week.

And so if you can find a trip, you should go! If the Lord’s been tugging at your heart about the trip with your church, then call today and get more details. If you heard about a trip a friend is going on and it keeps coming to mind, then do some checking online. But I would just encourage you, in keeping with my post yesterday, to make sure it is with an agency that keeps sharing the gospel as their number one priority.

Anyone can give food and shelter, but only Christians can give the life-giving water that changes lives for all eternity.

Wednesday Wisdom: Sham Compassion

Leave a Comment / October 30, 2013 March 15, 2017

One of the biggest concerns I have regarding modern missions is the focus on the physical needs of man without care for the soul.

Mark 8:36 says, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” This is in the context of gaining material wealth, but I believe it can also be applied to our mission philosophy.

I know this is an unpopular stance to take, but Mark 8:36 makes it clear: all of the clean water, used clothing, and healthy food in the world isn’t going to make a difference eternally. All of the educated masses, peace projects, and new buildings are not going to save a soul. Unless they are accomplished alongside sharing the truth about God and His way of salvation. For what do we accomplish enduringly if we don’t share the gospel? It is my opinion that all Christian mission agencies should have sharing the gospel as their primary purpose.

I have been so disappointed to see many “Christian” mission agencies relegating what should be their main purpose to fourth or fifth on their list or, for some, to not even making evangelism a part of their purpose, choosing instead to encourage the false religion that is already embraced in the foreign country for the sake of diversity and unity. I recently read a pamphlet by a Christian mission agency that actually put it something like this– “We exist to provide clean water, education, and care for {the people} and we teach them about God’s love, too.” Not exact words, but close.

My thought was that this is a rather new occurrence in our modern day messed-up church. But, alas, Catherine Booth was running into this same problem in the 1800’s as she and her husband started the Salvation Army. This short excerpt is from her book Popular Christianity. She goes on to expound on the different errors that we make in our human take on missions and it is an excellent piece, but much too long to offer here. And so I will share her introduction and her last paragraph. Both of which are full of wisdom when it comes to this topic of missions, whether they be at home or on foreign soil. Let’s keep first things first!

Here is the excerpt–

Benevolence has come somewhat into fashion of late. It has become the correct things to do the slums, since the Prince of Wales did them; and this general idea of caring in some way or degree for the poor and wretched has extended itself even into the region of creeds, so that we have now many schemes for the salvation of mankind without a real Saviour.

Do not misunderstand me. I have no objection—nay, I rejoice in any real good being done for anybody, much more for the poor and suffering—I have no objection that a large society of intelligent Christians should take up so noble an object as that of caring for stray dogs, providing it does not interfere with caring for stray babies! I desire not to find fault with what is good, but to point out the evil which, to my mind, so largely diminishes the satisfaction one would otherwise feel in much benevolent effort being put forth around us. As I said at the beginning, the most precious stone given instead of bread is useless to a starving man.

Surely nobody ever cared for poor suffering humanity so much as Jesus Christ. He gladly put forth His mighty power for the healing and feeding of the body, and He laid it down most distinctly that all who were true to Him must love the poor and give up their all for them in the same practical way in which He did; but all this real brotherhood did not prevent His keeping the great truths of salvation ever to the front, and applying them as relentlessly to the poor as to the rich, and vice versâ.

But now in the name of Christ we are asked to believe either that the truest way to carry out His intentions is to ignore men’s souls and care only for their bodies, or else to join with this sort of material salvation some theory that will practically get rid of all serious soul-need.

And she closes with this final statement–
Let no benevolent projects, no magnificent phrases deceive you. The good done to mankind by the poor fisherman who spoke the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, has surpassed all the achievements of modern philanthropy as far as the noon-day sun surpasses the rushlight.

If you want to elevate the masses, go and ask HIM how to do it, and if the answer comes, “Take up thy cross and follow Me,” OBEY.

Impatience Is Not a Virtue

Leave a Comment / October 24, 2013 October 24, 2013

Inevitably, we run into the same problem every spring within our landscaping company. Everyone wants their patios and outdoor fireplaces and retaining walls built immediately. They are excited about the upcoming season and want to put their exciting plans for an outdoor living space in motion as soon as possible.

But here’s the problem: hardscaping is a job that requires skill and education, and so we only have a handful of men qualified in this company to take a job from start to finish. We have divided them into two crews. That means that we can only work on two projects at a time. As we are well-known and trusted in the area, we usually end up with a pretty long waiting list for installs. We try to tell people we are worth the wait, but, occasionally, some of them get impatient and won’t wait. I can understand their frustration. But that frustration can lead to a big mistake.

They call a guy who is just getting started (or an old guy who is starting a new business with a new name for the 5th time!) and hire him. These guys do not generally have a waiting list and can often start jobs immediately. Now, let me preface all of this by saying that a few of these guys are good, honest guys who do quality work to the best of their ability. But that is not the norm. Many of them are uneducated without proper insurance at best and complete shysters at worst.

As my husband always says: If someone can be there right away (or even in two weeks) in the springtime, they are probably not a very quality company.

Ironically, this decision has often ended up causing people great stress and, most times, even more frustration than they started with.

Take, for example, two recent situations where Eric was approached for a price to fix the shoddy work of these types of incompetent contractors. In both cases, the customers are also out quite a bit of money and one is looking at a lawsuit to try and retrieve at least some of it. These are not the first jobs that we have entered midstream because of this reason.

You see, patience sometimes is necessary in order to get a beautiful product that will last for a lifetime. There is so much more to hardscaping than throwing down pavers. There is great care needed in laying the proper base, great importance in using the right materials and tools, and careful precision needed in making the right cuts. Does the person you want to hire have specific training for this job and the proper insurances and equipment? These are critical questions before hiring a contractor.

So why am I writing about this on a devotional blog? Or do you already see the correlation?

We live in a world that wants everything right away. We do not want to wait for anything. And so we make mistakes.

Sometimes they are home-related –like hiring a shyster who can start right away instead of waiting for a respected and trust-worthy contractor.

Sometimes our mistakes are financial –like wasting hundreds of dollars at a casino or on lottery tickets trying to make quick, easy money instead of working hard and investing wisely.

Sometimes these mistakes are made by young singles –like marrying an unbeliever instead of waiting for a godly spouse.

And sometimes they are made as families –like settling for the first, comfortable {and compromising} church we visit rather than carrying out a thorough search for a church that is teaching sound biblical doctrine.

But all of these mistakes are also spiritual. How come?

I guess what I see as a common thread here is self-centeredness driven by feelings. When we aren’t willing to wait on an outcome, even though that outcome would be better and yield much higher dividends and rewards in the long run, then we are operating on feelings. And feelings are just never good things on which to base decisions.

Don’t get me wrong, feelings hold some weight. But when faced with a decision, it is best to look at all of the possible options with all of the possible outcomes. And then, pushing the impatient feelings aside, we make the wisest decision we can with the information we have.

There is no doubt that decision-making can be excruciatingly hard. But we should never base any decision on our feelings of impatience and frustration.

10 Things to Do (Instead of Watching TV)

5 Comments / October 21, 2013 October 21, 2013

Would you believe I let myself –once again– get caught up in a popular TV show? At first, it was excellent. The characters were deep, the dilemmas were real, and the plot, fascinating. The producers did an admirable job showing the real world without delving into the filth. Oh, the filth was there, under the surface, but they did a great job at keeping it real without glorifying or magnifying the reality of the filth.

But then, just like all of the other times I had let myself watch a popular show, I ended up being disappointed. You’d think I’d learn!

Call me crazy, but I actually believe the entertainment industry quite purposefully starts a new series quite benignly. We all get hooked into the plot and then, just when we are all loving the show and quite intrigued with the story line, the series starts to be more explicit and violent and ungodly. What an easy way to harden the hearts and change the morals of an entire society!

But, actually, it is okay with me. Do you know why? Because it is a great reminder that television is just a big waste of time, anyway. Yeah, yeah, I know there are some good educational shows. I get that. But most of us are not watching educational TV. We are watching cop shows, hospital dramas, and inane comedies. We are spending hours watching men play with a ball or throw each other down in rings.

What a waste of our God-given hours!

So, I got to thinking…

In this day and age, when we have become so reliant on our televisions for our evening entertainment–especially during the long winter evenings–what else could we be doing instead?

And I came up with this list. Of course, this list would be different for a home with young kids or an empty nester, but at least it gets us started thinking about turning the box off and turning our brains on.

Here are my 10 things to do instead of watching TV–

1. Play games! Since our kids have started dating, we have revived the game playing in our family. We enjoy lots of different games but here are a few of our favorites: Qwerkle (perhaps our all-time favorite!), Play Nine, Scattergories, CatchPhrase, Apple to Apples, Blokus, and Yahtzee. We like quick games that don’t take a ton of strategy. While we like to think a little, we are not real interested in thinking a lot! ;)

2. Find a new hobby. We live in a country with a million and one opportunities. Sure, we may be limited by our budgets, but even the most limited budgets can afford at least the cable bill per month. Cancel cable and invest that money into a new hobby. Think knitting, crocheting, baking, wood-working, sewing, digital scrap-booking, painting, making jewelry, building models, and photography. Start playing for an indoor sports league or take up strength-training or ice skating.

3. Take a class. Challenge yourself by enrolling in a class. There are affordable classes on just about anything–dance, accounting, computers, cooking, gardening, cake decorating, history, Bible, photography. Think of a subject you’d like to know more about and find a class that could help you learn.

4. Put a puzzle together. I know puzzles are old-fashioned entertainment. I get that. But buy a fun puzzle and start working on it. Watch your kids (no matter their age) come and sit down and start working on it with you. Or they may just sit next to you and start talking. When you are working on a puzzle, you are able to talk and laugh and discuss. It gives great opportunities to build relationships.

5. Organize something you have been meaning to organize for years. Perhaps it is files or photos on your computer. Or maybe it’s a drawer or a cabinet. These things do not take a lot of thought, so they are easy, mindless tasks to do when you are tired at the end of a long day. Put on a great podcast, like Grace to You, and you can learn something while you are working.

6. Read a book. You can probably guess that this is my favorite option. I love to get a nice steaming cup of peppermint tea sweetened with a little turbinado sugar and sit down with a good book. I often bemoan the fact that there are too many books and not enough time. I am usually reading several titles from different genres and will often enjoy reading quietly in the evenings. If you are one of those people that says “I hate to read” then I challenge you to give it a try. Train yourself to read and be amazed at how it changes you. I always love this quote by Dave Ramsey: In five years, you will be the same person except for the people you meet and the books you read.

7. Play an instrument. Perhaps you still have a saxophone or flute hidden away in a closet somewhere. Get it out and dust it off. Or maybe you used to play the piano and now the piano is only used for your kids’ lessons. Sit down and get to know that wonderful instrument once again. Pick up your daughter’s violin or your son’s trumpet and see if you remember anything. And if you’ve never played anything then learn now! We are never too old to stretch our brains and learn something new (and they say that learning new things is a way to keep Alzeimer’s at bay–just saying!)

8. Download a fun app on your iPad or Tablet. It is incredible just how many apps are available, isn’t it? You can edit photos, create photo collages, play games about the Bible, history, science, and geography. You can write a new song or pound out a familiar tune using one of the many music apps. There are apps to help you organize your home and garden and gift-giving. There are apps that will help you learn a new language or how to star gaze. Using your iPad or Tablet makes it so much easier to read online material, as well. Some of my favorite apps are Wonderful Days, FighterVerse, Pocket, Zinio, DuoLingo, PicCollage, Stack Countries, and Life.

Please note: Time spent on the iPad feels the same to your family as watching TV (i.e., you become distracted and uninterested in what’s going on around you), so I have discovered that it is in my family’s best interest to limit this time until after the kids are in bed (or busy elsewhere, in my case) and my husband is working on something else.

9. Do that thing you “never have time for“. Everyone does it. You ask them if they read such and such a book– “Oh, I don’t have time for that.” You ask them if they have kept in touch with so and so– “Oh, we are so busy, I don’t have time for that.” This is probably worthy of a whole post all on its own, but to bottom line it– we all have time for what we want to do. So take a moment and think about the things that you say you don’t have time for and see if any of those can fit into that slot in the evening when you are vegging out in front of the television.

10. Encourage someone. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Write an encouraging letter full of news from home to a missionary. Write a thank you note to your pastor or teacher. Send an e-mail to someone you haven’t seen since last Christmas. Send Get Well cards to the infirm on your church’s prayer list. Visit the elderly man or lady at the home that has no family. Do something nice for someone.

You have just read my “ideas” list for this winter. As I have been pondering this list the last few days, I have become excited about doing something besides watching that box this winter. I have plans to learn a new language, learn to knit (or at least give that one more try!), and write some letters. I hope to organize some pictures and put some Shutterfly albums together. With some perseverance and diligence, I can redeem the long winter evenings instead of waste them.

Anyone care to join me in this goal?

Holy What??

7 Comments / October 17, 2013 October 17, 2013

Holy _____________. You fill in the blank.

Yes, this word can be followed by Spirit or Bible or God. But, most often, it is followed by crap (or crap’s crude counterpart) or cow or some other meaningless word. I hear this ALL. THE. TIME. I hear friends and family explode with these terms in surprise. I hear people I consider very godly use these terms. I even heard a pastor on the radio use one of these terms in a sermon.

For some reason I cannot fathom, Christians think this is perfectly okay to say.

So…why do I think it’s not okay? (And, trust me, I am well aware that I am probably the only Christian on the planet who finds offense when this is said.) But here’s why I believe these are terms better left unsaid–

A. The meaning of the word holy is is almost exclusively religious outside of it’s crude expression. There is no meaning apart from its sacred definition. While it doesn’t explicitly apply to Christianity, it does always have a religious meaning. It is most often applied to the Christian God and used in the Christian religion.

Find the definition for HOLY here. You will notice that only the 7th –7th!– definition has nothing specifically to do with God or religion. So when we speak the word holy, we are using a religious term.

B. God is made up of three persons –God, the Father, Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. We Christians are offended when we use the names God or Jesus as a swear word (well, some of us are, which I already addressed in a post here), but for some reason we can use part of the Holy Spirit’s name and not find offense.

These are the two reasons why I, personally, do not use these terms. It just doesn’t seem like the best thing to say. I am not making a judgment about your spirituality or godliness if you do use these terms. I am simply asking that we give some thought to this term.

Is it the best term to use? Or could we express our surprise and shock in a way that is more pleasing to God? It’s just something to think about.

Wednesday Wisdom: Safe in Jesus

Leave a Comment / October 16, 2013 October 16, 2013

Sometimes life can be discouraging. The news is filled with stories of stolen freedoms and the persecution of fellow believers both here and around the world. As Christians, we feel like a shrinking and hated minority in the midst of utter chaos. I wonder if Noah felt that way? Probably even more so, as he was the only man (along with his immediate family) saved from total ruin when the great flood came. Charles Spurgeon writes about this in one of his “Morning and Evening” Devotionals. It is a great reminder that our safety and security lies not in this world, but comes from God alone.

“And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away: so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.” Matthew 24:39

Universal was the doom, neither rich nor poor escaped: the learned and the illiterate, the admired and the abhorred, the religious and the profane, the old and the young, all sank in one common ruin. Some had doubtless ridiculed the patriarch—where now their merry jests? Others had threatened him for his zeal which they counted madness—where now their boastings and hard speeches? The critic who judged the old man’s work is drowned in the same sea which covers his sneering companions. Those who spoke patronizingly of the good man’s fidelity to his convictions, but shared not in them, have sunk to rise no more, and the workers who for pay helped to build the wondrous ark, are all lost also. The flood swept them all away, and made no single exception. Even so, out of Christ, final destruction is sure to every man of woman born; no rank, possession, or character, shall suffice to save a single soul who has not believed in the Lord Jesus. My soul, behold this wide-spread judgment and tremble at it.

How marvellous the general apathy! they were all eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, till the awful morning dawned. There was not one wise man upon earth out of the ark. Folly duped the whole race, folly as to self-preservation—the most foolish of all follies. Folly in doubting the most true God—the most malignant of fooleries. Strange, my soul, is it not? All men are negligent of their souls till grace gives them reason, then they leave their madness and act like rational beings, but not till then.

All, blessed be God, were safe in the ark, no ruin entered there. From the huge elephant down to the tiny mouse all were safe. The timid hare was equally secure with the courageous lion, the helpless cony as safe as the laborious ox. All are safe in Jesus. My soul, art thou in Him?

—Morning and Evening, by Charles H. Spurgeon

Why Do We Get So Angry?

Leave a Comment / October 15, 2013 October 15, 2013

I can get really angry. Some of the things that make me angry (or at least very irritated) are–

• drivers that go below the speed limit

• being interrupted while I am trying to concentrate

• kids who argue or show disprespect

• leaving the lights on and closet doors open

• twisting the truths of scripture

• not getting my way

Now before you judge or criticize me, stop and think about yourself for a moment. I am guessing that there are a few things that probably make your blood grow a little hot, as well.

Of course, all of us do not express anger the same way. Some of us yell and scream. Others sulk or get very quiet. Still others gossip or slander. Some people (hopefully not any of my readers) express their anger inappropriately by throwing things or hitting and kicking.

But, no matter how it manifests itself, anger is a part of all of our lives.

A sermon I listened to recently clarified the sinfulness of anger. It also made it clear how much I shrug off this sin. I rationalize that everyone gets angry once in awhile. So what? What’s the big deal?

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we have righteous anger, but it doesn’t take much honest introspection to come to the conclusion that most of our anger is about our own personal agenda and has nothing to do with an offense towards the Holy God we love.

In fact, when I started to think about this particular sin in my life, I was mortified at just how important I consider my agenda, my comfort and convenience, my desires, and my stuff.

After all, why would I get so very angry when someone crosses me if they weren’t so important to me?

{And suddenly I remember what I really am—a self-absorbed, pathetic sinner in desperate need of a Savior. For if anything can remind me of the wonder of salvation and the glory of the Gospel it is coming face to face with my own sin.}

So, if I am angry because someone is keeping me from my doing what I want to do or having what I want to have, what exactly does that mean? I believe that it means that something is more important to me than God at that moment. And that means that–at least for that moment– there is an idol in my life.

For example, let’s just say that I want a clean house and so I work hard to have one. An hour later my husband walks through the house with muddy boots. If I grow angry (and I usually do), then I am putting my desire for a clean house before pleasing the Lord with my tongue.

Another example comes to mind. Let’s say I am searching for a pair of earrings and can’t find them. I eventually figure out that one of my daughters borrowed (and lost) them. If I speak angry words in frustration (which is, quite honestly, normally how I respond) than–for that moment–my stuff has become more important than pleasing the Lord.

The sad thing is that this happens to me way, way too often.

You see, most of us like to blame our anger on something or someone else. We talk about our hormones, our misbehaved kids, or our demanding parents. We blame our husbands, our pastors, or our co-workers. They made us angry.

But, if we are honest, we really cannot shift the blame for our anger on to someone (or something) else. In each instance, whether we grow slightly frustrated or absolutely furious, we still hold the responsibility for that anger.

There are better ways to solve problems than anger. In fact, I would go so far as to say, anger compounds the problem rather than solving it. Think about the last time you got angry. Can you think of it? Now think about how you responded. Got it? So my question for you is this: Did your yelling and screaming help or hinder resolution? Did your sulkiness and sullenness bring peace or strife to the situation?

So, in a nutshell, our anger not only shows us that we are selfish to the core but it also hinders our relationships. If that is the case, then what is the right way to respond? And how do we get ourselves to respond in this right way?

Honestly, I am still working on that one. I am pretty certain that it has to do with devaluing and dethroning myself while I make pleasing God my most important priority in all aspects of my life. Some things that would probably help me in this are memorizing scripture, prayer, and having a response plan in place for the inevitable frustrating moments that will come.

What I do know, without a doubt, is that our spouses are more important than our desires, our children are more important than our stuff, and that God is more important than anything else. That leads me to believe that working on this problem of anger isn’t an option, but a necessity if we are going to grow in our faith.

The Tie That Binds

Leave a Comment / October 10, 2013 November 7, 2023

Have you ever had the following experience? You start talking with someone. It may be a complete stranger at the mall or in a restaurant. It could be your insurance agent or your professor. As you converse, you find out that they, too, follow Christ. As you talk further you realize that they– just like you– are passionate about their faith. Immediately you feel this amazing bond that is beyond any human comprehension. It is quite different than finding someone who comes from the same city or does the same job. It is an awareness that you are related in the Lord. It is a wonderful experience.

I remember this happening twenty years ago. My husband and I were going to one of those special all-inclusive honeymoon places in The Poconos (anyone else remember those? The Poconos was the place to go before the Caribbean became the place to go). We were celebrating our 5th anniversary and by that time had a couple of kids. We were excited to spend a weekend alone.

When we arrived, we found out that we had to share a table with another couple at our meals. We were a bit hesitant as we headed to the resort’s restaurant. Who would we be seated with? A loud, obnoxious couple who loved to drink? A quiet couple who made it difficult to converse? An old couple? A young couple? We were anticipating complete awkwardness (keep in mind that we were really just kids at the time and especially hated to be put out of our comfort zone).

Imagine our surprise when we arrived at the dining room and were seated with a police officer and his wife from Brooklyn, NY. We quickly surmised from their accents that they had probably been born outside America and found out a few minutes into our dinner that they had immigrated from Nigeria. That certainly gave us something to talk about. We were relieved. Our dinner partners were pleasant enough and we knew we would be fine.

But as we chatted with them, we eventually realized that we were related in the Lord. And, after that, all our supposed differences fell away. As other couples drank and danced the night away, we stayed at the table, talking about raising kids, church, and life in light of our common faith. We talked about the difference between Nigeria and Brooklyn. I especially remember his conversation about Nigerian jails. FYI: You really want to avoid going to a Nigerian jail (and it was his opinion that American jails should be a little more like them!) We talked about our cultures and homes. But all of our conversation was infused with the knowledge that, although we had different skin colors and came from completely different countries and backgrounds, we were one in Christ.

And the knowledge of that was so sweet.

You see, when we meet a fellow brother or sister in the Lord it doesn’t really matter what color they are or what background they come from or what they are wearing or how much money they have. It doesn’t even matter if you can speak the same language.

One of my favorite things about mission trips is when we will go to a national church. Hearing the familiar tunes being sung in a different language is a reminder that the bond we have in Christ is strong and very special. It reminds me of the old hymn–

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

I didn’t really understand the words in this song when I was younger, but life has taught me about this Christian love that binds our hearts. Twenty years have passed since that time together around a table at a honeymoon resort in the mountains of Pennsylvania and yet I still clearly remember it. We thoroughly enjoyed their company and all four of us mused at how God had arranged for us to sit at the same table.

For true Christian love is a tie that binds us to our Christian brothers and sisters. And I thank the Lord for that.

Wednesday Wisdom: Stand and Be Counted

Leave a Comment / October 9, 2013 October 9, 2013

Have you ever heard this quote–

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” ?

This is generally attributed to JFK but no one really quite knows for sure. But whoever said it was right. It is not good enough to avoid evil. We also need to stand for what is right. It is really the heart of what this passage is talking about. If we are godly then we will want to be counted on the Lord’s side and stand with those who are proclaiming God’s Truth. I found this excerpt full of good food for thought–

Most of us will never run for political office, but each of us can use our influence to endorse someone who is stepping out and representing our concerns. We can put bumper stickers on our cars, display campaign signs in our yards, attend fundraising events, and help man the call center for our candidate.

In a similar manner, you may not be the point man for a righteous concern among your Christian friends or in your church because someone else has already spoken out against wrongdoing, but you can publicly endorse the person who is taking the right position. Unfortunately, when a pastor who is doing right gets resistance from church members, the only ones who speak up are those opposing him. They are quite ready to “plant yard signs” and volunteer to work “call centers” to get people on their side.

Godly believers will join with the roommate, the youth director, the student leader, the professor, or the parent who is taking the right position and will encourage him in his right cause. They will not let the opposition have the only voice. What a tragedy that those who agree with a righteous position remain silent! God’s people need to support righteousness whenever they see it and encourage the people who are sticking their necks out for what is right.

Paul told Titus to groom and deploy into church leadership men who would “be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers…they must be silenced…therefore, rebuke them sharply that they may be sound in the faith” (Titus 1:9-11, 13 ESV)

If no one else is speaking up, you may have to the be the David and be the first to oppose what is wrong. If someone already has, join him. Don’t let a David enter the battle against the Philistines alone. The godly man knows where God has drawn the line in the sand and gets on God’s side of the line.

From p. 109, Essential Virtues, Marks of the Christ-Centered Life by Jim Berg