Real Life Stories

Changed Lives: Becky

6 Comments / April 15, 2020

About a year and a half ago, my dear friend, Becky, messaged me that she had been taken to the ER with stomach pain. By the time all the tests were run, she was given the news that she had stage 4 colon cancer. There was no cure. They would simply be working to prolong her life. As you can imagine–this rocked her world. This was not the only thing going on in her life and was simply added to another heavy, heavy burden that she was already bearing.

And, yet, every time I would stop for a visit to cheer her up…well, she’d end up cheering me up! Here she was–going through all of these things– and she was not only smiling (anyone can fake a smile) but she was full of that deep, abiding joy and amazing peace that is a true gift of God to those who have surrendered and submitted their lives to His holy will.

Becky could write a whole book about her life (in fact, I told her she should and that I’ll help her!). It is full of fascinating and interesting adventures. It is also full of the love and care of her Heavenly Father. She has spent a lifetime loving and serving God and He has been there for her time and time again. But a stage 4 cancer diagnosis will tend to test all you have said that you believe, and Becky was no different.

The last couple of times I was there to visit, I asked her how she could have so much joy amidst such dark times? I told her that if she’d ever want to write about it to encourage others, I’d love to post it here on the blog. Smiling, she’d be noncommital but did say she’d think about it.

And then one day, there it was in my email box. She couldn’t sleep the night before so she had written a bit about her cancer and her journey to joy.

I know you will appreciate this and that it will encourage you greatly as you seek to find joy in your own circumstances. Now here are Becky’s own words about her experience–

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It is easy to be happy and have joy when things in life are falling into place the way we want them to. But what happens when things go “wrong” in our perspective? Can we still have joy? What do we do with the verse in Philippians 4:4 that says, “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS; and again I say, Rejoice.” When I say joy, I am talking about the deep joy in our hearts that is there, no matter what comes our way.

So often we like to think that we can handle the turmoils of life when they come our way; but when it does happen, we find out otherwise. What happens when we are going through the major throes of life finding out we have cancer, a child has rejected what you have taught him/her and walked away from the faith, you are having major financial difficulty, or you have lost some one dear to your heart?

That time came for me when I had to do some intense soul searching a little over a year ago when I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The doctors said that there wasn’t much they could do except try to prolong my life some. This really threw us into shock, and all plans and goals came to a screeching halt. I did not ask God why but how. How was I going to get through this? How was I supposed to deal with this and have the right attitude? How could I glorify the Lord and not fail Him?

Then one day while pondering all this, I started asking myself, “Do I really believe God is Who He says He is”? I grew up in a Christian home singing the hymns of the faith, hearing the Word preached, memorizing Scripture, and hearing of other fellow believers’ experiences of God working in their lives and carrying them through life’s storms. But now that I was put into this position, what was going to be my anchor? Do I really believe God about His character, His promises?

Then and there is when I made up my mind that I do believe God, and Who He claims to be in His Word. That is when I found peace, His peace the passes all our understanding! And along with that came the deep seated joy! Satan wants to steal our joy and make us ineffectual as followers of Christ. If we start concentrating on the “What if’s”, it is easy to fall into depression or get angry. God, in His perfect will and wisdom, has a plan for each one of us, and it’s up to us to accept it with the right attitudes and allow Him to work in our lives and through us, to draw us to Him and show us Who He is and what He can do! In trying to be an encouragement, many say that God will not give us more than we can handle. However, many times He does give us more than we can handle so that we can get to know Him and experience that peace and joy from Him.

Since my diagnosis, my Heavenly Father has been by my side, holding my hand and helping me to learn of Him. My days are not always perfect. There are times when I have to ask God just to hold me in His arms as a child and show me He is there. I have been learning so much and, although I wouldn’t have chosen to go through these hardships, I am thankful for the opportunities. He is my steady anchor and the reason I can have joy no matter what He deems necessary to allow into my life. A favorite verse of mine that is a great picture of our help and safety in God’s character is in Proverbs 18:10 –

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe!”

 

 

How Important is Your Stuff?

Leave a Comment / December 6, 2019

I had lunch with a dear friend this week and, as always, the conversation easily flowed as we talked about the Lord, life, family, and whatever else that came up.

During our time together, we started talking about her childhood as an MK (missionary kid). It all started with a string of gold beads. You know–the kind you get for your tree at Christmas. She glanced at them and said that when she was living on the mission field, she remembered her family having a string of brightly colored beads that went missing one day. The next day they started seeing the ladies wearing them in the form of earrings. They had been stolen and turned into earrings!

Now you may think–what’s the big deal? Who cares about a string of cheap beads?

True.

But as we talked further, I started to get just a little feel for the culture in which she lived. She went on to say that in that native culture, stealing wasn’t considered wrong unless someone “caught you”. With this being the case, everything they owned was at risk. Especially if it was outside. Even clothing hanging on a wash-line was apt to be stolen. Any servant brought into the house to help with the hard task of daily living would bring the risk of losing more of your personal stuff.

Since they were hours and hours away from the closest city, there would be no opportunity to get more stuff anytime soon. There was no running to the local Walmart or Target to replace something when you live in the jungle.

As she told me this story, she shared how her father had told her that he had learned not to care so much about his possessions on the mission field. What wasn’t stolen was often ruined by the awful heat and humidity.

As I listened to her talk, I was challenged. How much we all value “stuff”. Right?

Oh, some of us don’t have a struggle with any of this. But a good many of us do. And it goes way beyond just wanting the latest and greatest…

Some people just buy a lot. They are “stuff-aholics”. Others value stuff so highly that they get angry or depressed if some of their “stuff” is ruined or goes missing. And, of course, there are those who just like feeling like they are better than others because of their accumulation or brand of “stuff”.

But, after all is said and done, it’s just that: Stuff. We can take none of it with us to heaven. Whether we like it or not, it will all end up in the junk heap. And our value is certainly not determined by how much or what kind of stuff we own.

So why do so many of us wind up loving our stuff so much? How in the world do we get so off-kilter when it comes to this matter of buying, keeping, and valuing our stuff?

I am sure our materialistic culture is to blame, to some extent. Everywhere we turn we hear “BUY MORE STUFF!” It is the main marketing message that hits our ears [what feels like] a million times a day.

But that’s really no excuse for a Christian, right?

As I think on this, Colossians 3:1-2 comes to mind. It is here that I think we can find a principle related to how we view our stuff–

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

The more fixed our eyes are on heaven, the less important our earthly stuff becomes.

You see, there isn’t anything innately wrong with owning stuff. There are many examples in scripture of wealthy men and women who followed God whole-heartedly.

The trouble comes in when we don’t view it with the right heart and a godly attitude. And I’ve noticed that this attitude is not dependent on how much money one has. There are greedy, miserly people who are living paycheck to paycheck. And there are godly, generous people who make millions of dollars each year. The greedy, uncharitable, or discontent heart appears to be completely unrelated to income.

In my friend’s case, her father’s hands were pried loose from his stuff because, in a foreign land, it became a most uncertain commodity. At any moment it could be gone and he was forced to recognize his stuff wasn’t his own but God’s. And, in turn, he was forced to rely on God when his possessions would disappear.

Here in the western world we live in, we rarely get to such a point. Instead, we need to be much more intentional on learning the godly approach to stuff.

This can only be done by diving into the Word and learning there what kind of attitude we should have. God has blessed us immensely here in the west in regards to material things. But, with that, comes its own special challenges, as well as a grave responsibility.

So may we strive to hold our “stuff” with a content heart and an open hand. After all, it really isn’t ours, anyway. We need to be godly, generous stewards of what God has allowed us to have for this time.

 

A Quick Update

10 Comments / October 8, 2019

Good morning! I won’t be writing a regular post this morning but, instead, wanted to fill you in a bit on what’s happening with me. My next four to six weeks are extremely busy. Let’s just say between the extra work load at the office we are experiencing currently as we prepare for Christmas decor and snow removal and with several added and unexpected things thrown in there, I am more than a little overwhelmed.

With that being said, I am not sure how much I’ll be around until mid-November. I may be able to get a post off at the end of the month, but we shall see.

I did want to let you know that one of my dear friends is coming to take my spot in the office of our landscaping business at the end of the month. It was just so amazing how God worked it all out. Of course, we still need to make sure she actually likes the job, but we are both very hopeful it will be a good fit.

I wanted to personally thank those of you who have prayed for me with all of the changes this year and who have prayed along with us for just the right person to fill that spot. I know a few of you have been faithfully praying and I am so grateful. God has been so good through the whole year, showing Himself so faithful and teaching me so much.

Looking back over this past year, I can truly see His hand working it all out in the way it needed to be. As one of the owners, I really needed to be in the office, familiarizing myself with the new program. And, while I don’t love billing and invoicing (my responsibilities this past year), I did love working with our office staff. They are a fun group of people that loves the Lord and it’s a great environment. While I won’t miss the job, per se, I will miss working with them.

Through it all, God has even provided an opportunity for me to speak at an upcoming national Landscape Technology conference. (This is taking me wayyyy out of my comfort zone and sometimes I am not sure I should have said yes! While I love speaking opportunities with Christian ladies, this will be a completely new thing.) But I can see how this door was opened for me and I am hoping I have some real opportunities to be a light for Christ and to share the Gospel while I’m there. If you regularly pray for me, you can add this to the list. It’s in February.

As I think about not having to be over in the office three days a week, my thoughts have been turning in my head about what’s next. I have had several ideas and plan to introduce anything new to my subscribers first before making it public via social media. If you’d like to stay in the loop of what’s happening with Growing4Life, this would be a great time to subscribe to the blog (if you haven’t already). It’s super easy to do and you will find the sign-up box in the upper right, immediately below the photo of the Bible.

One thing that has really hit me as I have been thinking about all of this is that the time is so short. How can I best make an impact for God’s Kingdom with whatever time is left? This is the question that needs to be answered.

While I sort through all of those ideas, I do have a few things that are already in the works–

I plan to once again offer a Bible Challenge. The 2020 Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge will be a bit different next year and I am super excited about it. Stay posted for details on that.

And I am thinking about doing a Christmas story again this year. I do love writing fiction and really enjoy this little taste of it that I get each year.

 

So, that’s a little about what’s going on here. Thanks, as always, for reading. So many of you are such an encouragement to me and I appreciate you taking your precious time to read what I write. I don’t take that for granted. I know there are lots of things to read out there and it’s no easy task to sort through all of that and decide what you will actually spend your time reading.

So thank you! And have a great day! :)

 

The Path to Peace

6 Comments / October 1, 2019

Sometimes we are forced to travel a path that we just don’t want to be on. We diligently look for options to get off the path and find none. It is at that time that we are forced to make a choice.

First, we have the option to sulk, moan, complain, or get angry at God. When we cannot accept God’s sovereignty in our lives, this is the place many of us find ourselves. We do this over big things–like physical illness and death –but, sadly, we also do this over small things. When life isn’t the wonderful thing we imagined or we don’t get our own way, we so often fall into these sinful responses.

This choice to choose anger and/or sadness over our circumstances yields so many bad fruits.

Two of the most common fruits are bitterness and depression. When we are unwilling to accept the hand we’ve been dealt by God it can potentially drive us to extreme sadness (depression) or extreme anger (bitterness). Both of these turn us into people who are hopeless, unpleasant, and generally ineffective not just for God, but often within our own families or circles. They rob us of our very lives. I’ve seen this over and over. Is there anything more tragic than a person with tremendous potential for God’s Kingdom who has spent most of their adult life in bitterness or depression?

Second, we have the option to work feverishly at fixing our circumstances. We panic and then we pull ourselves up by our boot straps and we decide that, if God isn’t going to help us, we will help ourselves. We try all sorts of things and, as a rule, make things so much worse. All of it often ends in frustration and discouragement when we are forced to recognize that, whatever it is, is outside of our control. In fact, most of us end up at option one (above) after we’ve tried option two.

But we do have one other choice: We can surrender our will and trust God. What does this look like? Well, let me tell you.

I had the opportunity to spend a few days with my brother (Pastor Dean) a few weeks ago. As most of you already know, he lost his wife this past April to cancer after a year and a half of uncertainty. Through all of that, their family remained at peace. They lived out Philippians 4:6-7.

I saw that same peace recently. He is on a path he would not have chosen. He has to do the things he always relied on his wife to do. He is no longer part of a couple when he goes out. He has to grocery shop and clean. But, most importantly, the person he confided in and talked with is no longer there.

And, yet, I have not heard one word of complaint. Oh, he doesn’t pretend that it’s all great. We know this wouldn’t be his preference, but he doesn’t complain. He has told me that he has submitted to God’s will in this and God is providing for Him. This does not mean it’s fun and pain-free. It means that it is bearable and that he experiences the peace promised by God in His Word.

I have to confess that this has gotten me really thinking about the importance of surrendering my will to God’s every single day of my life. Even in the small stuff. Maybe, most importantly, in the small stuff. Because it is this surrender that prepares us for the large stuff.

What are some of these things we must surrender to the Lord?

We face so many different and varied troubles. I think of so many of you that have shared with me your burden of an unsaved spouse or child. How tempting it must be to grow discouraged and angry that God isn’t answering your prayers on your timeline (option 1) or to play the “Holy Spirit” and try to manipulate them into salvation yourself (option 2).

Or you may be facing your own uncertain medical diagnosis and it’s thrown you for a complete loop. Or financial difficulty. Or a job you hate. Or a wayward child. Or a much-beloved church that is leaving its solid foundation. Or a move across the country that took you away from all that is familiar. Or a… the list could go on and on and on.

Big burdens and little burdens. Life is full of them. Everywhere we turn, they are there, revealing themselves as tests.

Will we allow them to make us angry, bitter, sad, or depressed? Will they tempt us into sulking and complaining? Or will we harken back to the promises of God?

As I have watched Dean lean into this trial rather than grow angry or fall into a pit of despair, I have to admit that I have been so encouraged. Dean is no saint (I should know–I grew up with him!) and he doesn’t claim to be one. He gives all praise and glory to God for seeing him through this trial. We are so thankful for this rich reminder that God does keep His promises to those that trust Him and surrender their will to His.

This doesn’t mean we will always get our way. Of course, we won’t. We can’t. But what it does mean is that God walks with us through these things and provides the grace we need to bear them (2 Corinthians 12:9). And that, if we love God, then every single trial we face, both big and small, will yield good things for God’s Kingdom (Romans 8:28).

But this can only happen by surrendering our lives daily to God. There is only one path to true peace and that is submitting our will to God’s. This is no easy task. To say the least. But it is the one thing that will bring the peace and joy that God has promised us in His Word.

 

Please Note: This post is for believers–those who have acknowledged their sin, repented of them, and have trusted in Jesus alone for salvation. If you have not done this, then there is really no way for you to experience eternal peace, as salvation is the only true way to be reconciled and at peace with God. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to email me at leslie {at} growing4life {dot} net.

 

His Will, Not Mine

6 Comments / July 22, 2019

Shortly after three of our four kids left the house (which happened within a little over a year), I found myself fairly troubled. Perhaps I even experienced a case of slight depression. I was not where I wanted to be. And, in fact, what made it worse was that I didn’t even know where I wanted to be. Did I want to go back to being a mom of preschoolers or teen-agers? No, I certainly didn’t want to do that. But I also knew that I didn’t want to be at this place where I had no idea who I was or what I was supposed to be doing. I had left my comfort zone of full-time mommyhood behind me and had no idea what lay ahead. Compounding this were several other dynamics that, all combined, thrust me into a rather dark period of my life.

Many times, during my quiet time, I would complain and simply pity myself (ashamed to say it but true) because my life had gone by so quickly. I wasn’t ready for this new stage. I just wasn’t ready. I had been very content and comfortable in my mother role and I just wasn’t ready for it to be over. Tears would fall as I reflected on the past. The thought that kept repeating itself over and over in my mind was “This isn’t what I want. This isn’t where I want to be.”

Even as I had this thought, I recognized the utter selfishness of it. If I truly believed the Bible, then I knew that my life should never be centered on what I wanted. While in my head, I knew that I exist on this earth to know God and to make Him known, my emotions put up a giant struggle to be heard and obeyed. I knew there was a much bigger picture (and that what I wanted was fairly irrelevant in that picture)–and yet– even as a committed believer in Jesus Christ, I found myself in a tremendous battle with my emotions.

Thus I was thrust into God’s kiln to be tested and tried in a way I had not experienced before.

(Let me just say here that this is one of the things in my life that God has used to teach me submission to His will. I am aware that there are some women who long for the day when their kids leave the house–I just wasn’t one of them. I know this will seem utterly foolish to some of you and you won’t get it at all. God may be using or has already used something totally different in your life. Honestly, I never had any idea that my whole identity and a good chunk of my security was wrapped up in my role as a mom. But I also recognize that not all of you will relate to this. I do hope this post takes the reader beyond the details and focuses more on learning how to respond when something we want is refused or taken away.)

The last five years or so have been some of the most difficult of my life. I thought I knew who I was and then, suddenly, I realized I didn’t know who I was at all. God gave me the opportunity to live out all that I had talked and written about all through the years and I was failing. Miserably. I became slightly obsessed with figuring out who I was supposed to be now that my mother role was just about over. I faced a whole new wave of uncertainty when my baby left for college a few years later. (I still don’t really know exactly where God is taking me, by the way. Every time I think I am supposed to go one way, God shuts the door and pushes me another direction. What I am learning through all of this is that I need to simply submit and yield without fuss. He is teaching me to be content even when things don’t go at all as I had planned. It’s an excruciatingly slow process and I doubt I will ever be able to say that I have arrived in this area of my life.)

There were two especially bright spots during this time and I treasure them both greatly. First was the birth of my grandchildren. Kids just bring sunshine wherever they go. How can you not smile when they are around?

And, second, and much more importantly, was how aware I became of my need for Jesus. Up until this time, if I am being totally honest here, I thought I was a pretty good person. Yes, I needed a Savior but not as much as some people did. I am almost ashamed to write it and I never officially “thought” it, but as I look back, I can see this is what I believed.

But when I came face to face with my self-centeredness and spoiled-brat mentality, I recognized pretty quickly just how utterly sinful my heart is. My appreciation for Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross has increased a hundred-fold in the past few years.

I am still on this journey of putting what I want on the back burner while focusing on what God wants. And He keeps giving me opportunities to yield to Him and His will. It’s not been easy but I do feel like I am moving the right direction.

Why am I sharing this now? I don’t really know except that it all came to mind when Eric and I had the opportunity to spend a few uninterrupted hours talking with my brother (Pastor Dean) a few weeks ago. As most of you know, he lost his wife in April after a year and a half battle with cancer. Even as I write this it still seems surreal. My sister-in-law of 20 years is now with the Lord. Still feels like it just can’t be. As we talked, he shared how he had given Grace to the Lord before he even met her. All he owns is God’s, and that included his much beloved wife. His commitment to Christ is truly a beacon of light in the ever-increasing self-focused, dream-following, mainstream church.

One of the things he said that sort of summed up what I have been struggling through is that he doesn’t ask what he wants but always tries to focus on what God wants. Of course, no one can do this perfectly but this should be our goal.

Sometimes our wants line up with God’s. And sometimes they don’t. This can happen in big things like the heart-breaking devastation of losing a wife and mother to cancer. God called Grace home, despite her family’s longing for her to stay here on this earth with them. Other times, it’s an unimportant, mundane thing where our will doesn’t line up with God’s–like a mom dealing with the empty nest. My time as full-time mom had passed far too quickly and was never going to return, despite my deep sadness and the disconcerting uncertainty that accompanied it. God uses both the big things and the little things to test and grow us.

Perhaps you are facing something totally different. A move you don’t want to make. A lost job. A child that has turned away from the faith. Financial burdens. Family strife. Elderly parents with health issues. There is no end to the problems and struggles that we face on a daily basis. And, often, in these situations our wills don’t line up with God. Many times God seems to says no and the burdens seem to last forever. Or He says wait and we find ourselves stalled in a place we just don’t want to be.

Many times our “wants” are centered on relief from hurt and pain. Our “wants” are often focused on experiencing a carefree, easy, comfortable, and happy life that is free of burdens and problems. But there are also many wants that we have for others, like the salvation of a loved one or relief from pain, disease, or addiction for a family member or a friend. These are wants not centered on us but still leave us wondering when they go unanswered.

And, yet, so often it is when God says no or wait that we experience our greatest growth. These are also the times that we get to shine with real biblical faith before the dark world and the false church. It is easy to smile when things are going well. Having hope, peace, and joy in the hard times–well, that’s when we really stand out as believers. It is actually when we don’t get what we want that we have the potential to be the most effective for Christ!

In this false religion that goes by the name of Christianity, we find people obsessed with self and purpose and following dreams. It is so easy to fall prey to this same mindset if we aren’t extremely careful.

There is a little verse in John 3:30 that flies directly against self-centered Christianity–

He must increase, but I must decrease.

Read that again.

He must increase but I must decrease.

What I want doesn’t really matter in the scope of life. The critical question in regards to our lives is “What does God want”?

Luke 9:23 clarifies this thought even more–

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

If we desire to come after Christ, we must deny ourselves. We must pick up our cross and follow Him. Does this sound like a self-centered faith to you?

One of the most effective tests to find out just how yielded we are is when God’s will doesn’t match ours.

Do we put up a fuss and complain (even if it just to God or to ourselves)? Do we desperately try to fix situations ourselves? Do we grow depressed or anxious? These are all signs that we are putting our own wants and desires ahead of God. They are showing us that we don’t really trust God and His sovereignty in all areas of life.

It is a hard lesson to learn. To say the least.

I remember talking with my sister-in-law a few months before her death. She told me that she was at peace. That she had fought her battle with God’s sovereignty ten years earlier when she had been diagnosed with cancer for the first time.

Oh, dear readers, until we can bow before God in all things, we will not experience His peace.

His will, not mine.

When we fully accept God’s will for our lives and trust that He knows best, we will find the peace and joy that is promised in the scriptures. No matter what disappointment and hurt and pains swirls around us. He will never leave us or forsake us. We will never, ever be alone.

Not getting what we want is not an indication that He doesn’t care. Instead, it’s a reminder of our sinful, demanding nature–like an ant shaking its fist at a human being is a little how we must look to the God of the universe when we demand and manipulate and sulk to get our own way.

His will, not mine.

May that be what carries us on through the difficult days and the unanswered prayers.

 

Thinking Beyond the Obvious (Part 3)

4 Comments / September 7, 2023

I have a little garden behind our house. I drive my husband a little crazy with it because it is a cottage-style garden that derives its loveliness from its disorganization. What I mean is: The plants aren’t neat and tidy and trimmed–as he prefers.

Over the winter, he started talking about ripping the garden out. At first, I was very against this but as I started thinking about it, I began to realize that this would mean one less thing for me to keep after and I started to warm up to the idea. Although we never had an “official” conversation about it, I assumed it was going away. And so when spring came, I ignored that garden. But so did my husband. It grew wildly and crazily without barely a glance at it. It was starting to spill over on the pathway and I did think I should do something about that, but with the crazy busy spring/early summer we had, I just kept putting it off. We didn’t use that pathway that much, anyway.

Finally, on Saturday, in preparation for a gathering we were having at our house, I decided to give that garden a little care. And what I found was a little overwhelming. The weeds had not only kept some of my favorite perennials from showing their faces at all, but they had also taken over and were growing so high, so as to overtake the perennials that had fought for life. The few flowers that did bravely poke their heads through to the sun were rather anemic-looking.

There was a particular type of weed that had really taken over. It was one that I had planted as a perennial many years ago, naively not realizing that it was invasive. Oh, how sorry I am that I planted that plant. It has made that garden a major challenge since that time.

So why am I sharing this on a post about worldliness? Because, my dear readers, that invasive weed is just like the world. It looks very beautiful, at first, and we naively have no idea of the deadly damage it can-and will–do. But, sooner or later, if we don’t keep after that weed, it will take over our garden so subtly and so comprehensively that not one piece of spiritual fruit will remain untouched by the effects of that weed.

Worldly thinking is such a danger to the believer. We can not–we must not–forget this as we strive to live obedient lives for God. Worldliness is deadly to the spiritual health of every believer.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. Romans 13:14

Putting on the Lord Jesus Christ is the polar opposite of fulfilling the desires of our flesh. We are in a constant battle to think like the Lord instead of like the world. The world says fulfill your flesh and follow your lusts. But the Lord says to yield to Him, obey His commands, and to practice godly wisdom. In all avenues of life we should carefully examine if and how worldliness has entered into our thinking.

In today’s Part 3 of this series, I want to take a look at how worldly thinking has invaded this area of Problem-Solving. (You will find the posts on Items 1-3 here and on Items 4 & 5 here.)

6. PROBLEM-SOLVING. There are thousands of books published each year that claim to contain methods and miracle cures to help us fix any bad habit or issue we may face. There is an abundant amount of therapists and counselors and coaches for almost every possible problem that is stealing our happiness. There are more websites, ministries, and organizations to help people with their problems than ever before. And yet, there seems to be just as many problems as before. Are the worldly methods effective in solving problems? I am sure they are at times. However, according to scripture, we know that how Christians approach their trials and problems and even their bad habits should be vastly different than how the world does.

The World: The world says the ultimate goal is to fix the problem so that you can be happy. Do anything to make yourself happy, even if it means divorcing your spouse, leaving your children, or dishonoring your parents. Look out for Number One. The world promotes the ungodly, self-centered philosophies that flow from psychology. It says we have the strength to fix things on our own and that anything is possible if we just believe in ourselves. We don’t need God or any other strength or help outside of ourselves.

What the Bible Says:

1. We are to crucify our flesh, not satisfy it–

And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:24-25

This verse immediately takes the focus off of ourselves and gives us a different perspective, doesn’t it? Our desires and our passions are pretty irrelevant in the scheme of things. We have died to ourselves and we live for Christ. All trials, problems, and situations that we face should be viewed through this lens of the “Big Picture”. Perhaps our suffering and struggle may inspire someone else to turn toward the Lord. Perhaps it will change us profoundly and give us a stronger walk. Perhaps it will show the validity of our faith to a doubting co-worker or family member. There is a bigger picture.

2. It says that trials and problems make us stronger–

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

This means that God is sovereignly allowing trials and problems in our lives to make us stronger and to build our characters. This means that the goal isn’t about our temporal happiness but about looking more like Jesus, step-by-step. Our goal shouldn’t be relief from our problems but instead we should desire to learn and grow from any that comes our way.

3. The world’s thinking on any subject will look foolish when compared to God’s–

Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. I Corinthians 1:20-21

When the world is all for something, it is usually a sign that we should avoid it. So many of today’s methods and claims and popular programs are full of new age philosophies and worldly wisdom. We should always be oh, so carefully discerning in this area of life (even with those that claim to be Christian, as so many have been fatally compromised.)

4. Problems will rarely be solved instantly–

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

In this age of instant-everything, scripture says that our strength will be renewed when we choose to quietly wait and rest in the Lord’s care and sovereign will. While the world says “fix it as fast as you can in any way you can so as to avoid pain and sorrow and inconvenience and unpleasantness”, scripture teaches us that waiting is sometimes best.

5. We aren’t alone. We have a strength bigger than ourselves to support and aid us–

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

It is wonderful to have the support of others, but the Bible tells us that, as believers, we can find refuge and strength from God. Have you ever thought about how amazing that is? I’ve often wondered how people can get through such terrible trials without this.

6. We must recognize that some of our problems and bad habits are just plain sinful–

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey its lusts thereof Romans 6:12

Some (not all, by any means) of our problems and issues and struggles come because we are choosing to sin. This word is not looked upon too kindly in the world or even in many churches these days. But it is always best to evaluate and examine our own behavior in the light of this concept. Is there any sin that is a part of this struggle I am currently facing? Am I responding in a biblical, loving manner? Am I behaving like a follower of Christ should? Is there an idol that has a grip on my life that is causing this issue? This is an important question as we go through the process of solving any problem.

From the above verses and so many more, we can safely conclude that our happiness and relief from a problem should never be our ultimate goal. While, of course, we desire to be relieved from our burden or trial, we shouldn’t be willing to sin or to go against God’s Word in order to fix it or to make it better.

We need to understand that so many of the methods that are used in counseling and psychology go directly against the Word of God. The truth of the matter is that the science of human psychology is deeply, deeply flawed. On so many levels. And so we need to be so careful not only who we listen to but on what we actually apply in our lives.

I think the other thing that needs to be mentioned in this post is our attitude towards even biblical counseling. I have noticed an interesting trend that is rather disturbing. If someone is in biblical counseling but it isn’t solving their problem or there is a demand for personal change, they tend to quit. When the going gets hard, we can tend to just quit.

If we are going to undertake true biblical counseling then we should expect it to be a difficult and rocky path. We are going to have to carefully examine our lives for sin. No more blaming others for our problems. What have we done to exacerbate and worsen the situation at hand? What changes can we make to better things? This is the attitude with which we should approach any counseling.

And what about when it can’t get better? What if we are struggling with a spouse or a child or a co-worker who has no interest in making the relationship work? What then? Do we give up? Or do we allow this difficult situation to grow us and perfect us, as James tells us in the verse above?

Biblical counseling can be helpful when approached with a humble, willing spirit. But even that requires great discernment as there are so many promoting themselves as “biblical counselors” who have absorbed so many of the world’s philosophies. Especially the philosophy of self-esteem–one of the most invasive and destructive worldly philosophies to ever make its way inside the church. It is in complete opposition to what the scriptures teach.

It is so tempting to allow worldliness to seep in when we are seeking to be rescued from a difficult or painful problem. But we must be so very, very careful to never allow our thinking to get skewed just because we are in pain, frustrated, or feeling imprisoned by our circumstances. This is when we are often at our most vulnerable to the wiles of Satan and can so easily fall to temptation. How important that we continue to seek God’s way even in the midst of the problems and trials and bad habits.

(You can find the entire series at this link.)

At All Costs

9 Comments / May 28, 2019

We have a chocolate Lab named Macy. If you’ve been a reader for awhile, you will probably remember other posts about her. She is passionately–even desperately–attached to me. She goes into a bit of a panic if I am not around. If I run over to the office or take some trash out, I can be sure she will be right behind me because she has even learned how to let herself out of the house. If I am working outside, I can be sure she will be laying somewhere nearby. If I hop on the Gator she runs along side it, trying to keep up. I usually slow down a bit so that she can.

The other morning I awoke really early. I couldn’t get back to sleep so, finally, around 5am, I stole quietly from the room leaving my husband and Macy sleeping peacefully. I glanced to make sure she wasn’t ready to get up yet and then closed the bedroom door and headed downstairs to sit outside and watch the sun rise. The sky was already brightening as I took my cup of coffee outside.

I sat there for an hour or so, when suddenly I heard a scratch at the door. My husband was not far behind and opened the door, letting me know that she had discovered I wasn’t in the room and had been crying. I felt kind of bad. He doesn’t get to sleep in very often. I had been so sure she was sound asleep. How did she even figure out I wasn’t in my bed…?

But that’s how she is. If I’m around she’s at peace. If I’m not around she’s not. Macy doesn’t like to disappoint me and so she is a very obedient dog. If I tell her to come, she comes. If I tell her to lay down, she listens to me. Well, unless there is food involved. She struggles to be obedient when there is food involved.

But, overall, she does everything in her power to please me and to be close to me. She follows me everywhere. It can actually be annoying sometimes–like when she follows me into the bathroom or she stops right in front of me and almost trips me in her efforts to make sure I am following closely behind her and am not taking some surprise detour. But it is also a bit endearing. How can you not love a dog that loves you soooo much?

As I reflected on Macy’s passion and zeal for me the other day, it gave me pause for thought.

I mean, I know she’s a dog and all, but bear with me.

As I pondered her passion and zeal for me, I had to ask myself: Where is my passion and zeal directed? Am I even passionate and zealous about anything?

Do I feel like all is wrong in my world if I am doing my own thing apart from God? Do I hate to disappoint my Master? Do I do everything in my power to remain close to my Master’s side?

I finished a book yesterday called Hunted and Harried. It is about the persecution of the Scottish Covenanters during the 1600’s. (I recommend it. It was very thought-provoking and easy to read.) As I read of these men and women who chose to be martyred rather than to turn from true faith, I wondered if I would do the same thing? Could do the same thing?

Is my passion and my zeal for the Lord more important than my reputation? Than my family? Than my possessions? Than my very life?

If it’s not, then something is dreadfully wrong. Jesus challenges us with this very thought in Matthew 10:37-39–

He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

And Paul reiterates this in Colossians 3:3–

For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

And Galatians 2:20–

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

True Christianity means dying to self.

Dying to self in order to follow Christ may lead us into great suffering and persecution. It will probably lead to unpopularity in the Church and to antagonism from the world. Obeying and pleasing Him will most certainly make us appear odd to a world bent on pleasing self.

But none of that should matter to us. Like Macy, we should have one goal in mind and that is to stay close to our Master. And what is the best way to do this?

We read, study, and memorize the Word. We submit and obey what we find there. We yield our wills, desires, and dreams to the will and purposes of the Father.

It’s so incredibly opposite of what we hear these days coming from the pulpits across America, isn’t it?

And, yet, we can’t study scripture and understand it any other way.

The wonderful thing is that while we are dying to self and serving God with passion and zeal, He is faithfully caring and protecting and loving and growing us. He is a the perfect Master and yielding our lives to Him brings true peace and joy that the world can never experience.

I am human and sometimes I can get frustrated with Macy. But God never does this. He wants us close by His side. He never grows weary of us or rejects us for even a second. His love is completely and utterly unconditional. He is wholly deserving of our most fervent devotion and dedication.

We can get caught up in this world and become oh, so distracted. We can forget, as we go about our everyday lives full of busyness, that we are not are own.

So perhaps we should regularly ask ourselves this question: Just how much passion and zeal do I have for God?

Am I willing to follow Him anywhere? Am I willing to lose popularity, reputation, family, or even my life for Him?

Come what may, I hope the answer to these questions for all of us is YES. May we be willing to follow Christ at all costs.

 

The Case of the Disappearing Hair Cream

12 Comments / April 29, 2019

My eyes scanned the store shelves. Oh, no. My heart sank. Could it be they stopped making it? No, that couldn’t possibly be.

Let me back up just a bit. I have very thin, rather lifeless hair. My hair would definitely be one of things at the top of the list were I given the opportunity to change anything about my appearance. But many years ago–perhaps 15 or more–I had stumbled onto a texturizing cream that had worked wonders. I bought it year after year after year. Until that fateful day.

I asked the store clerk. She thought maybe they were just out of stock.

I went back several more times over the course of the next year and realized that it had happened. My hair cream was off the market. At that point, I purchased nine tubes (yes, nine!) off of Amazon and started on my search for a new, comparable product. But, time after time, I’d be disappointed. It would be inordinately sticky. Or too thin. It wouldn’t hold my hair enough. Or it would hold it too much. I was growing less and less sure that I’d ever find a replacement. This went on for a couple of years and my stock was growing dangerously low.

And then one day, just a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through an online store and came across a product that I thought might be worth a try. Why not? I added it to my cart.

After it arrived, it sat there for a few days. This shows you how little expectation I had that it would work. It was almost like I was stalling the disappointment.

One morning, I pulled it out and opened it up. It was a little sticky. I sighed, placed a dab of the white cream on my fingertips, and reached my hand up to my head and…it worked! It worked better than the original! I couldn’t believe it. Finally, I had found a replacement.

I am still so surprised when I use it and it works. It works for hours. It’s better than the original in every way.

So what is my point?

Well, I’d like to tell you another story. Don’t get caught up in the details of the story. Please keep in mind that I am not telling you what your convictions should be. I am telling you my testimony so that you will see that God won’t give conviction without making it possible to experience victory. And that if you are filled with conviction then be sure to follow it through–and if you are smart you will do this much quicker than I did.

If you are a “music” person, this will make more sense to you. I love music. My life would be incomplete without it. I love all kinds of music–well, most kinds, anyway. I had to actually train myself to turn it off sometimes and learn to enjoy quiet.

As a college student, I listened to a variety of music, which included quite a bit of secular rock and pop. As I matured as a believer and became a mom, I began to realize that the lyrics of much of the secular music I was listening to was saying the complete opposite of what the Bible taught. It wasn’t what I wanted to teach my kids or fill my head with. I made the decision to eradicate most of that style from my life. (Which I have never regretted).

While I listened to classical and southern Gospel and jazz music while the kids were growing up, mostly what I listened to was of the Christian Contemporary Music variety (or CCM as it is frequently called). I had nary a hint of conviction about listening to this and was content to have this as part of my life for a very long time.

And then, several years ago now and through various avenues, God started to bring to my attention some concerns with this music. The lyrics were theologically wrong more often than not. The artists themselves were less than impressive when interviewed and often admitted to worldly lifestyles and bad theology. And, the truth of the matter was, if I listened to anything with a heavy rock beat, it would actually negatively affect my mood.

I remember often being angry about something and turning on a heavy rock song. Christian or secular, it didn’t really seem to make much difference. It matched my mood and would feed my anger. I vividly remember the day and exactly where I was when I realized that I needed to make a change. God had filled me with conviction that this music–no matter what the lyrics said–was not His music.

That led to ten or more years of me fighting against this conviction. I was basically addicted to CCM and the rock-style of music and, to be truthful, had no interest whatsoever in giving it up. Besides if I didn’t listen to modern music, what in the world would I listen to? What would even be left? I had already given up rock music and was viewed as really odd because of it. Did the Lord really desire I give up CCM, too? And was I really willing to make myself look even odder? Was I convicted over nothing? And yet the fruit of this music in my life wasn’t the best on many different levels: Teaching me incorrect theology, affecting my mood, and leading me towards the world rather then away from it. I had to admit this. Oh, how I vacillated back and forth for a very long time.

Finally, one day in the not-that-distant past, I said something like this to the Lord: “Lord, if it is Your will that I stop listening to this music, you will have to remove my desire. You will have to help me because I can’t do it on my own.” And I left it at that.

I had no instant answer. I still liked that style of music the next day. And the day after that. But a year or two down the road, a small miracle had taken place. That music had lost its hold on my life. I now was content to fill my ears with hymns and songs that didn’t need a heavy drum beat. I started listening to classical and instrumental much more often. While I still listen occasionally to a theologically correct CCM song or album, I have lost my passion for it. Now, I can take it or leave it.

And here’s the thing: I am a much healthier Christian for it. I even experience less fits of anger. I think rock music does something to our psyches. I can’t prove it. I can just share my experience. I do think it has been proven, actually, but that’s not my point.

My point for today’s post is to let you know that if God gives you conviction, it is for a reason. And the sooner we follow Him, the sooner we will be experiencing the wonderful benefits of yielding to the Spirit, separating ourselves from the world in that area, and growing in our sanctification.

So back to my first story. My new hair cream surprised me by being so much better than my old hair cream. Oh, I could still use the old stuff, but I much prefer the new one. I found something better to replace the old.

So, too, is the issue of music for me now. Oh, I can listen to CCM on occasion but I don’t really enjoy it very much anymore. God really did deliver me from my passion for it. I have no other earthly explanation.

When God calls us to give up something, we don’t spend our lives pining for it. We don’t long for it when we run into it again in the world. He actually takes away our hunger for it. And He gives us new and better desires. It is truly amazing! This is sanctification at work.

While I know this post wasn’t officially about music, I also realize that many of you won’t agree with my conviction about it. In fact, I imagine I will lose some readers over it. People feel very, very strongly about their music. It is one of the reasons I don’t talk about it that much.

However, if any of you reading this have started to have little niggling doubts about this modern day music that is labeled “Christian”, may I encourage you to start praying about it. And then start listening to the lyrics, comparing them to scripture. When the radio is on or you are listening to any song–secular or Christian–pay attention to what message is really filling your brain. Is it a biblical message? Or is it anti-biblical? Pay attention and be diligent in prayer. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and guidance and then the strength to make a change if you are convicted to make one. He is faithful.

 

This is Not the End

10 Comments / April 9, 2019

The past week and a half have passed by in a fog and much sorrow. My dear sister-in-law, Grace, succumbed to the cancer that had cast a shadow of death over her life for the past year and a half. She was the wife of my brother, who many of you know as Pastor Dean, and the mother of their daughter, Katherine.

Grace was a wonderful woman. She lived well and she died well. Our world will never be the same.

So many thoughts have been rolling around in my head throughout this entire time. I wanted to share here some of the important things I have learned through the death of someone I loved very much. Some of these will be things you have learned, too, as you have had to live through a similar situation. And other things will be unique to Grace. She was a very special person and I am so honored to have known her.

First, it is important to die well. We talk so much about living well, but Grace showed me how important it is to die well. The peace and contentment she had in life, she continued to experience as she faced death. Last weekend, we had the opportunity to visit her in the hospital to say our final good-bye on this earth. The peace she radiated as she faced her final days was supernatural. The peace Dean and Katherine exhibited was also supernatural. Grace’s body was failing and the hope for any kind of miracle was pretty much over. And, yet, they were still at peace. It was one of the most inspiring things I have ever witnessed. God, just has He promises, gave grace and peace in an unimaginable trial. They weren’t demanding that God give them their desires or their way through this whole process. They trusted that God knows best and they had yielded their lives to Him. How were they able to do this? Keep reading…

Second, tell people what you appreciate about them now. Don’t wait until they die. We stood beside my brother as hundreds of people came to offer their condolences. I was blessed as I listened to the many kind and encouraging words people had to say about Grace. And I wondered if Grace ever realized what a difference she had made in the lives of so many? For some reason, we have such a hard time saying the good things to people. Or even about people. But perhaps we should say them now to those we love and appreciate. A quick text, a phone call, an email, or a handwritten note are quick and painless ways to let someone know that we appreciate them now–while they are alive. I do wish I would have told Grace what I appreciated about her. What we appreciate about each other is so rarely the the topic of conversation. But it really should be so much more often.

Third, the world will continue on. As we walked out of the service celebrating her life, I saw groups of people chatting and even laughing. I didn’t fault them for I’ve done the same thing. Many of their lives will continue on as normal despite the passing of Grace. And I was so struck by the fact that life goes on. We tend to get a little wrapped up in ourselves and think that a family or a business or a sports team or a school (or whatever) can’t survive without us. And, yet, life continues on. After we die, life must go on. It was a humbling and thought-provoking realization. While we will miss Grace terribly and life will never, ever be the same again for those of us who knew her, life does–and has to–continue on. It feels so very wrong to go on without her and yet this is life.

Fourth, consider regret. In February, we realized that Grace would probably not live through the year. We made plans as a family to spend a weekend with them in June. But some of us weren’t sure we should wait that long. Cancer can go south very quickly. As we talked about taking a spontaneous trip the following weekend, I came to a realization: We would not regret going if she was still alive in June. We’d just have an extra weekend with her and that would be a good thing. But we might greatly regret not going. OH, how very thankful I am that we realized this and made that trip in February. It was a wonderful, wonderful weekend as a family. All of us were able to go except for a few. There is something about the shadow of death hanging over a Christian family that makes the fellowship so much richer and sweeter. That time spent together was incredibly precious.

Regret is a terrible thing. And, in some ways, perhaps we should try to live life in light of this. In both our words and our actions, may we leave little room for regret should death take someone. May we be gracious and unselfish with all people we come in contact with. May we make decisions based on eternity rather than on what is expedient. May we choose the right thing instead of the easy thing. May we do all of this so that we are able to live free of regret.

But, I don’t want to just end this section there. Sometimes we do or don’t do things we regret. We mourn deeply. And yet we must remember that the Lord forgives. May we learn from these things so that the experience is not without growth.  May good changes sprout out of the regret we have experienced so that it is not in vain.

Fifth, express love more often. So often–with family especially–we are a little lax on expressing our love for each other. We are fairly kind and courteous in public and to those that don’t know us that well, but when we get home we leave our shoes and our manners at the door. And yet there is no guarantee that any of us has another day. If you knew this was the last day you would have with your spouse or your child or your elderly parent or that family member that rubs you the wrong way, what would you change? Let’s change it now. Today.

Sixth, don’t get so worked up. Oh, how stressed we get over the littlest things. As Grace lay in the hospital dying it was hard to care about anything else. It was hard to think about anything else. And yet our business had to go on. I had to continue spending hours and hours at a computer learning a new software program. But it did change my perspective. The frustrations and irritations just didn’t seem as big of a deal. In fact, during this time, we also had a terrible stomach flu going through our family. Normally, this would upset me terribly, but in light of what was going on, it melted into unimportance. I wish I could keep this perspective always. I want to. I want to remember what is important and what isn’t. But, oh, how hard this is!

Seventh, fill yourself with God’s Word and eradicate worldliness if you want to experience God’s peace. This may be the most important thing I have learned. Dean, Grace, and Katherine experienced a peace I have never seen before when someone faces death. As I pondered this, I realized two things: First, I do not know of a family that loves the Word of God more than they do. They know it, they study it, and they live it. Second, they have eradicated most of the world from their lives. They do not watch tv. They do not listen to the world’s music. They hold onto the things of this world with an open hand and acknowledge that all they have and are is God’s. They are simply unconcerned with things of this world. Oh, that doesn’t mean they don’t know what’s going on. And that doesn’t mean they do this perfectly. But I recognize in them a real difference compared to myself and most anyone else I know. Worldliness has very little influence in their lives. And I could see that this made a huge difference in enabling Grace to die well. She wasn’t hanging on to the things of this world because she had Jesus and the real hope of a future with Him. The third verse of the hymn “Give Me Jesus” reminds me of what I saw as I watched them:

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Let me view His constant smile;
Then throughout my pilgrim journey
Light will cheer me all the while.

Eighth, make a difference for the cause of Christ. As I heard hundreds of testimonies of people whose lives grew deeper roots of faith through the Word, who were drawn to Christ, and who were encouraged in Christ through Grace’s life, I couldn’t help but wonder: Will I have such an amazing legacy? Her legacy was incredible. She made a real difference for Jesus Christ. I believe she will continue to do so through her death. As believers, this should be our goal.

What are we doing to draw people to Christ? What are we doing to help people grow deeper roots of faith based on the Word of God? How are we encouraging people in a meaningful way based on the Word and not on some humanistic, psychological, self-help way? These are important questions to consider as we ponder our own legacies.

Ninth, memorize hymns. Last Sunday we spent a half hour or more singing hymns in Grace’s hospital room. Dean and Katherine, my parents, and two of her siblings were with us. It was a blessed, blessed time. Every now and again Grace’s voice, now so weak and faltering, would be heard strong and clear as she sang a phrase or two. And then she would sit and listen again.  It was during this time, that I recognized anew how precious the hymns of the faith are. Most of the modern day worship songs would have been useless and annoying at a time like that. Most of our churches feed on second-rate hamburger when they could be eating steak. I sorrow greatly over this change in modern-day churches and am so very thankful for our music pastor at our church who continues to lead our congregation in the hymns of the faith. This experience has led me to desire to listen to them at home much more often and to memorize them, as well. For some day I, too, may be in a hospital room unable to do anything but think.

Tenth, notice the little things. Grace was a tremendous encourager. She would notice if someone was struggling and would reach out. Even in February, she kept asking me about my knee (it’s been giving me a lot of problems). She had an unusual compassion for others. Pastor Dean told the story of the one day she came home from a chemo treatment and wanted to go shovel a neighbor lady’s driveway. This is who she was. I don’t really think I will ever be like that, but I do want to be someone who isn’t so wrapped up in myself that I am not seeing the needs around me. I want to be someone who doesn’t miss the opportunities God gives me to encourage and build up others.

Eleventh, check your priorities. Oh, how caught up we get in the temporal things of this life. They distract us. They keep us from spending time with the Lord in the Word and in prayer. They keep us from thinking about important things. They keep us from sharing the Gospel. And, maybe most sadly, they keep us from focusing on what is really important as we raise our own children or as we support those around us raising their children–the next generation. Oh, how tragic this is. How critical that we remember what is really important in light of the Bible and in light of eternity.

Twelfth, this is not the end! I was so struck by the difference in the tears of those who knew the Lord compared to the hopeless sobbing of those who didn’t. It was a striking difference. It brought I Thessalonians 4:13 to mind–

 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

I saw this so clearly.

As believers, we know we will see Grace again. God told us so in His Word and we know that it is true. We have a real hope that this world does not have. Oh, the lost may comfort themselves with meaningless phrases of a “better place” but they are basing it on nothing. They are empty words from which to derive worthless comfort. But we know–we know— that we will see our fellow believers again! What a blessed hope and promise! And so we sorrow but we do not sorrow without hope!

And so life will continue on without Grace. It still feels surreal and it is hard to imagine life without her. But may her life and her death encourage us to be more like Jesus. May it remind us to focus on what really matters. May her legacy drive us to scripture and away from the world. May it build us up in the faith and confirm all that we know to be true from the Word. And may it remind us of just how short time really is here on earth.

 

The Other Side of Self-Esteem

11 Comments / March 4, 2019

There is a constant push to view ourselves highly. We are wonderful. We are beautiful. We can do anything.

The world, and, more increasingly, the “church”, encourage us to accept ourselves as we are. To love ourselves first and foremost. We are even told that we can’t learn to love others unless we have this deep, abiding love for ourselves first.

Even as I write the above sentence, I grimace inside. Nothing could be further from the truth.

And as more and more people are loving themselves first, we find a world filled with arrogance, pride, grudges, broken families, split churches, and miserable workplaces.

The fruit of the self-esteem movement has been less than stellar.

But there’s another side to this word that we don’t often talk about. And that is this: Sometimes we don’t feel all that wonderful. In fact, we feel like a big loser. We don’t have any self-esteem at all–or do we…?

I’ve been thinking about this as I’ve personally struggled through something recently.

Let me first state that I am sharing this because I believe that there may be a few of you out there who struggle with this, too. Honestly, I don’t really want to share this and–please understand–I am not asking for you to encourage me or build me up. I am sharing this simply because it has happened. It is happening. And I am trying to work through it in a godly way. And maybe my struggle and how God is teaching me through it will help you, too.

A few months ago, God started allowing a few things to happen in my life that started to dig away at my confidence. While I try not to hold on to anything too tightly, I did possess a comfortable confidence in my purpose for this blog and for life, in general. But, gradually, through a number of different avenues, the assurance that I was in the right place doing the right thing faded away and I was left with a lot of question marks.

It all came to a head one day last week. And, frankly, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. Thoughts poured into my head of my inadequacy, my countless flaws, my unfitness for ministry, my lack of wisdom, my selfishness, etc. If I am honest, I was a little frustrated that God had made me the way He did.

And I started to spiral down into a very dark place.

And then God turned the light on.

And I remembered something just in time:

Self-pity is just another way Satan gets us to focus on ourselves.

Did you notice all of those thoughts that poured into my head started with “my”??

When we esteem ourselves highly we are self-focused and everything that happens is about us. Whether we take self-esteem in the arrogant, prideful direction or we take off in the self-pity, woe-is-me direction, both lead us to a place of self-absorption and away from God.

How important it is that we take our eyes off of ourselves. If we aren’t careful, we can allow circumstances to lead us down one of these paths. Whether it’s the praise and glory of men or it’s their criticism and ridicule, both have the potential to lead us into this trap. We must take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), stay diligent in prayer and reading the Word, and then choose to live with great intention in order to avoid these traps and stay on the right path.

We can take great comfort from Paul’s words to the Philippians in chapter 3–

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (vs 12-14)

In these verses we read that we will never attain perfection. It is here we learn that we must press on amidst the praise and the criticism. We must keep reaching forward and pressing toward the goal. This takes intention and perseverance. It takes single-mindedness. There is no time for pouting or self-pity. These are mammoth wastes of time. As are boasting and arrogance. Both sides of self-esteem are danger zones for Christians.

So be on your guard, my friends, and don’t follow my example. Don’t spend even a second in the trap that I landed in last week. We must take our eyes off of ourselves and rest them confidently on Jesus. I conclude with these encouraging words from the author of Hebrews–

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

 

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